Why We Make Lists

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It is Friday, the end of another busy week. And a blessed weekend arises with the rare “nothing” on the calendar. Oh it’s not as if someone hasn’t encouraged us to put things on it. We’ve even said “no” to some fun but last minute invites. But we need this calm before the storm. The already busy season of the last quarter of the year is upon us and we have a triple whammy coming up -Christmas, Mom’s Move, and Year End at Work, and some Travel. Even though much of it is exciting and fun, it all takes time and time is hard to come by. Time is, by far, the most precious “commodity”, if you will, that is hard to come by!

If we sat on a sofa all day and had all day to think and putt, we might not need a list – depends on your memory I suppose. But we don’t.

So why do we bother making lists? Why do we do this to ourselves?

  • We get more done when we have a list
  • We remember what it was we wanted or needed to do when it’s written down
  • We get to do more of what WE WANT TO DO when we are organized
  • With a to do list, you never get bored
  • We desire to live our best life which is not meant to be sitting on a sofa unless that is where we want to be to watch or show or read
  • We don’t forget important things
  • We can prioritize and do the most important things first
  • A list helps us avoid forgetting things and avoid surprises that crop up having done so
  • Planning is important to us as time is precious
  • It’s true: If you don’t plan your own time, other’s will plan it for you
  • When we plan, we are in control of our own destiny instead of just a haphazard feather in the wind
  • We would NOT be organized if we didn’t make lists
  • We LOVE to make lists and choose to embrace them
  • When it’s on a list you don’t have to keep rolling it around in your brain afraid you will forget
  • The lists we make are not just chores, but fun things we’d like or want to do
  • We had rather live an organized life than one of chaos

Filling the Creative Side

If you have read this blog for any length of time, you know that my frustration level increases when I do not get time to work on things that are important to me. There is a creative side of me that I feel I was born for, that I’m not getting to use enough. I can push it down and push it down but then eventually it has to come out. The creative side of me craves to be organized and planned, and have it all together. Let’s switch to third person. lol. She loves to write, be artsy, and create. She longs to be helpful in her creativity to others. She longs to complete her list to make a difference and to feel accomplished. She is there to be creative to make things better. She organizes clutter and chaos into a more perfect world. She puts analysis and meaning to misunderstanding. If she ignores this side of herself she becomes frustrated, impractical, and feels unworthy and unfinished to her calling.

Aside from my persona and wanting to live an organized and improved life and have time for my creative side, I have to be organized. So there’s FT work, there’s George, and now Mom needing extra care, we long to see friends, and there’s our house and of course all of the responsibilities that come with it. There’s doc appointments, houses being built, grandson we want to see, trips we would like to take. There is only so much time in the day.

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My planner has become my 2nd Bible. While God leads me along in Bible number 1. My planner is Bible 2! I know it irritates people when I have to pull out the planner to make an appointment or see if we are free. We work FT and my employer naturally expects me to be there for a committed amount of time. While some of it can be tossed around or moved around, I am expected to be there for the bulk of the week. If am to work FT, I must meet this commitment.

But the level of use of my planner this summer has been on OVERLOAD. Usually with just my appointments things are no big deal, I can easily work those in around work. Mom being on board in our family has upped the game with doctor appointments, especially with the two moves, finding and building and buying a house, setting up storage places, selling a house, living with us and reorganizing our place, and it’s brought a bit of anxiety in the juggle of the schedule while trying to work FT.

I know that Mom feels like she is a nuisance. She feels bad. There is no reason to feel bad. It’s just how it is. We have committed to helping to take care of her needs. And it wouldn’t be possible if we didn’t have our planner and our lists so we can try to fit all these things into the puzzle of life.

Recently, we went to the eye doc and we have to make appointments two months out as the doc office appointments fill up. The day they wanted us to come was a day I had plans to pull our Christmas together. I normally have a day to shop and a day to wrap. I know from years of experience what it takes for me to get Christmas ready. I have to have a complete day dedicated to wrapping. So I scheduled it. I was dismayed and didn’t want to have to give that up and suggested another date. And the doc office was able to find a second appointment that worked much better for me. Much to my surprise Mom said “I’m sorry I’m so much trouble” and began to cry and headed off into the hallway without me (can’t see after her shot – yikes) while I was talking to the lady and getting the appointment card.

I don’t know what to do. I explained to Mom – I’m glad they could accommodate us and make it a day I didn’t already have planned. I said it didn’t have anything to do with her, it had everything to do with me being able to get our family Christmas ready. I don’t think she realizes how little time I actually have and how much there is to do. And if I didn’t have my to do list, or a plan, I would simply plop into a chair and be done and not get anything done.

