Signs of Fall, Fall Bucket List, and Anticipation of the Move

A Fall Walk. Happy Sunday here. The rain fell over night and the dark clouds remained so the sun did not wake us up this morning. The result was a nice 10.5 hour and much needed sleep versus the 6.5 I normally get. Sleep is good for the psyche. And so is walking.

I did the twenty minute walking early in the day, before the rain threatened and before my day took me on other paths. I enjoyed the walk. I paused to get a picture of a lonely red leaf that caught my attention, stuck between a tree and a fence post. A sure sign of fall. Subtle changes of color can be seen in some trees but middle TN is mostly green at this point.

Halloween Decor marks one of neighbor’s yards.

A bright idea! Back home I fixed scrambled eggs using frozen onions, and three types of bell peppers. I’m not sure why I never considered this before. But while watching Traveling Robert on YouTube when he fixes his “one pot meals” he often will put either frozen veggies in things or frozen onions and bell peppers. Duhhhh why didn’t I think of that. So I bought some this past week and it was great in the eggs. I let the onions and bell peppers sauté a while in olive oil before adding the eggs so they would cook some of the water out and not be frumpy but closer to caramelized.

Right away yesterday I worked on the Fall Bucket List. I kept waiting thinking I’d have time to add a few more things. I left space at the bottom for any George had. He added things into January like celebrating my birthday. Which that is ok, b/c likely I will not have time to do the winter bucket list. It’ll probably be “Winter into Spring”. It’s looking like not a lot of free fluff time until Feb or March of 22. (Sonster, dear, don’t get started!)

Getting things done and update on the challenge. I was able to get laundry done yesterday and work on my grocery list as it has a lot of things on there for helping to meet my goals for the KYD55 challenge. I need to go to the store today and I’m looking forward to that. I met all my goals yesterday for the challenge, moving and doing all my 80 movements, including the 1 push up at days end. Surprisingly my arms was slightly stronger but not by much. I’ll keep trying. My right arm is the weakest one and I will have to be careful to do a slow strengthening so I don’t tear the muscle. I hurt it pulling a suitcase while traveling several years ago. But yes, so far success. After two days of the slightest changes with the increased water, getting in greens and fruits, and moving more, it feels good. It just feels good to be able to do this and I’m so glad I ran upon this method of improvement. I feel like God led me to it. It’s not just about weightloss or nutrition but a whole life experience, all encompassing. I’m most impressed with the method or the pillars. The focus of 5 things. I realize now you could make these 5 things ANY THING you wanted it to be. I love the structure of it.

So my breakfast was pretty filling and it was more like brunch as it might have been around 9:30 or 10. So about 1:30 or so I was getting a little hungry. I didn’t want bread or sandwich or a small frozen pizza. The goal is to embrace as much whole food as I can for the 55 day spread and try to develop new habits, find new foods, and new ways of doing things. So this was lunch. A few walnuts, carrots, string cheese and applesauce. Might not have been low carb but most of it was real foods. The applesauce is the no sugar type. The collagen elixir also was included. I have decided not to cut out cheese. But for the most part I’m doing the doctor recommended string cheese. I just don’t think I can give up cheese but I’ve dramatically reduced my intake of it through the years. Some has been added back (shredded cheese) since Mom has been here. I’ll probably not keep it in the fridge after she is gone. I didn’t really miss it honestly.

So I did get a few things done this past week. I will be updating this list today for the new list and giving a week’s outlook for what all is coming next week b/c ya’ll like watching a 58 year old woman squirm and wrestle with her schedule and her life right? lol I keep saying I’m 59 but that’s not til January. I guess I feel every year of that and then some, lol.

Afternoon out with friends. Last night we went to Catch 22 and sat outside with about 10 other friends. It was great to get to see them. Great to have laughter again. And we enjoyed it so much. I followed my rules perfectly. I had two beers but only if I had a glass of water in between. We were there for 3 hours! I had some wing appetizers and that is whole, lol. I did a two bites of a reuben egg roll which was out of this world. Two bites was ok. They were mini sized and sliced in half. And I ordered a salad. I don’t have any rules on the dressings but plan to generally stick to vinaigrettes during this 55 day period. This one was a mustard vinaigrette – bacon was on it – and that’s ok. I can have bacon! Tomatoes and blue cheese was on it. It was so good. Got my greens in! Got my fruit in! Of course applesauce was my fruit anyway earlier.

