Anticipation, Lack of Sleep, and Flooring Postponed

Just a little pop in today. I am trying to be happy with love and joy! However, my sleep has been horrible this week. The last two days I’ve slept in the spare bedroom on top of a quilt and another quilt on top of me, so as not to disturb Mom’s sheets. She will be back to spend the night Saturday night.

The spare bedroom though has not helped my sleep any. Last night for no reason at all I tossed and turned between 1:30 and 4. Finally went to sleep but the first alarm goes off at 4:30 and I kept hitting snooze. It was just unbearable to think of getting up. I’m not sure I hardly opened my eyes wide until after coffee was made and shower taken. Most of shower was with eyes closed. I worried I’d fall asleep in the shower!

My muscles are hurting a bit too this morning. I am thinking it’s all intertwined. I wanted to call in for a PTO day and just sleep today. But I have to sign checks and I despise calling in on a day that was unplanned/unscheduled. So I’m forcing myself to move today. But I feel like death warmed over.

Anticipation is Stressful

All in all, I think it’s really the house thing with Mom. I think I’m worried over it and want her to be signed and locked in this deal. I will feel better tomorrow after the meeting I think – once I know she is signed and sealed. There is a gap in the value of the house she is selling and the house that is being built. For her to move up here, it is going to be that way with any place with an HOA and the houses just keep going up and up. Her other choice would be to stay with us I guess b/c she can’t stay down there with no help and we just can’t be down there to give her the help she needs and will need. She doesn’t want to rent, as that is throwing money away. There are just no flat condos anywhere much and she won’t have a townhouse, even if she just stayed on the bottom floor. So her options are very limited and she will be very selective as to what options she will do so I really really really want this to work tomorrow. If it doesn’t I think we’ll all be devastated.

I hope the sellers/builders will give her a break being a Christian woman and a widow. I hope they give her a break on the price and the upgrades. Lord knows we have prayed EVERY day. Several times a day. Everything is leading in this direction as WIN WIN for all. As long as the money works.

Mom talked with a realtor about her house yesterday and it’s value. It’s right on the spot about where George said it would be. I think she should list for more than the realtor told her. Maybe she needs another realtor for 2nd opinion, says George. As he quoted on the lower end of George’s range of possibilities. Anyway Mom is not signing to sell her house yet til she meets with the folks on the new place tomorrow to hopefully sign. But if the deal is not right, I think she is prepared to walk away. So I’m hoping sleep will be better Saturday night. If this deal does not go through, I know that personally, my hope will be shattered and I will flat feel like giving up. Not to mention how sad Mom will be. But I know though that God has this. And we just have to trust in Him. I just kinda feel in my heart it will work out and I hope that we are not all disappointed.

I do know this. I am tired. I am very tired.

This came in the mail from BoysTown, as they send free things to you when you give to their cause. They sent this along with some seed packets. I think I would like to plant the seeds. But I’m not sure I’ll be able to keep up with the watering and weeding. So we’ll see.

Working on the To Do List and Trying to Relax

I was able to do a couple of things yesterday afternoon – a load of laundry since we won’t be here much this weekend. I checked out some new dentists a couple of days ago, and yesterday I checked to see which one was on the dental plan. So I want to set up an appointment with the new one and cancel my old one. I was not particularly enthralled with the one that came in after my favorite one retired. He was not very thorough, not very inquisitive, and just didn’t seem to be in the moment. It’s too early to tell I guess, but what really set me off was that I asked for George an appointment to get his crowns glued back in. I think he has three that came out. I told her this twice as she was setting the appointment. The first appointment they cancelled as the dentist had something else going on, but he didn’t get the word – that was part his work’s fault b/c they have a building where cell phones can’t come through. So a wasted afternoon off work and a drive in. The next time they rescheduled they gave him a cleaning and would not put in his crowns. They scheduled him with the hygienist and not the dentist I guess. So he has to come back a 3rd time. I already deal with people who don’t listen in my life, so I have no plan on dealing with a dentist office that can’t even set an appointment correctly. I was already on the fence and when George said he was having trouble, that made up my mind to change. It’s really out of the way for me to go that direction anymore. I’d rather have somewhere closer here anyway. They must have a lot of people leaving because they have openings and are begging patients to come in for sooner appointments if needed.

I also got to watch a YouTube show and that was relaxing. Of course George and I eat and watch a show on Netflix. We are watching Designated Survivor with Keiffer Sutherland as president, lol. We are enjoying the show.

