No, You are NOT a Failure, If You have Made Improvements

Photo by Temo Berishvili on Pexels.com

Weekend Accomplishments

I’m feeling accomplished this morning. I finished a big huge project, worked on the house a bit, did most of the laundry, worked on Christmas orders, bought dry ingredients for Thanksgiving, and ordered things for Mom that she needed, and did great with the challenge. When can I ever say that? Mainly on weekends where we are not gone. I did have say “no” to a last minute invite to the Titan’s game. I wish I could have done both. But with so much on my shoulders right now, saying “yes” would not have been the right answer. Now I have had sleep, and have gotten things in order and prepared for some of the things that lie ahead.

Each night I have slept 9 to 11 hours. That should tell you how exhausted I have been. Most work nights average 6.5 hours and my body needs about 7.5 to function at best. By weekend, I’m usually pretty exhausted and if I have missed any hours of sleep around 1:30 a.m. (often up for an hour or two) that just exacerbates the problem.

This Week’s Goals

The focus this week is on getting quarter end done. I still have several unemployment returns to do on the plant side, numerous tax filings for Oregon which is so “high maintenance”. We all have rolled our eyes at the amount of time it takes with all the various Oregon taxes. I also have a federal tax return and also have all the transport company’s unemployment returns. Most of it not too difficult but takes time to do them and tick off the boxes on top of payroll. So my plan is to not take lunches away but work at my desk while eating. I also plan on working til 5 or later (depending on if I’m the only one there or not). Five is safe. Wednesday after work I have a hair appt and I’m not changing it. So that will be my mid-week reprieve. But at last resort, if I feel I need to, I’ll go in early on Wed, Thurs and Friday as well. The goal being not to have to work on Saturday. I really don’t want to give up my personal time when life is already lopsided, and with so much going on. So I’ll be trying to get all that done. I just absolutely detest the last week in a quarter. I don’t like the stress you go through. I often don’t have the data I need until the last 10 days of the month and usually it’s Thursday and Friday and a part of Monday when I can work on things because of payroll. Anyway, it is what it is, and I will be what I will be, and I will either get it done, or not. But here’s to trying. One thing is for sure. I’ll not be living there. I don’t mind working a little longer on an already long enough day, but I don’t want to give up my weekend especially when so much is on our shoulders right now.

The TRIBE has spoken. lol. Hopefully my tribe doesn’t look like that. But I couldn’t find any pixel pics with a survivor tiki torch, lol. So here ya go! If we get through this week alive, we will have SURVIVED for sure.

Photo by Jess Loiterton on Pexels.com

Projects and Challenges

I also was able to work on the next video and it’s coming along good. I’m about half way through editing I think. I have a LOT to cut out though as it’s too long. Need to add some graphics and fun stuff. The next video is when we moved a lot of things with the cargo van on Memorial Day weekend. So I am pleased we have a lot of footage. I am enjoying the time I get to work on it. It seems to be good for me to blog once on a weekend and have the next day to work on videos, so basically I think I have decided to blog or edit – every other day. It’s a good mix. I don’t get to do any of it on Tuesday’s due to having to go in early to cover for the eye appointment days, but oh well, it’s for a good cause. That automatically checks off “doing something for someone” for that day, lol.

The challenge. Yes it is going about 3/4 to plan. Last week, when not getting enough sleep, and running on edge, I was in survivor mode and I tend to eat horribly and don’t have time to think about what good things I need to be doing. I am simply in survivor mode. Then when people say things like “oh you can’t have that you are on a diet”, it makes you feel even worse – because they are trying to remind you of your failure – whether intended or not – I take it as sort of a mocking of you. And that is why they say “just don’t tell anyone” so you don’t have THAT mess going on. So I was feeling unaccomplished and like a failure last week having woofed down a greasy burger and fries on a hungry whim. And then feeling guilty. But after sitting back and thinking about it, here’s my thoughts.

No I’m Not a Failure if I’m Improving

This is in regards to a challenge I set for myself to drink more water, do something for others each day, read and improve myself, move more, and eat more whole foods. While I’ve not met every goal perfectly, I can see I’ve made improvements and hitting at least 3/4 of the goals if not higher. I can’t allow myself to feel bad for that.

