Category: Weekend

Whirlwind Weekend, Being Told Every Move to Make, and Needing Rest

On By BackporchwriterIn Family, Friends, Relationships, Restaurants, Weekend11 Comments

The peonies have been beautiful. I have not had “time to smell the roses” and enjoy them. It’s been a quick flash of “oh look something bloomed”! So I will share flowers and random pics of the last few days here among my words.

Saturday was a quick but wonderful trip out to the Cool Springs area. Mainly because we had a gift card to the Cheesecake Factory. I mean that is how we do things. We have ONE thing that causes us to go a direction and we build the day across that in our excursions. Kinda like decorating a room around a special piece of decor, lol.

So we like to start around lunch and we made plans to go to YAT’s. I looked up about three places that looked good that were not overly expensive that we had never been to and asked George if he would like to try them. He picked Yats! We had told our good friends that live in the area that we would be out their way if they wanted to join us in any of our activities. So they joined us.

At Yat’s you can order half n half! That way you get to try two as it’s hard to decide. I got the Drunken Chicken and the Sausage with Red Beans and Rice. I did not eat all of my rice. This was great! I enjoyed it very much. Their lights were interesting and the food was quick. So its a quick service.

Afterwards we headed to grab a beer with our friends at a nearby brewery only to find it was closed. So we went to another ale house nearby called Brewhouse South. It was a special time to get to see our friends for a extra round of catching up. We were not ready to say good bye yet. And it was a blessing to see them all. And even Miss J who had flown in from California. Bless her, she bought our beer. And friend Lisa told me about this beer that is mostly gluten free. On our side of town the gluten free is hard to find. But this one and Daura Damm have big flavors but not the heaviness that the other ones have. I liked this a LOT. We spent a long while there at the place catching up. I only had the one in case you were wondering. Although Lisa topped me off once when she didn’t want all of hers.

Then George and I went to Gabe’s and shopped. It’s a discount store. I never buy much in there but I always find something. It’s fun to shop. It’s about the search. I bought a $4 shirt to wear with pajama bottoms, and I bought some hand soap. And a new pillow. They had good brands for “real cheap”, including memory foam.

Before I knew it we were ready for our reservations at 5:45. We checked in but George left his phone in the car so we missed our reservation call when they called for us – even though we were standing right next to the hostess desk. lol. When others behind us began being seated I asked George if he had his phone. “No, it’s in the car”.

“Then how are they to reach us?” George had made the reservations. He is used to me doing it and giving them my number. Or really just used to them calling “Cox, party of two”. So we inquired and they had called us, but they seated us anyway without further delay. We sat at a two seater (Mom would have hated it and complained). lol But it was plenty of room there. We had a pleasant meal. And iced tea was my drink of choice, lol. Our food was devine! The steak medallion dinner was out of this world.

Afterwards we went to Sprout’s, a grocery store we had not been to. We only had 30 min to shop as it was 8:30 when we got there. Shocked at how long the Cheesecake Factory took. But we wanted to go so we kinda rushed through. Thankfully it was a smaller store and not as big as a Kroger. We loved Sprout’s. A lot of healthy choices and much of it organic. We were just in love! But at the check out with not even a heaping amount in our buggy, it was nearly $200. Sticker shock. We bought lots of new things and some fresh things for the week. Our Hello Fresh doesn’t start til next week. I had storm warnings on my phone for our home area but was glad we shopped as it was no longer raining when we got home. It was totally clear on the other side of town.

We got home past bed time. I still think it was 10:30 when I finally laid my head on the pillow. And wake up time came much too soon. I was shocked to realize I’d only truly got 5.5 hours sleep. I think I tossed and turned some.

My body was feeling the tired crunch Sunday but we got up and took Mom to church and brought her a cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory. (We also bought us one which I ate bites of Saturday night before bed and Sunday afternoon).

After church we went to a new subway shop near Mom’s. Jersey Mike’s. Their sandwiches are good. They only have subs that I saw. I didn’t see a wrap or a salad. But their rosemary parmesan bread was really good and seemed fresh. We had a little trouble inside ordering. Mom had given me money to order hers and then George and I were to be on a separate ticket. So I was trying to give them a name for Mom’s order and ours a separate name so it would not be confused. George interrupted/corrected me and told them to just put it under one name. That was his first mistake. lol

So at the check out they rang up Mom’s order and my sandwich. I knew it was going to happen, as George had changed the name and made them do it as one. I’m sure he was trying to make it simple for them but it really only confused them.