Flooring Postponed until We Have More Time

I also picked out our flooring places and saw where they are. I told George we could wait until we have a free Saturday instead of trying to cram in so much into a Saturday. I’m a little disappointed about that as I’ve had my heart set on that after Easter. I am truly about ready to move out of the house myself if we don’t get this nasty carpet out of here. I’m done with carpet. Maybe forever! Ok with rugs as they can easily come and go but carpet – ugh! The new flooring is going to make our place look incredible. And I can’t wait. But I will have to schedule a Saturday once we get Mom’s doings settled where I can sneak a Saturday in for myself.

Anyway, I need to head off to work. I’m about to come alive, thanks to coffee. I think I will have to try to pump myself with hydrate drink, vitamins, and maybe some greens drink today. I need a lifting somehow. I’m just flat deflated right now. And Roger says “hello”. He lifted his head to say goodnight as I went to bed. Since Maisy has gone, he has shared his love to me, just as he does to George. He loves to see me. He still has his Dad as his favorite, but he seeks me out. He knows I’m the “treat lady”. He knows I love him and will pet him. Bless his heart, when you pet him he falls over. He’s muscles are tired and he gets off balance.

Stay Tuned for the Outcome. Will Mom sign? Or not?

Ya’ll have a good day today. I’ll likely not post until probably Sunday unless I just get a crazy minute. And then I will let you know if it’s GOOD NEWS or BAD NEWS. Will Mom be able to get the house or did she lose it? And if she loses it, what then? Let’s not even think that. I just want this to be a done deal so I can’t get it off my mind wondering what is going to happen.

Little Roo’s Sleep, Matcha Drink, Storm Chasing, Spiritual Journaling, and To Do List

The theme of yesterday was how to get Little Roo to sleep. My daughter is struggling for the perfect schedule. She is a good Momma. We (George and I) assure her that it is normal for babies to not have much of a schedule their first few weeks/months. And even when they get into one, sometimes it changes a bit. I told her that sleep and eating schedules were not perfectly timed so much until they begin eating cereal. For some reason about that time they start sleeping longer at night, and end up morphing into a morning nap and afternoon nap. He did not nap at all yesterday and it really bothered her. She is worried that he needs his sleep. He had slept almost all night though the night before. They bought him his “space suit” above. George and I told her last night “just relax”.

JUST LOOK at this adorable mischievous face. Here’s a post Katy put on Facebook last night. I just love that little smile!

Yesterday rocked! I got caught up at work. I’m all prepared for the next quarter end! That said, I’m considering a PTO day for next Friday just in an effort to have some down time and get some things done I’ve not been able to do. We’ll see how much progress I can make this weekend. But for a couple of weeks my work load will be light so it’s really a good time to take a day off. I think I might, even without consideration of what the rest of the year will look like. My soul is just screaming for extra time so I think it might be time to take it!

Matcha Match

Here’s a screen shot I took to remind me to tell you that I tried the Iced Pineapple Matcha Drink from Starbucks. I was unsure at first if I liked it, but now I’m finding that I’m kinda craving it. It was NOT a non-caloric drink but it wasn’t horrible in calories. I think I may do some research on making this at home and perhaps keeping Matcha available to make Matcha Tea or Matcha Whatever. I want to see the nutrition value. It’s green so it must be healthy, LOL! You should give it a go if you do Starbucks! I plan to use my card on another one this week! So it’s a matcha match! lol. I’ll take it. I love finding new things I like.

Storm Chasing via Live Stream

After work last night, I started a load of clothes as George fixed the dryer so I got into that. Katy called and we talked about Little Roo’s sleep patterns for a long while. And then I got interested in following the storm chasers in the “Pan Handle” of Texas near Lubbock. One in particular is Reed Timmer. I follow him on Facebook I think – and I get live notifications so when he goes live in his storm chases, I can follow. I did some screen shots!

It’s interesting to watch but I would not want to be there. The storm chasers have their own language. He kept talking about being in “the bear cage” and that means that the tornado is the bear and they risk being attacked by the tornado. So that was exciting. There WAS a tornado and I got to watch it form and be in the car with a storm chaser (via the internet, LOL). That is the ONLY way I’d do it. LOL LOL

Here’s a screen shot of the radar a little after the live stream as the storm pressed east. My daughter is about an hour from Abilene so you know I had my sights on this storm. The rough weather was north of her.