  1. I’m trying to improve myself. A lot of people don’t even try. Or if they do it’s half-ass done with no commitment. I’m committed at least to trying.
  2. I’ve installed a 5 column improvement plan all at once in my life, of which most will be able to stick. Most folks have a hard time with one thing, but five? I need to be proud of that.
  3. If am only 3/4 of improved then that is better than sliding backwards and only being 1/2 improved.
  4. The being aware of water intake, what works, what doesn’t – is something that is working well. While I may not hit 94 oz I can see now that with minimal effort, I can hit 75 with ease. And on the days I don’t half try I’m in the 60’s. I know the containers to use to easily establish how many oz. I’ve learned the various containers and ounces they are. I can look at something and tell. That is worth a lot. I’m getting to the point where I don’t have to calculate it as much.
  5. The doing things for others. I realized I did more for others than I thought. And while I still could do more calculated efforts at helping others, the underlying current to do more for others has developed under my scalp (noggin) to stick in the days ongoing after the challenge. So the 55 days is doing what it should. All the days of my life now I will be thinking when I get up and go to bed – “did I do something for someone today?”.
  6. The reading. I’ve developed within me that it is ok to read – for pleasure and for improvement. Even if it’s just a chapter. I mean 5 pages a day. I do it easily now! It helps with insanity too, lol. You know you are doing something for yourself. And in my pillar or column, spiritual guidance was a part of that reading. The other part of the reading could be learning instead – like YouTube subjects, or for pleasure, b/c happiness and contentment is a goal and pleasure reading is ok.
  7. The nutritional part. The one dessert a week has saved me many moons of calories (I know that is not correct grammar wise but it sounded good didn’t it?). I’m doing great at adding my greens and much better at the fruits. Most days I’ve hit the goal for those two. Imagine if I had eaten all the dessert I wanted. I’d have have a full dessert every night because it’s in the house. I’ve saved myself 6 desserts but instead can have a small bit of chocolate (two bites is better than a whole dessert).
  8. The hardest part is “embracing the Whole Foods”, being around others who don’t. It’s a huge temptation. And going into the challenge I had said “I’ll not be giving up the western diet as a whole, but I’ll be trying to embrace as much Whole Foods as I can for the long haul”. This is the hardest part, but at least I’m improving. I know what my weaknesses are and need to develop plans for those – like having to go foods in the car or purse for those insanely times I’m caught out w/o food and end up doing drive thru’s.
  9. The movement. I’ve not been at 80 movements EVERY day. But I have most days. And I think of moving quite a bit now during the day. And try to move – even at odd times – while changing clothes, while waiting on the microwave, and even while in bed. I can do leg lifts and arm punches! lol. I may not have had perfect days every day but I’ve moved lots more. And the walking 20 min each week I’ve met. I’m due though for that and may try to get a walk in after work if not for lunch today but I’m trying not to take lunch so that is a goal conflict right there. But we’ll see. At least I’ve been mostly perfect with that goal too. I chose not to walk yesterday to push through a different goal that I needed to do and was not going to get done if I didn’t finish so I think I made the choice I needed.

So yeah, to be 3/4 improved is very good! I’m moving in the right direction. I shall not let myself or other’s take that away from me. Isn’t it horrible that you have people in your life that thrive at your failures, people that don’t support you in your goals, or never say how proud of you they are, never cheer you on, never think of good things you do, never brag on you, those that are negative and only have mostly ugly things to say about others, that can’t think of any good anyone does. We need to be sure and surround ourselves with the right people in our lives. Those that support you and what you do and those that cheerlead and want to see you succeed, not gloat at your missing of the marks. And if not, at least I have ya’ll and myself!

The Tribe has Once Again, Spoken. 😉

Fall Transitions, Outings with Family and Friends, and Canon Lessons

I love fall! The changes are slowly evident of our season’s turning from late summer into autumn’s arrival. Our mornings are foggy – especially around bodies of water or low lying areas as the night’s are cooling. I’ve already had opportunity to switch in some longer sleeves, a few thin sweatshirts, and take away some of the thinner and lighter summer clothes from the closet.

