Mid-Week Update and Some Details about Jesus You Don’t Want to Ignore

Well, good evening! It’s Thursday around 6:30 p.m. as I start to type this. It’s been very busy this week as I’ve worked about 11 hours a day (not including the commute) – leaving the house about 6 and getting home about 6 or later. The car issues continued. Got the car back and it began leaking oil so it went back in the shop. I have driven four vehicles in the course of a week and my stuff and George’s were across the four of them at various times (our RAV4, Mom’s Hyundai car, my Chevy Equinox car, George’s Honda Accord car). I left my backpack at Mom’s once, and we temporarily lost the extra garage door opener, but many times panicked if we had the right keys, wallets handy, and so forth. I have my car back and all is well except it kinda smells like oil after a while. George said to give it a couple of more days because they probably spilled oil in there and it’s on the engine or something.

Quarter end? Well I started the week with 27 returns to do and as of Wednesday night (present time as I type this) I only have 8 to do and they should be easy ones. I had to throw many many hours at it – going in early and staying late to get through with payroll so I could get to the returns. It’s been a weird month and time was not on my side. But I have worked like a dog to get it done. And I have been exhausted every night to the point of almost not being able to think or move and my arm is giving me fits. I am almost to the point of having it x-rayed but will wait and see if it calms down when I’m working a normal schedule and not overusing it. There are some knots on my arm and I’m hoping it’s just built up muscle from being the dominant arm and not anything like tumors. The left arm doesn’t have them. :-O. They have been there a while but my arm is hurting me now – oh – and I also hit my elbow at some point and it hurts too – but it had been about two weeks since I hit it – I don’t even remember where and what I was doing, but I guess it’s just the overuse making it go haywire. Still here I sit typing. So obviously not too bad for that. I think the quarter end is just exacerbating it all but I do need to let the doc take a look at this in July if I do not go before then, or keep feeling bad and having pain.

But at least quarter end is narrowing down and the 8 returns should be manageable. I have all the hard ones done. And this time I was afraid I’d not finish, so I began with the highest earnings, highest taxes, and paid those first and then worked my way down. That way whatever was left undone would be minimum in fines and or interest charges hopefully. But we are getting close to just having ZERO filed returns for states that are open and just no one in them anymore. Sometimes it is easier to keep a state open and file ZERO than to close the account and have to start it again if another sales person or driver is hired or something.

I’ve still been doing my devotionals even though I’ve not blogged much. And I do have a special entry to do for today’s blog. Not much interesting to report with me, and so I have some notes I’ve written for future blog posts. I started to call these “canned posts” but then is it proper to call God’s word canned? Probably not. As the blog post I want to do are notes I took and saved for a blog post when I didn’t have anything else to write about. Not that I want to give God the back seat on my blog, it’s just that my blog was really meant to be a “reality blog” of sorts. And I am spiritual so I will share things here and there. And I’m being called to share this with you today. So I am.

Back when I read the gospels….Mathew, Mark, Luke, and John

Within the last couple of years, I was being led to read the gospels again and when I got through I asked myself what I had learned and what Jesus wanted to me to learn from Him while reading. I made some notes. Here they are. I hope if you have not read the gospels through that you will do so as it follows Jesus’ time here on earth, and his interactions with others, and in following God’s will, and eventually leading up to his death and resurrection. It shows the relationships He had with His disciples, His relationship with God, His conversations with sinners, and his views on faith, believe, and life. Please find a corner, some coffee or glass of wine, and give it a refreshing read and take notes on what your take aways are. Note how Jesus Himself will speak to you through the pages. I’m not kidding. When you open your heart, and listen, you will be attended to and will find many answers.

What I learned about Jesus by reading the Gospels.You don’t want to ignore this!

