His Mercies are New Every Morning, but Not Necessarily is Anyone Else’s! LOL

A coworker gave me this book, and I had rearranged my office early in the year and created a prayer journal. On the first page I gave myself “guidance” at what should be written within the pages. Since then I have written in it every day and late in the week last week, I wrote on the last page. At the end of the book I had written back in January, a reminder to read glance back through and SEE what all the LORD had answered.

That said, I “thought” we had the issue of “church” resolved, but I should have known better. The week before we were a minute late so I didn’t want us to be late this week since it takes us all 10 minutes to gather things, lock up, get in the car and actually pull out the drive so I said “let’s leave at 8:05 instead of 8:15”. So we did. We had 8 minutes to spare as we crawled into the pew. I was pleased we did so well.

About then Mom said “Do I hear music?” I tried to figure out what she was talking about and faintly you could hear some calm and soothing music before the worship service started. I said “yes”. She said it had instruments in it and that wasn’t right. Then I realized what she was doing. I leaned over and said “I am trying so hard to please you. If you don’t like this church then PICK ANOTHER ONE! And good luck with that because you are not going to like any of them as they won’t be perfect.” She retorted that she had raised me better than that to accept music in the worship building. I told her I didn’t limit my worship of God to the church building like she did. And that because of that if I lived by “her rules” I would have to be forced to listening to AC/DC’s Highway to Hell going down the road instead of listening to a Christian station that would encourage my soul, so I don’t just expel music with instruments just because it contains a Godly message or has instruments. What good does that do a person to just delete music from your life when you believe in worshipping God all week long and not just on Sunday. She said she wished she had just stayed at home and not moved up here. Which was a verbal slap to my face after all we have done to get her here.

Worship service started at that point and she said she didn’t want to go to a liberal church and then I said “then pick another one!!!!” and she began talking to the air with her fists balled up – words that were meant for me that she couldn’t say out loud, I’m sure. And then she lowered her head began crying. I looked around and saw George was like “what in the heck?” and others were looking.

I filled George in on what was going on and he said “well do we need to leave now?” I said “ABSOLUTELY NOT”. I got up early, showered, dressed to come in to worship and I was bot going to let her ruin worship for us. She sat the service with crossed arms and didn’t sing. She can let Satan get in the way of her worship if she needs to but I was not letting him get in the way of mine. I also stayed for Sunday school. For the record. There was no instrumental music in the worship service. I’m sure all of these people, including my mother don’t turn off the radio when God is mentioned in a song that has instruments outside of the service. I understand where she is coming from the but logic does not make sense to me. God’s point is that he wants us to focus on Him with our hearts. With her being this way it was taking our focus off of Him and onto the music. She was making the exact issue she was trying to avoid. And I can assure you this was NOT pleasing to our Lord, this exchange at the time we should be focusing on Him. So try that thought on for size.

We came home and she holed up in her room all afternoon and came out before dinner.

I’m over the church drama. She needs to 1) either pick a church or 2) shut up and eave mine alone. The ball has been in her court THE ENTIRE TIME. She HOLDS THE CHURCH CARD. She just needs to tell me what she wants or where she wants to go. She can have her way if she wants it. Just PICK ONE ALREADY or HUSH UP!

If she were not 76 I would think she was a teenager! I’m mean wooooosh! I am worn out over this issue. I am now VERY angry in my heart at the scene of yesterday. I mean really. Does there always have to be drama. I can write about this b/c it was a public event folks – this is not taking place in the comfort of home but a public place. If you had been there you could have seen and heard it – especially if you are on a pew around us. I’m almost embarrassed to go back now. But at least everyone can see what I have to deal with and what kind of life I have had. My opinions and thoughts have not been allowed to be my own. And I’m just wrong if my opinion does not agree with hers.

And that is why I am the way that I am. If you think I’m stubborn? There is a reason we come from the Mule capital of the world. And it was appropriate that I drank from my Mule town mug yesterday. Although I didn’t know it at the time when I picked it out to have my coffee. Maybe I should find some fruits of the spirit coffee cups. We seem to be missing those around these parts!