I ordered pumpkin spice from that wellness company I use as I’ve waited on this for two years. It is the most divine taste – not too sweet – just right. A better version even than the last, and I liked the last one. With the upcoming “challenge” I’ll be doing a bit more shakes and working them into my mornings and trying to overcome my constant need for a hot breakfast in the fall/winter months. Even in the summer I had not been doing the shakes. I began to associate it with “dieting” instead of the goodness they provide. I had forgotten just how good they make me feel. I’ve been struggling lately with tiredness, muscle issues, musculoskeletal issues, and I remember how these seemed to repair my body. So with challenge ahead and needing some extra help and nutrition, I’m going to be drinking more of these. They will help me toward my goals.

The 55 day challenge is coming up and it will be something I want to commit to as I try and develop habits that stick. I am creating some rules around how to be able to live my life, be healthy, less fat, and still be able to enjoy food like we do. I think one of my rules is going to be one that I’ve heard someone else use. They never say no if there is something they want really bad. They just have “TWO BITES”.

We went to Paula Deen’s last Friday – a group of us girls – in celebration of one of our coworker’s birthday. Look at the goodness of these rolls sat on the table. Slathered in ooooey gooey butter and herbs and cheese. Oh my. They were as heavenly as they looked.

The two bite rule could have been used here and under the 55 day challenge in which I hope to lose 5 lbs, before we go into Thanksgiving, I would have to keep my goals in mind and not eat the whole thing. I think that is doable with me. I would have to get over being wasteful and not eating the rest of the roll, but remember what the butter and fat does to my body.

I’m going to sit my 1 lb of fat around in my room to remind me what losing just 1 lb will bring off my body. Five lbs seems like a small goal. But five of these coming off my body – just imagine!

Here was our Paula Deen “family meal” choices. Catfish, broccoli casserole, Sweet potatoes, macaroni and cheese, creamed corn, beef roast and rice, and chicken and dumplings. The rolls have been attacked at this point. It was a great meal. I had a couple of bites of everything! TWICE, LOL. But keep in mind that my Challenge has not started.

Saturday, since George was going to play golf in Kentucky, I decided to make a plan for my own outing. Because when the guys go play, so do the girls, and usually it’s eating and shopping. (Insert evil grin here. And also please forget that I had just gone out the day before, lol.)

So Mom and I went to eat breakfast at Just Love Cafe in Mount Juliet, a place on my bucket list. The breakfast was wonderful. I had a burrito and Mom had a “Wammollete” or something like that – it was a ommellete wrapped in a waffle. My burrito was a think waffle also as the tortilla. Oh.My.Word. This was so good. I had forgotten my phone and left it in the car so I’m sorry to say that I do not have any pics. I was mad at myself for that. But it wasn’t convenient to go back to the car and get it. I’ll be back and I will take pics next time. I want to go for their lunch. I noticed they had a drive through too. Likely not a lot that would be healthy for breakfast though – but they did have avocado toast – so probably would do that sometime. But they do have nice looking salads for lunch. Once again, glad we did this before the challenge. After the challenge, I have to define – how often would I eat such a breakfast as this? A weekend splurge? Not during the week? Hmmmm. It’s these things that gets one in trouble. I’m sad to say, but I need rules I guess with my eating so I can learn to say “no” or “not now” instead of “yes, yes, yes, and more yes, and I’ll be better tomorrow I promise”. It’s a mindset and it’s a hard one for a lot of us, especially if you have a foodie family and foodie friends. I like being foodie and I like my foodie peeps! 😉

We didn’t do a LOT of shopping. Mom wanted to look for a comforter and some items that she would need for her new house. She wanted to go to Belk but they were not open yet. So we went to Home Goods, a part of TJ Maxx. She found one she liked but didn’t get it yet. She decided she really needed to wait until she saw the place to get a mental pic of the colors and understand what will match. I pulled up what was picked out on my phone but you need a mental pic of the space as well and the total look. So we’ll wait.

