Managing Life with Grace and Ease….or Maybe NOT!

Half Salad/Half Sandwich at First Watch

Before I get into today’s entry about Friday and the final move, I want to say “thank you” for watching my latest YouTube video – in the previous entry. Your comments mean so much to me on it and I’m glad you enjoyed it. It wasn’t my favorite as far as “fun videos go” but I felt I needed to get it out there as George has worked so hard to make this all happen. I discovered later I had footage from my camera to add – after I’d done the video. I use my phone so much I forgot to check the camera files (it’s puts it in a different spot on my Mac). I thought I had looked already but I guess that was for the previous video. This is the err of having to come and go so much when working on a project and having to do things over several sittings – you forget where you are. Dang I should have made a list! I was so disappointed as the footage was good. But I’m moving on in time. I’ve made good ground and I want to keep going. Because I’ll end up getting behind during this crunch time I’m afraid. We have done so many videos on Mom’s move that I know everyone is probably tired of hearing about it, but it was indeed what our year has been about. I do have some more fun ones coming up soon though- I think. I hope. And eventually a Roger tribute. So much to do and no time. I have had to put much of my life and goals and spare time on the back burner. And that is ok for a time. I barely have had any room left to show that I have a persona, lol. There really is a ME in there somewhere that has likes, feelings, goals, emotions, hobbies. She’s in there somewhere and we only get a peek of her here and there. The rest of the time she is a robot and just does what she is slated in life to do I guess. And that is ok. For now.

Mom and I had a great time Friday. I worked for a few hours and then when all of our team left to go see the new plant and where our corporate offices were moving, I left and took Mom to lunch and to the doctor. Since it was reported that the offices would be shut down, I just left when they did and it gave us time to have lunch. It made for a more pleasant doc appt day. We had lunch at First Watch in Hendersonville. Mom loved it and would like to go back. I had a hard time eating my sandwich as my mouth would not fit over but half of it due to the lockjaw/TMJ thing. It’s not resolved. I’m going to have to go see a doctor when I get time. I just can’t open my mouth all the way, it’s stuck. I’m trying to accept it and go on because I don’t have time to go to the doc and I keep hoping it will resolve itself. It got better, but is still not right. At least I can eat. Just have to use fork most of the time or take smaller bites.

We went to get her eye injection after lunch and then Mom said she wanted me to be able to get some things done. She asked what all was on my list as far as shopping and errands. So we went to AT&T store and I dropped off my used phone to get my $350 credit. And then we went to JC Penny’s where I bought some Christmas gifts that I’d been waiting for items to come into stock. She wanted to wait in the car. But she did go into Bath and Body Works with me and enjoyed that until it got crowded. I used my “get an item free” coupon so she could get a perfume for herself. I used my other coupon to get 20% off of my purchase. So yay! More Christmas presents bought. Then we took KFC home for dinner.

So Fancy was dropped off for her trim yesterday. And then we went to the donut place to get breakfast for the moving crew, which was George and our neighbor Chip. We are so thankful for him helping us out. He was a God send! Here’s my sausage and egg breakfast sandwich from the donut shop.

There is nothing much for Mom and I to do until things are moved around and set into place where we can begin setting up things. Right now it is in “Gridlock”. It’s kinda like those sliding puzzles on a track where you have to move things around to get things in place accordingly to get the design. So George is working today at her house to get her bed ready for the mattress adjustable bed she bought and it will fit into her antique four poster bed. He had to go and uninstall the slats and make changes to the bed today so it will work and allow the bed system to fit down in there. The adjustable bed frame/mattress will be delivered Tuesday.

Since I’m a planner, yesterday I was trying to discuss today and what Mom and I could possibly work on while there. But after some words between all of us, and such a bottleneck on George, he determined it would be best for us just not to go today. So much of it falls on him to move. And it is very clear to anyone just how tired and deflated he is and I think we have only aggravated him more, which has upset me very much. However, I cannot control his thoughts and feelings nor Mom’s. I get to be the lucky charm in the middle. And neither of them can control me or my emotions, nor do they probably even care what they are as they have their own selves to tend to and nurture.

