Needing Prayers, Strength, and Trying to Stay Positive

Got up a little early on this Tuesday morning 3:45 a.m. and now I have a little time to myself and able to do a blog entry. It seems the only way to get quality time to my self is just to keep getting up earlier and earlier to make room for me. That may sound selfish but if you don’t give yourself what you need, you are not good for anyone.

I’m doing a new challenge this week. I’ll not tell anyone what it is so no one can judge, sabotage, tease, or poke. I just simply need to do some things for myself without anyone knowing my business. It’s not about food, water, weight loss, nutrition, but it is about protecting myself, my thoughts, and my needs so that I can be in a good place for those around me. It is a secret but that said there are hints at times within this entry.

I also need your prayers in a very big way. A very dear family member is having some testing done as they are not feeling well. The doctor has laid out possibilities ranging from not so serious to serious. And of course it’s very scary waiting to see what is wrong. I have chosen not to post who at this point out of privacy for them, but really need your prayers for healing for this person and for a not serious and very treatable situation.

I sometimes want to be mad at God for letting things happen to good people. But I realize that no matter how much this world or the enemy tries to destroy, HE IS IN CONTROL. I think this year HE has shown me that none of us is in control. We have to let go of our fear and LET GOD. Because there is not much we can do.

We can give and give and work and work and think that at the end of the day we can look back on our hard work, and often we do, but at the end of the day you are given so much more to deal with for the next one. Ten more things exploding on our to do list, another person heavy in grief, another needing great healing, and all in a period of time that is supposed to be filled with contentment, joy, peace, and love.

Only in sleep, when it comes, can we seem to be exempted from the frustrations and must haves and messes and the continual arrows that are thrown at our days.

Lord give me strength to be there for those that need me, to face things I have to face, to do things I need to do, and if there is anyway to please make it easier, do that!

So as of today here is what is on our plate:

~So yes, waiting on the further testing to come back.

~Mom’s company arrives this weekend. Bed is not ready. Bath is not ready. I have to go shop and get a list of things Mom needs. When? I D K maybe after work one night?

~Dishwasher repair man comes today. Went to get Mom last night and she spent the night (in the chair at her request) and was kind enough to be here to let him in today and we’ll take her back home today.

~Still have some Christmas shopping to do. Hoping to work that in after work as well. I haven’t even had time to plan.

~Office move happening and all has to be packed up by end of day Thursday. Not sure what is supposed to happen Friday. I could use the day off if it comes to that. My life is obviously such turmoil and I need to be three people. We will know more today.

~I get stressed normally this time of year, but this year is a triple whammy.

That said, let’s take a deep breath. Let God send some kind of magical energy that will swoop down, embrace us, and give us strength and perhaps even a magic wand. Here’s some pretty pics from the trip on the drive.

I covet your prayers. I know EVERYONE is busy. I’m not the only one. But when a family member I’m close to is not feeling well, it just breaks my heart into. Lord heal like only you can do, all that is wrong. Right it. Right it all. OK off to do payroll on my early day.

Busy but Refocusing on To Do Lists

Good morning! This was on one of my calendar days recently. I’m not sure I know how to be myself anymore. The move #1, the stamina, the worry is all shedding off. It feels good to be in Phase 2, but I am feeling so incredibly exhausted to the point of not even wanting to think about anything. I’ll be ok, but I do need time to readjust, get some rest and rejuvy, and re-center. My new bed time is 8:30. I may not actually be asleep then, but it’s quiet time in my bedroom until 9 ish when crawl in bed and fall asleep. That moment of crawling in bed and laying my head on the pillow is so sweet. At least 6.5 hours of undisturbed time to myself to just dismiss life and get rest. I shoot for 7.5 or 8 but often that does not happen. I’m just awake.

I suppose I have had too much sugar, too much fried, too much enriched flour lately and am having random pains. Yesterday my left ankle hurt. Right now it’s my right “pointer finger” and my upper shoulders. It even hurts to type. I need to take more vitamins I guess. I already take B, C, D, but have been ignoring (too busy) to stop and take the vitamin pack of the wellness company I use which for some reason has something in it that keeps me from hurting. You bet I’ll be taking those today.

Aside from being tired, all is well in the house. We still have a mattress in our way in the hallway. Not sure how long we will have to look at that and how long we have to squeeze by it. lol. But I think George is saying “I’m not moving anything else for a while.” It was the wrong mattress – somehow “the good one got away” in the confusion. So the unused mattress sits in my hallway for days. Yee ha. I think we are about out of room downstairs so I’m not sure where it will go, which may be part of the problem. The whole thing kinda put a curve ball in everyone’s plans. But things happen. The mattresses got moved around and Mom didn’t know it I guess or didn’t keep up with it and so hers either went to the road or was given away and now she is stuck with a mattress she doesn’t want. Or we are anyway.

