Update on Mom’s Move

Just leaving a very quick update to say that Mom has been moved into assisted living as of Wednesday June 3. I have a packing video coming Saturday June 13 and Move in Day on June 20.

Our lives have been very busy. It’s like we are working full time jobs again – with PT jobs on the side. Our schedule includes spending a couple of hours at Mom’s villa and a couple of hours at Mom’s unit at assisted living.

Mom did not pack anything except her make up and I think that was mainly packed for the wedding we went to the week before and still all together. She did not put a piece of blue tape on anything to mark it. So there were many questions of “do you want to take this and that?” and/or it just not being taken and then she asks where it is later. I wished that she had taken some initiative to at least put blue tape on anything. But that was way too much to ask and she ignored our pleas for her help with this. It’s very difficult to know what is in someone else’s mind, so we have had to guess for the most part as to what to take or not take.

The result of this has been that for the last six days we have had to go on Easter egg hunts at her villa for said list of items that she has since requested and asked where they were. And for six days we have had six car loads of moving things over, much to my chagrin. This is what I most wanted to avoid, but knew in my heart it would happen. So there we are loading car and toting things about and making numerous trips back and forth to the car. I’m too old for this. And it totally could have been avoided if we had some hint of direction from Mom. The lack of help in this is cause for concern. I’m starting to wonder about the condition of her mind now. She certainly remembers to ask for the items, but didn’t have capacity to be able to point and tell us what goes or what needs a blue sticker? I don’t know.

She asked every day for six weeks when her move date was. And also has asked how long she has been in assisted living. So I am thinking we have some developments in the memory department taking place.

Regardless, it is what it is and we have been busy non-stop for about two weeks. I’ve been snappy with Mom twice over her impatience and constantly asking about things before we’ve even had a chance to deal with yesterday’s requests. I tell her we are working as fast as we can.

She is having an issue with not having the channels she wanted. She had wanted to stream and not have cable but the maintenance men came in and turned on cable and that was a blessing because both her Hallmark Channels are on there. But now she’s fussing because some other channel is not on there. So she wants to expand her Xfinity cable. (She has to have the full package of everything, if you know Mom. Biggest unit in the building, 1st floor, yada yada.) She is also mentioning daily about curtains but I told her that will have to wait as she does have blinds. I have had to tell her it’s not going to happen at a snap of a finger that we are two adults working for her has fast as we can – and I almost added (and for five years at that, but didn’t, lol).

I apologized at snapping but reiterated that she has no choice but to be patient and to quit wishing because we are just two humans trying to work for her 40+ hours a week as fast as we can.

I don’t think she has the capacity to realize that we are not only trying to get her settled there but to go through her villa and determine what goes to estate, what does family want, throwing away trash, disconnecting services, changing addresses on everything, still paying her bills, still working with assisted living on meds and info, fighting the insurance over her hospital stay, trying to get myself set up with insurance as my Cobra ends at the end of the month, and our normal lives of trying to keep up the house, wash our clothes, feed ourselves without having to continue to go out to eat – which not only impacts the waistline but also the billfold.

She continues to ask daily for me to order things on Amazon. Someone had a purse she wanted in the dining area that was a crossbody slim purse that holds room key, credit car, and phone. I mean it is a good purchase, but let the dining room influencing begin, lol. This will continue. We ordered a new walker as someone said the frame was bent on the one she had. I didn’t see that it was, but ordered a new one anyway just in case because if she fell (whether that was the cause or not) it would be my fault – even if it wasn’t.

Apparently they moved Mom away from her roommate across the hall that was from her hometown. This is the one that told Mom to be careful who she made friends with. So I’m not sure what happened. I don’t know if someone thought they would not be compatible, if one or the other complained, or if maybe they thought she should be paired with someone else better.

So Mom sits at lunch with a really sweet lady that smiles all the time but she can’t hear much. She wants to talk but she can’t hear much in return. And the other lady at the table must have Alzheimer’s as she tells Mom the same things every day several times at the table. So I don’t think there’s a lot of talking other than that, but Mom did say she enjoys going out front and I know the people out there can talk and hear and have conversations which is probably good for her.

The food is good. We ate there with her yesterday. I don’t suppose we will do it often. I didn’t see anyone else’s family eating with them and it did seem to stress the system somewhat. Mainly we had five of us at our table for four. Just no room. So mental note made to just visit at times other than meal times and we won’t eat there. I won’t say we won’t ever but it seemed to be more of a stress than it was a good thing.

I was quite shocked that George says he doesn’t remember me telling him we were going to eat with her yesterday. I’m sure I mentioned it several times, but either he forgot or wasn’t really listening. I know I told him.

He and I have been a little stressed with each other as well. Whatever I’m doing, he seems to have a better way or a better order of doing it and it messes with my mind and my order of getting things done. I do, however, appreciate his help, but I will have everything all set up in my mind and he wants to change the way or the order and it throws me for a loop. He has also been rushing me to get the house done and I am going as fast as I can with trying to get Mom settled.

I mean we spend most of the two hours looking for things she has asked for, lol. So little progress is being made on the house b/c of that. We have however, going through pantry and freezer and taken home what is good in date still, but there is so much in fridge, and both freezers that have to be thrown away, but will have to be over a period of time. If trash pick up is Tuesday, we will put what we can in the trash Monday afternoon. Today the trash can is already full so we won’t be able to throw away old freezer food til at least next week, if then. She had a lot of things frozen from like half meals she’d eaten and froze the rest – a LOT of that type of stuff.

Other stuff going on:

• Will be closing the final bank account after I transfer an amount and my aunt transfers an amount out of their last investment account together.
• I’m trying to get George’s sheets changed, Mom’s pantry items worked in, and get bathroom cleaned and refreshed today.
• Need to make our nails and toe appointments for Thursday
• Taking Mom to the house Wednesday if she wants to go.
• Having to complete a subrogation questionnaire for Mom’s hospital stay
• Schedule my Mammogram for July, under the new insurance but I have to wait til I have my card I guess unless I get it done by the end of June. I guess I’ll try to do THAT.
• Need to get my World Bible School stats printed out for May so I can do my report easily for church by January.
• Continue changing Mom’s address, with church, the bank, Dad’s retirement pension she gets, and her Best Buy account which she still owes a little on, and with Mom’s friends
• Stop buy and give bank information to Tori (our broker) so my insurance will be paid directly through the bank automatically. I also want to see some type of proof of insurance – or that shows we have at least applied.
• Buy Mom a laundry basket from Walmart today for her laundry person to fold and bring it back in.
• Get my glasses adjusted as they keep falling off my face.
• Return Mom’s AT&T modem through a local UPS store
• Go to see Mom and take her the purse, the laundry basket, the walker, and have us change addresses on a couple of things that will require her phone presence – like her Blue Cross Blue Shield, and I’ll have to figure out how to change it with social security, and cancel Netflix as she is not streaming anymore.
• Put her mouse decals on the wall and take in the latest car load we have and then fill up another for tomorrow because it wouldn’t all fit.
• We will be working daily at the villa to go through things and pack up china that family is taking and pull out memorabilia.
• She has pictures we still have to move because, darn it, George told the movers he would get them. 🙄
• Today I also need to empty out the little trash cans across the house, check email, check on my sister who had a doc appt today, answer you tube comments, and video edit 13 minutes of footage today on this Saturday’s video to meet the daily agenda and get done on time.

OK I gotta get started on this because I have five segments to the day today: office time this morning, a bit of house work time, errand time, Momma time, lunch and dog time, Momma’s villa time, and then housework time again, office time again with YouTube and personal stuff, and then dinner and a movie if I can hold my head up long enough to watch one.