After we got off the phone with Katy we had dinner of salad and ravioli and watched a couple of GOOD GIRLS shows. We have officially finished 2 seasons and we have one more to go. WE have loved this show. It think it is better than Breaking Bad!

SLEEEEEEP was superb! And I slept until about 6:30 or so this morning.

Morning Spiritual Focus Time

I’ve not mentioned it in a while, but wanted you to know that I have kept with my morning routine of after my shower and grabbing my cup of coffee, I head to “my chair”. This has worked more than anything ever has – having a specific chair and set up for this focus time. And I must say that THIS GROUNDS ME!

I start with my morning journal, a prayer to God, and I thank him for yesterday’s blessings. And I pour my concerns to him, and make any needs or fears known and ask for his support. And I.LET.IT.GO! When you have the most powerful DEITY in charge of you, you need not worry of anything else.

So progress has been made in my efforts to read the Bible backwards, LOL! I mean ya gotta shake life up right? I’ve read TWO chapters a day and underlined in YELLOW key points. I must say there are a LOT of key points. Each time I read the Bible I discover something I missed the last time, or some new meaning is revealed to me. It’s the neatest thing. I’m in Ephesians now.

And so I have a day cut out for me. All these things on the list that never seem to go away on top of housework. But it is all fun and games when its Saturday because I like doing all of those things.

To Do List

Much of the same is still on it as the last time I posted. Let’s see how much I get done this weekend.

Do you know what? I’m also looking forward to fixing a big bowl of popcorn and watching some of my shows! 😉 So I’ll work hard and when I get tired this afternoon I’ll sit down and do that.

That said, I better get started and go for it!

Friday, Sleeping in the Guest Room, and Battling the Blues

Ahhhh yes, the week progresses and Friday is here at last. It’s hard to describe this week. Despite my trying to keep positive and keep grasping at “happy”, I can feel this tug downward. I think I go through this EVERY year about this time. The days have been dark and dreary, if sunny at all they have been cold. The sleep on the minimal side as well – and does not help AT ALL. I try to look forward to things, but find I just trend downward in my mood. Are any of you doing this too? I have not lost hope though. I keep grasping and finding myself on middle ground somehow. And the fact that it is Friday helps a lot to keep my chin up, and while the rosy glasses are still around here somewhere -I’m looking for them, the dark glasses are not being worn just yet. I have on the light grey fuzzy pair, the white cloudy ones that keep the future out – the ones that can’t see past winter.

I feel like I’m way behind on everything I want to do here at home, but yet where is the hurry or the WHY behind the hurry? It’ll happen when it does. And yet all the things I’ve talked about for months I can finally do this weekend, so at least that is progress.

Christmas, the Texas trip, Year End, all threw me behind a bit. That’s ok. Those were important, Christmas and Texas was fun and the Year End necessary. This week I’ve enjoyed working less – leaving on a better schedule (leaving on time) and that has made the evenings a bit more restful and made a few evening projects possible. Such projects this week: getting through the remaining 800 emails and doing my nails and watching a couple of YouTubers that I’m behind on.

As far as work goes? Well, I am down to only one state of reporting w-2’s and that state gives you until the end of February. So I’ve made progress already in my “February” processing of things. This last state left is one of the bigger projects with its requirement of entering – I think it’s like 188 or so w-2’s manually as for some reason we don’t have what it takes to do a file upload. It may be more than 188 but it’s something like that. I’m breaking them up into like groups of 20 and at least you can SAVE it. So I’ll do a few at a time and take breaks. Once that is finished my year end projects are over. And there is a LOT to catch up on after that. I have to box up some cabinets for storage pick up, move over some 2020 files to make room for 2021, and yes – believe it or not – start preparing for the next quarter, making worksheets, make payroll labels and so forth. Lots to work on there. Before long – just a few weeks and it’ll be quarter end again. And I have a couple of month ends too before then.

Watching Yellowstone Series

Photo from CANVA, Yellowstone area

We’ve been watching “Yellowstone” some this week and we only have ONE show left in season 3. I wonder if there will be another season. I hope so. We’ve really enjoyed this show. We wanted to watch the final one last night but we watched two shows last night and it was time to go to bed.