During my quiet time at night, I use this little thing that looks like a candle. It’s battery operated. The outside of it is made of a thick paper that used to be scented. Some kind of aromatic thing that used to be with all the scented things for your home. I looked to try to find these again years ago. But couldn’t find any more. I love this thing. It’s nice when you have company too to use as a candle, but my new use for it is perfect. It’s just enough light to illuminate the room til I’m ready for sleep. I just lift the paper off and it turns off. Put the paper back on, and it turns on. It’s amazing.

Had a stormy looking day Monday. The news had talked up the storms to be something horrid coming our way, the clouds looked mean, but the rain was brief and none of it really lasted very long. I guess that is good. It dumped a lot of rain quickly and watered our flowers. You could see it coming in and the sky was so blue with rain – that’s not clear blue sky there but rainy skies.

Have talked to Katy a few times lately. Mr. Roo is cutting some teeth and quite fussy and having a time sleeping. She and coworkers are having to go to Abilene today for training. Prayers for their safety and also that Little Roo feels better and gets some sleep and helps her out some. Being a Mom can be tiring at times when the schedule “can’t be obtained”. Katy is much like me in the fact that she likes routine and wants things to go according to plan – well we all do really I guess. Luck at how he is clutching her shirt. I just noticed that. He is holding on for dear life. lol. I love it when he laughs.

He had a big poopie at daycare and his daycare lady named “google” said “did you poopie everywhere” in her cute little animated voice. He laughs now every time somebody says it. Of course hearing about it, the whole family rushes up to him and says “Did you poopie everywhere?” To which he breaks out in laughter or smiles. So yeah – we are always saying that every time we see him/FaceTime him.

And now when Mr. Roger (the dog) has an ooopsie – you know what we are saying to him right?????? “Mistah Rogah, did you poopie everywhere?” To which he promptly wags tail and holds head high. LOL LOL LOL

Mom fixed dinner last night. She fixed a wonderful quiche with bacon! We devoured it. We had grits and cantaloupe with it. I suggested since the front came through and it wasn’t as hot, that we eat in the sun room. So that was nice. I turned on the fans and opened the screens and it was pleasant. I think it got down to the fifties but not sure. It says 54 right now on my computer. So Mom will enjoy some sun room time today I bet til it warms up.

So, it feels good to morph into focusing on other to do lists now. Of course Mom’s list of needs is also on my to do lists. The lists grows but we are so busy it will keep growing before we have time to actually do any of it. I did get our FAMILY CALENDAR filled in and it’s in the living room. It will have our doc appts and outings on it. So we don’t double book anything. So one by one I’ll get things caught up. But we have very little time it seems. We are free tonight and tomorrow night we may go eat with our new neighbors and do trivia night at a local place here in town. Saturday is George’s company picnic and then Sunday it is our hope and desire to go to church that day. I need to look up and see the time. I have forgotten. Anyway we will focus on the to do’s and get them done one at a time, just like we did the move.

Mom’s List:

  • Queen Bee movie. We were going to rent from Amazon Prime but didn’t want to pay the $19.99 so we didn’t. We will wait til it is free or will just not watch it.
  • Heart doctors near us- check them out, reviews, and pick one and make an appointment for Mom
  • Help her change address with social security and medicare on line.
  • Get her car washed and vacuumed
  • All her jewelry is packed and she wants some new earrings
  • Need to get some salad dressing she likes
  • Some kind of watch that will sync with her Samsung (kinda like my Apple Watch)

My list:

  • My house needs attention. Vacuum and dust mainly.
  • Ironing as I’m about out of work pants (must iron tonight)
  • July 4th Decor for the dining table
  • Change purses
  • Plan a couple of meals
  • Fix pimento and cheese
  • Fix chicken salad
  • Hem my blue pants
  • Summer bucket list before summer is half over, lol
  • Flooring
  • Transfer footage from camera
  • Work on imovie
  • Read some

Well, I must get going and get dressed and on the road early if I can. There has been a bad wreck on the interstate – a fiery crash involving the bridge to our exit, I think. Not sure of details but will have to do back routes to work and of course everyone else will be so it may be a year before I can get to work, lol.

Anyway prayers to those involved in this gnarly wreck and those emergency workers dealing with it. Here I am worrying over my to do list and someone is not able to even think about a list anymore. I hope all ok but likely it is not for those involved. Anyway, ya’ll have a grand day today. Make it a good day. It’s OVER THE HUMP. A fast week, just like they all are!

What is on YOUR to do list?

Patience and Positivity Needed

Well, here we are on a Thursday. Two days away from getting to see our Little Roo. I can hardly believe it. Way back in March we told everyone – this weekend and the following weekend is SACRED and spoken for. Nearly everything thing on earth has tried to steal the two weekends away, but we are going to spend some time with them in the next week. We have to work. We don’t have a lot of PTO time to spare but we are taking one day next week to be with them and we get to see them on the weekends.

