Well, many of you know from my own experience, the HR Manager or HR Generalist roles in our nation have lept to infinity-like mounds of responsibility, mounds of work left undone, and too many surprises every day leaving your planned agenda to be thrown out the window. And recruiting is the big bear that eats the rest of the position out of existence, demanding your full attention and scaring the rest of the duties to the back of the cave to sit in the dark in the corner with no attention. And for that reason recruiting is not my first love. It’s not that I dislike it. Ok, well, maybe I do dislike it – at least now I do. It’s not very rewarding, always demanding, and the time spent toward it is never enough. Applicants are so fickle these days,transient, unresponsive, wasteful, yet demanding, and not respectful of your time -which my generation considers rude and unreliable. It’s a full time job JUST doing the recruiting and staffing. And my work stack continued to grow, and all that goes along with THAT. And I could do another complete blog entry or two on THAT. And I’m sure I have several times already in other blogs, lol.
I am a planner, a thorough person, very detailed, like routines, and must feel as if my work is making a difference. I have a lot of knowledge and years of experience to offer and could have probably have had a huge upswing in salary somewhere as HR Director or VP position with some company based on my experience. But guess what! I just don’t want it. Matter of fact, my persona would just not have it! And some day I’ll go further into why, but not here, not now. But mainly it has to do with work-life balance and my own persona.
So when our payroll manager gave her notice, I thought about applying for it. But then I said no to myself. For about 30 seconds. Then I hopped up out of my chair as if someone had taken hold of my body (God), took action and offered my boss a proposal for me to take the payroll job and take the benefits role with me, and then us replace me in my role as HR Manager.
So last week I was on pins and needles trying to figure out what was going to happen. Had I shot myself in the foot? Would I be leaving the Company at that point because they’d be disappointed in me? Or would I get the job. And if I did what would the details be. And would I be happy with that. Some of the details are still not settled and of course the worry wart in me (the devil) is having a hay day with that. But I’ve put my faith in God to steer me and hold me in this process, and to see it through. I truly believe this is an answer to prayer. I’m truly resting in Him. My God, he is an Awesome One. He knows the desires of my heart. He has heard my prayers and prayers of my family. He will take care of us.
My family has asked me to consider doing a Payroll and Benefits job and wanted me to look for something because they know I’ve done this role before at multiple companies during my long-term employment with each, and was the happiest in this role. But I was not ready to leave my Company to seek this role elsewhere. Every time I would try to go on line to do the search that gut speak you have in your tummy would say “Not now” or “this is not the answer” (God’s Spirit).
My Spirit has been dwindling the last few weeks. I have felt I needed a change but was not sure how to make it happen. I just kept spiraling down. Once accepting this role and seeing how my being is changing and feeling, I can see it now. I truly think one of the reasons I have been wanting to RV Full Time so badly was to get away from my life. I still have that desire to do sometime or at least for long stretches, but the desire is not as strong because I don’t feel the need to run away and escape from – fill in the blanks of all that was making me unhappy. I have struggled with the happiness factor in all this for a while. To the point of creating a “Joy Indicator” so I’d have a meter or a measurement to being able to find joy back in my life as a part of my New Year goals. Geez, what I have gone through to de-stress for my health! lol Meditation, exercise, Tai Chi, breathing exercises, audio books, and an upgrade in BP Meds, a health and wellness program, and dreaming of the future to become a millionaire to buy a luxury RV and plan our escape (lol) only George didn’t want to escape with me – putting a hole in that plan and a hole in my heart. And there’s more, but I can’t think of it now.
So I am feeling really good about this career change. It fits my persona much better. I can have my routines. I can see a job from start to finish. While every job has its own surprises, the agenda is clear and CAN NOT be pushed aside each day. Payroll must go on! The disappointments are fewer. The rewards greater. And it just fits my persona. I could do a whole blog entry about just that, too. So you will find that I will refuse to talk about work other than general terms so it does not cause me or anyone else any issues. But I will mention in general terms here and there. And this career – life path thing is a topic I can talk about. It’s my life. Not really any one else’s business how I feel about my life, my choices, my directions, my goals and my feelings. They are mine to own, and my words to say.
All I can say is that I am happy to be learning this position this week. It’s going to be a challenge for folks – during the transition because I’ll be heavily focused on getting payroll done first. And people have no choice but to be patient. But we’ll get through it. I am going to rest in God to get me through the process as I focus on one thing at a time and in the moment. But I am happy and can feel the weight coming off of my shoulders. It’s making me want to live again, have hope again, and I’m surprised that the light is shining again in my life. I’ve sought so many avenues to try and fix this weight on me. So this is the perfect move for me. I’m so excited!
I’m sad that the HR roles across our nation has changed and morphed through the years. It’s become an animal and a beast. It was so different when I got into it. Now the responsibilities are just infinite. And I’m so glad to be shedding that heavy coat. A lot of it has to do with my persona. Someone else can take the roles of this type and not worry that others are waiting, or what others think, or how each action or lack thereof impacts. I’m too thorough, too detailed, too responsible, too caring about it all. I invested my soul heavily into it because I cared for it so much. I’m ready for someone else to have it and bring life to it at different angle, with fresh ideas, and a love for recruiting. I just don’t feel it anymore. I’m way too burned out. And so that’s a wrap on THAT. I’ll be looking for a replacement. And happily trotting off into my new role. 😉
I need to get going and head out. So just wanted to let you all know of my career changes. And that I am very very happy about it!