Roger is now at Rest

I believe this was the last picture I took of Roger, unless I just missed it in my phone. I did not want to wait til tomorrow to tell you all that after I blogged this morning, I fixed us all a little breakfast of sausage balls and boiled eggs, and during that time Roger was still having some issues – getting stuck in corners and under things and moaning and howling. George couldn’t console him, walked around in the yard with him, and came back in and said “it’s time to go to the vet”. I took a shower real quick. And we went down the street to the one that had taken care of his foot a few weeks ago.

I drove and George held him. He was finally asleep and he seemed lifeless. I pulled into the vet parking lot, tears streaming. George said “let’s sit here and hold him a while before we go in”. While he was in my arms, he seemed lifeless and like he weighed nothing. I told George I thought he was in the process of dying. We waited a few minutes more. I told George we needed to just go in.

I knew George would not be able to speak, so we went in and I told the front desk “we think he’s dying”. And they whisked us back to a room immediately and immediately got the vet. They did bloodwork. It took a while. We put him down and he woke up, wobbled, and went under our legs and under the bench we sat on, finally came out, put his nose into a corner under a ledge and sat down very slowly and went to sleep.

The vet came in and said he thought his kidneys were failing him but there was nothing significant going on in his blood. While he said he likely is not going to get better, he can’t cure his old age or his dementia but he could give him some anxiety meds or meds to suppress him some and make him comfortable and the vet said or you could decide he had lived a good life and choose to let him go but that is up to you. George strongly considered the meds. He asked my opinion. I told him I was worried about when we were not there and I was worried he would hurt himself in odd ways and I hate to put Mom in that position to be having to watch him and she won’t be able to bend over and get him out of his situations while we are at work. And that with George not getting sleep (up 7 or 8 times last night) and we can’t console his howling, no quality really of life with us anymore. It’s really only delaying things to wait. He asked the vet if he said we would let him go would he be saying “you made the right decision” b/c he knew the vet would not recommend we put him down. He said “yes in this case I think you would be making a right decision”. So George said “let’s go ahead then”. Of course it was hard, we cried.

They came in with a soft sedative at first and left the room while we spent the next 2 or 3 minutes as he closed his eyes. Then he came in with the final injection. Roger fought it a little. He took some quick deep breaths and lasted longer than he should have. But finally his breathing shallowed and eventually stopped. We held him a lot during those last few hours and talked with him and told him to tell Maisy and Tugie hello. We told him what a special dog he had been and a unique one. We told him he would be leaping and playing soon. We rubbed his head, his nose, his ears, held his paws, rubbed and pulled on his tail like we always would do. He even had his little tongue out and I ran my fingers over his mouth and touched his tongue. I just felt like I needed to, that tongue that always hung out!

They put him in a box and we brought him home. George dug the grave and we buried him. I texted Katy to tell her as she didn’t answer the phone. We told close friends and neighbors. Our neighbor David came over. It was good to have someone to talk to to make us laugh a bit and bring our spirits up. David and another neighbor came over when we buried Maisy too.

Afterward George had some errands to run – to pick up an amplifier and go to the grocery. I wanted to find some clothes so I went shopping. It wasn’t as joyful of course, but I did feel “free” such a moment of freedom to get to go and do my own thing. It has been sooooo long it seems. So I had some good finds – pants and blouses. I totally forgot to go to the shoe store! I can’t believe it. But I probably did enough damage in one day. So I’ll go to the shoe store on another day.

The crowds out there were very thick today and the lines to pay were as long as Christmas. Just crazy. Dressing rooms were open! I was so happy. I took a bit of video today. But not like I really wanted to. There was a lot of people. I am uncomfortable videoing others.

Anyway just a sad day. It’s harder for George. I loved him too and I’ve cried but there is going to be a hole in his heart for some time. The two bonded and loved each other so much. He had been aloof for a while though but until the last few days, always wanted his Daddy. But George had been unable to console him.

Sleeping after a long drive from Nashville to Hot Springs
Tongue out!
With his sister, in healthier days. Roger really went down after Maisy died.
At Don and Lisa’s – He got to go and we were all so happy of Lisa’s hospitality.
George and his little buddy watching an amazing sunset on the ranch in Breckenridge, TX.
He loved to sit in his Daddy’s lap.

He loved his monkeys! He would loved for George to throw it in his younger years. And he would go retrieve it. He was a special little man. I just loved how he took up with George so immediately. They were the two men of the house. They bonded so well. They hung out always. He loved to sleep with us. He loved Maisy. He went down after Maisy left us. He went down pretty immediately after that. He was never able to rest much, like he was always looking for her. He began his love affair with “water” about that time. He would panic if he could not be near his water. But we had many years with him. He traveled with us wherever we went. He went to Tybee and Savanah. Went to Texas and the ranch. He always got to go to his Nana’s. And Lisa let him hang out at their house. And Katy let him come to the ranch.