Of course then I’m drained for two days because not only do I end up bearing my own feelings, but of those around me, and what have I done to upset someone and why is this happening. Is it my fault? Did I do something wrong? Is this my punishment for trying so hard? What do I do?

Same day George comes home and says we’ve been invited to a Titan’s game Sunday. I immediately said “no!” He was upset with me, I could tell. He wanted to go but told them to give tickets to someone else. Now again I’ve disappointed someone or made them upset with me. Yet another person’s feelings to bear. But sometimes you have to protect yourself.

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Protecting Yourself

I can only be responsible for my own thoughts and feelings. I know my heart. I know I try to please everyone. Pleasing everyone I’ve learned forty times over, will never happen. Protecting yourself is not selfish. I am doing my best to fit everything in. I seek God and his word the first thing every day – not just on Sunday’s but every day. I put the needs of my family up high and the things we are trying to accomplish together. I try and keep an organized and clean as time allows household. I try to meet my employment obligations. I try and improve myself continually both mentally and physically. I try and maintain friendships. I try to spark my writing and creativity and travel and exploring with what time I have left. Life is busy and it throws curve balls. It takes a lot of juggling to try and fit ALL the pieces of life and its increasing challenges onto the plate of life we have. If I don’t have a list or a slice of time with something written on it – it’ll fall in the floor and get lost, it won’t exist, and that “thing” won’t happen.

Those around me should be happy that I make lists. It’s better for them if I do. And sometimes that means saying no to something else not because you don’t want to see that person or not because that person is a burden (they are not) but because you simply need to move around the pieces to make things work and tick. Embrace those around you that like to make lists and plans. Be glad and grateful that they do. That means they are productive, they care, and they are trying to live their best life.

It may mean they have to say no to spur of the moment activities. If you have gone at 500 mile an hour speeds for several days and it’s 7 p.m. and you want to sit on your sofa and read or watch Netflix – so be it. It’s each person’s decision to make and do what they want with the time they have. Each person knows his own needs not to be judged by another. We don’t have to accept every obligation just because the time is not filled already.

And I could type more but – you guessed it – the time and planner says I need to go to work! My personal allotment of time is now over and probably for the day. I’m going to work and work on Friday payroll prep and unemployment returns, then I have plans to get a mani/pedi after work because it’s been a heck of a week so far and I’m overdue. I will plan to sit and read all 263 personal emails while there, one of which is about Mom’s closing of her house coming up. And then I’ll come home, eat, throw in laundry and sleep.

More tomorrow! Lord Willing and the planner calendar is not overthrown. 🙂

Saturday Excursions and Progress on House Building, Health Challenge, and To Do Lists

Well Nadine’s in Hermitage is not very pretty, but we dropped Fancy off for her trim and headed over to this “Pizza Hut turned Diner” restaurant. They have an excellent breakfast. I suppose it is much better than IHOP or Waffle House, and we thoroughly enjoyed it.

We are vowing to go next door to the Butt Hutt for take out ribs one day. It’s on our bucket list.

We had a good little day out. George got to go to some yard sales and we went to Houston’s Meat Shop (local butcher store in Mount Juliet). We bought steaks for tonight. Mom stocked up on their biscuits which are homemade but frozen. We bought a few other things for the freezer for later. We manage to keep the freezer’s full in today’s pandemic and pandemic aftermath as these are weird times and there are rumors of food shortages and supply shortages with our economy scrambling. I guess most nations are going through the same? Here’s Mom going into Houston’s. She’s wearing her mask.

They also have a little market also. We love to go in here. We always go here when we want a steak or to stock up on chicken. We also stop when we are having company for breakfast for their biscuits. Makes it easy.

After stopping at the house and dropping off frozen goods (we live so close to here) we took Mom to see her house. We didn’t think the garage door was installed but it is. If. you look closely you can see it and the little handles. Look at the garage at the house next door, how it has those little handles at the bottom – well if you look close at Mom’s garage area at the top you can see the little handles. They have it installed it’s just up because they are working on it.

