Oh they had the shower for Katy at her school yesterday. So sweet. Love the Christmas theme. I bought her that shirt, hoping with the open front she could wear it. It’s cute. Loving that belly right there. She has one more week of school and then she is out until after the baby is born.
It’s so awesome they can celebrate in this way. Our new normal at work is not celebrating anything, no sharing of food, nada. In remote places life seems a bit more normal. So I’m happy she could have a normal in person shower somewhere. I think the church one is today!
It’s getting closer! And closer!
I was able to get a lot of wrapping done, but still have some more to do today. Not much though. Now I’m moving into “stocking stuffer” mode for George. I’ve searched for hours on Amazon searching various ways. I did find a few things. I hope they fit in the stocking, lol. But some time this week after work I’ll go to the store for other things and then will pick up some things there that I know he will like.
We are also down to the final countdown list as far as liquor and beer run gifts, gift cards, and I will probably buy my two bosses something for putting up with my goofy eccentric self all year, lol. I love working with both of my immediate bosses in my department. They are good to me, nice to me, respect me, try to understand me, patient with me, laugh with me, talk to me, answer my questions, steer me correctly, look out for me, say good morning and good evening to me, generally seem to care. Who is not blessed to have this? They deserve something from me. We all hand papers back and forth all day so I think we’ve already shared germs – it’s like your work family you know. So yeah, I need to do a few things there. And I believe that will finish me up.
Then I’ll focus on the house and then Christmas will be here. Then we focus on getting our bag packed for Texas. And New Years which will mainly just be a good food eatin’ weekend, doing things in the house, watching shows, and getting ready for Texas, and hittin’ the reset button on goals and things.
New Year Reset Button
I love the New Year reset. It may vanish quickly for some, but for me, I DO tend to keep the things in mind I set to do. It seems like even though we may not always attain our New Year goals, we at least need that reset button to reflect where we have been and think about where we will go. IF nothing else, there is that. And I truly believe that our psyches move naturally in the way in which our internal directions (set by God or ourselves) have thought about or inquired. And as we know twists of fate, send us scattering in various off directions unplanned too (in my opinion as a Christian, these are God approved changes). So part God, part us, part fate, part universe – it all transpires somehow. And in 2021 much like 2020, I suspect that most plans will be changed unless you plan to not plan at all. lol But you know me and planning. I gotta give it a good try. That was a heavy loaded paragraph that did and could continue to go off in several directions.
I fixed a pretty awesome spinach salad for lunch yesterday. It had a little goodness to it and a little badness to it. Spinach and carrots and peppers- oh yeah. But then Tyson fried chicken tenders, onion straws, and a dressing that probably was not the healthiest – was a mustard viniagrette but had some canola oil and sugar in it. :-O But I have been craving honey dijon dressing. I could not find it and didn’t really want to make it at home. But I ate this and watched a show or two.
I am getting behind on my YouTube shows. Part due to Christmas and part due to the fact that I was not in a place where I was in the mood to do so. My mind needed to grieve my Maisy girl. I just couldn’t watch happiness in a show. I needed to have that quiet time to release. It’s NOT ok that she is gone. But I guess each day gets easier in that I cry less, and feel a little less sad. I’m crying now b/c it’s still so raw just thinking about her not being here. Going to bed is easier but still hurts. At least I don’t have racking sobs, just a few tears or if tired just a sigh of sadness.
I have found that if I pick this little tiny dog up who has pretty eyes like Maisy, and rub it – strange as that seems – it mimics being able to talk to her. And it’s like she is in here with me. A far stretch from the real Maisy but yet it is comforting and a way to release my sadness. It’s much like my having the sloth that looked so much like Tugie – that sloth that pulled on my heart strings in Portland, Oregon – I passed it up and got home and realized I had to have it. Took me days to search it out and find it but I often pick it up and pet it or hug it when I need to be near Tugie, our deceased apricot poodle. See below middle right, my sloth, LOL.
We do what we have to do to feed and comfort our psyches.