He was in diapers the last seven months or so. I guess in the last year or year and a half he got to where he couldn’t jump up to or from the sofa. Then in the last few months did NOT want to be on the sofa at all because he had to be near his water.

I am so tired right now that it’s hard to think straight. I’m trying to recall all the memories. I’m mainly remembering the travels and nights we all snuggled around watching TV. There was the time or two he snuck out the door and someone luckily noticed. He loved to bark at the deer. He did not like to be in cages (that’s how he lost his teeth we think before he came to us).

Little did we all know that when he went to visit Katy in the old college neighborhood, that when he came to them looking for food, and some attention, that he would be coming to live with us the rest of his life. He was not taken care of, no one was missing him, and Katy brought him home to take to the vet and get him checked out until we could find a home. She named him Pumpkin. He was only supposed to spend the weekend. We fell in love with him over that weekend and kept him. We tried to guess his real name one night and we all tossed out dog names then Bible names and then people names. Someone said “Roger” and his head popped up. “Roger” again and it popped up again. I kinda think that his name was really Dodger after baseball. But Roger sounded like it. We went with Roger. Such a cool dog name, huh? So…baseball games would come on and be loud and he would leave the room. I think something must have happened to make him nervous before he came to us as when sports would come on he would leave the room and sneak away. He also did not like the vacuum.

Anyway, we are going to miss our little buddy.

As for me tonight I need to try to do a few chores – laundry mainly. I will work more on the house tomorrow.

I am sad. Tired. But it’s George that will feel the biggest hurts. I loved him too, but he loved that dog more than just about any of us! And that’s a fact! It will be sad and lonely for a long while for both of us. We will come home and he won’t be there waiting.

Seasonal Disorder, Supplements, and Little Roo

Oh my gosh ya’ll. I’m struggling here this week. But I know how to fix it. I’ve been behind on taking the daily multivitamin and I’ve not had a wellness shake in a while which is loaded with goodness. So it’ll take a few days to build myself back up with the added nutrients I need. But every day I’ve been getting worse, going into a lethargy, tiredness, and yes, starting to head into depression or sadness. I have been with myself for 58 years now (good thing eh?, lol, that could be debated on many levels) however, I know the signs. I start to feel tired, put out with life, and then gradually begin to lose interest in doing anything, and I just really want to sleep. Every day this has been getting worse – but just in the last two to three days I realize this needs to be fixed fast. Usually warmer weather, a change in routine, something exciting happening can pull me out of it really quick too.

The vitamins….well, I take blood pressure meds which most of the people in the world my age do, but I take supplements along with that – Vitamin D, Vitamin C, Turmeric, and Grapeseed extract which I’ve been out of for about two weeks (it’s ordered and on the way). And I have a vitamin pack that has a lot of other things in it – through the wellness company I use. They pack a big punch! I’m supposed to take two packs a day, but….when I added some other supplements and we started adding fruits and veggies more into our diet, I backed off to one pack a day which served me well (and a better deal financially) until about the time we came back from Texas. For some reason I would take my supplements but not take time to reach for the little pack of vitamins which are only 4 pills but pack a pretty good punch of most of the daily vitamins that women need. I also take two supplements at night – a probiotic and a product called Isaflush which is mainly magnesium, and I do three squirts of a sleep product. This formula contains melatonin, L-theanine and a proprietary blend of natural herbs and ingredients. Sometimes I take an additional supplement during the day which is wonderful and is good for the gut, called Natural Accelerator and it has cayenne, green tea, cocoa seed, and apple cider vinegar. I should take this more often but when I feel I need extra gut health, I’ll take one of these as an alternate friend on the opposite side of the day from the probiotic.

So by the time I get through with all that, I’m worn out of reaching for supplements. You can see why eh? Not having the multi-vitamin though is bad. So for the next five days to a week, I’m going to try my best to take these packs twice a day as recommended. And then go back down to one. I guess I will need to set a timer or place it in a time that works. I have placed in on both desks – at home and at work – and on my bedside stand and I tend to overlook it and say “later”.

Also during the months where we are closing quarter end, I wave it off because of the time and being busy. And also I don’t eat as well those months. So probably have had fewer greens and definitely fewer fruits. When I get busy I go back into a rut, slowly, without realizing it – of forgetting to eat right and grabbing whatever is available. It’s a cycle that I struggle with. I buy carrots and forget to grab them, but grab the frozen meal from the freezer on the way out the door. One thing that has been helpful though is to keep a stock of applesauce and a can of pineapple and a can of mandarin oranges in the fridge – at home and at work. I try not to drink juice because it seems to have a greater quantity of sugar absorbed all at once by the body.