We pick them up from the airport and I think we may be taking them too the following Saturday on our way to do our beloved get together, also planned since March with some of our friends. We will be doing birthdays and Christmasing with Don and Lisa and family. We have not seen them since – I think 2019. I think Covid hit before we were given a chance to see them last year. We have kept in touch about every other Friday or so. I am so excited to see them. And that is the following weekend.

Payroll is going well. I’m a little behind my normal pace as the holiday Monday made it a short week, and it has been crazy busy on top of it. As you know we made multiple trips over the holiday weekend doing Mom’s move. So there was no time at home to do things. Somehow each morning I rebooted the laundry but yesterday I folded 3 loads and got them to our rooms. Still haven’t put them in the drawers yet. Since I’ve also worked 10 or so hours the last two days and had a trip to urgent care, I’ve had little time since to get anything done. But I did get some ironing done so I have pants to wear to work today!

Looking back we probably should just have paid someone the 17,000 dollars to just go and do this pack and move so Goerge didn’t have to worry about the logistics of it all. It was getting complicated as George and I discussed things the last two days. Running out of storage, and out of time. But he has been glad to do all of this planning for Mom. And I love him for it. I sure hope she appreciates what he is doing. He asked me to see about getting more storage as the two units we have are full. There is still a household full of furniture to move. I was able to score that. A bigger unit coming open on the 19th, the exact day we need it. I took it. Even if we have to pay for it ourselves. We have to have a place to put all this stuff.

I’m all over the place this morning, but it’s only fitting to write that way as my life has also been that way. So welcome to my world.

Back to the Urgent Care. I had a place on my back that was bothering me. I wasn’t sure exactly what was going on. It seemed to be more than just a cyst, or a bump, but was acting more like a spider bite. It was red, puffy, and getting infected. It was painful all weekend but I didn’t have time for urgent care. Tuesday was payroll day but I went in at 6:30 so I could get two days of work done in one and see if I had time for Urgent care to. I rushed through and got done and had to go to three Urgent cares to be accepted. One wasn’t taking any more patients and had changed their hours from what google said, another was closed for good, and I drove across town to the 3rd one, waited an hour and a half and got antibiotics. It had developed into cellulitis, I think she said, which can be dangerous and get in bloodstream if not treated. The spot is really very very sore. It almost hurts to move. I think it is better, but honestly not much better, but I’m only 3 pills in on the antibiotics. I have to go back tomorrow.

So….back to the move. George made an excel sheet of everything that still had to be moved. He panicked when he realized that it would not all fit in two to three u-haul trips, even if he got a big truck. He realized we needed more time. More weekends. But we can’t do these next two weekends as we are not giving up our time with River. So We called Mom last night to see if she would call the realtor and ask for the last weekend in June, just two more days of possession, which we would pay $25 per day for, as per contract, which George and I would gladly pay as it’s not Mom’s fault we want to see our grandson this weekend. However, Mom did not want to make the call to ask for the extra two days. She said she didn’t want to but George could call. George is not sure his request would be honored as it wasn’t his contract. But he said he would try. So we’ll see what happens. To be honest I’m still wrapping my head around all this as George has worked so hard to make this all work out. If the realtor won’t accept George’s request I think we have no choice but to take unplanned time off work that week to get it done. SMH!

George was taking a PTO day soon to get some personal things done but decided to rush through and get the morning errands done and spend the day getting a load in to help the situation.

I keep talking about patience in this entry because I’m afraid I need it. My calendar even said I did! lol I think we are all exhausted to the point we are not helping each other but hurting each other. A divided situation cannot stand but will fall like a house of cards. So everyone needs to stay strong, quit being selfish, contribute, love one another and get this thing DONE! We are all exhausted to the point of combustion. And it is a good thing we have two weekends away from this move. As of today I’m moving my focus on things here and away from all things that are making me feel negative feelings and negative energy and looking towards the positive.

We should all be grateful for what we have and for what others are willing to do for us. And we should all expel the negative energy that is building up and enjoy our days to come and not make it harder than it has to be. I get all caught up in negative energy and it takes me a minute to realize when I’m getting all caught up in it. So I’m going to be having to focus on the positive so that I can be positive minded.

I don’t want to be the miserable cow that I woke up to this morning. I went to bed on my anger I’m afraid over something that happened yesterday. I don’t want to be consumed by anger. I refuse to let someone control me in that way. I want to be consumed by God’s spirit. So I prayed to God this morning to take over a few things. You give and give of yourself and……..sometimes you just need to recoil, rethink, rejuvy and if that doesn’t work, just give it to God. I’m done as they say.

Chocolate helps!