In the last two weeks, I have been sick but have still kept pushing. I’ve met deadlines at work, deadlines at home, got my Mom to her doc appointments, missed my own, and have been working hard on the house for our life group coming this Sunday.
Last Sunday I developed vertigo, and had to do the Epley Maneuvers to pull out of it. It’s mostly much better but sometimes I feel like I’m about to have another spinning episode or some kind of seizure. I am afraid to sleep on my right side as it sends me for a spin sometimes.
Today I developed some kind of weird pains in my body that came and went. Acetaminophen finally knocked it. I was afraid I was having a heart attack. I had pains in my chest, arms, ear, neck. But I finally determined it was muscle related. Sometimes my skeleton gets out of alignment and it will hurt in those areas both the skeleton and my muscles. I know it’s because I have hunkered down on my left side to sleep without rotating sleeping sides.
Anyway, long story short. I’ll be fine. But this week, (and last and the one before that) getting the videos done have been hard. I’ve not felt good. And while some days it was fun, other days it felt like a chore.
So I think it’s time for a break. I am calling it a vacation. We get vacation time at work, so why not from our hobbies or work we do at home. I just need to rest, relax, and get well.
I’m still very much not feeling good. Most days I have spells where I just need to be in bed. I push through b/c I need my PTO days for other things. I push through to meet my deadlines.
Then we have company coming Sunday. Mostly George is cooking. We are both getting the house ready. And I’m only making the 7 layer salad. I’m looking forward to our group coming to our house and seeing where we dwell. Although I am a bit nervous b/c our house is not as neat or modernized as everyone else’s, but it’s ours we like our place with it all it’s little “zones” of happiness. So we are excited to welcome them into our world.
But I’m really tired ya’ll. I think the last 2 to 3 years has really taken its toll on me as a whole. I feel very much like a robot. I have a hard time getting things done. And I’m losing my inspiration. I’m losing my idea bank and my creative zone. I know I don’t get time to put anything else in motion so I’ve lost the desire to try to learn new things – there’s just no time. The time, it is all used up. I have to fight sleep to even get to read. When I’m well, I can keep up and at least try. But right now, I’m losing my will to try.
I just need rest. I’ll probably still blog, but I think I will take a week or two off of the video after this Saturday. I reserve the right to change my mind, but I think I’m just not doing very well. My mind, body, and soul needs to heal and I need to rest. And I will rest in Him. I mean even God took a day off after creating the world. He wanted us to have a day off for a reason. My days off are always so busy.
So I’m probably going to take some time off from YouTube – a week or two. You watch the videos will grow like wild fire when I take off trying to make me jump back in real quick. It always does that and makes me feel guilty for taking off and I feel like I need to create content. But I said I’d back off when it became a chore instead of a passion. And I do need some personal time. I need a vacation so I think I’ll take it. I need to do some mindless things like reading for fun, working a puzzle, and forgetting the rest of life and responsibilities.
So many times I’ve said I just need to go to the beach. The beach is so healing for me. But I don’t see how I can go.
I just need to be able to breathe. I want to be well again! And then I can try to light the world on fire another day.