Missing Maisy Dog

So I’ve been thinking about another dog as I’ve been missing Maisy so much this week now that my mind is slowing down some from our trip and from Christmas and from getting the house back to normal and working on the iMac – basically I’m getting time to miss her again – and I do so much. Her photos pop up and I miss her following me and being by my side and loving me. And now moving into the guest bedroom makes it seem even lonelier – but don’t get me wrong – I’m enjoying and needing my solitude of sleep right now. I just do. And it is not going to be time for a dog for a long time. Well it is, but I think we need a break to be able to do a few things without dogs. We will see how long that lasts!

So it was pretty fitting to see that the calendar said what it did yesterday about the puppy. The Aloha pic above was over the weekend. That was appropriate too because I need some sun! I need some palm trees too. I need some tropical weather. I need a tropical healing.

All I Want to do is SLEEP!

So my last task of year end, besides boxing up 2019 files to make room for 2021 ones, is to get one of our states w-2 reporting done. It’s a big state and even though the plant number of employees is small – I’m thinking 50 or so, the turnover is bad so I’m entering 188 w-2’s for this location. I have all month to do it. I’ll probably get most of it done this week or early next week, depending on how busy it is. I’ve broken it down into sections of twenty at a time. It’s just cumbersome. It’s kinda fun but it is relaxing to just sit and do data entry and so it nearly put me in a coma. I wanted to sleep so bad! I only got 13 done! I entered a few more as I had time yesterday. I had to go get coffee at like 10 a.m. I never get coffee until after 1:30 and sometimes not until before the drive home so I don’t get sleepy. The weather is not helping my cause any here!

I just took a snapshot of the pop up weather on my computer. Rain and temps going down again. And a lot of clouds.

iPhone Wallpapers

I put the 2nd one as a background wallpaper and the first one as the Lock Screen wallpaper. I think it’s fun to change these out monthly. I also change the phone cover and my Apple Watch band. You can download these if you want. They came from CANVA.

Little Roo!

I have some baby pics to share. Sometimes I’m sent them, and sometimes I steal them from Katy’s Facebook or Instagram page because they are too darn cute.

The faces of Little Roo!

Here’s 1, 2, 3 and 4 weeks old.

Collagen

I have also been taking Collagen which I failed to mention earlier. It’s this:

It has quite a few things in it too like zinc for example. Taken from Google: Collagen Elixir™ is a potent marine collagen supplement infused with vitamin C, minerals, and superfruits like goji and acerola berry to help hydrate and nourish your skin from the inside out. It tastes just like church communion. Here’s some results from it that Trudy posted yesterday for us all to see. This is someone I follow on Instagram who is on the same system I am. I’m only 9 days in with 8 drinks as I forgot it on Friday. I can tell a subtle difference. I’ve ordered more but will run out before it gets here. I don’t intend on taking it forever, but will take it periodically if I don’t have anything else I’m needing or I think my skin needs the help. My skin always needs the help! But I won’t do this ongoing b/c it’s too expensive. While still working I think it’s ok to splurge on it a few times – especially to keep my auto ship going b/c I want to have access to the products at a discount if I can.

Anyway, that’s what’s going on with me! Now I need to get ready and get to work and I’m not moving too fast these days. Ugh! Come on Spring!

What vitamins or supplements do you take and do they help? Do you tell a difference when you forget to take them?

Thoughts Going on in my Head the Week of Christmas

Greetings friends:

You don’t notice it when we are in the room so much, but the lights are not working too well in the middle of the pre-lit tree. I always have a light problem. lol. But let’s ignore it and go on. Forgive if I’ve posted this already. I think I posted on Instagram and Facebook but not here yet. When you are over 50 you forget what went where.

Yesterday came and went. I left here at 5:30 a.m. for work in the dark, and left work there at 5:30 p.m. in the dark. Bam! Already my hours for being off a few hours to take Mom to the doc last week made up! But wait, I’d already made them up last week by working longer across the other 4 days. HA. Give two cloaks instead of one. Give two hours instead of one. Bam! Done. And no PTO used as I need it for January and had already worked the day I took off anyway.

Payroll closed yesterday but as per above you see I hurriedly crammed two days into one – well 1.5 as I worked a long day yesterday. Most of the plants were prepared for the earlier payroll, one caused a long delay, making my day even longer but it’s done now.