  • Jesus spoke right on point. I mean – no nonsense. He said what He meant and meant what He said. He wasn’t rude. He was just truthful and got to the point.
  • Of course I would notice this one, lol —–> He was worried about others eating. He ate meals with others before and after certain events, He fed crowds. He not only was worried about the spiritual feeding but made sure those He was around were fed. I love that about Jesus. He helped his disciples catch food (fish), He fed multitudes who came to listen to the word, He had the Last Supper, He fed His disciples breakfast on the beach after his resurrection, He ate with His friends at their houses, and even turned water into wine.
  • He healed anytime there was faith. A guy on a mat that couldn’t get near Him but believed in his heart, a women who touched the hem of His garment who believe He could heal her.
  • He questioned people’s faith. Oh gosh. Maybe we should start questioning our own faith and the faith of others? You take your eyes off him in the storm you start to sink. You fear man and deny him 3 times and get your ear cut off. You disbelieve and get your head cut off. :-O Not that fear should drive our belief, but faith should drive our belief. A child like faith, one that does not have to see to believe. I got on an airplane at 16 not really understanding they could crash. My fear came later and I could not get on an airplane. I finally did because of my faith- and the spiritual experiences I now undergo when I’m on a plane (because I pray and tell God how beautiful His creation is and how peaceful it is up in the sky). Still without faith, you should have fear because it is not going to end well if not. Just being like Jesus here and scooting on to the point.
  • He sought out quiet time. And time with God. Peace, strategy, planning, plotting, listening, intense, sweating – to the point of blood prayers. Time alone with God to regroup, fight it out, figure out what’s right – (take this cup from me —but Your Will be done).
  • He spoke in parables. He gave alternate or similar stories so others would understand and get the big picture by speaking in their terms and literally on their turf.
  • He knew God’s plan and stuck to it. He was without sin. Although we are told we cannot be without sin which is why He died for our sinful nature because we could never be free from sin. No more animal sacrifices and rituals to go through as they did in old times now -as He paid the ultimate price for what we could never do, opening up eternal life for those that believe and follow His Will. Death has no sting for those that believe.
  • He taught. He shared what He knew. He gave instruction and truth.
  • He taught others to teach as well.
  • He put God’s business above family. This is hard. This gets personal. I can remember my Mom being so upset with Him because he was gone all the time doing church work (God’s work, trying to reach others, teach others, bus ministry, children’s ministry, open Bible studies with others in their homes, teaching others to teach, starting a church in North Carolina and doing ministry there.) Meanwhile Mom was left to bring us up and deal with the things at home. I see both their sides, but….who can argue with “I must be about my Father’s business” as Jesus told his mother when she finally found him in the city around the age of 12 I think – asking him where he’d been? And those Mary versus Martha stories will get you every time. Those household chores need to be done but God’s word needs to be heard. It’s a battle that continues today.
  • He hung out with sinners – not to do what they did, but to teach them. And you know, when someone is at their lowest point in life, do they not sometimes listen? It’s not going to be the proud ones high on life I have found. Is it? They might be sinners too, but God seemed to find the right crowd ripe for His message. No doubt he didn’t have to look far. He often just handled things as he came upon them. The woman at the well? Yeah, He knew all about her. He knew she’d be ripe for His word. And while other’s condemned her, He had compassion and love for her soul. He did not cast her out as a lost cause. He gave her hope. And probably eternal life.
  • He resurrected from the dead. Brings life to death. And the great thing about that is that if we believe in Him, so will we!

I hope you read that and let me know if you did. I believe and I’m so grateful to the one that makes Life possible. Please go back and read the Gospels again in the New Testament and make a list of the things that you saw Jesus do and what was He trying to teach us? And You? What does He say to you?

I’ll be back in a day or two! I’m packed for Knoxville. Sortof. We will be winding down the week in the next couple of days. I’m feeling less stress tonight knowing the quarter end is going to all work out.

God, Grace & Gratitude Gets the Focus

You’ve probably seen this picture before if you are not new to the blog. I saw it in my photos and decided it was a perfect focus for this period of time in my life, and also for the start of this blog post.

Each week is a struggle for me, a battle. As a person who feels too much and pushes it down (or writes about it), and a person who analyzes too much (and still doesn’t come up with an answer for life), and a person who seeks joy, but rarely finds it (because of the previous two things), I find that this simple quote brings me peace.

