Roger is now at Rest

I believe this was the last picture I took of Roger, unless I just missed it in my phone. I did not want to wait til tomorrow to tell you all that after I blogged this morning, I fixed us all a little breakfast of sausage balls and boiled eggs, and during that time Roger was still having some issues – getting stuck in corners and under things and moaning and howling. George couldn’t console him, walked around in the yard with him, and came back in and said “it’s time to go to the vet”. I took a shower real quick. And we went down the street to the one that had taken care of his foot a few weeks ago.

I drove and George held him. He was finally asleep and he seemed lifeless. I pulled into the vet parking lot, tears streaming. George said “let’s sit here and hold him a while before we go in”. While he was in my arms, he seemed lifeless and like he weighed nothing. I told George I thought he was in the process of dying. We waited a few minutes more. I told George we needed to just go in.

I knew George would not be able to speak, so we went in and I told the front desk “we think he’s dying”. And they whisked us back to a room immediately and immediately got the vet. They did bloodwork. It took a while. We put him down and he woke up, wobbled, and went under our legs and under the bench we sat on, finally came out, put his nose into a corner under a ledge and sat down very slowly and went to sleep.

The vet came in and said he thought his kidneys were failing him but there was nothing significant going on in his blood. While he said he likely is not going to get better, he can’t cure his old age or his dementia but he could give him some anxiety meds or meds to suppress him some and make him comfortable and the vet said or you could decide he had lived a good life and choose to let him go but that is up to you. George strongly considered the meds. He asked my opinion. I told him I was worried about when we were not there and I was worried he would hurt himself in odd ways and I hate to put Mom in that position to be having to watch him and she won’t be able to bend over and get him out of his situations while we are at work. And that with George not getting sleep (up 7 or 8 times last night) and we can’t console his howling, no quality really of life with us anymore. It’s really only delaying things to wait. He asked the vet if he said we would let him go would he be saying “you made the right decision” b/c he knew the vet would not recommend we put him down. He said “yes in this case I think you would be making a right decision”. So George said “let’s go ahead then”. Of course it was hard, we cried.

They came in with a soft sedative at first and left the room while we spent the next 2 or 3 minutes as he closed his eyes. Then he came in with the final injection. Roger fought it a little. He took some quick deep breaths and lasted longer than he should have. But finally his breathing shallowed and eventually stopped. We held him a lot during those last few hours and talked with him and told him to tell Maisy and Tugie hello. We told him what a special dog he had been and a unique one. We told him he would be leaping and playing soon. We rubbed his head, his nose, his ears, held his paws, rubbed and pulled on his tail like we always would do. He even had his little tongue out and I ran my fingers over his mouth and touched his tongue. I just felt like I needed to, that tongue that always hung out!

They put him in a box and we brought him home. George dug the grave and we buried him. I texted Katy to tell her as she didn’t answer the phone. We told close friends and neighbors. Our neighbor David came over. It was good to have someone to talk to to make us laugh a bit and bring our spirits up. David and another neighbor came over when we buried Maisy too.

Afterward George had some errands to run – to pick up an amplifier and go to the grocery. I wanted to find some clothes so I went shopping. It wasn’t as joyful of course, but I did feel “free” such a moment of freedom to get to go and do my own thing. It has been sooooo long it seems. So I had some good finds – pants and blouses. I totally forgot to go to the shoe store! I can’t believe it. But I probably did enough damage in one day. So I’ll go to the shoe store on another day.

The crowds out there were very thick today and the lines to pay were as long as Christmas. Just crazy. Dressing rooms were open! I was so happy. I took a bit of video today. But not like I really wanted to. There was a lot of people. I am uncomfortable videoing others.

Anyway just a sad day. It’s harder for George. I loved him too and I’ve cried but there is going to be a hole in his heart for some time. The two bonded and loved each other so much. He had been aloof for a while though but until the last few days, always wanted his Daddy. But George had been unable to console him.

Sleeping after a long drive from Nashville to Hot Springs
Tongue out!
With his sister, in healthier days. Roger really went down after Maisy died.
At Don and Lisa’s – He got to go and we were all so happy of Lisa’s hospitality.
George and his little buddy watching an amazing sunset on the ranch in Breckenridge, TX.
He loved to sit in his Daddy’s lap.

