A Couple of Surprises – followed by Pizza and Busy Week
A Couple of Surprises Followed by Pizza
Yesterday we had to get up around 5:30 so we could get Mom by 7:15 and get her to an appointment at Centennial (across Nashville in rush hour) by 9:00 a.m. We did it with a few minutes to spare!
Mom’s surprised everyone with two things yesterday. 1) She told the nurse practitioner that her UTI was back and she’d had symptoms for a week and a half. 2) She asked for Christmas ornaments from her house.
- So, we are working on number 1 by alerting the nurse and they are getting a specimen and sending it in and getting it all started to get her on antibiotics. Since it took 14 phone calls b/w her regular doctor and the pharmacy of assisted living and nurses at assisted living, I told her we best let assisted living handle it rather than her primary care doc.
- This surprised George and I that she is still asking for stuff out of the house because we have told her everything has sold, remaining things gone to good will and that house is cleared and we are working with realtor to get it sold.
So number 1 is pending and number 2, quite frankly, is concerning. It’s making me think she is really losing her memory. When I told her that the two big Santas she wanted were gone, she said a bad word. Immediately I could feel the ire running through me and I reminded her again that things were gone from the house that it’s too late.
She then accused me of not letting her go back to the house after she moved. I reminded her that she did and that we had bought about 15 more car loads of stuff after that visit. She either has blocked it from her mind, is truly forgetting it, or just trying to annoy me.
Instead of trying to argue with her, I just said – I know one day you will finally appreciate what we have done to help you, and I realize that is not today. I could have let yourself and your other daughter handle your move (instead of us) and we could have seen how well that would have gone. But that’s ok, you keep thinking that we did not handle things like you wanted but also you remember that you wouldn’t help us, instruct us, use the blue tape or cooperate with us in any way in the move and we had to guess everything that you would need and want – so keep that in mind.
I’m probably going to be making a list of all the things she is forgetting or showing a lapse in memory. But I think she is starting to lose touch with reality. I’ve seen a few glimpses before of her telling us things repeatedly and forgetting what day we are doing things and what time.
Oh – about the Christmas decor -I did keep some Christmas items back for her – but most of them were really big and she would have no room for them. Mostly what I had was wreath’s on her door. She said she would just keep buying stuff over and over again what she had that she is missing. But if she had helped show us what she wanted to take, we could have brought it or saved it. Instead we just brought what we knew she would be needing. And she brought so much decor and things already that she still has a few things she doesn’t have anywhere to put them and all her horizontal spaces are filled. She has a few Nic-Nacs lined up against the back wall with no where to put them.
We are having a busy week this week. We did hang the rest of Mom’s pictures now that George found some more picture hooks. We have been working with our broker on my insurance. We are filming a clip for a sponsor for an upcoming video. And we are working with the realtor on getting Mom’s house listed. The Garage doors are being installed tomorrow. And we are waiting to hear about the gutter install.
Mom did take us out to eat after her doc appointment yesterday which was nice in celebration of George’s upcoming birthday. We got pizza, and George and I had a beer and Mom had a margarita.
I know we are trying to get our life back and everything but gosh, our weeks keep filling up with details. Like today, I sent appliance information and pics to our realtor and also signed a couple of Docusign documents. We have a meeting on Friday to sign more papers over at Mom’s house. George has had some keys made. I have inquired to get the key back from the estate sale people and also need to remember to get the key from Mom’s neighbor, before it sells. I might wait on that one in case for some strange reason we need them to check on something.
Ok over and out. I’m working on hobbies today (at least for the afternoon) so I’m on to the next one.
I’m sure it will calm down soon right? In the mean time Mom is hollering she wants to go bra shopping and I agree she needs to. We went last week but we both forgot about the bras. So this week is already spoken for but I’ll have to take her next week.
Later….
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6 Comments
Rose
Oh goodness, I have heard that UTI’s in elderly people can cause confusion and/or memory loss. Do you think that might be the case? Otherwise she might be showing signs of dementia! Hang in there! Can’t wait to hear about which hobbies you’re working on and congratulations on a new sponsor! ❤️
LessHustleMoreCoffee
I didn’t know that UTI’s caused memory loss. I couldn’t believe she didn’t tell anyone cause she is usually abnormally cautious about everything. It’s so weird.
sybil wilson
Evening Sonya, sorry you’ve all this concern over mums wants etc. I did warn you that she would not settle for a long time. I did warn think she may have early start of dementia etc. if that is the case you really will NEVER be able to help her ..find goods no longer available etc. it could be the only way to accept her never ending questions demands is to just agree with whatever she say and INSTANTLY forget it….she probably will have no recollection of asking for whatever…and will ask you again next day….again FORGET IT. She really isn’t accusing you it woudnt matter who did what it’s YOU that is there in front of her…one day she wont even remember who you are…I know it’s not what you want but I’m afraid that’s the way it’s going to be. The times tenants at the sheltered housing where I was warden for 10 years accused me and other staff of robbing them, etc were unbelievable….even their families sometimes questioned us but soon realised how silly it was and that their Mother/ Father was making it all up…but it was very real to them. We learnt that best way to deal with them was to nod and agree…leave them saying we will check later……later never came…..
Night night love sorry I can’t be more positive but truly love just agree with her …you will find it easier as the months go by…. Night night. God Bless and give you patience.
LessHustleMoreCoffee
I suppose you are spot on.
Rose
Hi Sonya, Yes, UTI’s in the elderly are very bad for their minds. Confusion, memory loss and yes, being mean is right there with it also. Smell, brown and so on. My mother has dementia which is bad but once her UTI acts up again we watch for all the signs.
As for assisted living and nursing homes they are very slow to act on anything! As you are finding out. The way we get heard is to keep an open communication with your mother’s advocate in the NH. She or he will most likely be in any meetings you have for your mom. We write with anything medical and she will move it along. If not , then you email the top. That gets things done immediately! Just don’t let up on them. Also, if you still use your moms primary things like simple antibiotics or test will take longer. Just a FYI. You’ve got this.
Once the house is sold I hope you and George have some serious plans to get out of town and relax. I think you guys have earned that much!
Take care,
Rose
LessHustleMoreCoffee
Actually I failed to say what took so long was when she saw her REG doctor and then trying to go through the assisted living pharmacy with a REG doc Rx. It’s faster if she is using the assisted living doctor with the assisted living pharmacy b/c they control it all and don’t have to do a lot of work to push it through by the overnight delivery cut off. So far the assisted living staff and nurses have been on top of everything! They are so good so far. I thought we’d have to wait til the doctor came into the house (every Thursdays) but she said “no ma’am we will do a specimen today and get the process started right now. So it was like she is living in a walk in medical center. They are just around the corner. I’ve been impressed so far. But I know things can change and others aren’t always on their game. I didn’t mean to make it seem like they weren’t b/c they are doing a great job. I didn’t explain fully what happened with that last Rx. It took 14 phone calls mainly b/c it was an outside doc that time.
I hope we get to go somewhere too. I know we will go to TX in Nov. But I’m hoping for some other excursions. We will at least do a staycation and daily excursions, which are like mini vacations (but not really, lol).