I have plenty to be thankful for in the midst of this season of life trying to run me over as if I’m a thrown out cup on the side of the road. So what, if only twenty-two people watched the last video I worked so hard on and was proud of, so what if I goof up and make a mistake at work by putting down the wrong date, so what if most of my personal down time is not existent anymore, so what if we don’t get to see friends anymore, so what that life feels so alone most of the time in a world full of interesting people, so what if I don’t get to travel and explore the world like I thought I’d get to do some day, so what if I’m no longer in control of most of my life (unless I left everyone behind and ran away, lol), so what if others don’t like who I am, don’t appreciate or see any value in me as a person. So what! So What! So what!

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

I can choose to lay in bed and wallow and feel sorry for myself.

I can choose to chase my tail in circles and find new strategies (that also seem to fail me).

I can give up on all I’m striving for. (That’s looking like a really good about right now – no goals, no aspirations, no worries, no trying.)

I can take a break and come back and try YET AGAIN (probably will do that –again).

I can whine, blog, vent, fuss, cry (been there done that).

I can let my thinking continue to be negative and tell myself that no one likes me, loves me, cares for me. That everyone is tired of me, doesn’t understand me, rather not be near me. That I’m a failure at work, at home, at play, at video creation and that basically God made a mistake when he made me and that He only made me so everyone would have someone to judge, punish, criticize, make fun of, hate, and talk about.

I can do all those things, and have.

Photo by alleksana on Pexels.com

Or I can let God, Grace, and Gratitude take over my life, sit at the wheel and make the decisions for me. I am a pitiful human that only He can make perfect. We can beat ourselves up for all that we have failed or continue to fail, for all we do wrong, for mistakes we make. We can analyze ourselves and others to the moon and back trying to understand why we are the way we are and how to fix things, or make things better, make people like us, read us, watch us, spend time with us (time we don’t have), or we can just give all the worries to God and let Him make our lives perfect in Him.

I’m afraid that is what I have to do. I just notice I said “afraid”. Yes, I am afraid to let Him have control. I have fought to have control for so long. But it’s the only way I can be at peace. The devil is shaking in His boots right now because He sees an internal change taking place and shape within me. He doesn’t know what is up, and frankly I don’t myself. But the devil has been throwing curve balls increasingly.

He (the devil) stirs up all kinds of things everywhere and from every angle to discourage me, make me look bad, make me feel bad and to hit me in the knees and make me buckle over to stop me. He should know me better than that. He should know God better than that. If He had he wouldn’t have fallen from heaven and from grace. His pride got in the way.

But God humbles us in our pride if we are in Him and He gives us hope and something to reach for. He forgives and shows compassion. He leads us to the right paths when we don’t know where to go. He comforts when we are depressed. He lets us rest in Him when we are weary.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

I’m at a low point right now in this season of life I’m in, but it’s ok. I have God picking me up and lifting me higher. Maybe even to a new purpose. I don’t know. I’m trying to be persistent in my goals because that is what is ingrained within me. I’m trying not to be disheartened by this life. I am anyway, but God, Grace, and Gratitude will get me through. God is the one that is in charge of this game we call life and even though we may play our own chess pieces, He makes good come from every move, leads us as we make our moves, and He will play the end of the game, just as He does. And we know who wins in the end.

I will “Embrace What is and Forge Forward” as I always do. I won’t give up. I will fight the fight. I will keep the faith. I will not let my own negative thinking, or negative people consume me. I will bury my grudges against all in a mind visual of burning them into the fire, one by one and they will all be gone with the wind. And if these storms are bad tonight, we might all be. :-O

Deep session today, but not really. We are all deep. Sometimes deep in manure. lol. Sometimes deep in thought. I realize we don’t have to dive in deep anymore, we can just “Let Go” and “Let God” – sorry to use an expression that so many have worn out, but when you get right down to it, that seems to boil it up.

My focus right now is on quarter end, getting Mom what she needs, giving George some time on Friday, pulling our easter meal together this weekend. More on that later.

Be back on Friday friends.