He loved his monkeys! He would loved for George to throw it in his younger years. And he would go retrieve it. He was a special little man. I just loved how he took up with George so immediately. They were the two men of the house. They bonded so well. They hung out always. He loved to sleep with us. He loved Maisy. He went down after Maisy left us. He went down pretty immediately after that. He was never able to rest much, like he was always looking for her. He began his love affair with “water” about that time. He would panic if he could not be near his water. But we had many years with him. He traveled with us wherever we went. He went to Tybee and Savanah. Went to Texas and the ranch. He always got to go to his Nana’s. And Lisa let him hang out at their house. And Katy let him come to the ranch.

He was in diapers the last seven months or so. I guess in the last year or year and a half he got to where he couldn’t jump up to or from the sofa. Then in the last few months did NOT want to be on the sofa at all because he had to be near his water.

I am so tired right now that it’s hard to think straight. I’m trying to recall all the memories. I’m mainly remembering the travels and nights we all snuggled around watching TV. There was the time or two he snuck out the door and someone luckily noticed. He loved to bark at the deer. He did not like to be in cages (that’s how he lost his teeth we think before he came to us).

Little did we all know that when he went to visit Katy in the old college neighborhood, that when he came to them looking for food, and some attention, that he would be coming to live with us the rest of his life. He was not taken care of, no one was missing him, and Katy brought him home to take to the vet and get him checked out until we could find a home. She named him Pumpkin. He was only supposed to spend the weekend. We fell in love with him over that weekend and kept him. We tried to guess his real name one night and we all tossed out dog names then Bible names and then people names. Someone said “Roger” and his head popped up. “Roger” again and it popped up again. I kinda think that his name was really Dodger after baseball. But Roger sounded like it. We went with Roger. Such a cool dog name, huh? So…baseball games would come on and be loud and he would leave the room. I think something must have happened to make him nervous before he came to us as when sports would come on he would leave the room and sneak away. He also did not like the vacuum.

Anyway, we are going to miss our little buddy.

As for me tonight I need to try to do a few chores – laundry mainly. I will work more on the house tomorrow.

I am sad. Tired. But it’s George that will feel the biggest hurts. I loved him too, but he loved that dog more than just about any of us! And that’s a fact! It will be sad and lonely for a long while for both of us. We will come home and he won’t be there waiting.

New Video Uploaded: Accepting Change, Being Flexible, and Letting Go

Here is the New Video and a Video Dedication and Tribute to our Maisy Girl. Link below:

Less Hustle More Coffee VLOG on YouTube

I hope you will support me and subscribe (free version of YouTube) for future videos. They are released about once per month. And give me a like or comment there if you can.

I appreciate your support always.

Happy New Year everyone! Back tomorrow for a blog update!

Baby Showers, Good Meals, Christmas Prep, and New Years Thoughts

Oh they had the shower for Katy at her school yesterday. So sweet. Love the Christmas theme. I bought her that shirt, hoping with the open front she could wear it. It’s cute. Loving that belly right there. She has one more week of school and then she is out until after the baby is born.

It’s so awesome they can celebrate in this way. Our new normal at work is not celebrating anything, no sharing of food, nada. In remote places life seems a bit more normal. So I’m happy she could have a normal in person shower somewhere. I think the church one is today!

It’s getting closer! And closer!

Christmas Prep

I was able to get a lot of wrapping done, but still have some more to do today. Not much though. Now I’m moving into “stocking stuffer” mode for George. I’ve searched for hours on Amazon searching various ways. I did find a few things. I hope they fit in the stocking, lol. But some time this week after work I’ll go to the store for other things and then will pick up some things there that I know he will like.

We are also down to the final countdown list as far as liquor and beer run gifts, gift cards, and I will probably buy my two bosses something for putting up with my goofy eccentric self all year, lol. I love working with both of my immediate bosses in my department. They are good to me, nice to me, respect me, try to understand me, patient with me, laugh with me, talk to me, answer my questions, steer me correctly, look out for me, say good morning and good evening to me, generally seem to care. Who is not blessed to have this? They deserve something from me. We all hand papers back and forth all day so I think we’ve already shared germs – it’s like your work family you know. So yeah, I need to do a few things there. And I believe that will finish me up.