So back to the house – everything is chaos and you can’t get to anything without moving something. We can’t empty boxes when we don’t have access to where to put them. So it’s just a chaotic mess. I have looked the last few times for something I can possibly do but we are at an impasse until things are moved into place, out of the way and we get some kind of game plan going.

I think we are so close and I think we thought yesterday with all the furniture in, we’d be able to make progress and realized, disappointedly so, that was not the case. My desire was to get as much done this weekend since we will have limited time next weekend. Next weekend is the only time we can get the Christmas decorating done before Christmas. All the weekends are taken. So things haven’t gone exactly as planned I don’t think. And it is very obvious to anyone and everyone that George is beyond tired. Mom’s thinking was to move in Thanksgiving weekend. Maybe we can make it happen, if she can stand to live in a mess for while – if we can get her to the point of being able to sleep and bathe and get her recliner going for periods of day rest. Her kitchen is a mess but at least functional. I just have to be able to get our Christmas decor out when my grandson is coming to Christmas for the first time. It would be ashamed not to have the house decorated. I just cannot accept that.

I know why George is feeling overwhelmed. There is a lot of pressure and he realizes too, I’m sure, that by ending the big furniture move and getting it all in the new place, is indeed NOT the end of the line. So much to move around, set up, and things to help her, being a senior, to function. TV has to be set up and eventually installed to wall. The bar has come in for her back porch for the step there so she can step down without falling on to the back porch. It has to be installed into the brick. A bar for each of the bathrooms will be installed. And things moved around, furniture set up, glass put back into the china cabinets (I can help with that I think). The chimes put back in the grandfather clock, I think. But some of that is not urgent. Some of it is. The work seems never ending I’m sure for him.

So in light of the turtle mode fashion in how slow this is going, and to hide my disappointment at not being able to be efficient and helpful right now, I’m turning my focus on getting some personal things done today that I had not anticipated getting to do unless it was on the fly. And I’ve decided since I can’t control others feelings about the move and I can only control what I can do, that I’m letting it go and it’s not going to control my mood. I had gone to bed upset trying to figure out what it was I’ve done wrong or said wrong and came to no conclusion than my planning of today had put pressure on George and Mom got involved and tried to explain my side as well. But my own fault seems to be that I was planning work for us to do and that only involved more work for George.

So the best thing for him is for me to give up on today over there and just focus on being here, being happy and in getting some things done here. Here’s my lists from the Reminders App on iPhone, which I’m loving now that I know what it will do and how to use it. It’s a little bit different from what I am used to but it’s working for me. I mainly need to get ready for the work week, do some ordering for Christmas and check my list, make a few more, shower, go to the store, and plan next week.

So I’ll probably not be back until Wednesday. I’ll work on the next video tomorrow morning in my one guaranteed free hour of the day I give myself, have to work extra long on Tuesday to get check stubs and overnight packs out in a short week this week. And Wed will be long too but I’ll at least try to blog Wed morning. Thursday is cooking day. Maybe even Wed night.

So pray for us please. We are all exhausted, low in spirits, but at least I’m trying to keep positive and upbeat by accepting it is what it is, I can only do what I can do, and I will make the most of the day I have and make alternate plans! It’s kindof a nice pleasant surprise actually since I’m not needed and at an impasse anywhere else. Ahhhhh deep breath!

8 responses to “All Moved In and It’s a Bottlenecked Gridlock”

  1. Sybil Avatar
    Sybil

    Oh my dear Sonya, how much I feel for you and George. It’s an awful situation to be In especially at this time of the year when there are so many other things you feel must be done. I pray and pray that Mum moves in to her new home as soon as possible. As you say so long as her bed is made up nice sheets etc on it, and perhaps her bedside table with light on it. A change of clothes to hand, Then her relaxing chair in the sitting room. Bits and pieces in the kitchen that she can make herself a cuppa, sandwich etc. Then despite so much more to be done I think you will have to leave her alone for everybody’s sanity ….George and you need/ must go home shut your door grab a drink and sit quietly breathing deeply and don’t even try to chat and especially DONT mention anything about what’s to be done..Try to have a whole evening just to yourselves letting nothing interfere with the quietness and peace. I’m sure that the next day you will both feel the benefit of not even thinking or mentioning the words…Mum, Move, Exhausted, Tired…just sit in the moment loving the quiet time together. God Bless you both with Peace..