Turtle Speed but Finding Ourselves

Good morning! Sipping coffee here and trying to get the day going. Here is the little turtle with the “bobble head” that I had lost in the office move. It was in the basement in the lost box with the plants. He’s happy bobbing his head again. Bless his heart. It’s amazing he was found. He’s been with me a lot of years. I don’t even remember where he came from. But I really missed him when he was gone.

And here is the new hairstyle after I washed it and basically DID NOTHING to it but put a little mouse in it and scrunch it – after it was already dry. This works for me. I tried to get this scrunchy bob look in my thirties and forties and my hair would not do it. I can’t believe it is doing it now. If I try to grow my hair long again, ya’ll remind me – it ain’t for me! I just can’t tame it and deal with it long. I look more groomed and less of a wild woman with it short and tamed, lol.

This is picking up and going after working to get some voiceovers done in my videos and then rushing off to work. Minimal time for make up and beauty efforts. Plus I have no one to impress. I’m in an office by myself most all day working with numbers, spreadsheets, and an old DOS based kind of program, and email. So not a bad “do” for darting out the door. Today is day 2 and it’s much straighter and I will use a hair dryer brush to put some style and body into it. Anxious to see how that works. But I like the curl when it dries by itself.

I have to put the little clip in though because that one “curtain bang” on that side gets in my eyes/face and drives me NUTS! And I’m already there at the NUT stage so it wasn’t doing me any favors. Let me say again how much I’m enjoying just the lightweightness of it, having gotten rid of what seemed like two pounds of hair, lol.

I’ve been able to make some progress yesterday morning, as mentioned, with the next movie. This one is in line with a lot of others I’ve done. It gets into us having some fun and getting out into the community. I’ll work on it more this weekend. But I doubt I’ll be able to upload this weekend since we will be gone some of Sunday. We’ll see though!

I’ve also spent some time thinking on my niche and goals with the blog and videos. I have been wanting to do that for a while and my head has been in other places. I’m starting to think about 2023 goals and aligning myself with whatever I decide to work on. As you know it’s all a slow go, turtle speed because of working FT and now, also, the part time (almost full time) job of taking care of Mom, as that involves several hours during the week.

Speaking of Mom, we had dinner at her house last night. I’m not sure what is going on with the HOA, but she sent the next check in and they cashed it. So at least she is showing she is paying it. No one will talk to her on the phone. I’ve asked if she wanted me to handle it and she said no. So hopefully they have not place a lien on her house as they said they were going to. (She was sending payments in and they would send them back and then call and say she owed money.) I don’t know if she was sending it to the wrong place and got it figured out. She says a different place is cashing them now – a different company. All I know is she asked for the filing cabinet so she could keep it all straight and that made me wonder if she might have sent it to the wrong place. She didn’t seem upset about it anymore so I wondered if it all got straight and maybe she had just sent to the wrong people. I can’t imaging the right people sending money back, lol. We’ll never know I guess.

We took her the filing cabinet. I’ve been trying to find a new one for here to replace that one that was going to go in here. I was going to be setting it up this weekend as we had moved the bed out. I’m so glad she asked for it when she did and I didn’t have to “RE – Move all my files”. That would have made me angry. So I’ve picked out one I really like but it’s in the three hundreds. I’m trying to decide if I really want it or just stick with plastic. The plastic sticks and is hard to open and close. I find I just don’t want to even file with it. So I think it would be worth having in here and I would use it often. I’m trying to decide if I want to save up or just bite the bullet and order it. I’ll likely do the 2nd option since George told me to. I am going to use it for storing notes and ideas too. Instead of keeping them all in notebooks and folders and across all my desk. I think it’ll be worth it. I have had a little windfall come to me and also we’ll have a tax return. George bought a ukulele, lol. So…..yeah, I think I’ll decide today and have the order placed by weekend and get my office back like I want it.

In recent days, I’ve set an appointment for Mom to get her hair cut. I got mine done so she wants to get hers done. And I’m setting an appointment soon for us to get our toes done. I was going to do mine next week but now taking her to get hair done, that might change to the following week. We’ll see – lots of things on the schedule so I’ll have to try to see how to spread things out.