Dinner Last Night – Chicken Rotel Spaghetti
So made this dish last night – as seen on my Instagram – give it a follow: @lesshustlemorecoffee
It was pretty good although for some reason it did not taste as good as Granny’s or Katy’s. Or as good as I’ve made in the past. But we still enjoyed it. George apologized when I arrived with my camera after he’d already sliced into it after it was done. I told him, “no worries – it’s perfect as you can see what is inside”. It’s making me hungry this morning. I haven’t had breakfast yet and it’s almost lunch time.
A New Shopping Website to Behold
Well, I have a new shop I like. It’s one of Katy’s favorites. I saw this while scrolling through instagram yesterday. Aren’t these tops cute? I could do without the reindeer though. But I like all the others. So cute. All of them. Yes one of each please and in big sizes so it’s roomy. I love baggy clothes!
Rogers Sleeping Issues
I’m running so behind this morning. But Mr. Roger has been something else the last two nights. He wakes up and is not happy and wants off the bed. He is continually waking us up and we have to watch and make sure he doesn’t jump off as he’s brave and he will hurt himself. Yesterday, I thought he was having a stroke -and he may have been. He was walking sideways, holding his paw up and losing his balance and his head seemed as if it was heavier on one side and making him lean if that makes sense at all. He is old, very old and not sure how long he will be holding out. I don’t think a trip to vet is worth it. I think we need to let him go naturally if we can until he is at a point where it’s just pitiful. I think we are almost there, but this is George’s dog. He will need to decide when Roger is not having quality of life anymore. It’s hard to let them go. So hard. But it’s hard to see them have a rough time.
Last night George had to put him in the kitchen and living room and shut the door – like we were gone for the day so we could get rest. At 2 or so this morning I got up and went in there. He was pacing back and forth from one room to the other. He finally got in his bed and snoozed after 30 min or so. I went back to bed after about an hour of being up. I slept in late. So my day started late.
My To Do List Today (Sortof):
I’m behind. But here is what is on today’s list – not necessarily in order:
Eat lunch and watch a show
Pick wardrobe for next week
Do Vitamin refills
Update to do lists
Change bed linens
Look up a couple of addresses for Christmas cards (2 I didn’t have addresses for)
Clean my office
Pick up the house
Watch more shows (lol)
Work on iMovie stuff
Work on New Year stuff
I won’t get all that done and there’ll be stuff to pop up that I haven’t even remembered. lol.
Video Channel Update
Oh and future videos. I went to sleep thinking about how to handle the future videos, where I was wanting to go with the vlog and such. I really need to schedule some time to brainstorm a bit and map out all of the things I want to do. I’ve done some of it, but need to do some more. And make myself a schedule of sorts, in order for which to do and accomplish them and improve upon them, and continue learning how to vlog and video.
First things first, I’ve contemplated the absence of Maisy in them. I will need to address a real time update insertion into the next video segment. I will also need to be working on a new intro after the next couple of videos in which we catch up to real time. I need to do a better intro anyway. George and I need to be more up to date as I don’t color my hair anymore. And we don’t have Maisy. I think I’m not going to put Roger in it because I know he will likely not be with us much longer. I was thinking without our dogs and pets, we are just not very interesting. I know that is not true entirely, but I do need to vlog with more intention instead of just showing what I’ve taken pics of and such through the month. Yes those are things we’ve actually done and are part of it, but I DO need more intention and purpose with them and bring that value to others – this is the hard part – do I bring value to anyone through the videos – not a lot, lol. So MUCH improvement to make and I’m glad to pop back into this and see what we can come up with. It’s hard to work full time and do this though, as it takes a lot of time. But I’m enjoying all the process, even if no one else is. As said, eventually I’ll find “my camp” of people and will get better and will have more followers. But in recent days I just did not feel like doing any of these things with the loss of Maisy. It seemed to big of a task to redo the intro or how to even start to do videos without her. I still don’t think I can do a tribute video. It’s just too much for me right now. But these things are on my mind now that the wrapping is mostly behind us and this is coming up on my radar.
