Maddie Explains: “I Slept with Dexter!”

Well, Hey Ya’ll

Momma let me use some of her blog space today. She said I was a good girl for the most part so she would let me. (That was before she found out I pee’d in front of Dexter’s food and water bowls. But what can I say, Dexter’s is nice and official and she just feeds me out of an old pyrex dish.)

Anyway, it’s been real ya’ll. I didn’t know what to expect when I had to go spend the night with these people. I’ve been so tossed around. They don’t know what all I’ve been through. I know about my last family but I can’t seem to explain or describe what happened to me, but I’ve been through a bit of turmoil. I have been staying back and forth between about three houses. I didn’t know if I would ever be settled, but then I met my current Momma and Daddy at a park that day.

I really liked Momma and Daddy. (They seem to want me to refer to them as that). But Momma and Daddy only had one BIG problem–This BIG DOG that they called “Dexter”. Wasn’t that some kind of evil dude on a TV show? I get it. He is so big and in your face. I was really scared of him at first. But I put him in his place that first day and I have every day since. When he puts his big face in mine, it’s like a big gorilla is sticking his head in my face and it scares the BeeGee’s out of me.

Momma said the BeeGee’s used to be a musical group and I know that already! I used to hear that song Stayin’ Alive and I think that is why I said Dexter scared the BeeGee’s out of me. I’m just trying to Stay Alive when that guy puts his big old mouth in my face. I’m afraid he’s gonna try to eat me, so I really let him have it and he seems to back off.

Momma and Daddy have tried to make me feel welcome. I’m glad to have my cage and the new bed they bought me. Even though Dexter can get in the cage too, I felt relieved to be in there when they shut me up by myself. That big dog is a mess.

I will have to say that Momma and Daddy treat me like the Princess that I am. I mean sorry to be so prim and proper and vain, but I’m a chihuahua and that is just how we are. We rule, you know.

And Dexter is just so curious of me. I’ve noticed that. Sometimes I think I’d like to get to know him better and then he scares me and I bark and holler at him and he goes away. I kick myself sometimes because then I think “well I’ve run him off again”. I’ve been trying not to do that, but then sometimes he tries to scare me. I think he does it on purpose. Isn’t that just like a male?

One thing he does that makes me so mad is that he blocks me from my Momma. If he knows I want to jump in her lap, he goes ahead of me and all 50 lbs of him jumps in Momma’s lap.

But we do more things together and that makes us a little more happier with each other. We go on walks with Daddy together or sometimes both Momma and Daddy. They taught me about the deer in the yard. Sometimes we bark at them but they told me if I was quiet I could get closer and get a good look. The deer think I’m cute. One deer came up to two feet of me and then I chickened out and stepped back. I think the deer look kinda like Dexter. I seem to be able to run both of them away and that makes me feel so powerful and that I why I feel like the princess I am. Everyone obeys me. And I get my way. Most of the time.

Dexter may be jealous of me, but you know what? I’m a little jealous of him too if I’m being honest. Every night he gets an ice cream cup they call a Dogster. They have tried twice to give them to me but I get a brain freeze and it freaks me out. I don’t see how he can enjoy those. I want to enjoy it but I just can’t, it makes my head hurt. Momma and Daddy said “no more”.

So they don’t hurt my feelings, they put me in the bathroom for a few minutes so I don’t see Dexter is eating his ice cream. They don’t know I’m on to them but I am. They could give me another treat but he would just come try to eat it and have his ice cream too.

My Momma and Daddy are busy, I’ve noticed. I can hardly get them to sit down. Momma will sit in her “office”. Dexter and I hang out with her in there. She is on the computer a lot. She is all over the house when she is home. I love it after dinner though because Momma and Daddy sit and watch a show. It’s hard to stay awake but I love to sit in Momma’s lap.

This week has been a big week as I got to hang out with Dexter while Momma and Daddy worked. I was good the first day but Dexter was being a butt the next two days. He chased me and I ran behind the couch. At least I can hide some places he cannot. I know he is just all show. I’ve seen him be scared. He is a little wussy when Mom vacuums. I show him that I wasn’t scared and I followed her around!

I guess Dexter is all right though. He has shown me some signs of protection when other dogs are around. And he has been nice to me some. We actually enjoy looking at Mom’s office window and barking at deer and squirrels and birds. But last night we finally slept together with Mom. I think he was tired from Doggie Daycare and wanted to be with Momma. I’ve noticed that on those days he wants to be with his Momma. He was so tired he didn’t try to bully me off the bed like he normally does. So Momma said she was proud of us.

I’ve not really mentioned this cat named Little Bit. I liked him at first but he can be a little two faced, if you ask me. Here I am thinking we were friends and he goes and paws at me. I’ve not really cared for him since then. I tried to avoid him but he’s always there wanting Momma and Daddy’s attention.

This place takes some getting used to. But I’m finding my way. Momma and Daddy have already bought me my tag and got me to the vet for the shots. I know I have to go in for some surgery and I really dread that, but they tell me that I get something like a chip and I won’t be able to have pups. I see Momma eating chips a lot so I hope she won’t want to eat me after I get a chip put in. Momma said that chip makes us hers. So I’m a little unsure what she meant by that.

I think a lot of Daddy. He is very patient. He loves to play this big thing that makes music. He fixes Momma and Daddy food every night. And I can’t eat any of their food but that darn Dexter can. I think it is because their food makes me sick sometimes. But not the cottage cheese. I get a bite of Daddy’s sometimes. Momma doesn’t like it. She likes pop corn. Dexter can eat that too but I can’t. It’s like trying to eat a grass hopper or something to me. They can have it.

Well maybe some time I will come back and let you know how things are going. Momma got my paws trimmed and that really helps me type here.

I better go. I need to see if Momma will take me out to poop. I hope she has not noticed that for a little dog I fart a lot. But it’s the way I roll. Oh and I told myself since I had been through so much I was just only going to eat steak from now on. So I have refused to eat chicken or anything else. I only want steak products. I’m a princess so I am only eating steak Little Caesars from now on!

Well nice to chat. I must go and see what Dexter is doing. Oh I see he is behind me just waiting to pounce. Lucky Me! I’m going to give him a piece of my mind if he does!