Mom’s watch that syncs with her phone “died” and she has ordered a replacement so we’ll have to go pick that up at the AT&T store. And Fancy pants was having a tummy issue yesterday. She said that what we set up with her “google voice” on the remote control was no longer working but when we got there it worked fine.

I told Mom that maybe one day we would show up and something good will have happened. It seems like there is only bad news always when we see her. I pray for her to have good things happen to her though the day but I guess it is just life. Everything breaks and bad news comes more frequently than it used to. I ask God often to help us have some good days and he brings them. I’ll pray that for her too.

She told me I woke her up when I texted her the other day. I guess it was early in the morning and I returned a text she texted me when I was asleep. So I guess I should wait until after I get to work to text back. She told me ducks were quacking as it texted and it sounded like people babbling in her sleep. But I figured she told me that to remind me not to text that early. Since ducks flying overhead is not really newsworthy, lol. She said when she woke up she realized ducks were flying over made the people babbling noise in her sleep and not my text sound. She will often wrap details up inside other stories to make a point. So I figured it was the texting and waking her up was the message she was sending. Noted. Don’t text before 8. And George wonders why I analyze everything. lol. I’m always trying to catch the secret meanings of what’s behind door number 3. Wasn’t that a game show? I think my life has been some kind of game show in itself.

We are looking forward to tomorrow – a complete day of doing things we need to do here. So many things to do to stay afloat. I suppose I will do a blog entry at some point this weekend.

I’ll be focused on finishing the sun room, finding my summer clothes – mainly PJ’s. I have to make sure George didn’t send them to Mom’s so it’s worth finding them a week early as I”ll want them next week. My one consolation is that if these are missing – he’ll have to bite the bullet and I’ll get all new summer PJ’s, shoes, and purses, lol. So I am no longer dreading not finding them. If they are missing I shall shop! But there’s been too many times I go to find my stuff and it’s missing, only to have been sent to Mom’s. ::sigh::

We have a lot we want to do to be put on the schedule. So it happens. If you don’t get it scheduled it doesn’t happen. So time to plan. Also need to do some shopping for my filing cabinet in here, organize the office back, work on my video, do our laundry, set up the puzzle table, work on some goals, clean the house, plan our easter meal and next week. Try to see what patio table Mom wants to order and what cabinet she wants to order for her laundry room. I don’t have time to shop for myself other than Amazon so unless we do something on a Sunday now that we do church, or after work, then it will just have to be done online. There is no extra time to gallavort about everywhere shopping for things. I invented a new word, lol. I lost that luxury long before Mom joined the picture.

Anyway, I’m going to go style hair. It’s casual day today and I’m wearing jeans and a sweat shirt. I have a lot going on at work. Deep into quarter end. I was ahead but something happened in the system that caused us not to balance on the reconciliation. I’ve looked for it for over a week. Finally had to have help as I often do not know where to look or what reports to compare. My boss has been doing it so long she can walk in and know what reports to pull. I learn more every time. I got further this time than last time. But now I’m needing to work on withholding returns for each state and also unemployment returns. So just a lot to do and next week the month will be half over and it’s a shorter week and a holiday week so more to do there. I don’t want to have to work a Saturday so I’m going to have to figure out how to get everything done. I’m having to leave on so many days on time so I get to doc appointments, self care appts, and dinners at Mom’s or elsewhere, so it’s hard to stay late. I don’t want to give up my morning time either. I already give up Tuesdays, lol. ::sigh:: It’s always hard trying to fit everything into these windows of time we have.

And truly the last week, I’ve just been exhausted by nightfall. It seems about 8:30 at night I feel almost faint and washed out. The energy just completely falls and I’m so wiped out I have no choice but to fall into bed. And that I do.

Life is certainly full. Much like the bobble head turtle – we’ll get things done, and find ourselves, but it’s a slow go. We will sit and bobble our heads and figure it out. lol

What are you wanting to do this weekend?