Plans today and anticipation of the move. So today I will go to the store and the plan is to go to Cracker Barrel with Mom for car side pick up of lunch. I didn’t really want to be gone all afternoon but I know she needs to get out of the house. It has to be depressing just sitting here all week. I know she is probably tired of us, tired of our ways, not having things set up like she would have it, and she can’t see and we move everything around all the time in the fridge, freezer, and pantry.

She despises Little Bit the cat, as he gets in her way when Fancy goes out. (This week he got sprayed by a skunk – he’s an out side cat- and then rubbed up against Mom on the porch). I hear her constant sighs of frustration. I also hear her “whewing” after any movement at all. She is quiet and depressed it seems. And doesn’t talk to us much anymore. I asked her if there is anything she wanted to do or any places to go or places to eat or take out for the bucket list? She said “no just get me moved into my house”. I said, “wellll – ohhh kay”. The way I took it was that she was “past ready”, lol.

I get it. We also have things we will look forward to after she goes. It’s no offense to anyone on either party. I mean after all, I get my bed back, my chair back, my fridge freezer back, my closet back, 1/2 my office back, my shoe rack back, my jewelry box back, my big chest of drawers back, my TV time back and mine and George’s dinner time shows (we used to eat while watching a show), my bathroom drawer space back, my towel rack back and my robe rack back, my kitchen counter space back, more space in the kitchen back, more room in the fridge back, can do laundry mid week if I wanna, can listen my news briefings from Alexa in the mornings in the bathroom while getting ready and not waking anyone up, or run the vacuum at 2 pm on a Saturday when it’s during her nap time and she’s asleep in the chair. So I get it. I know she is ready to move on and we’ll equally be ready to enjoy having our routines and space back. But we’ve been fine with doing this for her on a temporary basis. We want her to be comfortable and by all means HAPPY.

On her end I can only imagine the inconvenience of living with us. The temps are colder here than she would like and at night George’s movies are really loud on the surround sound forcing her to bed early. George’s finances and computer and office is in her bedroom and often he is in there when she wants to change or get a shower or go to bed or do her church service on line on Sunday’s. Often I’m in the shower when she gets up in the mornings so I know she tries to wait until I leave for the bathroom. She tries so hard to stay out of our way. We can tell. So I know she’ll be glad to let her guard down and do as she pleases. I mean this is a woman that likes to do what she wants when she wants so I’m sure this has been hard.

So I know the days will be minimal here – just a few short and busy weeks to go. We are in the last stretch! Then she will be on her own again and can have fun setting up and unpacking. Since we will have minimal PTO days left after the move – she’ll have plenty to do – one box at a time. We can donate a few hours a week to help her get it set up, run errands, and her groceries and stuff. But I only have two full days to donate to the move or set up then we will be left with weekends during the busiest time of our year. But we will do what we can when we can.

Thinking about the days to come. We may have to get hired help to clean because I won’t have a lot of time to keep up two households and that my friend is a fact of life. I pretty much have issues keeping our own clean. But I will do what I can, when I can, as I can. I just can’t live there once she moves in as we have to work Full Time. But we will do our best to sustain her there as long as she can shower, make meals, and get up and get dressed. She cannot see well enough to see when things are dirty, dusty, crumbs on counter or floor. But I won’t be there to put her clean hand towel out twice a week, throw away trash, clean her toilets, refill her toilet paper- she will have to do those daily things now that she’s had done for her here. She’ll probably miss that hotel vibe, lol. I will only have time to spot clean here and there. I only have time to do that here as it is —really.

As for the driving. It’s her decision but it’s not going to be any different over there than it is over here. Traffic is heavy, busy, and very aggressive. I often have to slam on the breaks because people pull in front of me. And some people tail you. You really have to watch. She often cannot even tell or see me if I’m in the room so how could she see a child on the street or a person on the road? Would she be able to live with herself if she ran over a child in that neighborhood, or someone’s pet? It scares me. But she’s Momma, and you are not going to tell her what to do. So it’s her decision. If she gets out and kills herself or someone else –it’s on her. She can’t read the road signs because she can’t read a menu on the board and her font on the computer is 148 – I’m just kidding. I’m just worried for her that she can’t see well enough to drive and be safe for her or others. Oh well. I guess we’ll see what happens.

Ya’ll have a good Saturday. What ya doing today?

Thirty Years of Marriage: How We Did It So Far

Good morning! At least it is here. Saturday here. Favorite time of the week. George made the coffee as he got up a few minutes before me and surprised me with “Happy Anniversary” greetings. I hadn’t woken up enough to realize it or say it. But today we have been married for 30 years. REPEAT: 30 Years!