We had told the guy it was two separate orders when we ordered but down the way where they ring it up, they didn’t know as it was all under one name. So when she only gave me $4 back from Mom’s $20, I knew that they had overcharged us. I asked where the rest was as it was just one sandwich. They said “oh you didn’t tell us”. I said “well we told the guy when we placed our order”. (But since it was under one name, she wouldn’t have known.) She said “ok I’ll correct it”.

As she started to correct it George said “don’t worry about it. We will settle it up b/w us.” He was trying to make it easier for them. But I wanted them to make it right for Mom so I could give her back her correct change. I said “I don’t have change George let’s just let them make it right for Mom.” He said he said “no” that he would take care of it and pay her back.

I left to get in the car as everything I said was overridden and corrected and then I was told to move out of the way by George. So I just said “well I see you have everything in control, I’m going to the car”. I was embarrassed at being treated like a child, not like an adult that is trying to fix a problem. People were starting to stare. I am not sure if they were staring at me for the confusion of our order or staring at George for being patronizing and adversarial. But he wanted to correct everything I tried to say so I let him finish up the order and bring it out.

When I recalled the incident to Mom after short changing her for her sandwich and trying to explain what happened and why she only has very little change back, George didn’t want me to tell the story by saying “it’s all in control” twice. He wouldn’t let me speak. I called him on it. I told him that I get to have a voice and speak from time to time and if I want to tell Mom what happened I most certainly will. He retorted by saying we could just go to lunch by ourselves next time. I said “fine if you want to draw that boundary for yourself, go ahead”. So I guess he will begin taking a separate car. And if that means that I can order without such pandemonium and being corrected every time I speak, hey – I’m up for that. I just know that I don’t want to be shushed, overridden, and contradicted at every word that comes out of my mouth. It’s very frustrating and not appropriate and I will refuse to tolerate that on my end either. Everyone has to have “their way”. And I give it to them a lot to avoid confrontation. This is just a good example. I may have a few boundaries of my own to settle. We may need to have some serious conversation if that ever happens again!

Of course with all my manipulation and narcissist training, I have been trying not to let people get to me. It’s a curve you have to go around. I’m not saying George is a narcissist, but I do think that some of the 5 people I am around the most have narcissistic tendencies (possibly even myself) or perhaps we are just all very individualistic, selfish, and opinionated and we all like to call the shots and have things our way. So much so that it creates confusion – such as above when three people have three different ways they want to do something. But I have to learn to let people know how I want to be treated. Just because someone wants to do something their way doesn’t mean they should demand to have it their way. It’s really ok for Sonya to get to decide how something should be done too.

I think I did well yesterday. I left the scene so I would not cause one! Or I’d have given boundaries right there in a the restaurant for all lol. He is lucky I didn’t scold him on the spot and embarrass him as much as I was already embarrassed for being patronized, corrected, and interrupted, and overruled by Every. Little. Thing. I. Tried to do and say in the deli which continued in the car. SMH.

So we got to Mom’s and I’m trying to be calm and I choose to just be quiet and helpful so that we can eat and get home and move past it all. So I start to take our sandwiches outside to be helpful. And I was told not to do that we’d fix our plates inside. My every move is always being watched by someone yesterday it seemed. I could do no right by anyone. I told Mom “however you want to do it”. I think at that point I was just thinking “Lord I can’t do anything right by these people today that just want to control every move I make.”

I guess it just gets tiring being around so many people that are so opinionated and have to do things their way – every little thing – it gets so tiring. Can I just make a decision on my own puhhhhlease? It may be little things but it seemed all morning long no matter what I tried to do or say it was getting corrected or needed to be done a different way. Mom said “Sonya” —and then stopped. And it’s a good thing she did as I’d have probably left and gone home if she’d said another word. I’d had enough of being told what to do and how to do it. I told her “hey – I said however you want to do it. I’m agreeing with you – take it!”

