Weakening Muscles, The Plan

Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

Ahhhhhhh, the power of coffee! So, yesterday was pretty miserable. My finger quit tingling for the most part. At least once I kinda figured out what was going on. However, there is still something going on with my muscles being weak. And I think that is why I was leaning on my arm to begin with. It’s not tingling as much but my entire body’s muscles are just weak. And my right arm that has been funky all along is in full blown pain mode, hurting to reach it up. I did force myself to do some exercises last night to try and expand my muscle power and I probably over did it with that right arm being as I showed it no mercy, lol. I even sat on the side of the bed and lifted myself up with my hands on the mattress. Surprised I could do it. That right arm is sore and left isn’t. Of course I try to self care first. I really don’t want to go to the doc and go through testing for dreaded immune diseases and high insurance costs, much probably out of pocket. So the plan is to:

  1. Double up back to normal on the vitamins. Had been taking only the one pack of day instead of two.
  2. Bought some Ensure for the vitamins. Only it has 14 g of sugar but I’ll just try to watch the sugar content the rest of the day if I have one.
  3. Will do my muscle strength training at night before bed.
  4. Will work on the insomnia and sleep issue.
  5. Continuing doubling up on the Vitamin D.
  6. Continuing my push for greens, veggies, and fruits.
  7. Drink more water infused with lemon or lime.
  8. Stand more at my desk. (Yesterday after an hour I had to sit.)
  9. Keep a journal of the issues and ailments
  10. Last but certainly not least, pray about it more

So last night I woke up at 1:30 and was uncomfortable a bit and wanting to stretch my arm and couldn’t since Roger was snuggled up against me. I put a pillow in my place so he hopefully would not roll off and then grabbed Maisy and we slept in the guest bed. I was able to stretch my arm out, say a great prayer, and then go back to sleep. Someone had stolen all my pillows in the bed I came from too, so I missed those. I think they were on George’s side. Anyway from now on if I can’t sleep I’m automatically going to the other bed. It seemed to work fine on all fronts. No snoring, could stretch my arm out and the only thing bothering me were the lights flashing on the comcast box, the router thing.

George found something unusual in our yard this week, a mushroom growing in the tree.

While there, the deer were out and I grabbed a few photos and took a video which was really shaky. I always have the iphone camera ready to go and need to keep my other camera out of the bag and ready. Will be better about that.

There is an old graveyard in the trees behind us.

While shopping at the store yesterday my list expanded suddenly. George was telling Alexa to order some “weird things”, LOL. Funny.

Hitler’s mustache? Cream of chitterling soup? The wrappers were a real item, of which I could not find. They were rice wrappers for the veggie rolls that George makes with the peanut sauce. And Alexa got confused on the Press and Seal wrap – she entered Press and Seal separately. Can you believe Kroger did not have Parmesan I use? They were out. They did not have Press and Seal wrap, nor the rice wraps. Publix had the Parmesan and at least an off brand of the Press and Seal. Nothing is easy. But I laughed at his additions which literally popped up on the screen in front of my eyes at the store and made me giggle.

While I blogged in the private blog last night, Roger snoozed in the room with me. Bless him.

Here’s Maisy at bedtime waiting for me to get in bed with her head on my side pillow.

How cute is that face?

It’s Thursday, and I guess I’ll go on in. What I really want to do is go back to bed and get more sleep. I just need rest and sleep. By the time the work week is done I’m exhausted. I really need about two more hours of sleep at night during the work week like I get on the weekends, but geez. I don’t get home til 5:30 or so – I can’t go to bed at 7 or 7:30, lol. There’s chores each evening and dinner and squeezing in some 30 to 45 min show. Then crashing after that.

Anyway, something has to change. Meanwhile I will keep pushing through as best as I can. But I will say that last week and this week, work has been hard just getting through the day.

So I will appreciate your prayers til I get this sorted out. Meanwhile the coffee is a life line! I hope this passes. I’ve always had tiredness, pain, and muscle weakness, and some brain fog issues but this time it’s on steroids and overdrive! It’s totally out of control right now and impacting my life in a big way. If I can’t get it back under control, I’ll have to go to the doc.

