Purging of the Old, Before Beginning Anew!

When you see Mom’s back porch, you can understand why it was important she have a back patio. Her new one is less than half this size. I took the pic yesterday for my memories before it all gets dismantled.

But let me back up. Mom was very sick and tired on Thursday night when I picked her up. None of us really know why but I suspected it was nerves from pushing herself and also the day it “got real” when the house sign went up in the yard and the photographer/videographer came to get the pics and take video.

She rested some at our house and George got her to the Low Voltage meeting Friday. She was able to tell them where she wanted her internet/cable, extra plugs, and look at the security system and bought it. She was happy with the pricing and came out “a happy woman” as George texted me (while I worked Friday).

After work, I came home and they were on the front porch hanging out. Mom loves the outside and is growing fond of the front porch. Mental note to pay some extra attention at making it nice out there for her. And George is also going to have a railing put up to help her get up and down the steps in the front.

I must say that my Mom has courage to face this. And if anyone can. It is she. I know that she is feeling that she needs our help and I also think that she is seeking somewhere deep within for my Dad’s approval to leave this house. I think it is weighing on her heart as she keeps saying how much Dad loved the house.

She asked me if Dad was alive do I think he would have made the move. I had to be honest and tell her “no I don’t think he would”. Our family dynamic would be different if he were still alive. I think Dad would have been persistent about the peace in our family and that other family members would be active and present in the situation, leaving them to escape the need for such a move.

But in reality, Dad is gone, and much is water under the bridge with family relations. Water rarely flows backwards. Words and actions can’t be undone. So Mom does not have local care from family there any longer. All that is left is continual bouts of forgiveness. And while Mom has her own wrestling with her feelings and forgiveness, which is her own and not mine to share. I do have my own.

Forgiveness can be a very complex and arduous task at times. It is a cluster of varying emotions which leaves me angry, sorrowed, lost, confused, but yet somehow very peaceful and loving as God works through the mysterious angles of my heart that I can’t seem to control on my own, nor see, nor understand.

I can only pray that someday, somehow, someway, that all of the hurts can be worked through and put to rest. But the more time passes, the harder the reconciliation would be as people’s feelings become cemented in protection of their own hearts, facts become twisted, reality becomes a blur, and pride is always an issue instead of humility.

For me I wrestle in my heart because of my need to understand before I can truly forgive and the only way I can overcome this is to give it all to God and just let Him handle it. And I think that is where I am and likely where Mom is. I just physically and mentally, have no words, other than what I can write here. I simply have lack of understanding as to the complexity and magnitude of the situation. It is much grander than I. And so God has to take it.

And in my own opinion, I think Mom’s Friday night illness was a case of nerves wrapped up in a ball of physical wretching, a letting go of all that she needed to purge and let go of as she closed one big long chapter of her life, and stepped in the next. It’s as if the climax of the novel has emerged, with the hammering of the sign into the front yard. The decisions had already been made in recent weeks, with each signing of the contracts to buy the new and sell the existing, but the stake driven into the ground on Friday, drove a final stake through her heart.

But Dad IS coming with her. His love will surround her across death – because that is what God’s love does with the believer. His gift of eternal life shines through to Dad. Dad is eternal and in different form. His love is his spirit now and not contained within a body. The house is just a house. It’s where Dad enjoyed as a respite at the end of the day in his earthly body. His spirit is about love now and he can be with Mom wherever she is. He can be with my sister. And he can be with me.

A house is a dwelling place, a rest for our weary heads, a shelter from the storm, a place we park our favorite things, a place to eat our favorite meals, and a place to welcome family and friends. Many memories were encased in this shell of a house.

But all in all, it is the shape of the heart that matters most.Mom will have her memories and Dad is no longer physically there anyway, and George and I, who both work FT can’t be down there much in our off time. And Mom needs family. She needs happy!

The next few weeks will be incredibly hard, as this house closes down before the next one is even visible. But Mom can hold her hopes open as her new dream house comes alive in Lebanon, TN and only 15 minutes away from us. Where NEW and loving memories can be made! And a renewed hope that family reconciliation can one day be made before it is too late……. Before the rooster crows, the third time.

So it’s been a heck of a spring so far in the year of “Project Move Momma”. The calendar has turned and May somehow arrived. Quarter end was finished Friday and much was accomplished so far in the move. We are only a few bites in to the elephant but when you consider what progress has been made so far it is a LOT! A house to buy and a house to sell and contracts signed for each – is no small task. We are 5 car loads into the moving from Mom’s house to ours. A trip to the dump has been made by Mom. A trip to Good will she will take this week. And I believe we’ve tossed about 6 or 7 bags of trash of items no longer of value or decayed. Guest bedroom drawers and closets have been emptied, precious photos lovingly packed and secured!

It is a big week ahead! The house listing goes live on Wednesday. Mom’s Design Studio is this week where she gets to pick her colors and her fixtures. I get to go with her for that! We plan to eat lunch after! I’m taking a VACAY day!