I hadn’t realized it was going to be Tudor style, I had pictured it with stone decor like the others. The outside color and materials were not something you could pick. But it looks nice. It’s certainly coming together. Mom was upset that her front door had window panes as she said she had asked for a solid door. I don’t remember. I remember them asking about the door knobs and maybe the type of design within the door itself but don’t remember any talk of windows being in it or not in it. I’m not sure if Mom and I assumed it was all door and no windows. In today’s world I’m surprised that it WOULD have a window. She’s looking at the contract and we can’t really tell from that. I think she may call about that on Monday. I knew there would be things to crop up that she would not be happy with and I’m sure there will be more. I guess she will have an option to change it afterward. At least I think so. I’m not sure if they consider that part of the outside or not. It may be. I also would not like to go to the door when the door bell rings and be subject to whoever is standing there. People could look in on you. I like to have the option of acting like I’m not home if a salesperson or someone else I don’t want to talk to comes to the door (mostly sales people, lol). So I get it. I’d be upset too. Only I probably wouldn’t have noticed til I got in there. Mom is worried someone will break the glass and twist the door knob. She can get blinds to go over it I guess but you think that they would just have a solid door and a peep hole. Oh well. I mean as far as that goes, there’s windows all around so they could break in to those too. What’s the difference? She wasn’t upset with the windows though.

But it was good to see progress. I wish we could have gone in. But they were working on it and the weeks are soaring by fast so we’ll be seeing it soon and hitting the ground running. It’s VERY exciting. I’m excited for Mom and I’m looking forward to helping her get set up. We’ll have a busy season of decorating and unpacking and setting it up to get her functional and then she can go through boxes one at a time for her 30 years of accumulation. Ain’t NOBODY got time for that, probably not even her. lol. We will help some and perhaps can get her a yard sale together by next spring or next fall depending on the time frames and how much time we have. The community has a yard sale twice a year and that will be great!

That is her patio there. I think they have to pour the concrete in the upcoming week. She gets an email or a phone call with what they did last week and what they are doing this next week. So this is all coming together. The walk through is Mon Nov 1 and the closing Friday Nov 5th.

Around 2 we picked Fancy up and then I offered to take Mom to get a hamburger. She immediately said yes. Now you know here I get my love of burgers huh? Fancy likes to get her own burger – she gets the meat but only part of the bun of a plain hamburger. She always used to get a burger after her trim. Both Mom and Fancy are happy. I did not get a burger. I had pop corn and that was all I needed until our dinner. George fixed us chicken baked in a sauce, acorn squash, and baked potatoes. I had been craving the baked potato. I only had a little butter on mine. It was all so good.

Knocking the To Do List Out of the Park!

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I’m extremely happy with what all I’ve been able to do despite our day out yesterday. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed the day, was present and mindful and glad we did what we did. But when we were home, I was hitting the ground running. Laundry is done and folded. Sheets changed. Fancy’s blanket is changed out for her little bed. I vacuumed the house. I booked both hotels for our East TN and West NC mountains trip in December. And the big news….drum roll…. I FINISHED THE NEXT VIDEO! ;-). I begin to get cranky when 3 weeks is past and it’s not done. So it was a highlight on my to do list. It will be out soon. I’ve exported it and just have to go through the process of picking out the thumbnail and getting it set up. I’ll come back here and post when it’s out and will also post on social media but frankly it’s just hard to get seen on social media as they squash the links and videos for the most part to get rid of agendas if it doesn’t match the sites goals. I also talk about my vaccine in mine. So even YouTube may not allow this video. It’s mostly encouraging but I did get a fever from the 2nd one and I put that in there so if it’s taken down you’ll know why and you will then have witnessed first hand how our freedom of speech is slowly (more quickly these days though) being taken a way. Not wanting to get off on tangents!

Today’s goals are: getting that video up and posted, likely for a 6 p.m. release time, EST. I have to go the store today, cut George’s hair, do some on line Christmas shopping, make my Christmas lists/notebook where I keep up with everything.

So here’s the To Do List for this past week. I will reset it for the week to come and delete these but I had decided to leave all the check marks there until Sunday because it’s important to see we actually can make some progress, even when we are busy. But I’m so happy and glad to have worked hard and knocked a lot of it out of the park this week. Now THAT’s what I’m talking about!!!

KYD55 Challenge Progress

The challenge is going well. This set up of this, I can tell you, has just been amazing. Here’s what works:

  1. You are not only working toward a health/wellness goal, but also personal goals, and also helping others as well. It’s just all encompassing. (Five pillars of: nutrition, water, moving your body, service to others, reading for goals).
  2. The goals are attainable.
  3. As I’ve said before you can choose to make it what you wish, although they gave us guidelines, it’s exciting to see that you could take this structure and do all kinds of things with it. You could take the 5 pillars and make them different things. Or within those same 5 pillars you can make your own rules.
  4. I can see how the 55 days is to set a habit. These were small changes that I can see as being able to carry on continually. Some small changes that turn out to be big ones to set you off in the right direction.
  5. The limits I set for myself are working- like dessert once a week or two bites if I absolutely have to have it. This is huge! It’s worked. Now I did have “two big bites” on those mini Nothing but Bundt cakes – my “two big bites” there might have actually been 4 but you know what, there were three other nights that I said NO to dessert because it was not a part of my goals because I was setting new habits. And it was ok. I have frozen pineapple chunks if I absolutely have to have something. This is huge for me.
  6. The movements have been big. I just do 80 exercises throughout the day. Arm lifts, leg lifts, windmills, toe touches – all during the day so that I have 80 before bed. Do you know how easy this is? It works. I have been able to do a 20 min walk once per week. Maybe on another challenge for 55 days of needed change – I’ll work on adding it to two a week. This is huge also b/c you are slowly changing your habits to what you want it to look like instead of just setting goals you can’t attain and then get discouraged.

I’m just so happy with it. There have been a few days where I’ve been short on the water goals. I think I slow down when I see I’m doing good and then forget and then the day is gone. But for the most part I’m doing it and as long as I get in about 75 at least I’m good, but 94 is my goal. Flushing those kidneys and liver out.

I’ve also listened to three nutrition Podcasts – part of my bucket list goals and also part of my KYD55 goals. So I’m trying to work some Apple Cider Vinegar into my diet. The nutrition podcasts I listened to were really kinda leaning toward the KETO side of things. I’ve chosen to embrace Whole Foods as much as possible. I’m not totally giving up the “western diet” but for the most part trying to make better decisions toward eating healthier and real food. I like the word “embrace” that is powerful to me and it repeats itself in my head. I’m holding on, clinching to it, and that helps my psyche to know “this is the route I want to take”. It’s subtle changes in the diet, but when making my decisions – this is working. When I pick things up at the store, when I take things to work, when I pick things out in a restaurant. The only thing I’m not doing is making everyone around me eat like I do. If George fixes pizza or we go out for a burger – I’ll eat it. But I’m trying to make better decisions and will order the best options I can, remembering what I’m choosing to embrace as “my thing”.

After 9 days, my arms feel less fat, my chin feels less fat, my stomach is begging to flatten just a tad – I can feel some burning of fat taking place.

What’s not working

My legs have been very weak this week. My guess is that the new Vitamin D’s I’m taking are not getting through, not being absorbed. I looked and felt of them closely. It was a new brand I tried claiming to have more in them. But the shell was harder than most and I’m not sure that it was a natural shell or casing. So I’m going to have to order some of what I had been using. I can’t afford to not be able to walk and I’ve been having issues simply just getting up from a chair because my knees and legs are so week. It’s very scary. I’m almost to the point of being like Mom and she is 20 years older than me. So I must get this under control. I do think I damaged my knee doing pushups and so I had to give that up. The ISA shakes from the wellness company I use help with leg weakness and also the Vitamin D does when working. So I have to figure this out. This past week has been difficult for getting up out of a chair and also for climbing stairs. I’m only 59. This should not be happening. So I have to figure this out and quickly.

I’ve rallied on enough here. It’s been nice to blog on a day without restraint, without looking at the clock, and without hurry.

Hope you all are doing well and I’m gone on to eat breakfast and shower and try to get this video loaded and get George’s hair cut.

Are you all having a good weekend?

Anger, Resilience, Determination and First Day of Starting New Habits

It is Friday morning here just before 6:00 a.m. And I’m glad for a small break of a weekend if you can call it that. It’s been a busy and wooly week. By that I mean stressful. And I mean in nearly every aspect. It’s month end/quarter end at work and issues are never ending at home.

I can sit there with an average to moderately perfect work load for 6 weeks with things rolling along like silk but let it be quarter end, and that is when everything has to happen at once it seems . For example this quarter end: new garnishments arrive, employee’s suddenly need 12 weeks of their check stubs, we hire people in new states and new tax accounts have to be set up, new sets up in the system don’t take and the tax records come out wrong, computer glitch emails decide not to show up because a server changed causing a domino impact – no emails of receiving PTO requests, caused things not to be paid, causing me to have to set up funding on emergency card, surprise payrolls occurred at the last minute after reports are printed, therefore needing a reprint. You know, the typical full moon scenario where Murphy’s law kicks into high gear. It’s like all the fans at a football stadium trying to enter the same door on game day all at once. lol. You plan to stay ahead but not everyone does so it leaves you doing things two and three times over and shaking your head going “what just happened?”. It’s like a double full moon. Only it’s not a full moon.

