A coworker gave me this book, and I had rearranged my office early in the year and created a prayer journal. On the first page I gave myself “guidance” at what should be written within the pages. Since then I have written in it every day and late in the week last week, I wrote on the last page. At the end of the book I had written back in January, a reminder to read glance back through and SEE what all the LORD had answered.
That said, I “thought” we had the issue of “church” resolved, but I should have known better. The week before we were a minute late so I didn’t want us to be late this week since it takes us all 10 minutes to gather things, lock up, get in the car and actually pull out the drive so I said “let’s leave at 8:05 instead of 8:15”. So we did. We had 8 minutes to spare as we crawled into the pew. I was pleased we did so well.
About then Mom said “Do I hear music?” I tried to figure out what she was talking about and faintly you could hear some calm and soothing music before the worship service started. I said “yes”. She said it had instruments in it and that wasn’t right. Then I realized what she was doing. I leaned over and said “I am trying so hard to please you. If you don’t like this church then PICK ANOTHER ONE! And good luck with that because you are not going to like any of them as they won’t be perfect.” She retorted that she had raised me better than that to accept music in the worship building. I told her I didn’t limit my worship of God to the church building like she did. And that because of that if I lived by “her rules” I would have to be forced to listening to AC/DC’s Highway to Hell going down the road instead of listening to a Christian station that would encourage my soul, so I don’t just expel music with instruments just because it contains a Godly message or has instruments. What good does that do a person to just delete music from your life when you believe in worshipping God all week long and not just on Sunday. She said she wished she had just stayed at home and not moved up here. Which was a verbal slap to my face after all we have done to get her here.
Worship service started at that point and she said she didn’t want to go to a liberal church and then I said “then pick another one!!!!” and she began talking to the air with her fists balled up – words that were meant for me that she couldn’t say out loud, I’m sure. And then she lowered her head began crying. I looked around and saw George was like “what in the heck?” and others were looking.
I filled George in on what was going on and he said “well do we need to leave now?” I said “ABSOLUTELY NOT”. I got up early, showered, dressed to come in to worship and I was bot going to let her ruin worship for us. She sat the service with crossed arms and didn’t sing. She can let Satan get in the way of her worship if she needs to but I was not letting him get in the way of mine. I also stayed for Sunday school. For the record. There was no instrumental music in the worship service. I’m sure all of these people, including my mother don’t turn off the radio when God is mentioned in a song that has instruments outside of the service. I understand where she is coming from the but logic does not make sense to me. God’s point is that he wants us to focus on Him with our hearts. With her being this way it was taking our focus off of Him and onto the music. She was making the exact issue she was trying to avoid. And I can assure you this was NOT pleasing to our Lord, this exchange at the time we should be focusing on Him. So try that thought on for size.
We came home and she holed up in her room all afternoon and came out before dinner.
I’m over the church drama. She needs to 1) either pick a church or 2) shut up and eave mine alone. The ball has been in her court THE ENTIRE TIME. She HOLDS THE CHURCH CARD. She just needs to tell me what she wants or where she wants to go. She can have her way if she wants it. Just PICK ONE ALREADY or HUSH UP!
If she were not 76 I would think she was a teenager! I’m mean wooooosh! I am worn out over this issue. I am now VERY angry in my heart at the scene of yesterday. I mean really. Does there always have to be drama. I can write about this b/c it was a public event folks – this is not taking place in the comfort of home but a public place. If you had been there you could have seen and heard it – especially if you are on a pew around us. I’m almost embarrassed to go back now. But at least everyone can see what I have to deal with and what kind of life I have had. My opinions and thoughts have not been allowed to be my own. And I’m just wrong if my opinion does not agree with hers.
And that is why I am the way that I am. If you think I’m stubborn? There is a reason we come from the Mule capital of the world. And it was appropriate that I drank from my Mule town mug yesterday. Although I didn’t know it at the time when I picked it out to have my coffee. Maybe I should find some fruits of the spirit coffee cups. We seem to be missing those around these parts!
George, bless his heart, aside from God and His comforter that He sends, is my rock through all of this. He grounds me, comforts me, and gives me guidance. Both of them. Otherwise we had freaking yelling matches when we got home. I was yelled at and heard the yelling enough as a child growing up. I will not put up with it in my home. But I will defend myself and yell back to get my point heard. I couldn’t do that back then or I’d get smacked. My opinion never mattered. But I’m 58 now and my opinion does matter. And in this case, I’ve offered to take here where she wants and so she just needs to either pick a place or leave me alone about this one. Cut the drama before I cut the cord like my sister did. She completely drew her boundary away from Mom. I believe in honoring your parents. So I’m trying to do God’s will and honor my mother. She has the card in her hand and just needs to use it instead of creating the church issue every Sunday. Well to be fair 2 of the 3 Sunday’s have had drama.
