No, You are NOT a Failure, If You have Made Improvements

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Weekend Accomplishments

I’m feeling accomplished this morning. I finished a big huge project, worked on the house a bit, did most of the laundry, worked on Christmas orders, bought dry ingredients for Thanksgiving, and ordered things for Mom that she needed, and did great with the challenge. When can I ever say that? Mainly on weekends where we are not gone. I did have say “no” to a last minute invite to the Titan’s game. I wish I could have done both. But with so much on my shoulders right now, saying “yes” would not have been the right answer. Now I have had sleep, and have gotten things in order and prepared for some of the things that lie ahead.

Each night I have slept 9 to 11 hours. That should tell you how exhausted I have been. Most work nights average 6.5 hours and my body needs about 7.5 to function at best. By weekend, I’m usually pretty exhausted and if I have missed any hours of sleep around 1:30 a.m. (often up for an hour or two) that just exacerbates the problem.

This Week’s Goals

The focus this week is on getting quarter end done. I still have several unemployment returns to do on the plant side, numerous tax filings for Oregon which is so “high maintenance”. We all have rolled our eyes at the amount of time it takes with all the various Oregon taxes. I also have a federal tax return and also have all the transport company’s unemployment returns. Most of it not too difficult but takes time to do them and tick off the boxes on top of payroll. So my plan is to not take lunches away but work at my desk while eating. I also plan on working til 5 or later (depending on if I’m the only one there or not). Five is safe. Wednesday after work I have a hair appt and I’m not changing it. So that will be my mid-week reprieve. But at last resort, if I feel I need to, I’ll go in early on Wed, Thurs and Friday as well. The goal being not to have to work on Saturday. I really don’t want to give up my personal time when life is already lopsided, and with so much going on. So I’ll be trying to get all that done. I just absolutely detest the last week in a quarter. I don’t like the stress you go through. I often don’t have the data I need until the last 10 days of the month and usually it’s Thursday and Friday and a part of Monday when I can work on things because of payroll. Anyway, it is what it is, and I will be what I will be, and I will either get it done, or not. But here’s to trying. One thing is for sure. I’ll not be living there. I don’t mind working a little longer on an already long enough day, but I don’t want to give up my weekend especially when so much is on our shoulders right now.

The TRIBE has spoken. lol. Hopefully my tribe doesn’t look like that. But I couldn’t find any pixel pics with a survivor tiki torch, lol. So here ya go! If we get through this week alive, we will have SURVIVED for sure.

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Projects and Challenges

I also was able to work on the next video and it’s coming along good. I’m about half way through editing I think. I have a LOT to cut out though as it’s too long. Need to add some graphics and fun stuff. The next video is when we moved a lot of things with the cargo van on Memorial Day weekend. So I am pleased we have a lot of footage. I am enjoying the time I get to work on it. It seems to be good for me to blog once on a weekend and have the next day to work on videos, so basically I think I have decided to blog or edit – every other day. It’s a good mix. I don’t get to do any of it on Tuesday’s due to having to go in early to cover for the eye appointment days, but oh well, it’s for a good cause. That automatically checks off “doing something for someone” for that day, lol.

The challenge. Yes it is going about 3/4 to plan. Last week, when not getting enough sleep, and running on edge, I was in survivor mode and I tend to eat horribly and don’t have time to think about what good things I need to be doing. I am simply in survivor mode. Then when people say things like “oh you can’t have that you are on a diet”, it makes you feel even worse – because they are trying to remind you of your failure – whether intended or not – I take it as sort of a mocking of you. And that is why they say “just don’t tell anyone” so you don’t have THAT mess going on. So I was feeling unaccomplished and like a failure last week having woofed down a greasy burger and fries on a hungry whim. And then feeling guilty. But after sitting back and thinking about it, here’s my thoughts.

No I’m Not a Failure if I’m Improving

This is in regards to a challenge I set for myself to drink more water, do something for others each day, read and improve myself, move more, and eat more whole foods. While I’ve not met every goal perfectly, I can see I’ve made improvements and hitting at least 3/4 of the goals if not higher. I can’t allow myself to feel bad for that.