I’m surprised someone didn’t barge into the bathroom and explain to me how they wanted me to tear the paper off the roll and wipe my butt. Sorry, TMI, but that is how I feel. I can’t move without someone trying to correct every move or telling me what to do. “Lock this, close that, open this, put that here, where’s this, you are walking too fast, no do it this way, put it here, sit here, let’s do this, let’s do that”.

I think I just need Calgon to come take me away. And I’m laughing because as I typed that it changed to Calvin instead of Calgon. I’m like who is Calvin? If he can let me be my own person and treat me nicely I might go with him! Just kidding, but gosh. What a day.

Bottom line is I think I’m just overly tired and stretched too thin and quite frankly just had enough of everyone. I’m not getting any time to myself to rejuvenate and likely not getting any rest. So guess what? This is what you get. You get your way most of the time still but I’m coming out of my skin to call you on it when I’m tired. It is true that I usually let everyone around me have their way. Give me a tired moment and let me have my way once please?

So we ate sandwiches on the patio which I’d been looking forward to. We did it Mom’s way and fixed our plate on the counter. I don’t see as it made much difference. I ended up having to carry the fixed plates to the patio, lol. So it wasn’t easier for me but if was easier for everyone else that is fine. But whatever.

So bottom line? Did George settle up with Mom? No he didn’t have change and I didn’t either. I told him so in the deli. But he had to have his way. Everyone has to have their way. So I let them. Now Mom has been short changed. I was just trying to make it right for her. George was trying to not have the place go to so much trouble. So we were both right except for his treatment of me and shushing me aside and overriding every little thing I tried to say. He should have just let it go. Instead I did. Arghhh. I hate situations like this. It was embarrassing for all. But bottom line the problems is now ours to fix. Well his. And I’m going to let him fix it as he is the one that owes her – not me. He overruled me.

I’m not going to hold a grudge over this incident. I’m going to let it go. I’m just venting. It’s just one of those things that happens in marriage and relationships. But I may need to set some boundaries about not being interrupted when I am talking, handling a transaction, or ordering. If I’m truly doing something wrong it’s one thing. But it made it confusing for everyone. There is more than one way to skin a rabbit but no need to try to skin it three ways at once.

The tribe has spoken.

Coming back home, I had about three or four days of stuff to do. I did not get it all done. I had laundry to do, ironing to do, kitchen to clean, dishwasher to reboot, dishes to wash. Work bag to pack for the week, vitamin/med pack to fill up for the week. I had my colonoscopy instructions to read so I’d know what all I can’t take this week as far as supplements. But I did take time to consolidate all the notes, thoughts, ideas, and to do’s that had accumulated across my desk for the past month.

I still did not get finished blogging today but I am already running behind. There is still way too much on my to do list for the week. Grad cards need to be mailed, we need to get to the bank, still haven’t worked on the cable, haven’t finished the dog applications (the ones I was doing, George finished his). I did get some dusting done though, Yay and changed George’s sheets. I have to go to Publix and pick up Rx and get groceries that Sprouts didn’t have.

I’m actually looking forward to the Colonoscopy to get a day at home. I still have to go have the procedure so it’s not a true day at home but at least I’ll have some down time to rest and/or do things I want to do that allow you to sit and do it. It’s so frustrating to fight with my time. Even now I’m probably late to work. And will have to work over to make it up. Always robbing Peter to pay Paul with time. Arghhhhhh! I was going to work on the schedule yesterday and figure a few things out, but I didn’t have time. How ironic.

Visiting Andrew Jackson’s Hermitage and Grounds | Hermitage, Tennessee

On By BackporchwriterIn Travel, Weekend12 Comments

On a cool crisp early afternoon we headed for our 1:00 p.m. Mansion walkthrough reservation. A perfect day for a visit to the Hermitage grounds. Most of our time was spent outside during our visit. You can visit the grounds earlier before your mansion tour or after – or both. Either way, your visit starts with the check in at the ticket booth and then you proceed through the museum and to the grounds. There is also a nice gift shop and restaurant and wine tasting on the grounds.