George, bless his heart, aside from God and His comforter that He sends, is my rock through all of this. He grounds me, comforts me, and gives me guidance. Both of them. Otherwise we had freaking yelling matches when we got home. I was yelled at and heard the yelling enough as a child growing up. I will not put up with it in my home. But I will defend myself and yell back to get my point heard. I couldn’t do that back then or I’d get smacked. My opinion never mattered. But I’m 58 now and my opinion does matter. And in this case, I’ve offered to take here where she wants and so she just needs to either pick a place or leave me alone about this one. Cut the drama before I cut the cord like my sister did. She completely drew her boundary away from Mom. I believe in honoring your parents. So I’m trying to do God’s will and honor my mother. She has the card in her hand and just needs to use it instead of creating the church issue every Sunday. Well to be fair 2 of the 3 Sunday’s have had drama.

Looking back after I’ve slept on it, Sunday’s were not a lot much better growing up. If ever a day there was going to be drama or anger or bitterness, it was ON SUNDAY. I don’t know why. I just remember dreading every Sunday. It was hectic getting ready and getting out of the house. Everyone got ready at once. We had one bathroom. Everyone would be mad when we got in the car. Well Mom would, I would, and my sister would. Dad, bless his heart would go get donuts, biscuits and do his best to lighten the mood. He was always so quiet in spirit. I guess that is why they got together, Mom could do the talking for him. She likes to be in control, lol.

Then Dad would take us out to eat for lunch so everyone would be in a good mood going home. To restate my point here. I loved going to church as a child. I enjoyed it and learned a lot. I worshipped my Lord, was baptized at the church. But there was always drama going to it and coming back from it. Mom was always in a hurry to get away from it and didn’t always like to hang around after and fellowship. She liked to go straight to the car. That is another issue we are having as well. She is ready to dart out the door and well, we could have done on line service if we were not going to fellowship. So Mom is having to grab a chair and wait. She has made comments to let me know that is not acceptable to her, like “we thought we were going to have to send out an army to find you”. I had been gone less than 10 minutes talking to friends I had not seen in a year and a half.

So this is my world. There is no use hiding it. It just is what it is. I have always said if you don’t like what you see about yourself on the blog, then change your ways. This is what happened to me yesterday. So I’m writing about it. It shouldn’t have happened but it did.

So George fixed a wonderful rib dinner.

Here’s what’s on the menu board this week.

Here is the beans from the bean soup we’ll be having later in the week. The cherry tomatoes are some that George grew. The deer have found the bush though now. Sadly.

There was corn cakes with our meal last night! Slathered some butter right on it. George had some kind of relish he put on the beans but warned us it was hot!

He made a really good homemade slaw. My plate below!

My tummy is better now that I had a DAY of letting my tummy digest. It worked. I will also not eat a lot during the day time the next few days.

Ahhhhh…..well several of you enjoyed the video I released yesterday. It was not the best of the best, but then again it was winter and we didn’t have much to share other than the snow and our little Valentine’s excursion. I will begin working on the next one in a week or so but I want to stop and work on some files from my phone and camera since May 1. I want to also work on my office a bit – need to dust and do some filing of personal documents and such. I also may have to stop and get ready for them to come and do the flooring. I don’t want to start on that until I know when they are coming in case they can’t get materials or have to schedule it out. I will wait as late as I can before putting things up (Nic Nacs and things we use often that is on furniture). I don’t want to be inconvenienced for weeks!

Here’s what on the schedule this week.