Above is the Fall office decor. Just a little bit of “Fall Splash” there and a little bit of a fall theme going on –on the computer. Time is moving on. That is for sure. I think we have some cooler temps coming next week. I need to check. Since my office is 78 to 80 on a 80 to 90 degree day, I wonder what it will be when the weather turns cold? lol. I have a heater and I’ll need it, I think. Right now I have a fan that sits on my desk! I learned if I point the fan downward the coolness bounces up from my desk top and then gently into my face without a bunch of “wind” hitting my right eyeball, LOL! It knocks the pressure down some and gives a gentle coolness. Of all the things we discover in life – that was one I had not anticipated. ha!

Thirty Years of Marriage

So thirty years of marriage. That is quite the number. It doesn’t seem like that long. What attracted me to George was his love of family, his similar belief in God, his ability to sit and listen to me, his ability to have long, deep, and interesting conversations with me, his open candor, his playful candor, his sense of humor, and it made me feel good that his background was somewhat similar to my own.

I am not really qualified to give marital advice, in my book anyway, but I CAN NOW say that we have been married for 30 years and feel like that counts for something! However, with both of us having had failed marriages before — you never really get over those deep inside and you always feel like a failure, regardless of your successes. All I can say is that I truly have made decisions in my life that I always felt were the best for me at the time. And maybe they were. There were a few things I would go back and change if I could – those points in the road where you go hmmmmm which way? But I chose a familiar path instead of taking the new road. Could that have changed my entire life. Yeah it would have most likely. But then I’d have never met George and wouldn’t have my Katebug or my River so….I’m glad my life has gone as it has.

So while I feel I’m not qualified to give marital advice, I will say what I feel has kept us together for 30 years. There have been about three or four or five really really rough patches that were very heart wrenching times and for various reasons. Each one plugged away at us and took a lot out of us. I’m not really sure we totally recovered from them either. But for the most part enough resolved. These are not necessarily in order of importance but what springs to mind as I type:

  1. Deciding to stick together as we are better together than apart
  2. Learning not to push each other’s buttons
  3. Deciding not to keep a record of wrongs
  4. Putting yourself in the others shoes
  5. Genuinely just loving and caring for one another as a part of your pack
  6. Spending quality time together – doing what we love to do
  7. Getting some individual time and trusting the other with his/her time
  8. Not being controlling (this is hard as I like to control everything, lol)
  9. Letting go of a few things that are just not worth the burden of carrying (Forgiveness)
  10. Helping one another with anything/everything
  11. Planning things together and working on projects together
  12. Working on your home, nest, property together
  13. Shopping together
  14. Planning and taking trips together
  15. Taking simple excursions together
  16. COMMUNICATION if we are too mad to talk, we email. But also keeping each other in the loop. Saying the right things and avoiding the wrong things. Even periods of silence can be communication if it means keeping the peace until communication can happen. Notice I keep typing here as this is key! So much so I’ll make another point with it’s own number!
  17. Letting the other speak! We both have the desire to hog the communication lines to get our opinions out and at times neither of us would let the other have a say.
  18. Know each other’s “Love Language”. I think I’m a combo person. Words of affirmation, physical touch (hug and kiss), and quality time – I’m not sure which is the emergent one – probably quality time as without that I would be very lost and feel unloved. I also like my individual time though, lol. Hugs are important to me so I like to give them to others as an act of love and to feel love and care in return. I like to praise when it’s due and get praise so it’s hard to say but nothing says I love you and care for you more than spending time with you. I think George’s is Act of Service and Quality Time. He is always doing things for me like fixing me a glass of wine, buying things I like at the grocery, fixing me dinner, and doing things to make my day easier. Yeah this one is big too I think. I wrote a lot here!
  19. Check in on each other during the day or when we are apart says “you are my love and I’m concerned of your well being”. (But not checking up every minute – that is annoying and says “I am not sure I trust you”.)
  20. Trust – my motto is “trust until you are given reason or suspicion not to” — then we have a problem to work through.

Ok there are the top twenty that popped into my mind. Please suggest more if you have any in your head that works for you?

Other thoughts on Marriage

It’s hard at times. So hard. But it’s rewarding and promising too. There are always areas of improvement. Our own agendas, our selfish ways, the ways we each learned to deal with situations growing up – like how we were raised to respond to things that went wrong by watching our parents and how they responded (Your kids are watching and will follow your lead! Do you shout at your partner? They will too!), and all of these outside forces that come into play make a huge difference!