A Different Kind of Change

Good morning! Not really a lot to hop on and tell in the last day or two. Yesterday was my annual wellness physical. I had discussed with the doc office regarding the safety of this visit. I was told they were not seeing sick patients. (This office has a walk in center adjacent to it, so perhaps the sick ones go there?) I didn’t ask and kinda didn’t want to even think about it. But the lady I talked with said she had MS and a pacemaker and was in the office every day. I said if you do that (working/risking her health) for us, then I’m coming in. She laughed. She said there were only 4 of us that would be in the building when I was there. It was more like 10 of us. But I think she meant patients.

Photo by Gustavo Fring on Pexels.com

My appointment was at 6:20 a.m. It was only me and another person in the lobby. We both wore our masks. I used my own pen to check in. I was called. And weighed in. My weight was up. I would love to blame COVID – but truth be known it all began with George’s birthday extravaganza about a year ago. A turning back of sorts to many things I’d missed. And drinking fewer shakes, doing less cleanses, having diverticulitis issues, which further defined my eating categories to fewer items, my fight back from it and declaring to my body that I would eat pizza again, and pasta and bread – a daring of sorts for the gastronomic issues to take that away from me. And oh, my body is winning. It’s taken on the bread, the pasta, the mayo, the dips, the crackers. Oh too well.

My appetite was weird, I knew I’d be hungry but I couldn’t crave any particular food. I’m not sure how to explain it. I had no desire for anything really. So I began just eating all my favorites. I even wondered if I’d had COVID and had lost my sense of taste and smell and just didn’t realize it and viewed it more as a loss of appetite, but then that is not right either as I definitely eat. So I ate, and ate good food as all the lock down and post lock down occurred. We have had fattening casseroles and cookies after dinner. If the world was going crazy and we are going through an apocalypse, we might as well eat what we wanted. And drink what we wanted with fancy cocktails and appetizers and hor d’oeuvres. And seconds at dinner because it was there and it was good.

Photo by Silvana Palacios on Pexels.com

It’s a wonder we aren’t whales. Maybe we are relative to some. So the scale tipped a bit over what I’d have liked. Ok a lot over what I’d have liked. So before I ever sat in the little office to wait for the doctor, my head was already reeling in thinking of the things that needed to change immediately. I do it after EVERY doc appointment. I create the list. What am I gonna do better? It’s like a New Year in July. What rules are you gonna set that you will slide off from two months from now? Rolls eyes. I know myself too well. But there’s something to say about trying. I was able to lose 30 lbs once. Yeah it was gained back. It has to be the “lifestyle” I’ve said before. And shakes every morning does not cut it for me. I like the shakes but not every morning. The cleanses helped though, but they became burdensome and dreaded over time. But they did help.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Then come the questions. Why does dessert that tastes good have to be bad for you? Why do the things that are good for you not taste as good as dessert?

But what if we didnt have these annual wake up calls – a call to reckoning? What if you made it fun to eat right and exercise and fit in the size clothes you wanted to fit in. What would that feel like? It’s kind of a religious revival of sorts. A “coming to fess up party” and a change to get on the right path again. A repenting and turning about!

So yeah, it’s time to reign it in a bit and go in a different direction. I’m an hour away from finishing Michael Pollan’s “In Defense of Food”. In the book he says “eat like the French, eat like the Italians, eat a Mediterranean diet, eat like…..and he goes on and on listing other countries and then says “Just don’t eat like a westerner”. Ahhhh it’s so hard. But I just have to keep on trying. I have to go in the other direction. We can no longer go back to eating what the heck we want. I kinda got over the hamburger addition and pretty much the pasta addiction. I had to give up nuts though and gained crackers, and began adding back the bread. I like to have a munchy in b/w meals. But need to find a good snack to fit this hole in my morning and afternoon. I have since gone back to nuts this week but have had increased pain in my abdomen and some issues there. So backing off again in fear. Was it nuts or those sesame seeds on the side of my sushi, darn it? They sneak in seeds on you everywhere.