  1. Mom’s Birthday on Tuesday – She doesn’t like us very much right now as we are heathens and she wishes she hadn’t come to stay with us as she has said, so she may not want to spend it with us, lol, but we are all she has right now – so we’ll take her out to eat.
  2. George works from home Tuesday and is going to set up the flooring – doing the finance option of so many months same as cash and will set up the timing for them to come. And we’ll know more then anyway.
  3. Wed morning at 6 a.m. I have a physical. I made it early to not miss much work.
  4. I will take her for her hair appt on Wed after work.
  5. Thursday after work, we are doing trivia with the neighbors.
  6. If we don’t have anything planned Saturday, I’m calling it to go find a some more jean capris. I need more casual pants. And I will do some sale shopping. I’m calling it. I need some time away before I go bezerk and just run away for good! lol
  7. Then next Monday a week from today is Mom’s heart appointment at 8:00 a.m. and I’ll be late to work that day. I will have to work extra in the week to make up for that b/c it’s quarter end and I need to NOT get behind with that. Right now I’m about on target I think.
  8. Then we will focus on George’s birthday and my nephew Kadon’s birthday.

Thanks for letting me vent today. I’m just trying so hard to make things right but it doesn’t matter how hard I try it’s NEVER good enough. Others have to do their part too and on the church thing, if the current church is not the fix – then she needs to pick one. Til then we will just keep doing the same thing and pleasing ourselves.

Anyway, Mom’s been told that. So her fate is in her own hands. And has been all along. She has made all of these decisions on her own. We have simply carried them out.

Does God Think I’m Bossy?

God, Grace, Gratitude, and a bit of Whimsy

Good morning! I thought I’d pop in and give a quick update on the diverticulitis situation and a few blessings from yesterday!

I drank mostly liquids all day including coffee, water, hydrate from the system I use, and bone broth infused with ginger and turmeric (it came that way). I sucked on a square piece of dark 70% chocolate. I had one cup of applesauce, and about a cup and a half of black cherry jello. Not a big cherry fan, but it sounded better than lemon or lime that was in the cabinet. The black cherry wasn’t too bad. It honestly felt like a “cleanse day”. My heart rate was really low overnight, like 55. Is that low? It is for me anyway. It did that on cleanse day too when I did those, in the overnight.

So am I better by giving my tummy a day’s rest? Yes and No.

I know there is not a total blockage so that is good. And a BIG GOOD! But I did have some pain in the night, particularly when changing positions. So there is an aggravated section of colon in there. But I am not sore this morning when I move and bend, no pressure building, and no discomfort this morning, and haven’t had pain since 3 a.m. That is not a long time though for the pain. But so far so good this morning. I think another day of letting it rest or at least by eating soft foods and mostly liquids again will be a good thing. I think I’ll be able to squeak past this one. Thank the LORD!

I certainly have prayed over it many times. I must say that I felt good yesterday while doing this liquid thing. I was thinking, this is NOT bad. I can do this. I’ve done this many Monday’s doing my system in the past. I kept myself busy, I was able to think clearly, and my body was saying “thank you for the break”. It wasn’t that hard yesterday. Some intermittent fasting days I did in the past had been very hard. Most of them were not, but it’s the hard ones that break you in many ways!

Does God Think I’m Bossing Him Around?

However, all in all, I think I will be better now. Maybe God knew what He was doing by allowing this flare up as it showed me again I can DO the fasting w/o having a sugar issue. At first I was mad at Him. I was trying not to be. It was more like disappointment that God didn’t answer a prayer and allowed me to have this attack. I had prayed and wanted weight loss but NOT at the expensive of being sick or with diverticulitis to get there. And I was wondering why He was forsaking me or turning His head from me in this request. Then I was thinking that maybe He thought I requested too much in my prayers and needed to show me He wasn’t going to just answer every little thing I asked for because I asked for it. Does God think I’m bossing Him around? Maybe I am trying to subconsciously but I don’t mean to, or do I? Oh dear!

Then I began analyzing if I was selfish in my prayers or too bothersome or did I expect too much for selfishness sake. Then I finally decided that my mind was tired of trying to figure God out in this situation. I certainly can’t always figure out myself, much less try and put tabs on God and why he would not answer my prayer. I gave up and told Him “Sorry God I’m really not trying to play mind games here. Really not. Sorry for questioning you. I’m trying to believe that you will answer my prayers as you always do like you said you would in scripture, so when you don’t I tend to question it? I really KNOW you are in charge “.