Then I’ll focus on the house and then Christmas will be here. Then we focus on getting our bag packed for Texas. And New Years which will mainly just be a good food eatin’ weekend, doing things in the house, watching shows, and getting ready for Texas, and hittin’ the reset button on goals and things.

New Year Reset Button

I love the New Year reset. It may vanish quickly for some, but for me, I DO tend to keep the things in mind I set to do. It seems like even though we may not always attain our New Year goals, we at least need that reset button to reflect where we have been and think about where we will go. IF nothing else, there is that. And I truly believe that our psyches move naturally in the way in which our internal directions (set by God or ourselves) have thought about or inquired. And as we know twists of fate, send us scattering in various off directions unplanned too (in my opinion as a Christian, these are God approved changes). So part God, part us, part fate, part universe – it all transpires somehow. And in 2021 much like 2020, I suspect that most plans will be changed unless you plan to not plan at all. lol But you know me and planning. I gotta give it a good try. That was a heavy loaded paragraph that did and could continue to go off in several directions.

Lunch Break

I fixed a pretty awesome spinach salad for lunch yesterday. It had a little goodness to it and a little badness to it. Spinach and carrots and peppers- oh yeah. But then Tyson fried chicken tenders, onion straws, and a dressing that probably was not the healthiest – was a mustard viniagrette but had some canola oil and sugar in it. :-O But I have been craving honey dijon dressing. I could not find it and didn’t really want to make it at home. But I ate this and watched a show or two.

Grief Update

I am getting behind on my YouTube shows. Part due to Christmas and part due to the fact that I was not in a place where I was in the mood to do so. My mind needed to grieve my Maisy girl. I just couldn’t watch happiness in a show. I needed to have that quiet time to release. It’s NOT ok that she is gone. But I guess each day gets easier in that I cry less, and feel a little less sad. I’m crying now b/c it’s still so raw just thinking about her not being here. Going to bed is easier but still hurts. At least I don’t have racking sobs, just a few tears or if tired just a sigh of sadness.

I have found that if I pick this little tiny dog up who has pretty eyes like Maisy, and rub it – strange as that seems – it mimics being able to talk to her. And it’s like she is in here with me. A far stretch from the real Maisy but yet it is comforting and a way to release my sadness. It’s much like my having the sloth that looked so much like Tugie – that sloth that pulled on my heart strings in Portland, Oregon – I passed it up and got home and realized I had to have it. Took me days to search it out and find it but I often pick it up and pet it or hug it when I need to be near Tugie, our deceased apricot poodle. See below middle right, my sloth, LOL.

We do what we have to do to feed and comfort our psyches.

Dinner Last Night – Chicken Rotel Spaghetti

So made this dish last night – as seen on my Instagram – give it a follow: @lesshustlemorecoffee

It was pretty good although for some reason it did not taste as good as Granny’s or Katy’s. Or as good as I’ve made in the past. But we still enjoyed it. George apologized when I arrived with my camera after he’d already sliced into it after it was done. I told him, “no worries – it’s perfect as you can see what is inside”. It’s making me hungry this morning. I haven’t had breakfast yet and it’s almost lunch time.

A New Shopping Website to Behold

Well, I have a new shop I like. It’s one of Katy’s favorites. I saw this while scrolling through instagram yesterday. Aren’t these tops cute? I could do without the reindeer though. But I like all the others. So cute. All of them. Yes one of each please and in big sizes so it’s roomy. I love baggy clothes!

Rogers Sleeping Issues

I’m running so behind this morning. But Mr. Roger has been something else the last two nights. He wakes up and is not happy and wants off the bed. He is continually waking us up and we have to watch and make sure he doesn’t jump off as he’s brave and he will hurt himself. Yesterday, I thought he was having a stroke -and he may have been. He was walking sideways, holding his paw up and losing his balance and his head seemed as if it was heavier on one side and making him lean if that makes sense at all. He is old, very old and not sure how long he will be holding out. I don’t think a trip to vet is worth it. I think we need to let him go naturally if we can until he is at a point where it’s just pitiful. I think we are almost there, but this is George’s dog. He will need to decide when Roger is not having quality of life anymore. It’s hard to let them go. So hard. But it’s hard to see them have a rough time.