Mom sat in the car and I ran in Rack Room Shoes for their Buy 1 and Get 1 half off deals. I found the first pair right off. The next pair took a bit longer but out of site I saw them and tried them and loved them. I considered another set of two but just didn’t really see two other pair that would be basics. I’m really a basics person when it comes to shoes and pants. I like to have one pair that goes with everything in a color set. For shoes that is: black, navy, tan, and either silver, gold, or bronze to blend in with most things. I love my sandals in the summer and have pretty much converted to solid color tennis shoes/walking shoes for work (no stripes or colors so they don’t look sporty). I no longer enjoy wearing loafer type shoes in the winter. I’d rather wear the tennis shoes and same color socks and try to make it look uniform. It may not look dressy but it usually looks “uniform” as I said, and comfortable. I hesitate to call these tennis shoes, but they are most like tennis shoes as they tie or lace up anyway. This seems to do what I need for winter with my work clothes.

I am happy to be able to add these to the collection. I had bought some other black sandals that I wore the past two summers out of desperation as I was looking for these above and couldn’t find them anywhere. Of course last year was a bust at finding shoes in stores and online you can’t try them on. At last, I have them.

The left are my new metallic pair to dress up an outfit, dress up jeans, and just bring an uplift to the look. I haven’t had any like this, the past year or two and I’ve missed the metallic sandals. I often will wear the metallic look instead of white or beige and to go with outfits that are not calling for black or blue or brown. So I’m a happy girl!

I will find some blue sandals in spring. They are the only missing ones. I have some brown and blue croc sandals both, but they have a “gold” metal design on it that I’m not fond of. I bought them til I could find some I really liked. They have been “ok” as I bought them in a hurry a few years ago to wear at our new office when they ruled out the thong type of shoes, that we usually call a flip flop. However, I’ve since realized since then that apparently thongs are ok if they are dressy like the above and I even see and hear others wearing flip flops, so……I decided to go for these on the left as “if they can, I can” and will. ;-). I don’t want to flip and flop but I’m at least going to not rule out thong wearing shoes in the work place if I see others wearing them. And honestly, many of the women’s dressier sandals DO have the thong toe now days. Or it’s a pricier more expensive shoe.

In addition to doing some laundry, cleaning up the kitchen, and fixing spaghetti for dinner, I had made plans with myself to do a Canon lesson. So I watched three videos and also made some changes to the camera that should help me with vlogging. At 58, learning and remembering new skills can be a challenge. But with repetition it slowly sinks in. I’m able to find my way around the various functions. I mean that is half the battle. There are SO MANY setting screens. For now I’m mainly using automated settings on the videos that will help me. But am branching out on the photo side to do more manual settings to get better pics. I did NOT get to do my “photo shoot” this summer to practice that was on the bucket list. I had hoped to work that in yesterday but it didn’t happen. I suppose I can “check off the box though” with some photo shots around the house and call it a day. It’s better than nothing and I need the practice.

When I’m living my life though, I always have my phone available so mostly what you see are iPhone shots. The camera quality seems to be sinking though – is it just me or is the quality getting worse over time? I’m hoping for a newer phone in January. I’d really like to do the new every time upgrade but I think you have to pay so much per month from now on. I’m not sure what is best to do. I have to decide before my birthday but I also will look at it as an improvement to blogging and the videos as well, part of a hobby, and not to mention a HUGE part of our every day life. I’m also willing to give up cable but not sure George is. We seem to watch Netflix and YouTube most of the time. I watch weather sometime during a bad outbreak but I also have my phone and have been my own meteorologist for some time. 😉 I know how to read the radar and no how to tell what’s coming – for the most part. We are paying way too much for cable. But hey, if George wants to pay hundreds to keep cable for himself, then am I in a good position to argue for the “new every time” iPhone via ATT? ha!

This blog has been long enough. There is much to do today. George and I are going to the store to get stuff for beef Bourguignon and I’m probably going to film it. So it’ll be a busy afternoon.

I also have to finish watching a few KYD55 videos and doing some finally planning and defining for this challenge. What is ok and what is not and what my rules are and define my goals and such. Ahhhhhh I always do this to myself. I push and push but it’s worth it when I see and look back and see any growth, any happiness, and any goals met. Can we just retire already? lol Life is much! But the fun is in the journey. Just have to remember that when it gets stressful instead. My heart loves to see progress!