Why We Feel the Need to Control Time?

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Why do we need to control our time? There are reasons why some of us tend to want to do this. I’ve been doing some research and it is stemming from neurological stimuli or lack thereof and/or subconscious debris that is floating around in there in our psyches.

In the past year, I’ve been almost obsessed with trying to cram so much into my schedule and I will do almost anything to protect what little time I have in my schedule. Some bloggers have put me down for my constant quest for more time, comparing my life to others, and telling me to get over it and just be happy already. When people question you, you can start to doubt yourself, your cause, your goals, and your life.

While I’m not one to let others sway my cause or my opinion, nor my reality – I do let other’s opinions or comments give me pause to ask questions. After all, this topic is a continual struggle and battle for me.

What do the experts say about the Need to Control Time?

The experts indicate that past trauma, childhood experiences, and relationship experiences that have trained the mind to protect oneself can cause one to want to be in control. In turn this control, eases the anxiety and unpredictability of traumatic situations. Here is one article I read on this from Psyche Central.

Most articles out there are just about the need for control on its own – not the need to control time by itself. I think this topic is a little different. Some answers could resonate with both areas but mostly I have realized today by reading some articles, that you need to have control of time to ward off 1) anxiety and 2) to have control over something.

What do I say about the Need to Control Time?

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Since I’m one of the people that obsesses over the time problem, I have plenty to say about it. This has been a good exercise for me today to ponder and research and I think I have learned a few things. I have also dug deep within my psyche, heaven forbid, to try and bring forward a few things that add or have shaped my desire to conquer all in given amounts of time. Here’s a breakdown of my thoughts:

  • I was taught very vividly as a child to manage my time well and do chores and homework first and do fun things last.
  • As a manager I have been taught and have practiced managing time principles and planning.
  • My life definitely has anxieties around planning and scheduling time. I know from a young age I feel it took me longer to study for tests, took me longer to do projects. I wanted ample time to make sure I could get things done on time. Same for work.
  • Busyness has always been my game. It’s been a problem for a very long time to be able to make my “schedule work”. I started working at age 15. I worked, studied in Highschool, was a cheerleader, dated, and hung out with friends, and was active in church. In college, I studied in Nashville, had a couple of jobs on campus, worked weekends back home, and was in a social club – that mostly was ignored.
  • Being scatterbrained, I tend to overcompensate by planning, creating to do lists, and scheduling my time.
  • As a child my Mom was very controlling of most everything. Now as an adult, George is also very controlling of many things kinda by choice of us both. He loves to do the finances, loves to cook, and pretty much is highly involved in most of what we do as a couple, blesses what we watch on TV, and makes or sways, most of our decisions. Psychologically, the therapists think people like me have a subconscious desire to control something. So this must be it for me. lol
  • Fear and anxiety definitely have a part in my world. Mostly I try not to worry about it. But I’ve learned if you don’t plan time people will do it for you.
  • Mom moving up here and taking a huge percentage of our week has put more pressure on me to try to get more done with my time and honestly while I had this problem before, it really has pushed me into an obsession with having or not having enough time. It’s sent my already “on overdrive” psyche into a new dimension of anxiety.
  • My schedule is packed on purpose. All anxieties and subconscious theories aside. I do have an intensive drive to get my goals done on top of everything else. But I really do want to have downtime as well.
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So What We Gonna Do About It

Well recognizing the issues are a start. Exclaiming I don’t have enough time, will likely continue, especially if it’s true. And phhhhbbbbthhh on the people who say “we all have the same 24 hours”. We do but that is an unintelligent answer to a problem in which we are all different people living different lives with different circumstances. That is like stating “hey we all breathe air”. Let’s contribute something a little more to the conversation. That is a cop out, and a snippy little phrase that says “I could care less” and really need to be contributing some where else with their time, lol!

What did the AI bot say? Well, he/she/they/it (pick your favorite pronoun since that is out there for grabs these days) said to basically said to do all the things I’m doing. So I must be doing something right. I prioritize, manage my time, use a calendar, use a reminder, take breaks to reduce stress and delegate (accept help) when given the offer. I’m always writing about time in my blog and how I’m coping. A blog entry where I talk about how fast time is moving is here. And other one here about why I always complain about time.


I think I’ve decided I fare pretty well in accomplishing what I do with the time I have. It’s a challenge to do more and more, and I do pretty well at getting my goals accomplished eventually. Letting things slide is not something I will tolerate. If I realize I’m slacking in an area I fix it. I realized my house was looking bad and I had ignored it so I made a list and have conquered most of it.

So what if I whine a little. I’ve convinced myself it is warranted at times. There is a serious threat to my time these days. And I’m determined to push some things through. And that is not a bad thing. I take breaks. But I keep pushing. Bottom line is that I am determined, and I’m resilient. And I’ll be ok with that.

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