Just a Few Thoughts This Morning

Good morning. How is everyone? Hope you had a good weekend. Mine was busy at home doing laundry, cleaning, paying Mom’s bills, doing her financial analysis (grouping her expenses mainly into categories for comparison month to month). Have been trying to cram as much as I can into Saturday because Sunday is short. In recent and upcoming videos you will start to see that this is physically impacting me – this schedule. But I’m trying to be calm, rest more, not care as much when things go awry and so forth.

I worked on my video files and taped an extra video also about my mid year goals. I worked some in CANVA and made a new END SCREEN. I will have to see how it works with YouTube. May have to adjust it some. I thought it was fun making it. I made it animated. I thought that was fun. Let me know if you think I should just “un-animate it”. I’m not sure which is better. Click on it below and watch it animate.

So I am able to mark that off the YouTube improvement list. The bottom half is blank because that is where YOuTube suggests the next video, so I have to make sure that part works. I think it will.

The picture at the top of this blog was taken because I thought the way the light was coming through made everything look pretty as almost a silhouette. And it reminded me that our days are getting shorter. I think we need these reminders on a 97 to 100 degree day. We have a front coming through Wed/Thurs which will be cooling things down to the 80’s.

These are the “dog days” of fall – lazy and hot days. We keep the blinds shut tight to keep the sun out and the fan blades blowing extra through the house. Only in my office did I keep the blinds up – my happy spot.

I didn’t really feel like vlogging this weekend for my weekend vlog. My energy level and desire was just waning. There’s only so many weeks in a row where people want to watch you clean the kitchen or clean the house and I wasn’t interested in working on a Marie Kondo clean out. I truly wanted to just hurriedly clean and get to some things on my list and relax some. I worked a puzzle, worked on videos, worked on Canva – and was able to relieve some of my anxiousness about not ever being able to make any progress.

I still filmed myself doing a few things in the house without talking. I learned that trick from another creator. You can film yourself in the moment doing various things and then go back later when you are in a better space to talk and do voiceovers. You can can explain to the audience what you were feeling and thinking in that moment – while you folded clothes, worked in the kitchen. At times it can take such a basic part of life and make it very moving. So I’ll be doing that. lol

I did get some editing done yesterday to kinda give myself a break some during the week. Thus I’m able to blog this morning as it’s almost through with the first run.

I’m trying not to wish myself away through life but everything is hanging in the balance, waiting for retirement so I can have some relief. It was doable until I started having gut issues again and although I am much better than a week ago, I find am struggling to rise above not being able to eat what I want and get as much rest and down time as I need. But I’m breathing through it, coaxing my way through, and trying to find and grasp the happy moments as I can in such a grinding, robotic, schedule.

I can tell I am losing my excitement about life. I’m trying to overcome it and find myself just in a state of numbness or nothingness, just a hamster on a wheel, not getting anywhere.

I think part of this is kinda the doldrum part of summer. We do this in winter too. We are waiting in anticipation for the seasonal changes that take so long to come. I think my excitement will return then. I’m already thinking about fall decorating and shopping.

So I hope the videos are not too boring or sad. I will try to bring in a true aspect though of what I am feeling and hopefully that will keep them somewhat interesting and real. I never claim to be one of those vloggers that make it appear how wonderful everything is. Although they are fun to watch. I find it much easier just to live and let live, lol. You see my open closets and messy dining tables and dust about at times, and an un-vacuumed floor. And you get the raw me, very honest about what is going on.

So it’s time for me to head to work and quit hobby-ing! I don’t like it when my weekend is over. But I’m trying to enjoy work. I’m finding that I am have an onslought of memories of my work life that keep popping it up in my head. I’m truly excited about the upcoming retirement and the closer to fall it gets, the more I realize how close it really is. And that gets me a little more excited.

I want to do a few videos on work life before I retire. Nothing intrusive on my company’s part for those that troll my social media brands to see if I’ll say anything amiss. So no worries! lol. I also have even more videos I want to do after I retire, recapping my work life. It’ll be an extra video and not the weekend vlog, so if people want to skip it they can. I just have some things to say about work life. I have a few other video ideas as well, but then I will have time to script what I want to say with my thoughts in order and not all over the place. I’m sooo looking forward to that.

I’m pleased I’ve made progress on the TO DO List this year but I had wished for a little more down time and rest time. Anyway, we’ll see what to tweak the rest of the year. There are a few things left that I can push to next year if needed but I’m trying to prod them along. One is getting my Passport. I’ll try to get it worked in. But honestly if I need to wait for the appointments and all when I’m not working, I can.

Ok over and out. Have a great week.