Forgiveness? Plus a Weekly Update.
So, I did a little forgiveness project. What does it look like when you keep getting triggered? How do you forgive over and over again when the behaviors don’t stop, there’s no apology, and nothing changes? We often want to simply let it be acknowledged, or something made up for it, for there being some justice in the situation, or a change in the situation.
And as George mentioned while watching the video, “They are going to assume it is me.” So in case you wonder, it’s not him that I conducted my project on. I think the project was worth doing. You can hear my thoughts on this here, but the video also includes our regularly scheduled vlog week in which we go to a farmer’s market and get evacuated, and I also cook a cozy chicken dish that will be a favorite from now on. You can watch the vlog HERE.
UPDATE
Hmmm… I’m not sure how I’m doing, let’s see what comes out as I type.
- I’m wanting something to be a little different, not sure what.
- I’ve thought about moving my office around or waiting til 2026 and painting it and redoing it a different color and THEN moving it around, which is likely what will happen.
- I’ve thought about moving my bedroom around but George’s desk is in there, and the sleep number bed is likely very heavy and hard to move, so not sure about that.
- George agreed to an Ireland group trip in 2026 and then when he so easily agreed, I am rethinking it -if it is the trip for us and maybe we need to look into something that suits us better and our age group better. I’m afraid there will be too many pub crawls and too many walks/hikes. But it’s good to know that he’s hip for some travel next year. 🙂
- I’m kinda tired of my routine, but not really sure how to do anything about it as I still want to accomplish what I want to accomplish and usually in the order as I do it, as that is most efficient, but I’m considering tossing in the to do list. The minute I do important things will be forgotten, but it feels a dredge, to always be looking at the list. Can my mind not remember anything? Some things but not all. I’m not bored but I need some spice, whatever that is. I do this in late February and again in late summer. The seasons usually give me the spice I need and that’s coming!
- I’m extremely tired of the hot weather. Even though it’s “out there” and I’m “in here”, I’m still feeling the need to hole up and ignore the fact that it’s miserable out there. It’s not that I’m in the heat, it’s that I hate even knowing that it is hot.
- Is Covid going around again? So many are sick and I’m hearing rumblings of pandemics and people saying “ain’t going through that again”. So what is going on with all that?
- I don’t want to be negative, but here is where I list all the things bothering me that I can list. And I’m just so over the pharmacies, the insurance situation, the fact that doctors can’t doctor, and all that. I wish I could just spend my money on a holistic doctor and ditch all the rest, but we are stuck. I mean who wants to lose their house if they end up having heart surgery so…..
- Why does the country and the US put things in our food that they know is harmful? Greed? Where is the love for fellow man and doing things right?
- I fixed an awesome chicken dish last night. Called Plantation Chicken. It was really good. Amazingly so. I was impressed. So far the cooking nights are going well.
- George’s birthday is Tuesday next week, gonna be having fun with that. I have a surprised day planned and of course vlogging it.
- I ordered some little Jesus figures from Amazon and placed them across the house. They make me smile. They are just a little bigger than a thimble I guess. And they say “Jesus loves You” on them.
- Mom’s cleaning person No Showed (again). We are all disappointed. The first time she didn’t have her number to call. The 2nd time she did (if Mom gave her the right number and if the woman wrote it down correctly). Everyone’s aging so anything is possible, but yet the fact remains that she did not show up for at least two times that were scheduled, so there’s that. Maybe there is an explanation but it’s discouraging to say the least. Mom has to interview the cleaning person and make her decisions on who. I refuse to do that b/c I’ll pick the wrong person. You know how that goes. She must agree to the terms, meet them and decide who she lets in the house. I don’t want anything to be my fault.
- I called assisted living to see if there was an open house any time soon. There is one in December. I think she needs to take a look at it. She won’t. But she doesn’t want to keep up a house, and doesn’t want to cook, but yet she wants to live in one. Mainly she just wants to sit in a recliner all day so why not do that where someone can take care of you, clean around you, cook for you? I suppose that is too easy. So she’s taking the hard route so ok that means taking care of the house, cooking, and cleaning. So be it. When the time comes though and those can’t be taken care of properly it will be time for some tough love and hard decisions. And they may come faster than she realizes. It’s kinda getting to be that time you know? She never liked that place anyway, it seemed. It seems like it’d be better for her to check into it and let us help her with the change, and pick the one she likes rather than just taking whatever we can find available when it’s forced upon us, because she will not be coming here. We can’t get along good enough and I won’t have our peace interrupted. Plus our house is not suited for her needs any longer. And we are not redoing things again.
Ok that’s my thoughts for the day. If you want to watch today’s video you can watch it HERE.
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16 Comments
generalbe78ea4a69
Hi Sonya, you sounded like me on a few of your points today. I just retired in January and having to find my new me routine. My husband retired 3 years ago and did almost all of the things, cook, paid bills, etc. What I have found helps me (I am also a big planning person) I only schedule appts Tuesday – Thursday if possible. I decided all my work days had to start on Monday so now it’s my day to just stay in, drink coffee and read, only do what is a matter of life are death 😊I think we try to schedule everything because that’s how we kept up at work. On another thought, I had to go to a formal wedding, black formal attire only. I found the best formal pants suit at Catherine’s online at a good price, loved it, I ordered 2 sizes and returned the one that didn’t fit. (We are probably about the same size).
Keep vloging away, love what you are putting out.
Darlene
LessHustleMoreCoffee
Thank you Darlene. I’ll look online and see! Thanks for being here!
Sybil
Just watched the Vlog and I found it very sad that you are not much further. Along in finding why you feel they way you do when someone repeatedly upsets you and never apologizes….