  1. I’m trying to improve myself. A lot of people don’t even try. Or if they do it’s half-ass done with no commitment. I’m committed at least to trying.
  2. I’ve installed a 5 column improvement plan all at once in my life, of which most will be able to stick. Most folks have a hard time with one thing, but five? I need to be proud of that.
  3. If am only 3/4 of improved then that is better than sliding backwards and only being 1/2 improved.
  4. The being aware of water intake, what works, what doesn’t – is something that is working well. While I may not hit 94 oz I can see now that with minimal effort, I can hit 75 with ease. And on the days I don’t half try I’m in the 60’s. I know the containers to use to easily establish how many oz. I’ve learned the various containers and ounces they are. I can look at something and tell. That is worth a lot. I’m getting to the point where I don’t have to calculate it as much.
  5. The doing things for others. I realized I did more for others than I thought. And while I still could do more calculated efforts at helping others, the underlying current to do more for others has developed under my scalp (noggin) to stick in the days ongoing after the challenge. So the 55 days is doing what it should. All the days of my life now I will be thinking when I get up and go to bed – “did I do something for someone today?”.
  6. The reading. I’ve developed within me that it is ok to read – for pleasure and for improvement. Even if it’s just a chapter. I mean 5 pages a day. I do it easily now! It helps with insanity too, lol. You know you are doing something for yourself. And in my pillar or column, spiritual guidance was a part of that reading. The other part of the reading could be learning instead – like YouTube subjects, or for pleasure, b/c happiness and contentment is a goal and pleasure reading is ok.
  7. The nutritional part. The one dessert a week has saved me many moons of calories (I know that is not correct grammar wise but it sounded good didn’t it?). I’m doing great at adding my greens and much better at the fruits. Most days I’ve hit the goal for those two. Imagine if I had eaten all the dessert I wanted. I’d have have a full dessert every night because it’s in the house. I’ve saved myself 6 desserts but instead can have a small bit of chocolate (two bites is better than a whole dessert).
  8. The hardest part is “embracing the Whole Foods”, being around others who don’t. It’s a huge temptation. And going into the challenge I had said “I’ll not be giving up the western diet as a whole, but I’ll be trying to embrace as much Whole Foods as I can for the long haul”. This is the hardest part, but at least I’m improving. I know what my weaknesses are and need to develop plans for those – like having to go foods in the car or purse for those insanely times I’m caught out w/o food and end up doing drive thru’s.
  9. The movement. I’ve not been at 80 movements EVERY day. But I have most days. And I think of moving quite a bit now during the day. And try to move – even at odd times – while changing clothes, while waiting on the microwave, and even while in bed. I can do leg lifts and arm punches! lol. I may not have had perfect days every day but I’ve moved lots more. And the walking 20 min each week I’ve met. I’m due though for that and may try to get a walk in after work if not for lunch today but I’m trying not to take lunch so that is a goal conflict right there. But we’ll see. At least I’ve been mostly perfect with that goal too. I chose not to walk yesterday to push through a different goal that I needed to do and was not going to get done if I didn’t finish so I think I made the choice I needed.

So yeah, to be 3/4 improved is very good! I’m moving in the right direction. I shall not let myself or other’s take that away from me. Isn’t it horrible that you have people in your life that thrive at your failures, people that don’t support you in your goals, or never say how proud of you they are, never cheer you on, never think of good things you do, never brag on you, those that are negative and only have mostly ugly things to say about others, that can’t think of any good anyone does. We need to be sure and surround ourselves with the right people in our lives. Those that support you and what you do and those that cheerlead and want to see you succeed, not gloat at your missing of the marks. And if not, at least I have ya’ll and myself!