We enjoyed our day very much. It should be noted that the mansion rooms are mainly roped off and you cannot enter most of the rooms but are peeking in at the doorway. Our group had approximately 12 people and a guided tour explaining each room. So as you can probably guess there was not much time to peer in as you had to let others do the same and to linger long after your group goes to the next room meant you were going to be in the way of the next group and not hear the story for the next room. Since I feel I didn’t get a good grasp of the house I bought the Hermitage guidebook. I can read more about it. This was the only downside. I get they need to preserve the things in the rooms. I’ve visited other houses and they allowed entry to the room but had furniture areas roped off and this allowed you to take in each room. No photos allowed in the house. I get it. They have to make their money somehow and if I’d taken photos I might not have bought the book. So I was ok with that. But the photos could be taken on the grounds. Even though I was disappointed about not getting to actually walk into each room, I still thought the tour and information was worth the price. So don’t read too much into my honest review of the house. We VERY MUCH enjoyed our overall time here. The staff was knowledgeable and great. I’m just an honest critic and if you know me, you know you get the good, bad and indifferent, lol!

While it was interesting getting to see the log cabins and/or slave quarters on the grounds, I mostly enjoyed the hiking around the creek and playing in the gardens. Well, I guess you could call it playing. I used my iPhone for the photos.

There was another mansion on the property – Tulip Grove. Sadly it looked to be in a state of disrepair – especially seeing the front porch. It is sad that this place is not being kept up. It wasn’t even mentioned or pointed out in any of our materials or guide – that I remember anyway. It wasn’t highlighted for sure. I think they could use this as additional money maker for them in some format. I’m sure it’s probably on the map and in the guidebook or something, but I need to read more about it.

Lots of pretty trees and magnolias on the property. The trees are huge. A few years ago a tornado came through and many many trees were destroyed. George worked at Gibson Guitar at the time and they were able to make some guitars out of some of the wood from these downed trees.

Several log cabins on the place, including the house that Jackson lived in while the mansion was being built. The grounds were just beautiful.

The hike around the property went into the woods by a stream and well, it just seemed about as near to heaven and Garden of Eden as I could ever imagine. It was peaceful.

If I lived there I would walk that path often and take seat here and read and plan and think. I believe that these were once cotton fields for a brief time just beyond the bench.

Then there was the garden paths. Just beautiful.

Yes, a raccoon sleeping on the property. We reported it and the staff said it was not rabid, just sick and they were aware. Bless him.

Then there was the museum!

So there you have a our Hermitage visit. I hope you enjoyed seeing a home of one of our past presidents. I intend to dig more into the history of it, when I have time. There are also some YouTube shows. Maybe you would like to do so as well. Or better yet, come to Nashville. There’s a lot for you to see and do and experience. As well as the communities all around Nashville too.

Would I do this again? You betcha. I’ll be back to the restaurant and for some more wine and you can join and be a member and visit the grounds, I believe. I’ll have to check out their website and give it consideration. I would love to do that hike repeatedly! The gift shop has things we might actually buy people for Christmas too. So we’ll be back! It’s a gem of an area and I’m ashamed we hadn’t been already.

I have a lot more things to share from this week as well since the Hermitage. I’m really running behind it seems. I’ll try to pop in, in the morning for the last few days updates.

Whew! This was a hard post to do uploading all the photos. I need to get ready and get into work. Hope you all have an excellent Friday.

Mom’s Day | Weekend Update | Prayer Requests

On By BackporchwriterIn Family, Uncategorized, Weekend8 Comments
Photo by George Dolgikh @ Giftpundits.com on Pexels.com

Hope everyone has had a wonderful Mom’s day. We took Mom to Paula Deen’s Fri for her Mom’s day (previous post) and then took her some of her favorite things today as a surprise (all the flavors of her Welch’s bubbly drink we could find and some popcorn and a gourmet sweet roll) and took her to church.

George took me to the Hermitage yesterday for my Mother’s Day outing. And we ate with Mom again today at her house. I ordered her things on the internet she needed and got her driver’s license ordered with the new address and her voter registration along with that so she can vote in the upcoming election. Our week and our weekend has worn me down and I came home and could not move or do another thing. I also had a couple of stabbing head pains. So I took a pretty good nap and forced myself to get out of bed, drink coffee, and “start the day again” and begin on our laundry for the weekend, changing my sheets, getting my vitamin pack reloaded, ironing my dress pants, picking out my wardrobe for the week, and packing up my work bag for things I’ll need this week. I opened the boxes from Target that came in a few days ago finally and got that stuff put up.

