Does God Think I’m Bossy?

God, Grace, Gratitude, and a bit of Whimsy

Good morning! I thought I’d pop in and give a quick update on the diverticulitis situation and a few blessings from yesterday!

I drank mostly liquids all day including coffee, water, hydrate from the system I use, and bone broth infused with ginger and turmeric (it came that way). I sucked on a square piece of dark 70% chocolate. I had one cup of applesauce, and about a cup and a half of black cherry jello. Not a big cherry fan, but it sounded better than lemon or lime that was in the cabinet. The black cherry wasn’t too bad. It honestly felt like a “cleanse day”. My heart rate was really low overnight, like 55. Is that low? It is for me anyway. It did that on cleanse day too when I did those, in the overnight.

So am I better by giving my tummy a day’s rest? Yes and No.

I know there is not a total blockage so that is good. And a BIG GOOD! But I did have some pain in the night, particularly when changing positions. So there is an aggravated section of colon in there. But I am not sore this morning when I move and bend, no pressure building, and no discomfort this morning, and haven’t had pain since 3 a.m. That is not a long time though for the pain. But so far so good this morning. I think another day of letting it rest or at least by eating soft foods and mostly liquids again will be a good thing. I think I’ll be able to squeak past this one. Thank the LORD!

I certainly have prayed over it many times. I must say that I felt good yesterday while doing this liquid thing. I was thinking, this is NOT bad. I can do this. I’ve done this many Monday’s doing my system in the past. I kept myself busy, I was able to think clearly, and my body was saying “thank you for the break”. It wasn’t that hard yesterday. Some intermittent fasting days I did in the past had been very hard. Most of them were not, but it’s the hard ones that break you in many ways!

Does God Think I’m Bossing Him Around?

However, all in all, I think I will be better now. Maybe God knew what He was doing by allowing this flare up as it showed me again I can DO the fasting w/o having a sugar issue. At first I was mad at Him. I was trying not to be. It was more like disappointment that God didn’t answer a prayer and allowed me to have this attack. I had prayed and wanted weight loss but NOT at the expensive of being sick or with diverticulitis to get there. And I was wondering why He was forsaking me or turning His head from me in this request. Then I was thinking that maybe He thought I requested too much in my prayers and needed to show me He wasn’t going to just answer every little thing I asked for because I asked for it. Does God think I’m bossing Him around? Maybe I am trying to subconsciously but I don’t mean to, or do I? Oh dear!

Then I began analyzing if I was selfish in my prayers or too bothersome or did I expect too much for selfishness sake. Then I finally decided that my mind was tired of trying to figure God out in this situation. I certainly can’t always figure out myself, much less try and put tabs on God and why he would not answer my prayer. I gave up and told Him “Sorry God I’m really not trying to play mind games here. Really not. Sorry for questioning you. I’m trying to believe that you will answer my prayers as you always do like you said you would in scripture, so when you don’t I tend to question it? I really KNOW you are in charge “.

God is a man according to scripture (use of He pronouns anyway and He’s referred to as a Father). You see where I’m going with this? Men often think women are bossy, in my experience, sadly, and often they don’t want us to have our way so they can show us who is in charge. I hope your experience with men has been different. Not every man is like that but I know many of them. I hope God doesn’t think I’m bossy by my many requests. But has my belief become expectatory? Is that a word?

Women – we just have special talents is all! Just as the men folk do. We see things in a different way! We are skillful but we are also manipulative – oh let’s use the word creative- it sounds better. We usually don’t mean to use this craftiness in a bad way – it’s just an inherited God given skill. So just in case, I’m trying to be humble in my request and approach so I’m reverent and not demanding or expecting God to wait on me in my every whim. I wondered if I was trying to make God accountable by HIs Word. After all, He said…. If I believe, just ask…he’ll give.

Sometimes I just like to go to sleep and quit thinking, you know? LOL. As I laid there, I think I told God that I was just tired and I hoped He knew my heart. And I knew I thought too much, but wanted to be RIGHT with him and not demanding. I can tell he smiled upon my efforts. He gave me peace and let me sleep. And today is a new day.

