Sunday Routines and Ending the Video Abruptly

You can watch the video HERE. This one….oh my gosh…wasn’t sure whether to post or not, but I did and I had to cut out the ending and replace it with other footage to close the video out. You may notice some changes in my future vlogs and blogs in where I say “family member” instead of actually saying who the family member is. That is to protect me so said person does not misconstrue anything.

You guys know I just report out on my experiences and what I’m up to. I always tell the truth. I don’t make things up. And I don’t say anything that I would think would hurt anyone’s feelings and if their behavior or actions were such that it did hurt their feelings, then perhaps they might want to change their behavior in a more positive way, lol. At least that’s my take on it. (If you don’t want to be in the evening news, or in a journalist’s edition, then don’t act like a butt?)

But anyway, I’m over it and moving on, although I have moved even further away from the person to remove myself and be subject to less negative behavior pointed in my direction. I’ve set some new boundaries, that I even have refused to discuss with the person. You can draw boundaries without letting people know you have done so.

I’m very sad the person has sent away nearly everyone in the family as not many want to be around the person anymore because of how they act: self centered, biting everyone’s head off, extreme entitlement over everyone else, thinking only of self – so much of the time. Yet another family member has told the person, “you’ve seen me for the last time”. It’s just very sad. I will continue to do what I think God wants me to do and I have to ask him for help every day just to do that. I’m kinda next to done, whatever that is. I’ve not defined “done” other than to say I’m leaving it up to God and taking it day by day and that going above and beyond most days, is just not going to happen anymore. It’s more about survival and needs now than just trying to please. That era is just over. I know that much.

So there ya have it. This was a couple of weeks ago and my life has been more pleasant since then to a degree. I no longer feel so bound to some things I was trying to do. Sad, but true. While I will uphold responsibilities and take care of most needs, I’m backing away from loving acts that I might have done had I not been met with negative energy after trying to help. I have to protect my psyche and health and I don’t have to be subject to negative energy and I’m not going to. George is witness to what I’ve been going through and I’m so glad to have his loving support. I hope I do not get to the point of having to permanently separate myself from this person, but like I say, I’m taking it one step at a time.

The person has been removed from the privilege of being referred to as their once used title. Now will be referred to simply as “family member”. I was going to refer to a person as an otherwise given name such as “Wynona”, lol. But declined doing that as that would be the ultimate insult. I’m not trying to insult but I’m not totally comfortable even using the word “family member” either. So I don’t know. Like I said, I’m just taking it one day at a time and trying to remove myself as far from the situation as possible. And that is because I don’t want to be traumatized. The past has traumatized me over the years. I’ve finally gotten to a point where I can draw boundaries more easily. I’m tired of the Jekyll and Hyde dance of behaviors of narcissism that taunt us so. I hang on to the fact that people can and have changed, but it’s hard. I’m not sure this person has it in them to pull it off. I know I’ve certainly not had much in the way of apologies and neither has anyone else that had experienced similar behaviors and treatment.

And that’s all for now. If you read the blog and need the link for the video, you can watch it HERE. This is probably all you are going to hear from me on this subject. You can read between the lines if you want. But I’m done talking about it and I’m just kinda done, whatever that means on some level, as God determines. Right now I just want to be away from said person and just not have to deal with negativity, being accused of things, being frustrated all the time, not being traumatized or punished for doing good things. I keep asking God, what did any of us do to deserve this punishment? lol.

Enough said. The tribe has spoken. I’m moving on, but that’s what’s going on with this video. The subject is now no longer worth the words on this page.