The Tribe has Once Again, Spoken. 😉

Weathering a Taxing World

Tropical Depression Ida

Our clouds have looked like this the last couple of days from Tropical Depression IDA. I’m hoping for sunshine today but enh – it doesn’t really matter. It will be what it will. We have had rain but with breaks at times. As our weather woman said “it’s coming in waves”. As I got out of the car yesterday morning, the wind blew my umbrella inside out immediately. I had to switch from the little umbrella to the big one as torrents of rain fell from the sky. I had driven the back roads instead of the interstate. The interstate is starting to scare me because of the latest “bloom of idiot (likely on drugs) drivers” that can’t drive and cut you off and drive 100 (or try to) in traffic that is doing 55. Their game is weaving in and out like a Nintendo game. What they don’t know is that we will see them on the news in the morning or upside down clogging traffic while ambulance crews arrive. I don’t want to be in their game or on the news. So I’m starting to take the back roads more and more and that of course takes longer with the red lights. ::sigh:: Long story short – neither umbrella protected me from the rain. I was a soaking complete mess from head to toe walking just 40 feet or so from the front door. I had to dry off with paper towels.

Too Much Work and No Play Make for a Tropically Depressed Sonya

Mostly my efforts this week have been toward the work front. I’ve put in a lot of hours extra, which are my “deposits” for Mom’s doc appointments. I go in early on Tuesdays all month to cover the afternoon of the “eye injection” appt once a month and I’ve been staying late 30 min across 4 days this week to cover the Friday morning heart test she has. That way I get my work done and my “allotment” of hours in. I’m salaried but I want to make sure I get the hours in! With the way life is right now this year, I could easily be gone hours from every day just trying to get Mom’s life situated, and my own life done, lol. So I have to make sure I get work done!

Some of the appointments have had to be pushed out too because inevitably the day the doc is in – is on a Tuesday when I’m doing payroll or a Monday afternoon when I’m doing time sheets. lol Rolling my eyes. Her reading of the heart test is a month away b/c the doc and I could not get our schedules to work. I hate it but unless she is willing to uber, it has to wait for a non-payroll related day. It’s not easy to just tell someone else to do payroll. It’s a very finicky process and one in which if you hit the wrong button it WILL explode! lol. It’s always best that the one used to doing it – does it. It’s easy for me now, but even I worry I’ll hit the wrong button. I always sleep better on Tuesday night than I do Monday night before payroll!

Some things happened lately that made me want to give up on a few things. Or change a few things. It’s really all up to God. He sets the paths. There’s just been a few situations where regardless of the efforts of my own, LIFE and or others, or situations have tampered with, changed the situation, or caused a stumbling block – likely none intentional – but it is what it is. And it is just so discouraging, to know the efforts you make to just be less than stellar because of the circumstances and it makes YOU look bad. I’ve just had to give it up worrying over it. It’s nothing I could have done, I did what I could do with what I had at the time. I made the pot with the clay I had in my hands – that is the best way to put it. If you have rotten clay the outcome will not be a beautiful piece!!!!! And yes I do make mistakes and can make mistakes so put that on top of it. We all do regardless of trying your best. But yes at least everyone is trying – with the mangled world and data we have.

My unhooking skills (different from uncaring) have come in handy. When you Unhook and then attach said situation to God, it suddenly becomes a winning situation. I no longer have to worry. God deals with the spirits and principalities of this earth or UNIVERSE as they call it, so I don’t have to. He has the power to overcome.

Weathering the Taxes in a Virus Ladened World

This was on the calendar yesterday. And it’s funny, considering the issues WE have at work with the tax returns. We have had some tax returns to come back. I guess the IRS workers finally came back to work. lol. I do *some* of the tax returns, not all of them and I do them modeling the “big return” that someone else does when I do them. I also make sure they match the numbers I’m given. And I also make sure that I report on Schedule B the payments I made, exactly as I made them. But then the “dreaded virus” credits the government allows changes things and messes the whole thing up. I was asked to change a number on a return because of the credit and when I did – then my payments didn’t match the return but I didn’t realize it at the time. I thought I was “done”. lol. I think I was supposed to have made a credit in the payments too but I didn’t know it or wasn’t told to. (My ability to read minds IS pretty good but not perfect.) So it came back.