He did give a few blessings from yesterday:

  • I still felt great even though I couldn’t really eat much
  • I still enjoyed the coffee and it was oh so good!
  • The day went by fast
  • It was a beautiful day with a beautiful sky
  • I enjoyed conversations had with coworkers: about my grandson, about the Covid Shots, etc
  • Our health insurance is changing for the better
  • We got a new benefit – flex spending
  • We met our new next door neighbors and hit it off straight away
  • I got two Easter cards in the mail (Thank you Terre! And Lisa!)
  • Got to talk to a bestie and got invited to her birthday party in June. Haven’t seen her in over a year!
  • Finally made a decision on the Covid Shot (maybe a blog entry on that later)
  • Enjoyed watching a couple of YouTube shows under a cozy quilt last night
  • Watched Designated Survivor episode (our new Netflix show) with George
  • Sleep was welcome and divine for most of the night

So as stated today is a new day. I’ve said my prayer (prayer journal) and read my two chapters. And it’s payroll day. I will keep on with the liquids until my body says eat. It will let me know.

Hope you all have a good day! Keep the prayers coming in case I get over analytical about my own! LOL. Thank God for his Grace and Mercy over one such as me!

Iced-In, Prayer Request, and Shopping Treasures

Yesterday we had an unexpected blip of moisture to come up from the south and slide over us. It was very light but as I was about to leave to head into work alerts came over that there were wrecks on our local main road and all along I-40 and for us to remain off roads if we could. So I was unable to go into work. However, my boss who was going in to help me, was coming from a part of town that did not have icy roads. She was able to make it in. I did the payroll from home and she caught the printouts on the other side. We tag-teamed it and got all four plants payrolls done, knowing that we’d likely not be able to come in much of this week due to the roads with double, back to back snow storms. My hope is that we get a break in the middle to go in and get some things done, but it doesn’t look to be that way.

Since I worked a very long day yesterday doing payroll (while everyone else enjoyed their Valentines day, lol) and we were gone Saturday, I’ll have to get some personal things done today. I am working on laundry for starters and for the rest, mainly just trying to organize my world to be functional, which I have to do on the weekends and I did not get that this weekend. So I’m trying to catch up.

Meanwhile on the ranch – I just got a text message that Katy and Cody’s power has been off since 5:30 a.m. and it’s 60 in the house and ZERO outside with wind chill well below zero. Cody is trying to devise a plan for them. So please keep them in your prayers. We are waiting to hear of their solution. And there is not much we can do being so far away but to ask people to pray and have a prayer chain going. So I’m asking you all to stop now and pray a special prayer on their behalf. Thank you!

So while I was supposed to go to work yesterday, George was going to the store to get a steak to go with our swordfish last night and he was going to get me some flowers for Valentine’s Day. So he brought me these instead.

You can imagine my confusion when he set these two flours down and said I was going to get your flowers but these will have to do. LOL LOL LOL

Little Bit came in and slept yesterday for a long while, while I did payroll nearby. He often sat at my feet under the desk where the vent was. He is a sweet cat. Well, most of the time. He looks uncomfortable here. He decided to stretch at the exact time I took the photo. lol

So I had promised pics of my little shopping spree on our Valentine’s excursion on Saturday. Here ya go.

Ooops the one on the left turned itself over. It’s a handwash soap. And this was only $3.99! I bought it to put k-cups in of course. We keep a rack full and I have another basket of them but it’s long. This one is upright and you can see what it inside.

I also bought a crab pillow for the bed here or for the chair in the corner (once I no longer have a desk there). The pillow was $7.99 and now I can mark off “navy nautical pillow” from my list. This pasta seemed pretty fresh, was angel hair, and some of it made from veggies, so I bought it. We are having spaghetti later in the week. However, I think we have about 3 or 4 packs of spaghetti anyway. But it’ll all be eaten I have a feeling. I often mix and match pastas. Do you do that?

I started using cleansing wipes at night to wash my face instead of running a lot of water and using regular soap and getting water all over the place and my arms and elbows wet (LOL). This had been the practice for years. I think the running of water drove George crazy as we had an argument about it once. But I had to get my face wet and washed off and you had to let the water run til it got hot. I went on a trip to Oregon for work and the hotel had wipes for you. I tried one and loved it. My face still felt fresh. Although I did not want to spend the money on the brand the hotel had provided, I found a knock off version thru Target. I love it and it gets all the make up off just fine. I’ve not had any problems or breakouts using them. The Dollar Tree also has a fairly good kind but at TJ Maxx they had these – 4 packs for $4.99 – a variety pack. I’ve bought some there before but was not quite as good of a bargain. So I’ll see what these are like. I don’t remember what kind the hotel’s was in Oregon but it came in individual little blue packs. They will always be my favorite. But Target’s comes in second so far. The Dollar Tree version is good but it’s just a smaller one and hard to use. I use one a day so this will last 4 months.