Last night George had to put him in the kitchen and living room and shut the door – like we were gone for the day so we could get rest. At 2 or so this morning I got up and went in there. He was pacing back and forth from one room to the other. He finally got in his bed and snoozed after 30 min or so. I went back to bed after about an hour of being up. I slept in late. So my day started late.

My To Do List Today (Sortof):

I’m behind. But here is what is on today’s list – not necessarily in order:

  • Eat lunch and watch a show
  • Laundry
  • Pick wardrobe for next week
  • Iron
  • Finish wrapping
  • Do Vitamin refills
  • Update to do lists
  • Change bed linens
  • Look up a couple of addresses for Christmas cards (2 I didn’t have addresses for)
  • Clean my office
  • Pick up the house
  • Watch more shows (lol)
  • Work on iMovie stuff
  • Work on New Year stuff

I won’t get all that done and there’ll be stuff to pop up that I haven’t even remembered. lol.

Video Channel Update

Oh and future videos. I went to sleep thinking about how to handle the future videos, where I was wanting to go with the vlog and such. I really need to schedule some time to brainstorm a bit and map out all of the things I want to do. I’ve done some of it, but need to do some more. And make myself a schedule of sorts, in order for which to do and accomplish them and improve upon them, and continue learning how to vlog and video.

First things first, I’ve contemplated the absence of Maisy in them. I will need to address a real time update insertion into the next video segment. I will also need to be working on a new intro after the next couple of videos in which we catch up to real time. I need to do a better intro anyway. George and I need to be more up to date as I don’t color my hair anymore. And we don’t have Maisy. I think I’m not going to put Roger in it because I know he will likely not be with us much longer. I was thinking without our dogs and pets, we are just not very interesting. I know that is not true entirely, but I do need to vlog with more intention instead of just showing what I’ve taken pics of and such through the month. Yes those are things we’ve actually done and are part of it, but I DO need more intention and purpose with them and bring that value to others – this is the hard part – do I bring value to anyone through the videos – not a lot, lol. So MUCH improvement to make and I’m glad to pop back into this and see what we can come up with. It’s hard to work full time and do this though, as it takes a lot of time. But I’m enjoying all the process, even if no one else is. As said, eventually I’ll find “my camp” of people and will get better and will have more followers. But in recent days I just did not feel like doing any of these things with the loss of Maisy. It seemed to big of a task to redo the intro or how to even start to do videos without her. I still don’t think I can do a tribute video. It’s just too much for me right now. But these things are on my mind now that the wrapping is mostly behind us and this is coming up on my radar.

Photo by Anete Lusina on Pexels.com

The video life would be easier if I didn’t blog all the time. lol. Keeping all the hobbies going is tough sometimes. But in years like 2020 it’s made it easier except that there is little interesting to blog and video about. That is part of my thing for 2021 is to etch in some outdoor experiences and safe places to visit, video, and get pretty photos of. I don’t know, I wish we could go ahead and get a truck and pull behind RV so we could go out on the weekends or even the long weekends and get started with some adventures, but that is not to be. Wow if I could get these videos to be something worth watching and monetize them then that would help fund that project, lol.

Adventure Goals

Something like this is what I’m thinking will be affordable for us.

Love something like this with the Off-Grid solar package, and eventually the Winter Package Add ons

I started to ask Santa for one. But, I think it’s a bit too early for George. ha. I did ask for a wide angle lens and pretty excited about that as it’s easier to vlog with. We need the cold weather package and the off grid package both to go to the pretty places off the beaten path. But I’d be ok to plug in to the whole schlimazel – I’m afraid it would be for us city folk getting used to not using water, filling up the tanks fast, cooking without every utensil and spice on hand, small refrigeration, finding our comfort levels in a small space. I get it. A lot to get used to. But we minimize and enjoy the experience and get to go out and see things and be near nature. And see me panic when a storm comes, LOL.

Well enough blogging today. I need to get busy as this day is getting away!