Looking back after I’ve slept on it, Sunday’s were not a lot much better growing up. If ever a day there was going to be drama or anger or bitterness, it was ON SUNDAY. I don’t know why. I just remember dreading every Sunday. It was hectic getting ready and getting out of the house. Everyone got ready at once. We had one bathroom. Everyone would be mad when we got in the car. Well Mom would, I would, and my sister would. Dad, bless his heart would go get donuts, biscuits and do his best to lighten the mood. He was always so quiet in spirit. I guess that is why they got together, Mom could do the talking for him. She likes to be in control, lol.
Then Dad would take us out to eat for lunch so everyone would be in a good mood going home. To restate my point here. I loved going to church as a child. I enjoyed it and learned a lot. I worshipped my Lord, was baptized at the church. But there was always drama going to it and coming back from it. Mom was always in a hurry to get away from it and didn’t always like to hang around after and fellowship. She liked to go straight to the car. That is another issue we are having as well. She is ready to dart out the door and well, we could have done on line service if we were not going to fellowship. So Mom is having to grab a chair and wait. She has made comments to let me know that is not acceptable to her, like “we thought we were going to have to send out an army to find you”. I had been gone less than 10 minutes talking to friends I had not seen in a year and a half.
So this is my world. There is no use hiding it. It just is what it is. I have always said if you don’t like what you see about yourself on the blog, then change your ways. This is what happened to me yesterday. So I’m writing about it. It shouldn’t have happened but it did.
So George fixed a wonderful rib dinner.
Here’s what’s on the menu board this week.
Here is the beans from the bean soup we’ll be having later in the week. The cherry tomatoes are some that George grew. The deer have found the bush though now. Sadly.
He made a really good homemade slaw. My plate below!
My tummy is better now that I had a DAY of letting my tummy digest. It worked. I will also not eat a lot during the day time the next few days.
Ahhhhh…..well several of you enjoyed the video I released yesterday. It was not the best of the best, but then again it was winter and we didn’t have much to share other than the snow and our little Valentine’s excursion. I will begin working on the next one in a week or so but I want to stop and work on some files from my phone and camera since May 1. I want to also work on my office a bit – need to dust and do some filing of personal documents and such. I also may have to stop and get ready for them to come and do the flooring. I don’t want to start on that until I know when they are coming in case they can’t get materials or have to schedule it out. I will wait as late as I can before putting things up (Nic Nacs and things we use often that is on furniture). I don’t want to be inconvenienced for weeks!
Here’s what on the schedule this week.
- Mom’s Birthday on Tuesday – She doesn’t like us very much right now as we are heathens and she wishes she hadn’t come to stay with us as she has said, so she may not want to spend it with us, lol, but we are all she has right now – so we’ll take her out to eat.
- George works from home Tuesday and is going to set up the flooring – doing the finance option of so many months same as cash and will set up the timing for them to come. And we’ll know more then anyway.
- Wed morning at 6 a.m. I have a physical. I made it early to not miss much work.
- I will take her for her hair appt on Wed after work.
- Thursday after work, we are doing trivia with the neighbors.
- If we don’t have anything planned Saturday, I’m calling it to go find a some more jean capris. I need more casual pants. And I will do some sale shopping. I’m calling it. I need some time away before I go bezerk and just run away for good! lol
- Then next Monday a week from today is Mom’s heart appointment at 8:00 a.m. and I’ll be late to work that day. I will have to work extra in the week to make up for that b/c it’s quarter end and I need to NOT get behind with that. Right now I’m about on target I think.
- Then we will focus on George’s birthday and my nephew Kadon’s birthday.
Thanks for letting me vent today. I’m just trying so hard to make things right but it doesn’t matter how hard I try it’s NEVER good enough. Others have to do their part too and on the church thing, if the current church is not the fix – then she needs to pick one. Til then we will just keep doing the same thing and pleasing ourselves.
Anyway, Mom’s been told that. So her fate is in her own hands. And has been all along. She has made all of these decisions on her own. We have simply carried them out.
15 responses to “His Mercies are New Every Morning, but Not Necessarily is Anyone Else’s! LOL”
Your rib dinner looks wonderful. I don’t understand where your Mom is coming from with not liking the music in Church. But I do know God is love and kindness and understanding. We have had music in every church I have ever been in. Sometimes someone gets up and sings and I have seen grown men cry with emotion after the song ended. You and your husband have been nothing but good to her. And She should be very thankful for all you have done. I would be happy to sit in church with my daughter and sil. I guess you can’t please everyone. Even with my own Mother, I had this issue. You have to stand up to them. I don’t think they realize you are grown not and think they can still boss you around. lol..
I know your mom misses her house, but she has the new one to look forward to.
We had a good rain last night. Everything looks so fresh and green. My flowers seem to perk up from it. Have a good day.
Yes I would think people would just be glad we were finally back to church but for them it’s better if we were home and not going I guess. Again she holds the card and I’ve made a promise to keep it. We will figure it out or not. I’m not worrying about it anymore. There’s nothing more I can do.