Happily, late afternoon, I got a face time call from Katy and River this afternoon to wish me Happy Mom’s Day. It was good to hear from them today and watch River play and eat dinner. I am sad to learn that their Findlay dog is experiencing swelling and issues from her recent intestine surgery and is having to have a plasma infusion – something to put protein back in her blood to help her gut recover. I only got bits and pieces. It sounded complicated. The cost for this is astounding. So pray from them as they deal with all this on top of everything else. I hope Findlay dog will be ok.

Hopefully within the next few days, I’ll be able to post our Saturday and give our day out the proper attention it deserves on a blog entry. It will take some time to get all the pics in and I just really don’t have time today, tomorrow or the next day. Unless it is in the evening. I’m cooking tomorrow night though. And will have to finish up laundry. The whites are washing now. I still have two or three loads to go and didn’t get George’s sheets done yet. The dusting is needed but it’ll have to go as I ran out of day and got tired and decided to do this blog entry as I ate leftover squash for dinner. Just not very hungry.

I worked on editing you tube videos some this weekend doing voice overs, picking out music and doing some editing (not all that much – I think I had 45 minutes worth in two or three sessions, not enough to sneeze at). But I’m in transition mode in my head regarding the changes I’m wanting to make as I morph into the next chapter with that. I’m still pondering how things will work. So basically scratching some of what I’ve worked on with this latest one. But mostly just not getting enough down time to think about it much less to work on it.

We will have been gone for 21 days straight I think by this next weekend without having a full day at home to work on things here. So I gave up TV tonight (robbing Peter to pay Paul with time again) to be able to finish some chores. I know we have been gone the last two weekends – not having a day at home. And more plans this weekend and then plans next weekend too. My colonoscopy is also coming up. I hope it goes well and I survive being put under. My body has been weird lately, so I’m hoping it all goes well. God is in control. I’m not used to having ZERO days at home for a month. Oh I forgot we are off on Memorial Day. I hope we have ZERO plans. I need to have a day to recoup and regroup. It’s very depressing being so busy.

My mind and body is so tired. And now I’m having these head pains that keep getting stronger in my right temple area. They have come and gone for a year just periodically. Very minor pains. Not really enough to mention. I think I’ve mentioned a few times though as I figured it was from chewing gum or something and the muscles shooting pain upwards from my teeth to my forehead/temple. It mostly doesn’t occur. Today it has been excruciating several times. Not a constant pain but just like a nerve thing that shoots periodically. It’s like having a contraction in temple if you can imagine that. If it continues tomorrow (I will try not to chew gum) I’ll have to be seen about that. I can’t go on with this. I think I will take an aspirin. It’s done it several times in the last hour.

Pray for everyone. I need your prayers. I need to feel better. I need to lose weight to do that too. Findlay needs to get better. I need a dog to love and love back. And am getting desperate for one. Even though I know we are probably not here enough. I would have gone to visit some places today if they had been open – rescue centers etc. And there are some hurts in my heart that need fixing but I won’t discuss that here.

I’ll go to sleep tonight grateful for the God we have that loves us so much- even if life seems to suck temporarily in so many ways. And hopefully he will see us through all that we need him to see us through.

I will try to be grateful for at least the warm bed to sleep on, family, a roof over my head, books that I enjoy thinking about getting to read the next chapter, and Netflix shows when we can sit at the end of a busy day – if we have time leftover, and a puzzle that I have at least framed the outline on that I wanted to work at Christmas, lol. Tonight I chose to blog (robbing that Peter to pay Paul in time syndrome again), instead of watching a show. I’ll close before this blog begins to sound like a scene from The Jerk. “All I need is this tennis racquet and this chair…” I tried to embed the scene but it wouldn’t let me. I’ll try not to be sentimental of the things we have left in life. But I do miss the things that are gone and are no more and routines that use to guide life along.

George’s week is supposed to be pretty stressful so pray for him too. I suppose I’ll be back mid-week. Or perhaps in the evenings. My life is so reshuffled and rearranged and off beat. I’m not sure where I will be when. Nothing is like it used to be. Yet here we are, scrambling and trying our best every day. Even when life disappoints or keeps us guessing, we keep trying. Each day starts anew. I mean what else are you gonna do?