I have replaced the crunch with carrots for this next week. A few months ago though, my system could not even digest a carrot and it was recommended to eat all the things I was trying to avoid.

I just wish it was not constant turmoil over what to eat. And that is exactly why I gave up the turmoil saying I’m freaking over this. And Covid happened and we just ate what we wanted.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

I’m pouring my heart out here including my frustrations. But overall I’m not frustrated so much anymore. I’ve tried to accept it as part of life, much like this COVID snarfle (that’s my replacement word for the shidoodle I really want to call it) that we have going on right now.

It’s really just a desire to survive, live, not get a disease, have a heart attack or stroke and be able to enjoy grandchildren. And the only way to survive is to try and do better.

The nurse came in and took my BP – 20 points high. Oh dear. I feared the uppage of the BP meds, or a change in meds which scares the potittle out of me because it usually means issues with your heart, issues breathing, and fluids in places they ought not be. That was the last experiences with trying various BP meds.

But the doc came in himself and took it and it was 120 over 80. Oh yeah. Was it luck or a fluke? Bottom line, no change in meds. All good on the BP front. Bloodwork and urine samples given and those results come in later and will be the real tell all. Is cholesterol high, sugar high? Of course it will be. I’ve been consuming the classic Westerner’s diet, minus a few burgers and fries as I’m past that addiction. I’m not expecting improvement. How could one expect it?

Photo by Noelle Otto on Pexels.com

Do you want to know something? I never even looked at the numbers last time? I couldn’t bare it. I didn’t even peek at it. I was going through the eating issues and I knew it wouldn’t matter anyway, as I was having to eat whatever my body could digest at the time. And things just went sideways from there. Eating changes and diversions just end up causing other issues too it seemed. Remembering “don’t eat white foods” because your sugar is too high. Then having to go back to it b/c I had diverticulitis and nothing could be digested but mac and cheese and potatoes and rice….and broth. Doh! What to do? lol.

It’s a see saw of trial and error. But I have to get back on the see saw. I have to figure out how to level it out. I have to want to do this. I have to want to feel better. Have to want to wear a lower size. And oh I do. I have to image being smaller in my head so that I go toward that. So that I move in the right direction. And see the future and not just satisfy the moment.

Photo by Ella Olsson on Pexels.com

The good news is, I’ve learned to love some healthy things. So while I may sound negative and barking at the trying – after all there is that side of things, I do realize it can be fun to try and do the right things again. To find joy in the journey again. To realize how good you feel again. I can do this again. Maybe not in the exact same way, but in a way that is enjoyable and stickable. I may do a cleanse day and I may not. If it is a dread – I’d say that is dangerous because forcing myself to do a dreaded day only makes me never want to do that again. But when I enjoyed it, I longed for it again.

So. I think it is all about the mindset. I think that is the biggest tangle aside from what your body will allow and tolerate…..and digest. I mean for some reason, I can’t even tolerate ketchup anymore. It burns my esophagus. I can eat it on something like a burger if it is a small amount. Or if it’s mixed in something, but just to dip a fry in it burns my insides. So odd.

Anyway, yeah, the mindset. I will try again and I’ll have a good mindset about it. I’ll focus again. We’ll keep working at it. And try to make it fun. And I’ll share my experience.

And so…so far all is ok – no changes in meds. And I will review both this doc visits numbers and will also pull last times numbers as it will be in my records on line. I will look at the data and not let it alarm me. I will just knowingly try to do better. Research shows eating like most any other country will give less of a chance of diabetes, cancer, and heart disease. So how broad is that?

Let’s explore our options out there? Let’s learn a cultural change of how we eat? And of how we think about eating. It has to be a different kind of change. Who’s with me?

That said, it’s the weekend now and we have some plans. I’ll see you either later in the weekend or on Monday morning. What you guys doing this weekend? Be safe. We will be too!