Bedtime Decisions

Speaking of BED. Roger began whimpering at 10:00 p.m. starting the disturbances way earlier than normal and waking me up just after being asleep for half an hour. Without even hesitating, I grabbed my pillows, and favorite warm throw, and took them with me to the guest bedroom (my beach bedroom), for a night of better sleep. This pic below is just a canned photo from Pexels through WordPress, but I do like the pic!

Photo by Taryn Elliott on

After several nights in a row of spotty sleep, I decided that last night I’d do myself a favor and just move. And that decision was on a whim, but likely a good one for a time. While I cannot claim that I got MORE sleep, I can say that the sleep I had between wake up sessions was a deeper and more restful sleep. I woke up a few times between 1:30 and 4:00 hearing Roger’s whimpers and putting him back in bed, from where George had taken care of the opposite and put him down from the bed. I think it’s worth it to maybe move into the guest bedroom for a while. Maybe we can both get some rest that way. I could still hear snoring but it was not as loud as it was not right in my ear, and I wasn’t having to deal with BOTH dog waking me up as well as snores.

Once I’m awake around 1:30 my night is pretty much shot from there and I sleep light the rest of the night. Dog whimpers and snoring make me wake up repeatedly IF I get the luxury of going back to sleep in our bed. And worse, is when I’m in a deep sleep and get woken up – and my dreams are weird and all that, plus the drowsiness you feel all day from being woken up in a deep sleep. I am just so tired of it all and at wit’s end. I even have wanted to go stay in a hotel for a night or two to just catch up on sleep. But I’m getting to where I cannot function properly from lack of sleep now. I need sleep – whatever it takes. So it’s time. Roger will have to just stay down from the bed. I’m going to put the sound machine on in the guest bedroom and hopefully it will drown it out. It’s just all so sad. I hate to hear him whine but we have to have sleep.

The Dreams

I like remembering the dreams – even if they are odd – but they are definitely weird. Like adventurous weird. I’m always traveling somewhere, going somewhere, with a big group usually, most of whom I do not know- but sometimes I lose my purse. I hate that one. I think that dream happens when life is unorganized and untidy and chaotic, and I start to feel anxious about it. I no longer dream much about work now that I’ve moved from HR. I used to have chaotic work dreams during my HR Career. Some seemed prophetic. I once dreamed I walked into a bathroom stall and there was a person (coworker) sitting on the toilet. Who dreams that??? I do for some reason. I mean YUK! The next week this person was “flushed from our system” and no longer working with us. Things like that happen a lot.

Like one night this week in my dreams I flew around (that part was really fun) and landed in some strange folks kitchen at a family gathering and was just like “well hello, how ya’ll been?” What???? lol The flying around was fun of course. But what weird dreams. I remember in my dream thinking “wow, this is great I want to keep going and I flew until I saw something interesting, which was someone cooking dinner in their kitchen – how appropriate is that? It may sound like a weird dream but that is SOO me to stop flying to go eat! LOL

Photo by Free Nature Stock on

So last night’s “no brainer” decision was a good one I think. I’m going to sleep in there for a while and see if it doesn’t help me out. No doubt I also keep George awake some when I’m in bed as I toss and turn so much. We’ll see how it goes. It’s kinda sad in a way and I’ve said NO to moving to the other bedroom for weeks. But I’m going to do it now and see if it doesn’t help, or at least until Roger is no longer with us. I just can’t do this anymore of the up and downs all night and no sleep. I think Roger is just going to have to whine and our sound machines will have to drown him out. Doggie Alzheimers and he just doesn’t want to do anything but drink water and pee, drink water and pee, and then finally sleep while we are awake. It’s not my decision to make as far as “when it’s time”. It’s George’s decision as it’s his buddy dog. Does Roger still have joy? Yes. Does he have pain? Not actively showing signs of pain. Is he struggling? Yes. Are his systems failing? Likely yes, in the stages of it.

These times are tough. But it’s Friday! Yes it is. We will hold on to that and get through the day with our Friday tasks and our w-2 reporting. And we will come home and dive into the weekend projects. All those projects that I have talked about since October! I won’t list them for the 40th or 60th time. But I will come back in and let you know how things are progressing!

Happy Sleeps to all! And Happy Friday as well. Will Spring ever get here? I’m so ready for it. But we have colder temps coming ahead! I’ve not really checked the weather much but I heard we have a cold trend coming. I’m so dang tired of being COLD! OK it will get better! I’ll find the Rosy Glasses and it’ll all be ok.