The devil tries hard to throw curve balls and destroy, to break trust, to make you panic, to do anything to try and make you insecure or fearful. Stand in his face and just say “Not today Satan!” And trust in God’s word to know that He is watching over you. So if George walked out on me tomorrow or died on me tomorrow I’d be devastated. But I have to trust that God would take care of me. This is my main security! I have a tendency to feel really insecure at times, even though I have a very strong persona within me. I can take a bottom of the barrel situation and be resilient and rise up from it. I know that about me now at this age. And that gives me great comfort. I also have a plan B in the back of my head if life deserts me and I will go and put that into action if all’s left is just me against the world. That gives a source of security to me too. But I prefer my life as is – being married, doing things together. But if I wasn’t, I have this plan B. Most of you know what that is! lol

Everyone needs a Penguin Badge. The “Penguin Badge”! I got a penguin badge – learning to ice skate – when I needed an individual project to concentrate on early in my marriage to George. Having a bit of individual time to concentrate on a goal made me feel secure that I was still me and doing my own thing and not giving up who I was totally as an individual. I had put too much time and effort in my relationships up to that point in my life and I felt I needed to connect back to myself. The other point here is to always have something in your back pocket – a hobby, to do list, projects, dreams, books, activities, shopping! When insecurity comes, when bad days come, when you feel unloved, forgotten, not important – you get the picture – you are not just left on the sidewalk to melt and or pine for what you thought life would be but isn’t at that moment. It’s just another way to “roll with the flow”, something to keep your attention, something to make you feel like you are you again, not lost, until the moment passes!

Improvements Needed in Marriage

There are some things I wish would improve in our marriage.

  • Communication could always improve
  • Hugs – could always use more of those at the beginning of the day for a send off and end of day for a release and sigh!
  • Return of my texts. Often they sit out there with no response. (Insert WTH emoji here!). He’s just not a big text-er in return. Not in the way of “ok’s, got it, etc.” Only when totally necessary, if he even seeeeeeees it – but often if I’m away he’ll text and say how’s it going? I like that.
  • More specific retirement planning. We didn’t already plan it so now it’s being planned for us ::sigh::
  • Deeper understanding of a few things – a few missing puzzle pieces
  • An unspoken thing that has always bothered me but won’t be resolved by me nor spoken by me ever!

Wow, I guess that is about it as far as improvement. Ha. We always have room for improvement. Both of us can improve. I’m often selfish and I will tell ya, I get it honestly. lol I’m always trying to do my agenda, my goals, my, my my! Maybe that is where the phrase “my, my, my” come from while someone shakes their head. I could always improve by being less selfish. I try not to be. But sometimes we have to look out for ourselves, our heads, our psyches – especially if it is a fragile as mine is. I have to develop a tough shell in life to get by. Still it touches me deeply at times. Part of the protection of one’s psyche is maintained by being selfish and protecting it and developing it and nourishing it. Because no one in this day and age will look out for you and care for you like yourself, and God, and then a good partner to pitch in if you are lucky to have one. I do feel lucky. I’m glad to be married to George, my kind Hubster. It’s not always easy. But it usually is. But I’m also glad to maintain the integrity of myself as an individual. I just think that is so important. I am one with him but the two parts make the whole! And we are bigger and better together and can accomplish great things when we choose to do them and plan forward and do things together.

So that is my take on the marriage front. At least regarding mine. I will take any thoughts you have on marriage? Sharing is caring. Usually. lol

So we are off to a couple of special places today. We have flood watches out —again. It was horribly storming and raining the day we got married. Afterward the sun was shining so big. Our future was bright.

Meanwhile in Texas

Prayers for River and his cough with croup! His meds are over but he’s still coughing a not so good sounding cough. The doc said it would take a couple of weeks. He’s some better. I guess there’s questions in our heads as to if she should call the doc or wait. I suggested she just place a call – as they are on hot line on the weekend and will call back. Someone is always on call for advice. So maybe they could call in some more meds for her or something. Please pray. He’s still so little and lungs can fill so fast. So I worry about him. I’m so thankful she face times us. He is saying “Da Da Da” and we think “goo gah” for “Google” his day care teacher. I discovered that he is mesmerized if I sing. He will stare and listen. So I need to learn some songs to sing! It made us all laugh yesterday at how intent he was. We have a blast on FaceTime. We make animal noises and bark and howl. Katy says she wishes she had that on video! Here’s my Little Roo. You see where that comes from right? He’s a little Buckaroo – which is their sports team locally! The Buckaroo’s! I just love him so much. Miss him and want to squeeze him and love on him. But so thankful for our Facebook time to watch him eat, play, learn to feed himself, hold things, say things, smile at us, watching him learn, how he acts, responds, doing his Johnny jump up, learning to crawl. WE love every minute.

