Worry, Anxiety, Negativity, Reality

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It’s Friday! Yippee Yay! Yesterday great progress made toward the quarter end. It went way faster than I imagined and I won’t be as behind as I thought. However, it won’t be finished I don’t think on time as I really only have until Noon to post anything for banking thru today, if that. But just down to a few filings. And they are the harder ones that take more time, like Oregon and it requires a LOT of manual data entry. We have always been behind with those. So instead of a week behind, as far as I know, I’m only about 2 to 3 days behind. It could extend to the week if I don’t make good progress today though as it’ll be time to do payroll again which is about a 2 to 3 day time consumption. So….we’ll see, but it is going faster than I thought. At least the impact is minimal. I kinda see now, if we have a month like this in January then it should be no problem going to Texas as I sat idle for about 2 weeks this month and couldn’t work on it. It takes a while for the information to come to me and it seems like I sit and pant waiting on it and it comes all at once the last week leaving me to have to slam dunk it (or not). At that, I could plan a whole 2 week excursion to Australia and back and be able to still sorta finish. LOL

I don’t think my PTO form has been signed. However, I’ve been told verbally that I could go in January. So no worries. Maybe it’s been approved and I didn’t get a copy. Approval really has no bearing anyway, as we are planning to go regardless. Wouldn’t miss it for the world. Births and deaths are times that companies don’t get the luxury to come first.

OK sorry, I’ve promised not to worry about quarter ends any more! And trying not to worry about where we are going to stay in January. It just is going to be what it is going to be and we do what we can with the time we have and I can apparently with the help of God pull some bunnies out of the hat, so….it’s all good. Still one wonders how on earth January will be accomplished. And maybe it’ll be done by the time it’s the next quarter end, lol lol lol. There is more to do in Jan as you have to do all the w-2 reporting. So that will take a long minute.

Speaking of worries. I have some things to say. After being told that I was negative by someone recently, I have had a long week of thinking. It really hurts my feelings to be called negative. To me that is not what it is being. It’s being responsible to plan, propagate, figure out, stew over, map it, know how much time it will take, be prepared, look at all the angles, pick the right path. This is how I was brought up.

I’m also very goofy, laid back, forgetful and so I over compensate these things by over planning and thinking about things. It’s almost like a defense mechanism for the forgetful. I “worry” and “think” and “ponder” and “wonder” and go down rabbit holes and briar patches, because I care. And well because I know I’ll also have to pull rabbits out of the hat so you have to get the rabbits from somewhere. LOL.

I really hate that someone close to me “doesn’t get me”. Sometimes I think no one really does. I’ve always taken life seriously. I felt it was my role to do so. This has kept me alive taking life seriously. It has gotten things done. My negativity to others is a realist state to me. I am also shaped by the past. If I know something can go wrong, I plug a hole in it so it doesn’t happen again. If I know the train can veer off the track, I want to fix it where it won’t. I won’t enjoy the ride if I know something needs to be fixed. I feel like if I enjoy the ride that the thing that needs fixing will wreck us. Does this make sense?

Do I enjoy life? Heck yeah. But I like for the train to be on track, the boat on course and everything safe and planned like it should be so that it’s a smooth ride.

I don’t like clusters. They make me tense, they make me mad, they make me wonder why something wasn’t planned out, lol. I avoid them at all costs. You do not want to know me during a cluster. I feel like the universe is falling and after all the planning I did to avoid said cluster, if there is a cluster and you try to blame me for it – oh no sir! I think the ire goes through me faster than a bolt of lightning and I will be quick to point out exactly what the problems are and when leave you standing there with your mouth open at the entire list! And no more words will be said. Thus egg shells….LOL LOL I can’t help this about me. I try and I try hard. My feelings are real. I pin them in as much as I can for fear of being misunderstood and then they bubble out when the time comes. A voice and a mind must eventually be heard. A blog helps, by the way.

All that said, I agree I worry more than I should. God said today has enough of its own worries. And I worry over events that are months away. While it’s my nature to do so I still can allow God’s help and according to an article I read yesterday by Crosswalk’s Daily Inspiration emails, I’m doubting God if I don’t allow him to help.