God is a man according to scripture (use of He pronouns anyway and He’s referred to as a Father). You see where I’m going with this? Men often think women are bossy, in my experience, sadly, and often they don’t want us to have our way so they can show us who is in charge. I hope your experience with men has been different. Not every man is like that but I know many of them. I hope God doesn’t think I’m bossy by my many requests. But has my belief become expectatory? Is that a word?

Women – we just have special talents is all! Just as the men folk do. We see things in a different way! We are skillful but we are also manipulative – oh let’s use the word creative- it sounds better. We usually don’t mean to use this craftiness in a bad way – it’s just an inherited God given skill. So just in case, I’m trying to be humble in my request and approach so I’m reverent and not demanding or expecting God to wait on me in my every whim. I wondered if I was trying to make God accountable by HIs Word. After all, He said…. If I believe, just ask…he’ll give.

Sometimes I just like to go to sleep and quit thinking, you know? LOL. As I laid there, I think I told God that I was just tired and I hoped He knew my heart. And I knew I thought too much, but wanted to be RIGHT with him and not demanding. I can tell he smiled upon my efforts. He gave me peace and let me sleep. And today is a new day.

He did give a few blessings from yesterday:

  • I still felt great even though I couldn’t really eat much
  • I still enjoyed the coffee and it was oh so good!
  • The day went by fast
  • It was a beautiful day with a beautiful sky
  • I enjoyed conversations had with coworkers: about my grandson, about the Covid Shots, etc
  • Our health insurance is changing for the better
  • We got a new benefit – flex spending
  • We met our new next door neighbors and hit it off straight away
  • I got two Easter cards in the mail (Thank you Terre! And Lisa!)
  • Got to talk to a bestie and got invited to her birthday party in June. Haven’t seen her in over a year!
  • Finally made a decision on the Covid Shot (maybe a blog entry on that later)
  • Enjoyed watching a couple of YouTube shows under a cozy quilt last night
  • Watched Designated Survivor episode (our new Netflix show) with George
  • Sleep was welcome and divine for most of the night

So as stated today is a new day. I’ve said my prayer (prayer journal) and read my two chapters. And it’s payroll day. I will keep on with the liquids until my body says eat. It will let me know.

Hope you all have a good day! Keep the prayers coming in case I get over analytical about my own! LOL. Thank God for his Grace and Mercy over one such as me!

Iced-In, Prayer Request, and Shopping Treasures

Yesterday we had an unexpected blip of moisture to come up from the south and slide over us. It was very light but as I was about to leave to head into work alerts came over that there were wrecks on our local main road and all along I-40 and for us to remain off roads if we could. So I was unable to go into work. However, my boss who was going in to help me, was coming from a part of town that did not have icy roads. She was able to make it in. I did the payroll from home and she caught the printouts on the other side. We tag-teamed it and got all four plants payrolls done, knowing that we’d likely not be able to come in much of this week due to the roads with double, back to back snow storms. My hope is that we get a break in the middle to go in and get some things done, but it doesn’t look to be that way.

Since I worked a very long day yesterday doing payroll (while everyone else enjoyed their Valentines day, lol) and we were gone Saturday, I’ll have to get some personal things done today. I am working on laundry for starters and for the rest, mainly just trying to organize my world to be functional, which I have to do on the weekends and I did not get that this weekend. So I’m trying to catch up.

Meanwhile on the ranch – I just got a text message that Katy and Cody’s power has been off since 5:30 a.m. and it’s 60 in the house and ZERO outside with wind chill well below zero. Cody is trying to devise a plan for them. So please keep them in your prayers. We are waiting to hear of their solution. And there is not much we can do being so far away but to ask people to pray and have a prayer chain going. So I’m asking you all to stop now and pray a special prayer on their behalf. Thank you!

So while I was supposed to go to work yesterday, George was going to the store to get a steak to go with our swordfish last night and he was going to get me some flowers for Valentine’s Day. So he brought me these instead.