I also bought a couple of well made tops. TJ Maxx often has really good brands at a discount. The Grateful sweatshirt is a lightweight sweatshirt which is great for 3 months of the year. I’ve been short on lightweight sweatshirt tops and have tried to buy a few here and there. I really needed more casual clothes this year and especially with my transfer into payroll. Of course I would not wear a sweatshirt with writing to work Monday thru Thursday but Friday’s are fine. I WOULD wear a non-word sweatshirt now days (and have). I try to dress it up with a woolen looking scarf and earrings. Of course during the days of mask wearing and social distancing – my days of trying to look good in the presence of others are pretty much over. We are distanced and can hardly recognize each other’s faces due to the mask wearing so what is the point. I rarely even wear eye make up anymore.

Here is our swordfish and steak dinner along with noodles and potatoes. I think we are out of greens. I often have to push the greens around here. We eat way too many starches which is why I’m always borderline diabetic. It’s my fault too as I love starchy foods.

Ok I’m going to get off of here. I will be working some today but, I will also be getting things done I would have done on my Sunday if I had not been working. Then the rest of the week I’ll dive in for full 8 hour + days. As for now my work is done already done through Tuesday. The rest of the work week will bring its challenges for sure if we cannot be there but we’ll figure it out as we go I guess. Limited capabilities from home.

George is fixing avacado toast and eggs for breakfast. The problem is….I’ve just had cereal and a banana. Oh well. I guess lunch will be skipped if I have two breakfasts? Ok on to get a few things done!

We have 2 to 4 inches of snow coming b/w now and 6 in the morning! Then another snow storm quickly to follow after that. Will we ever climb out of this winter tundra? How is the weather impacting your world today? Prayers for all of you and prayers for my Katy and Cody and River!

Take care ya’ll. Keep warm and be safe!

Dear Lord

Photo by eberhard grossgasteiger on

Dear Lord,

Help me not to bite anyone’s head off today after not getting much sleep last night due to Roger’s needing to get up and down out of bed, and neither of us not getting much sleep. Even when he is sleeping sound, I am now waking up for no reason from dreaming that he needs up or down out of bed and attended to.

Thank you for helping me to be calm when I stepped in his sh#@ this morning in the dark and spread it all over the carpet, while I was already aghast and mad at the lack of sleep. And for George who patiently cleaned it up while I showered and got the crud off my feet.

Thank you for the hot coffee to wake me up. And the essential oils in my shower to lighten my mood. And for my chair corner to read about loving others in John I and II while I’m ready to scream bloody murder through the neighborhood for my rude awakening this morning.

Thank you for my patience that we do not have pet friendly floors yet even though soon we will not have any pets any longer. And hopefully we will not have carpet any longer. Thank you also on that note for giving me patience with my husband that we still have blue linoleum since 2008 when we moved in and I said it was one of the first things I wanted to change in this house. Continue to give me patience with our outdated kitchen with it’s new microwave that has to be begged to work, with the nasty and broken stoves that make me not even want to be in the kitchen anymore, and the ugly outdated plastic countertops – or whatever they are made of. I promise to cook again and more often, if it gets updated.

I know somewhere in my heart I need to be grateful this morning. And I’m trying. But right now I’m crying out over a lack of sleep, lowered morale from life’s sh#@ which sheds light and brings to the surface all the other things in life I’m irritated with. I mean if one steps in sh#@ before coffee in the morning it seems to give license to moan and groan at least for a minute?

Thank you for being the father you are and for being patient with me for venting first instead of glorifying you and praising you first. I know you understand my human powers are not as perfectly ordered as yours. Thanks for being our refuge, our Daddy, that we can run and sit on your knees and pour our hearts out, with sh#@tty feet, clean feet, ugly feet, ugly kitchens, blue kitchens, shaggy carpet, and with dreams about wooden floors, RV’s, retirement, and most of all SLEEP. I know you take requests. I’m praying for all that by the way. Send your angels to guard me today. I’m going to need it. Can you send the archangel Michael? He seems nice. Does he look like John Travolta? Just kidding. I know that wasn’t nice. I can’t see him anyway. But for a morale booster on a sh#@ ladened day, it is a fun thought. Sorry! Forgive me several times I know I need it. I promise my attitude will get better. But keep me from the pitfalls – I mean sh#@falls of life!

In Jesus Name,