In summary of this great article by Rick Warren, we doubt God, if we don’t allow God to help when we are anxious, impatient, resentful, bitter, dwell in guilt of the past, or when you feel inadequate. Rick says we should “doubt our doubts” and allow God to bring the anxiety levels down, realize God has a plan for our life, trust God’s wisdom when things don’t turn out, and believe in God’s forgiveness and in his power to help. Powerful stuff by Mr. Warren.

Sometimes God speaks through others and I think God was knowing that me and others needed this message. It’s a give and take thing with me. I give it to God and take it back. In reality we do need to make sure we are doing our part – that is where I go sideways is I take it ALL back again. But we have to remember that with prayer and God, Jesus, and our comforter and helper, The Spirit, we can move mountains.

My faith has apparently been too little. But I know my Creator and He knows me. I’m placing my faith and reminding myself again with the help of Rick Warren, that it really doesn’t matter what anyone thinks of me, it doesn’t matter whether quarter end is finished or not, it doesn’t matter if we have a hotel, a motel, an RV, a car or a tent in Texas – what matters is His Will, His Kingdom, and my place within it.

Need Sleep and God’s Gonna do my Quarter End Returns

Roger dog did not sleep well last night. He wanted off the bed. George got up with him twice. He would not settle. Once it was at 11 during my prime time to get solid uninterrupted sleep. The other was sometime around 1 or 2 or so I think. Then I tossed and turned the rest of the night. As usual was sleeping good by the time the alarm went off. My body feels like it was run over by a truck. So coffee is good this morning. I hope I can make it thru the day. If I don’t get good sleep, I have a hard time.

Not a lot to tell about yesterday. Payroll went ok and found out that the $1700 ish dollars that our reconciliation is off has to do with the COVID, taxes, and insurance. It is a different formula than what we were working with. They are trying to figure out how to pull the numbers from the system. Mystery numbers, lol. I think we found it, it’s $1700 isn’t it? LOL Waste of time trying to find it by calculating all of our employees tax information separately these last three days But oh well. Trial and error. Our systems were just not set up for a COVID environment.

Waiting for the Wave

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I’m pretty much at a STOP on Quarter End. I am waiting “for the wave” of information from others that I need to do the returns. I can only get so far until the unemployment info comes my way from others. I’ve not been able to work on any returns for the last two weeks, it’s on hold til I get info I need. Then the last week it’s always a scramble to get it ALL done when all the info comes at once b/c I still have payroll to do which takes most of the week. The bad news is this body/mind shuts down after so many hours, so I’m not sure I’m going to be able to do much scrambling. LOL And I am not staying after dark to work on anything. People pretty much clear out these days by 5:30 so working late is not an option for me that I am comfortable with being a woman there by herself. I can come in a little earlier, some days but I have things I have to do in the mornings like dog duty since George has a long way to travel. I do mornings and he does evenings. And with the sleeping issue, I need all the sleep I can get. So I can’t get there too much earlier either. LOL Life is hard. OH well.

No Worries

What is it they say? It is what it is, when something is out of your control. Might as well not worry about, just pray about it, say the phrase “It is what it is about 3 times” and just do what you can. It’s not looking good right now for me to finish on time. It’s a shame I couldn’t be working on it these past two weeks. But I worry about it every quarter and somehow it mostly gets done on time. Not all of it, but most of it. We’ll see how it goes. I will try not to worry since it’s basically out of my control other than having to do flips and curls next week, but I’ve decided I’m not skipping lunch anymore to do it. That’s just wrong, lol. A gal’s gotta eat. So I’m setting some boundaries for myself that lunch time will still be taken – at least a short break. I might order in one day though as a treat/work time. We’ll see. It’s so expensive to do that though. And I’ve spent a LOT of money on Amazon and Target with a lot of friends getting married, having babies – wonderful times – plus I’ve ordered a lot for Kate. Then I ordered all the Christmas stuff and fall stuff and we’ve gone overboard on groceries. And it’s time to Christmas shop. Plus I have all these subscriptions I do every month but I stopped doing hair and nails for that. So I probably need to cut back on lunch for a while to make up for some of it. Happy times but the operating expenses are slender now. Too much happening at once.

Alright over and out. I’m not gonna worry. Giving my worries up! Letting God handle it. If next week is a bad payroll week and I have no extra time, God may have to file quarter end returns by Himself. LOL.

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