Then another time I was given the same tax form for a payroll two weeks in a row instead of the correct week and so I noticed on the return I had paid one week twice. I can’t imagine how I could have fouled that up when I just pull the tax form from that company’s payroll each week and pay it that week. I wouldn’t have gone back and pulled the last week tax form and made a copy as there is no copying, I simply pull what is given and pay it the week given. Anyway, when you see a tax paid the same number back to back when I did the return- it was suspicious. So I had to go ask for the correct payroll week for that week I didn’t have and apparently never had – then owed more $. Which I paid but it was late at that point. So we’ll owe interest as it didn’t show up until I did the return.

Anyway, I’m not an accountant! So the federal returns are not something that comes easy for me. I just have to model the big one and then work it til the numbers finally match, but then the credits come and it messes the whole thing up. You add these things, others errors, plus any I make, and it makes me look like I’m goofing the whole thing up. But I’m sure they (the big guys in the company) probably know I don’t file all of them. It’s not just me – but the credits, the other things that went afoul and then anything I missed or didn’t realize – makes the returns come back. But I’m choosing to let it go because it what it is and not much of it is in my control.

I am a payroll person though and I enjoy doing the withholding taxes and returns and the unemployment taxes and returns as apart of the accounting side of it, but I don’t like doing the federal tax return for one of our companies that I have to do because of all the credits and ins/outs. It amazes me how the numbers can match and it’s still wrong, lol. I’m not even sure why this position was assigned to do the federal return itself when more capable others are in the building that are familiar with the credits and what they are doing and what is going on with all that. Anyway, I just try to make the numbers match and even then it’s wrong. So go figure. I just make the tax payments but probably NOT the best person to do the return itself since I’m not involved with the credits and figuring all that. God gonna have to do them from here. I’m afraid to touch them with a ten foot pole now.

And I’m just not really one that is used to dealing with that or the credits happen after the fact and mess it up into the next quarter. It gets confusing and it’s not something I have to deal with every day. So my mind is just not wrapped around this I guess.

Then there was an annual tax that I thought was paid at the end of the year. I mean – an “annual” tax is what it is called. But apparently we make quarterly installments. Who knew? lol If I weren’t so bummed about it I’d laugh. Maybe one day.

I am shaking my head though. Not a lot I can do. It’s just a bit over my head with my level of accounting experience, but I absolutely love doing the withholding and unemployment returns. Payroll also remains a first love! But those federal tax returns. Ugh! I am totally afraid to touch anything with them now. I wish they would go away. lol

Meanwhile in Texas

Someone is enjoying himself in the mirror. He sees a baby! He loves the baby! He also loves his basket of toys! He’s sitting up good and on the verge of crawling. But having trouble lifting that belly off the ground! He swims instead. He’s so close as he’s pushing his knees up and he’ll go in circles on the floor.

Look at those fat rolls on his arms!

So the rest of the week – finish out payroll and tax responsibilities at work and get my nails done one night and Mom to her heart test on Friday where they see if her valve is working properly.

The house is coming along – dry wall up and windows in! They are waiting on the brick to arrive. That is next I think.

The weekend plans are building which is not much. KFC one night and burgers on the actual day. Not a lot of plans to go anywhere. I have plans to fall decorate and plans to work on files and start the next video.

Better go. I’m now running late since I didn’t have anything to say today (I thought) but I did!

So what are your Labor Day plans for those of you who celebrate?

Finished Puzzle, Flooring Costs, Stomach Issues, and Good Deed Failure

It is finished! I enjoyed working it. I’ve decided we shouldn’t try to work another until after flooring is done. One less thing to put up on a whim. I think Mom would enjoy it more if she a comfy place to sit. But it’s hard to work a puzzle from a recliner chair! Anyway I will get another puzzle after flooring is done.

Flooring Update

So the estimates came in. Whew! Had we done this a year ago or more I imagine it would have been a few thousand cheaper. The price of waiting definitely has its price. So a 14K upgrade it is! That is with labor and everything. It is not scheduled yet. George just got the email with the details. We will look at scheduling it next. We do have a lot of SQ FT in the house so I knew it would be bad. I was thinking 10K or more and George was thinking 12K.