The Weekend

Anniversarying, Police Report filing, cleaning, laundry, grocerying, keeping Mom happy, and whatever else we can get into! Ahhhh yes! Love my weekends!

Norm’s Amish Market and Snow White Drive In / Mount Juliet and Lebanon, TN Area

Our day was mighty fine yesterday. It did ALL of our souls good to get out and do a few things other than work and home, chores, and to do lists. Our first order of business was to stop at Norm’s, a local roadside market with mostly Amish goods from Scottsville, KY. We used to go every year but it’s a little far for us now. So it’s nice to see this place, although pricier since its the middle man. I loved the photo opportunity and these Mum’s will be in full bloom soon.

Don’t pick up the peaches! See the sign?

You know how we love to go in and “pick our produce”, smell it, feel it, inspect it, thump it – lol, well we live in a different world with the “dreaded illness” out there so….you have to approach your roadside stand with a bit of mystery. So far there were no rotten veggies in the bottom of the basket, but we’d never know til we got home. Ha! I did touch a zucchini and George quickly scaled me and pointed me to this sign below.

Of course I laughed imagining me asking the clerk, “hey could you lift this to my nose please?” My guess is they would answer your questions and sell it to you. And we spent some money in there buying jams, pies (Mom) and squash, and zucchini, sweet potatoes, and tomatoes.

There was something about these boxes that made me want to take a pic. I suppose it’s because it strikes a memory of seeing them out on the Amish farms and in the little stores there in Scottsville, KY. There were 8 or 9 stops on the Amish market routes and we would visit each one. I remember trying not to go wild at each market b/c we wanted to buy something from each one. Soon we had come to learn which markets had which veggies that were the best of the best! While they all had a bit of everything usually, one had more pumpkins, one had more baked goods, one had the best variety of beans and jams, one had better tomatoes and so forth. I treasure these memories now. It was a Saturday we all looked forward to. But we have different excursions now, although less frequent these days, and I am ok with our excursions.

An Old Fashioned Drive in Diner at Snow White Drive In

Oh we really enjoyed ourselves here. What I unfortunately did not get a pic of as too many people would have been in the photo, was to get a pic of the picnic tables outside under the awnings on the let side of the building. There were some in front too and I didn’t see if there were any on the other side. But you could also eat in your car. We were lucky and got a picnic table away from others and in the back side where there was a field and a nice breeze coming through. At low 80’s in the shade and breeze, not much humidity, it was perfect!

They have been known to have excellent BBQ but they had all sorts of things that you would expect an old fashioned diner to have. All kinds of sandwiches, burgers, fries and onion rings, salads, ice cream, and even breakfast!

We also headed out to see Mom’s house and to go to a few shops in Lebanon. We didn’t want to tire Mom out too much. George and I would have parked and shopped all day in Lebanon, lol. We just hit about 3 or 4 and then headed back home. We stopped at Aldi on the way also.

I have decided to wait and share more of the pictures during the week as it gives me something to post. So you can look forward to seeing a few things from the shops in Lebanon, TN this week.

But I do want to say again how much it helped all of us yesterday to just get out there some and see what all we could get into. We sort of had a few plans but the Amish market was a surprise stop and one of the best. So GET OUT and just GO and see what all you can get into when life just feels like it needs a splash of something different.

George and I are doing a filming video today of what all is in our freezer! We’ve been talking about it for weeks. So I need to try and do something with my hair and makeup and lighting. I ordered that RING LIGHT finally, to give more lighting. We are going to film it from two angles – using my iPhone and the camera. This should be interesting. Because we keep adding things to the top of the freezer but we have not been to the bottom in ages.

So I need to go stage this and myself! I’ve not even opened the Amazon box the RING LIGHT came in. It might be something else entirely, lol.

Later today we are going out with BIL and SIL to a brewery, out to eat, and to see their new place. Excited to spend time with them.

Meanwhile in Texas

We faced time with Little Roo yesterday. He’s so “almost there” with the crawling. But not yet. He is just turning circles on the carpet. He’s loving to eat too. We watched him eat on FaceTime too. We have spent some good time on face time and I’m so appreciative of my daughter doing this for us. It’s almost like we are there, not quite but better than nothing. Special times. We just stop what we are doing and watch. The best thing is when he looks at the phone and smiles at us. Nothing makes us SMILE so big as to when he sees us and smiles. What a joy!

What are you up to this fine Sunday?