You can imagine my confusion when he set these two flours down and said I was going to get your flowers but these will have to do. LOL LOL LOL

Little Bit came in and slept yesterday for a long while, while I did payroll nearby. He often sat at my feet under the desk where the vent was. He is a sweet cat. Well, most of the time. He looks uncomfortable here. He decided to stretch at the exact time I took the photo. lol

So I had promised pics of my little shopping spree on our Valentine’s excursion on Saturday. Here ya go.

Ooops the one on the left turned itself over. It’s a handwash soap. And this was only $3.99! I bought it to put k-cups in of course. We keep a rack full and I have another basket of them but it’s long. This one is upright and you can see what it inside.

I also bought a crab pillow for the bed here or for the chair in the corner (once I no longer have a desk there). The pillow was $7.99 and now I can mark off “navy nautical pillow” from my list. This pasta seemed pretty fresh, was angel hair, and some of it made from veggies, so I bought it. We are having spaghetti later in the week. However, I think we have about 3 or 4 packs of spaghetti anyway. But it’ll all be eaten I have a feeling. I often mix and match pastas. Do you do that?

I started using cleansing wipes at night to wash my face instead of running a lot of water and using regular soap and getting water all over the place and my arms and elbows wet (LOL). This had been the practice for years. I think the running of water drove George crazy as we had an argument about it once. But I had to get my face wet and washed off and you had to let the water run til it got hot. I went on a trip to Oregon for work and the hotel had wipes for you. I tried one and loved it. My face still felt fresh. Although I did not want to spend the money on the brand the hotel had provided, I found a knock off version thru Target. I love it and it gets all the make up off just fine. I’ve not had any problems or breakouts using them. The Dollar Tree also has a fairly good kind but at TJ Maxx they had these – 4 packs for $4.99 – a variety pack. I’ve bought some there before but was not quite as good of a bargain. So I’ll see what these are like. I don’t remember what kind the hotel’s was in Oregon but it came in individual little blue packs. They will always be my favorite. But Target’s comes in second so far. The Dollar Tree version is good but it’s just a smaller one and hard to use. I use one a day so this will last 4 months.

I also bought a couple of well made tops. TJ Maxx often has really good brands at a discount. The Grateful sweatshirt is a lightweight sweatshirt which is great for 3 months of the year. I’ve been short on lightweight sweatshirt tops and have tried to buy a few here and there. I really needed more casual clothes this year and especially with my transfer into payroll. Of course I would not wear a sweatshirt with writing to work Monday thru Thursday but Friday’s are fine. I WOULD wear a non-word sweatshirt now days (and have). I try to dress it up with a woolen looking scarf and earrings. Of course during the days of mask wearing and social distancing – my days of trying to look good in the presence of others are pretty much over. We are distanced and can hardly recognize each other’s faces due to the mask wearing so what is the point. I rarely even wear eye make up anymore.

Here is our swordfish and steak dinner along with noodles and potatoes. I think we are out of greens. I often have to push the greens around here. We eat way too many starches which is why I’m always borderline diabetic. It’s my fault too as I love starchy foods.

Ok I’m going to get off of here. I will be working some today but, I will also be getting things done I would have done on my Sunday if I had not been working. Then the rest of the week I’ll dive in for full 8 hour + days. As for now my work is done already done through Tuesday. The rest of the work week will bring its challenges for sure if we cannot be there but we’ll figure it out as we go I guess. Limited capabilities from home.

George is fixing avacado toast and eggs for breakfast. The problem is….I’ve just had cereal and a banana. Oh well. I guess lunch will be skipped if I have two breakfasts? Ok on to get a few things done!

We have 2 to 4 inches of snow coming b/w now and 6 in the morning! Then another snow storm quickly to follow after that. Will we ever climb out of this winter tundra? How is the weather impacting your world today? Prayers for all of you and prayers for my Katy and Cody and River!

Take care ya’ll. Keep warm and be safe!