Keep asking God to help you and the other person. Personally I think best way is not to engage with the person. Or people…that is a very very hard thing to do especially if it’s a close person !
But it’s the only way…if you can’t do that, keep asking God to give you a thick skin and turn the other cheek. Take care. Night night. God Bless
LessHustleMoreCoffee
Thank you.
Rose
Hi Sonya,
I hope soon you’ll be able to snap into your retirement. My sister had this unsettledness when she retired. She said “I’m going to get a part time job! I’m bored and not sure what to do with myself.” Well she tried it for a day. Needless to say she didn’t like it at all and that was it for her. You’ll settle into your days and nights of retirement soon.
As for your mother, assisted living, it will be the best for her and you and George. The one thing we know now and we didn’t when we started our journey into getting our parents into assisted living or nursing homes is that if you call them they will be with you when and if you are ready to talk to your mother. They will tell her all the pros and how many nurses and aids are available.
We found that was best for us. My dad was adamant that he would NOT leave his home, his chair and his life. This became a huge problem as he was falling so many times. It’s frustrating and sad to watch it over and over again. For years we begged him. And in the end it took someone out of the family to give him the information. They take the pressure off of the family. Your mom can be stubborn but eventually she will start falling or will leave a stove on or something that is dangerous. That is the hardest part as family. To watch the failures, the stubbornness is not anything a family should endure.
One day I had a meltdown with my parents. I just could NOT do it any longer. My mental health took a deep dive and I ended up on Lexapro to help me live my life. Be careful of what you will continue to go through while your mother tries to live her own life that directly affects you.
As for the cleaning lady not showing up, don’t go independent . Go through an elder service agency if you can. Get your mother aides, usually 3 hours a day. They will do any cleaning (within reason) , cook and laundry for her. Besides play cards, games or just chit chat. Very much worth it !
I hope some of this info helps you guys.
Take care of yourself and book a 3 day trip to the ocean. Dip your feet in the water, get the fudge and have a nice dinner together with hubby. 🙂
Take care,
Rose
LessHustleMoreCoffee
Thank you Rose!
Sarah B
Tell George that I’m sure most of us do not assume you are referring to him. We may be wrong, but I’m certain most of us assume you are referring to your mother. Not sure who the second person is, but don’t need to know. I read that book too and while it was good information nothing transformative happened. Keep your boundaries, and maybe even strengthen them—that’s ok.Remember you only have to do as much as want to do. You only have to make sure basic needs are met and she has the care she needs. It doesn’t have to be you doing it all.
Sarah B
Tell George we do not think you are referring to him. We may be wrong but we are fairly certain you are referring to your mother. You may need to strengthen your boundaries, and that’s ok. I just love your vlogs—thank you for sharing!
LessHustleMoreCoffee
Thank you!
vibrant271dbb2966
Tell George we do not think you are referring to him. We may be wrong but we are fairly certain you are referring to your mother. You may need to strengthen your boundaries, and that’s ok. I just love your vlogs—thank you for sharing!
Sarah Buckley
LessHustleMoreCoffee
Thanks.
lmirabal777
Hello Sonya, Happy Sunday! I loved yesterdays vlog. You guys make me happy. I’m not sure if it’s your cozy home, your loved pets, your funny George or you. I would venture to say it’s all of the above and once again thank you for letting us in. Change is good and I can’t wait to see what you come up with. A cruise is always good for us, but I think I heard you say that George doesn’t like them…Maybe you can try a four night cruise and then take it from there. If you do choose to cruise my only suggestion is that you get a cabin with a balcony…(only my opinion). Have a beautiful week my friend xoxo
LessHustleMoreCoffee
I would love a cruise so much. Of course recently I watched the poop cruise and Amy Bradley videos on Netflix….so….. but yeah I want to go on one for sure!
lmirabal777
I hear you…I also watched both those shows and they were quite impressive. Honestly, I would never ever cruise with Carnival anyway (the poop cruise) for so many reasons. We love Royal Caribbean (my personal favorite) ships, we’ve also been on Norwegian Cruise line and recently Celebrity. Do your research of course. We live in Miami so getting to either port is not too bad. When we sail from Port Canaveral we do stay in town the night before just in case. On a cruise you can do as little or as much as your hearts desire. You can eat as little or as much too…I also love the ocean and having a balcony to sit and have my coffee in the morning or nightcap looking out to the sea is worth it! of course you need moon light at night otherwise its pitch black, lol 🙂
FYI, my heart goes out to you both with your mom’s situation. I pray she realizes sooner than later that assistant living will do her good. It must be hard to make that decision for oneself when the time comes. I pray to God I have the courage to make it as well as giving up driving. Hard times my friend.
Jean
Girlllll, preach! I am feeling all these things right now as well. I do have the added stress of having a drug addicted adult son that is killing me … we too have a caregiving situation with my in laws who are declining and refuse to make the decisions that would help us now….
The insurance thing, the pharmacy thing and Doctors doctoring are all weighing heavily on me. Finally have a good relationship with our pharmacy for my husband’s medical needs, everything going smoothly and now CVS is closing the only one of three pharmacy’s in our small town. Over loading an already overwhelmed Walgreens …just wanted you to know you’re not alone. I’m trying to stay positive and focus all the many blessings God has showered on us and finding JOY in the small stuff. Thanks for sharing.
LessHustleMoreCoffee
Oh yeah Jean that’s a lot to have going on. The addiction situation is heartbreaking and I know several friends we have going through this.
I’m praying for you right now. So glad we can encourage and pray for each other. This world is hard and harsh and we have to strive to find its beauty and peace!