And then there is home. I’m trying to stay above water. Mom’s next Move is looming as her closing nears and the final touches are made on her new home. I’ve planned out the PTO for the year so I’ll know what I can use for her move. I turned in my requests since it involves Fridays so someone can plan to be there in my absence to sign A/P checks for the dates I will be out. I get home and Mom announces we have to go pick out new flooring. Well that’s 1/2 a day I’ll need off as the Design Center doesn’t open on the weekends – shame on them. I blurted out to George “I may as well just quit my job.” I felt bad for saying it. I’m just overwhelmed at work right now and having just planned the PTO for the rest of the year – it just hit me at the wrong time.

I’ve feared for my job because we have had multiple doctor’s appointments – both hers and mine and I’ve even put off having some of my critical ones – such as my colonoscopy and gynecological appts – even with having pain in my abdomen at times – just so I don’t take off so much. But if I took off as much as I needed – there would be no time for work. So I’m trying to keep a Full Time job here and the struggle is real.

And this is where I get very angry and mad at my sister for not being here to help. I’m sorry, but this is life and life is real. And I am very angry right now at life in general. And it doesn’t exclude my anger toward her absence. I’ve decided that anger is ok. You let it come and go. I’ve been sitting here for a few weeks reading two chapters a day about God’s anger against his people for the things they have done wrong. If He can be angry. So can I. The difference is He destroyed entire cities of people when they didn’t turn their ways. I won’t do that. lol I’ll let him be the judge and handle any punishment He has in store. But I’m angry and I am acknowledging it. We need help but we are all being shunned here and I, much like the Lord, do not take that lightly. I’m doing a lesson on how to forgive when someone keeps doing the same things (or not doing what they are supposed to). I mean how do you deal with that? How do you forgive when you can’t forget and it’s in your face every day? This is not ok, and it’s a situation where this lack of action will NEVER be ok with me. The damage that is done, is not repairable where it is not fixable. I don’t get it. None of it.

But yet another day has passed, and the sun comes up as we look through it from our dirty windshields of our lives. Another opportunity to try and fix our anger, fix what is broken, fix the world, fix our schedules, update our PTO requests, try again to lose weight, try again to keep everyone happy and satisfied and settled, and get another cup of morning coffee as we watch the sun rise upon our day and our continued “opportunities”.

What a way to start October 1st. The day of my new challenge. A day of 55 days to create hope of having new behaviors, new ways, new habits. More water intake, a healthier diet, more reading to reach goals (including forgiveness), an increase in serving others, and increased movements. Any improvements to be made will be helpful. SMART goals set! They are attainable! And I can’t think of a better time than now, because I need hope that things will be better.

At lunch yesterday I made this tracker. Just to help me focus. It’s not as detailed as I like but simple is better. I know what my move goals and reading goals are so there is no need to have a check box but I think I do need the reminder/tracker for the food parts.

This week, I feel like I’ve let my self be crushed under the weight of it all. I kinda feel like this old house in our neighborhood looks. I have felt insufficient, incomplete, not enough and it has left me angry and ultimately like an old wet noodle that just wants to slide down the table and land on the floor in a heap and just be done. I feel like an old battered house that is just an eye sore and a detriment to all. A body that can do no good, but only harm. I try so hard. With so little to show for it.

But that is not me. No I’m resilient, determined, and I don’t stay down for long. I cling to hope, dreams, goals, plans, and keep trying. I keep trying to do what I’m supposed to do- to work, to care for those around me, and to try to make something of my life – even if my only successes are little. My spirit is stomped but I’ll be back.

The good news is Mom texted yesterday while I was at work and said “flooring situation solved”. They found something same color but bigger planks. So we don’t have to go in. Another day off averted. It was not going to be good to take off this month during quarter end. I can’t even get time to even work on quarter end with all the other stuff going on at work. So being off would have been an issue. So one issue is averted.

I always get the new planner in October. We are already looking at the first of the year. Flights must be made for Texas and rental car booked.

It’s Oct 1 and it will be busier than an airport at the holidays every day from here until about March. March 1 is becoming my new year in my head. January is going to be busy. February will be a catch up and catch all month. March I can start new things, new programs, new solutions, new goals for the blog, YouTube, and life in general.

Ahhhhhhh. Lord help us all. Hang on! It’s gonna be a crazy ride for the next few months as we move Momma, get ready for and “enjoy” the Holidays, as tired as we’ll be, and get Mom settled in the new place, and head to Texas, do m/e, q/e and y/e at work in Jan (help us all). Feb and March hopefully of 2022 will bring a sigh of relief, and maybe a new dog? That alone makes me smile, but we gotta get through all this first.

I’ll see you for a quick moment in the morning! I’m so glad it’s Friday!