The video life would be easier if I didn’t blog all the time. lol. Keeping all the hobbies going is tough sometimes. But in years like 2020 it’s made it easier except that there is little interesting to blog and video about. That is part of my thing for 2021 is to etch in some outdoor experiences and safe places to visit, video, and get pretty photos of. I don’t know, I wish we could go ahead and get a truck and pull behind RV so we could go out on the weekends or even the long weekends and get started with some adventures, but that is not to be. Wow if I could get these videos to be something worth watching and monetize them then that would help fund that project, lol.
Something like this is what I’m thinking will be affordable for us.
I started to ask Santa for one. But, I think it’s a bit too early for George. ha. I did ask for a wide angle lens and pretty excited about that as it’s easier to vlog with. We need the cold weather package and the off grid package both to go to the pretty places off the beaten path. But I’d be ok to plug in to the whole schlimazel – I’m afraid it would be for us city folk getting used to not using water, filling up the tanks fast, cooking without every utensil and spice on hand, small refrigeration, finding our comfort levels in a small space. I get it. A lot to get used to. But we minimize and enjoy the experience and get to go out and see things and be near nature. And see me panic when a storm comes, LOL.
Well enough blogging today. I need to get busy as this day is getting away!
Yesterday was easier. Certainly not a tear free day by any means, and neither is today, but the acceptance is setting in. My Maisy’s death has certainly ripped a big hole in my heart with only emptiness to fill the void. Really all I can do is try to stay on task. Work is pretty easy but at home I don’t want to do anything but curl up into a ball and be. This is kinda putting a pinch on my Christmas wrapping and Christmas excitement. I’m just kinda numb right now to life. I didn’t realize how much my Maisy and I were intertwined at the heart. She brought me such joy. And my joy is now missing. I will find joy again. But it’s ok to acknowledge how much it hurts right now. Matter of fact I know it is healthy to do that. I am happy that I have the blog and good friends.
I snapped a pic of the sunrise coming over our neighborhood yesterday on the way to work. Was a pretty little sunrise. Most of the drive the sun is to my back but it was comforting in a way – a smile from God yesterday morning. A reminder that the Vitamin D is important this time of year especially. Leave for work when it’s dark and come home and it’s dark.
At lunch, it was in the high 50’s at that time and since I had a sandwich and not a meal that required a microwave, I drove to a cute little shady area of our complex. I watched a YouTube video and ate. It was a nice little much needed break. The sunshine of yesterday meant a lot too.
At least there are odd things here and there distracting me. Such odd things happen at our office complex. I mean for goodness sake, there was that BobCat that came and sat in my window at work not long ago. It’s a magnet of a place for odd things to show up. Right now there are these thousands of birds that show up at 4 p.m. every day, as if waiting for a refilm of Albert Hitchcock’s “The Birds”. But here’s a story for ya:
Last week, I walked to the UPS box to drop off an overnight packet. I heard a voice say “Help me, Help me”. It was distant. I looked around and I didn’t see anyone that needed help. I dropped my packet off in the box and turned to walk back to the office and the voice said “No, don’t go!”
I kept walking. Matter of fact I picked up the pace. It sounded like it was coming from a near RV lot. I thought I hoped someone had not gotten locked inside one and couldn’t get out. I finally settled on the fact that it was probably someone messing with me from a nearby hotel room. The voice didn’t sound urgent after all but had a more playful tone. I decided I was NOT going to investigate. I didn’t want to be a missing person mentioned on the news. Would I qualify for a Silver Alert? lol Probably not yet.
I knew it was not God. I mean after all, if God was yelling for help we are all in trouble.
I also decided that I would not tell my coworkers about it. I realize that I’m an odd, weird, eccentric, creative type and different from most. I am not going into my building and telling my coworkers I’ve just heard voices, LOL LOL LOL! Those clucking, waggin’ tongues and “sure ok’s” would have been running on overdrive.