George is thinking we need to go ahead and prep for “the moving of the rooms around” for the carpet. I’m thinking we need to buy some rubber tubs – one for each room – to set things in. All the Nic Nacs and such. So I don’t have to try to remember where it all goes. We can use the tubs later for moving Mom’s things that she is using now, and then we can keep them for our own storage items for the basement. We can use them. But I need to get a good deal on the tubs.

Tummy Issues

Mom and I both have had tummy issues. She has had upper issues and I’ve had lower issues. We cannot narrow it down really. We have all eaten so much lately. George is fine.

I have a box of Life cereal in my office and enjoy that with Vanilla Almond Milk about once a week. I love the Cinnamon flavored Life.

Despite not feeling too good, I ate quesadillas from Santa Fe. I forgot to say beef instead of chicken. And had memories of the chicken enchilada from Oscar’s the other night. I ended up picking the chicken out to inspect it, LOL. It was good but I wish I had gotten the steak or beef version, considering how Taco Tues turned out.

We did not go to the Trivia night as our neighbor had to work late. I was not feeling it anyway and neither was Mom so was relieved in a way. I just needed to relax and take it easy.

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So the beloved coffee pot would NOT work this morning. It almost seems like we have some kind of evil spirit after us, trying to bring us down. First my car, the kitchen sink clogged, the washer leaked and that pipe clogged, the new lights fell, the lamp fell, the shrimp bowl broke, and now the coffee pot. Really, taking away our beloved nectar? Don’t NOBODY touch the wine! lol

Remember how Maisy used to stare at me? Now Fancy is doing it. She is trying to read my face somehow. We finished watching Ten Commandments. She stared at me nearly the whole time. It was funny.

Good Intentions Quickly Goes South

Something happened yesterday that made me very sad and kinda ruined my day. We had a retirement party last week for a coworker and had sandwiches from Panera. We had a lot of leftover boxes. I put them in the fridge. That was a week ago. Yesterday I reached in the fridge to get water, the first time in over a week and I noticed boxes still in there. So I tossed them out so no one would get sick.

Then, about an hour or two later, I was told that those were not from last week but from yesterday at an event off site. I was told not to bother anything in the break room again unless I asked first.

I felt soooo bad.

I threw away 6 boxes. That is 6 lunches. I had saved the chips. Even the cookies were hard as rocks so I tossed them. Maybe I saved someone a tooth. lol Who’d have thought though?

So lessons learned. Leave the fridge cleaning to someone else and stay out of it. It’s unlikely that I will go and ask if I can clean the fridge, lol. I kept thinking yesterday I can’t win for losing. I mean what were the chances? It kinda ruined my day yesterday. I try so hard to do good things, to help, only to do the wrong thing. Naturally I offered to go buy more or to pay for them.

Of course it’s foolish to give up doing great things, even if there is a little humor in the cartoon there. God REALLY DOES see the good we TRY to do in the world. Even if others don’t or even if we misinterpret the scene. About 2:30 I kept thinking that if we had fresh sandwiches no one had sent a note about it so how would I have known. And then I felt better. And plenty of others might have thought the same about those boxes not knowing they were fresh so how would anyone have known they WERE fresher boxes and edible. About that time an email came as if I had spoken the thought out loud. Of course it was after lunch by then and most had eaten. I guess someone else thought the same thought about no one knowing, thus the email lol. So I guess there were more boxes that came from somewhere that were saved from my “good intentions”.

Still it kinda ruined my day. But again, lessons learned. I’ll clean my own fridge at home and keep out of everyone else’s. I’ll stick to cleaning the fridge front finger prints and perhaps cleaning the microwave – when I can find time.

I won’t give up on good deeds, but some days you want to.

Everything’s gonna be OK! We just have to focus on making it a good day, continuing to be good people and helping others, but yes, perhaps be a little more persnickety about what deeds we choose to do! OK? Ohhhhh Kayyyy!

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Now on with the day, and to seek more coffee. Because my outlook might not be as bright if I don’t find it. 😉

Oh – taking Mom for the eye injection today. Then will focus on laundry and this next video! I may have to ignore the world around here for a few moments. But I’m hip on getting it done so I can move on to a few other things!

Have a lovely Friday!