    1. Backporchwriter Avatar

      Thank you. We need a blessing at this point! lol 😝

  2. 7monica7 Avatar

    Oh my!
    First off, I’m way behind because the notifications have not been coming thru. I was going to tell you last week but you had the TMJ going on & I didn’t want to add to your stress. Late last night I “re-subscribed” to your blog again & it worked today BUT, I’ve had overnight company & things are extremely busy for me. SO, I’ve not had time to watch the video but I will when I get some personal space & time to enjoy it.
    IF you haven’t had many views or comments it could be to lack of notifications.
    I understand George being overwhelmed. He’s taken on a HUGE responsibility. This has taken months & he probably just couldn’t see an “end”.
    Hopefully he will feel a pinch of positivity working alone today.
    (I think I got that right)
    I gotta run but I will be back to catch up, & watch the video. I can’t wait!!
    This was one long ass comment just to explain myself. Was it a success? LOL

    1. Backporchwriter Avatar

      Comment was successful. I’m not sure why people are not getting comments. It’s so aggravating since there is no extra time to look into it. I plan to do an overhaul of the blog and also vlog niche in 2022 as things develop and hopefully we have more time so maybe a new theme will do a better job for me. (Certain developer themes and softwares may not do what they should after a while.) I want to do a new theme, redefine, and all that. It’s time. I won’t change content much but I do want to change a few things to bring more people in and create more of a community – especially for those from 40 to retirement and after. Thanks for the support on the move. We are all so tired but I just want to get Mom settled so life can go on. She is all ready and we are ready and life is already busy as it is. I knew this would happen though. Predicted as usual. I guess I’m experienced at life. I could bow my head and cry (and have) about 3 times this past week. I’m tired. I hurt. And I didn’t even do the heavy lifting. I think I get tired just trying to keep up with everything and keeping everyone pleased and happy. It’ll get better. It better anyway. That is all I can say, lol.

    2. JE Avatar
      JE

      My only words are, hire the rest to be done! I’m sure there are handyman referrals etc! Not worth this stress (or the moving of the large items). At a certain age and working that would be the right thing for everyone.,

      1. Backporchwriter Avatar

        It’s being considered. I think Mom is looking for someone to hang curtains and extra blinds.

  3. Lauren Avatar
    Lauren

    Please call the dentist and go see him or her. No one should have to suffer as you have with that awful pain. The dental assistant told me how some people got so bad they could not eat at all. And had to be carried into the dentist’s office by their husband. .I will never forget that pain .. I think the dentist had to give me valium to relax my jaw. I was grinding my teeth in my sleep.
    I am glad you have the worse of the move over with. As long as your Mom has a warm bed to crawl in and a chair to sit in and can work in the kitchen safely she should be good. Maybe she could find a teen or someone who could come help her during the day. I know teens want to make extra money for Christmas. It looks like her grandkids would come to help her for a day or two. Usually, the construction workers will make a place handicap accessible for a senior for a small fee. Here they love side jobs.
    It sounds like it all is too much for poor George. He has to be in pain after all that heavy lifting. My husband decided to put down a new carpet in the hall this past weekend. I have had to hear how sore and tired he is it seems like for days. He has always been handy around the house but not as young or fit as he once was and his body reminds him of it.
    Take care..

    1. Backporchwriter Avatar

      I really don’t have time for the dentist- I’m not in pain but just can’t open all the way. I’m thinking it’s an entire skeleton issue – so probably chiropractor. Will have to see. Will do something soon. I need an assistant and a life coach lol! But glad to have you and my blog buds! 🙂 Hope your hubby heals soon. Laying carpet is a big job.

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