But yesterday again to the UPS box and dropping off my overnight pack, I hear the voice again. Oh my Gosh I’m thinking – is there someone trapped somewhere? Surely if they had been trapped without food and water somewhere, they would be dead now as it’s been a week since I heard them last time. I was determined to see where this came from. No hotel window was open anywhere, no office window, no one peeking out of an RV window, no one from the nearby tree line that I could see. It sounded like it was coming from up high. I looked up. OH MY GOSH. There was a man on the cell phone tower. I saw him!!! Once I saw him, he quit talking. And he disappeared.
Now this was REALLY getting interesting. Had someone climbed up there and gotten stuck? Was it a worker or someone that was supposed to be up there? Had they been up there for a week? Was someone living up there? I know I saw him. I saw movement and reflections and the shape of a human.
Back at the office I decided to tell a couple of people. One person said “I heard the voice too”. lol. Upon further investigation with a coworker getting in the car and going by there – it was a worker and they were putting in new lines. Later I saw him repel down. The above pic is from my office window zoomed as far in as my iphone would zoom. Here’s a pic for reference.
What a crazy crazy thing. lol Very amusing.
So Last night, Roger became unsettled about 2 a.m. George got up about 3 times with him. He wanted out of bed, wanted water, wanted to go out, then I guess just wanted to roam. At 4 I finally got up, not able to sleep with all that. He actually jumped off the bed by himself and was ok one of the times. I told George I’d get up and fix coffee and he could roam the house. George is catching up right now on a bit of sleep he missed. I’m glad that he does not have to drive into work today. Now Roger is sleeping too at the bed here in my office (home office).
Oh and I meant to say that Roger greeted me when I got home yesterday. I was not expecting that and that warmed my heart. He was happy to see me. He actually followed me around a bit like Maisy did. I wonder if he is missing her too. George has been home with him since he’s working from home so he hasn’t been by himself much since she has been gone. I think he will really miss her too especially when we are out.
Today is my work Friday. I’m so glad. Taking a PTO day tomorrow. I had planned on going out and getting a few things done tomorrow but I think it’s going to be more productive if I start the day early. by wrapping. I am too tired to fool with it by day’s end. I’ve kinda always been that way about wrapping but it’s especially hard since Maisy is gone. I don’t want to do anything at the end of the day but put on jammies and be under my warm blanket. So I will be home tomorrow with the door closed and iTunes playing and get George’s things wrapped so I can see what things are left I need to get. I think it’s stocking stuffers. I will have two other days or after work next week to make the kamikaze shopping trips if needed to finish up. But maybe I can finish it up this weekend with quick trips out. Mainly at the grocery or wine store. I just need a good day at home wrapping more than anything and will figure out the rest. Maybe my spirits will lift by then too so I’ll be better able to do well with my selections.
We have not decided about the Saturday party. Well I’ve kinda decided but not sure George has. I just don’t think it’s safe and wise right now to be going to a gathering. He doesn’t want to make the final decision until Saturday……well ok. I want and need to see our beloved friends but I think it’s just not a good time for it. Every day we have record high numbers. More and more coming down with it having been exposed being around people. It keeps on coming closer and closer. I don’t want Christmas ruined further. (Thinking of how pitiful Thanksgiving was and how my Maisy girl quit eating and is now gone.) But it’s 2020, I know better than to think that Plan A will remain a plan. I gave up trying to plan much. God wins in the end. I know that. But there is nothing I can do to stop all the crazy things going on in our world and impacting our lives until then. In some ways I’m just so far over it I could scream. In others I’m like – yay, let’s just stay home and read and play games, eat, drink, watch Netflix and YouTube, and make videos of us cleaning the house. lol
OK over and out for more coffee. I’m OK guys! Just need to do some devos, and spend time with God and be grateful for what we do have. The grateful wagon is pretty overshadowed by Maisy’s death. But I’m trying. Or trying to try. I’m trying to care about other things in life. But it’s a little hard right now. I am thankful for the little things in each day that have big meaning. And tomorrow’s off day is big right now. I just need it. Losing a dog and having to do life as if nothing happened is not easy. So I’ll get through today and will get to be here and just knock out the wrapping in my PJ’s. If I wanna cry I will. If I wanna smile I will. If I wanna pout I will. I just need a day – or two or three- in jammies! lol.