I don’t understand why music would be such an issue. Ive attended many different denominations of churches and there was always organs, pianos, guitars, etc being played. Very curious.
Churches of Christ take the passage of worship with your heart to mean not with an instrument. The early churches of Christ actually in the early days used them but then broke off not using them and it became a custom and also a source of conflict further dividing the church. Scripture is taken literal for lack of definition. However it should be noted that scripture in New Testament calls for coverage of heads but that never became a custom leaving me to scratch my uncovered head! lol She always thinks our Church is liberal and has had a magnifying glass out since I mentioned it trying to find a reason not to go.
Thank you for your reply. My mother was raised in a Church of God and there was usually a piano. My uncle is 82 and still tours at small churches all over with his guitar playing. Maybe that was the split.
I hope things settle down for you! Take care.
Oh this is not good. It almost sounds like your mom doesn’t really want to go to church. If she’s not willing to accept any changes. It is 2021. Even religions/churches have adapted. I know I’m talking to the wall but I feel bad for you, especially after all you have done for her. Don’t let her take you on a guilt trip. You are not a little girl. You are a grown a$$ woman!
Sorry for my comment, as I was sorry to read this post.
Yes I’m sorry to post such a post but I get support here. I guess it’s my cry for help. My guess is God wants her to revisit this issue from a different perspective- she will have to if she won’t say what she wants or where she wants to go. Thx fir your support!
Hi Sonya love, I’m so sorry that your Mum caused such a scene at church of all places on Sunday. I can’t understand some Christians or so they call themselves but who can’t find it in their hearts to do the very thing that Jesus said was so important …his words were to love our God with all our heart, and to love our neighbours …..I’ve always said if we did both these things everything was right. They are the words I live by. Or TRY to live by. I’m not always so forgiving bunt then I’m not sometimes forgiving of myself.! Churches I’m afraid do cause an awful lot of strife between families. I was brought up in a Church of Christ …There was no music in the church, it didn’t have a “ minister” the services were led by the men members. Women were not involved in anything ( but different when it came to making teas, cakes etc!!). There was no joy in the church at all and I accepted that as that’s what I was taught. When I was 14 and in hospital I saw ministers come to visit their members, and sometimes they would smile to me and say hi …but nobody ever came from my church. One day when I was saying my prayers the minister from the Church of Scotland came in and came over to speak to me, he chatted away we spoke about faith, love, what it meant and before he left he blessed me. All at once I realised what loving God really meant, if I listened to music, maybe even went dancing God was not going to shake his head at me. He loved me whatever I did so long as I did not hurt anyone deliberately….I never went back to the church I had been brought up in…I just knew that it was not the place that believed the same as me…..I’m sorry for your Mum I really am but I do think she needs to make her mind up as to how she wants to love everybody around her. I don’t approve of an awful lot of what people do or say, but I cannot judge them. Somewhere in the Bible it says. Judge not that thee be judged….so I sant judge them it’s not up to me at the end of our days it’s what we have done that we will be judged on and if they truly believe they are right…so be it. God will answer them as well. I hope things calm down a bit as the days pass. It’s only to be expected that she is going to wish she had never moved, it’s just her nature, I’m
Hoping she will calm down. Meantime know that I have you and George in my thoughts and prayers and your Mum as well. Night night. God Bless….
We have had the first ever amber warning to take care of ourselves and others due to this heat we are having it’s warmer than we have ever had it and it’s taking it’s toll on older folks and children today the temp reaches 36c which is over 90 f. The highest ever temp. For us….
Yes there are squabbles over the smallest of issues creating more of an issue than the issue itself. I appreciate your comments! I’m just wanting her to be happy.
My heart sank for you reading your post. Moms and daughters.. there is usually this “thing” that is in the way. You and your hubby have done so much for your mom. I’m sure she is feeling like she has made the wrong decisions in leaving her home at the moment. And maybe the church is just the straw that is breaking her. But to have that happen in church? OY! I would have snapped. You have a lot of patients ! LOL I hope that your mom sees the light that there aren’t to many people in her corner right now and has to “slow her roll” a bit now. I’m sure she is feeling pretty shameful at the moment. And if not then that is on her. You’ve done your part.
I watched your new video, it was cute. Your hubby is a pisser!! To funny! Look forward to more of them!
Take care and keep breathing! 🙂
Thank you so much! George makes the videos! I can’t really do anything about the church thing but pray. I’m at the end of my rope on that issue. It’s almost like one is looking to have an issue. You are right – and I’m not sure what she will do when in assisted living. I’m trying to keep her out of there but rest assured it’ll be tough for her to be churched there! lol
I should clarify – George “makes” the videos funny! I actually “make” the videos as in putting them together- lol lol
Praying for you. I know you are doing everything in your power to make this situation work. I pray that God will soften her heart and make this time easier on both of you. Love you.
Thank you Kathy
Sending love and prayers 🙏