I think the full moon must be happening before long? I get the most calls and the most issues in a the weeks that are the shortest. Give me a long week, and it’s fairly quiet. Fact is one can do what they can and the rest rolls into the next day. At some point you have to call it. At 5:30 yesterday, I called it. I’ll have another busy day today. Tomorrow will also be very busy but hopefully not as long.

So we are turning the corner into Christmas now and plans are still in place as of right now. Tonight we go and get the fixing’s for our Christmas Dinner and Christmas day. Tomorrow night I fix Sausage balls and Christmas Eve morning I’ll get the Christmas Day brunch casserole made. I’m looking forward to Christmas. I’m also looking forward to the 4 days off. And hopefully more sleep on the weekends.

Roger was doing better at sleeping, but last night was not a good night. I didn’t sleep much beyond 1:30 a.m. other than brief snoozes between about 3:15 and 4:00 when my alarm started going off. I laid there until 4:45 just to get the rest, but I was awake. On the weekends we can at least sleep later in the morning and recoup some of our missed sleep. He has no problem snoozing during the day usually. Makes us want to wake him up, lol. But no we don’t.

My mind has been on the videos (and lack of). This time of year there is just not a chunk of time to invest in it. So much time is passing that the more time that passes the harder it is to do. I have some material (videos, pics) of things we have done in the past couple of months. And then Maisy passed. I have some video of her in a lot of them. So I am going to try to piece another one together, that summarizes our past couple of months and that has a focus on Maisy and in it I will announce her passing. I also have to redo the intro AFTER that video and so my wheels are turning. I liked that intro but I need some more up to date footage of us. And I’m probably not going to include Roger in the intro as he is probably not going to be around very long. I could be wrong. Anyway, the longer I go without doing the next video, the harder it is. I’m itching to work on it, but honestly not very motivated as it seems too much right now with Christmas. And then after Christmas we will begin packing for Texas, and awaiting the word.

Katy is in her final month. She is due January 19th. But after Christmas we feel like we need to be somewhat prepared. The hospitals won’t let us in, so I think we’ll have the ability to drive part of the way and stay somewhere overnight. It’s such a long drive. If we have Roger it’s going to be even longer. He will be unsettled during the drive. I dread it having to fight with him all the way. It’s like having a toddler that won’t sit still, lol.

I pulled up the fireplace on YouTube – they are ALL over YouTube – just pick one. This one was nice. If George is cooking, he’s listening to music, so I put the TV on fireplace mode, lol.

Anyway, those are the thoughts on my mind… I have not been very good about taking the multiple vitamin pack as it’s been so busy. I’ve done good to get the blood pressure meds in and to get the extra supplements in like Vit D once or twice. But the pack of Daily Essentials, just keeps getting pushed aside “later, too busy”. I have made myself try to drink more water as that is how I get into trouble not getting my water in. I forget to drink up. So I’m trying to sneak in greens and hydrate. But I can tell when I don’t take my multivitamin pack. I start to slide into a darker place. Winter doldrums. SAD. Seasonal Disorder. Usually starts after my birthday (Jan 3rd) when all the holiday and birthday excitement is over, I’m tired, and the sun is at a minimum. Perhaps it will be refueled with our trip to Texas, a bit further South, although totally apt to getting ice storms on occasion. I cannot allow myself to worry about that one. There is so much to worry about over this trip but I gave it up to God months ago and still having to do it. We have no idea where to stay or what will be going on. No reservations of course. We are just going and hoping for the best. Then there is the virus that could bring us to our knees and ruin any plans, so I’m trying to let go and let God. And honestly I don’t believe any plans will come to fruition anymore until I see them happen.

I’m learning to be flexible, by not allowing myself to get excited about anything. Kinda sad really. But I think that is the only way I can cope. I think I’m doing well considering my loss of Maisy. I don’t bawl every day. It’s only every few days now when I long to see her, hold her, talk to her, and have her at my feet.

I’m sad, but content at least and that is at least the state of being God has asked us to be in, in our circumstances. I have go to’s that bring me temporary joy. Like that quarter pounder I had for lunch yesterday. The glass of wine I had with my ribs last night. The game I’m playing. Patting Roger on the head. Planning my videos and thinking about things we’ll do in 2021. And of course, the joy it brings knowing my grandson is due soon. And looking forward to Christmas, seeing family and watching everyone open their gifts – and getting some gifts too. Wonder what they will be?

On that note, I shall rise and make my way to the Work Zone! So HOW are YOU ALL doing this Christmas? Are you seeing extended family? Are you feeling ok? How are you coping with our new world? I suppose it helps if you are introverted, which I am. But I still miss our active lifestyle sometimes.