We are unsure about being able to pack and move things once the house is listed as people will be wanting to tour the house, but once a contract is signed we can continue the move process. George wants to get a cargo van and get a lot of the bigger items in it and we’ll make several trips to the storage unit. So once we get the contract going on Mom’s house – we hear it’ll only be about two weeks – we will then be able to rent the storage unit and begin the cargo van moves. Then only the really big furniture will be left for the U-Haul. A lot of work ahead. Then we will watch as Mom’s house is being built, we will transform our house to make her comfortable here as she awaits the dream home and the closing on the new place. Then move #2 will happen.

One bite of the elephant at a time, but we are about to move around another notch of the curve here!

I have more to share, but honestly think I’ve shared enough for today. I’ll be back in the morning and post some more! My plan is to post MONDAY and then it may be THURS before I’ll get a chance to post again. If I’m not here then, it’s because I had to get to work early Thurs morning. So could be Friday. Busy busy week ahead!

I have much to do today in this blessed day of being home. The usual, laundry, ironing and cleaning and ordering and prep for the week ahead. The shower gift is wrapped for an after work shower this week. Two trips to Columbia happening this week too. I also will be making my plans for how to move things around here at the house in anticipation of Mom being here for a few months and making it more comfortable for her and moving some things about so she has room for her things in bedroom and bathroom and kitchen. She would like for her toaster oven to be in the kitchen. At first I said “no” and realized I was being selfish. I will make it happen! So need to focus on a few plans for the house. So when I have spare time I can be focused and get that done. If there is a list, it has a chance of being accomplished! Just a chance! You know how long my lists are which is why I have to categorize them!

And in honor of Dad, along with this post on Mom’s move, I’m listing this writing I ran across this week from a funeral brochure that came across my desk.

Have a great week! See you in the morning!

Prices of Getting Nails Done, Moringa Supplement, and Packing Begins at Mom’s

Good morning! Several have wondered how I fared after the COVID vaccine. Everything was fine. I did have stomach pain but that could have been unrelated. I’ve had the diverticulitis type pain going on some this week. While the pain started off differently this time, it has settled into the same pain and same area as always. It seems to come and go these days as it pleases. I’m not even sure it’s diverticulitis that is happening. I need to get a colonoscopy but man this year is already filling up my PTO days so I keep putting it off. Likely I will need to stop and take time for this. I figure after Mom’s house sells and we get MOVE#1 done and get her in with us will be a good time to do it and before the MOVE#2 in late fall when her house is finished being built. Between moves is the best time. I’ve just had too much pain this year.

Nails for the Endurance

With the time situation we have been having, I made the decision to go for getting my nails done again with the pink/white French look. I did this Friday after work as a treat to myself. And with the higher blood pressure thing going on, it’s one thing to not stress about trying to fit in my home time schedule. I was not getting the time to do them once a week – usually need about an hours time – to get everything done. If we were going to be ultra busy the rest of the year, then that is not something I’ll have time to do well or often. This will give me two to three hours a month back to me. Because the nails don’t have to be retouched until 3 weeks. However, I had sticker shock when I went in.

It seems like we have New York prices now, lol. I know they are having to make up for last year and business lost, plus they are having to buy new pedicure chairs as they are wearing out. But it’s leaving me to have to go price some other salons. I may or may not be able to get better prices. I hate to leave my salon I’ve gone to for ages with my nails, but I may have too. So with the pink and white here’s my pricing:

The first time $55 to set up the pink and white.

Three weeks later I go for a refill on the pink as my nail grows out and they’ll trim the white down – $35.

Three weeks after that I got for a refill on the pink and a redo of the white – $45

And the cycle continues to the $35 and $45 alternatively

(Update: The cost used to be $45 initially, then $32, and $22. It was already high.)

About once every blue moon – maybe about every year or so – sometimes the thing has to be completely redone over – it’s usually if I’ve been really rough on them and have damaged them. Or just sometimes they need a complete take off and redo and that is $55 again.

If any of you get your nails done – what kind do you do and how much do you pay and how often? Geez.

Weekend Packing Has Started at Mom’s

So we got up yesterday, had coffee, and immediately set in to go to Mom’s. She was fixing breakfast and we called her as we were leaving Mount Juliet. It’s an hour and half time to get there. We had to stop a couple of places – three actually. I dropped off my Thred UP bag (consignment clothing app) at the post office and the shower gift I FINALLY got wrapped early yesterday morning. So glad to get those things done. We went to Walmart to get Mom some Potassium pills she wanted and then to Academy Sports for George to see if they have ammo for some guns he has. He has a hard time getting the ammo. It’s on our “bucket list” for me to shoot a gun. George is going to give me another gun safety class himself and then take me to the range place and teach me how. It scares me but in today’s world I’m going to have to learn I guess so I can protect myself. I need to get up on the gun laws but I know now we can carry w/o a permit – I think?

So we got to Mom’s and we WERE ALL SHOCKED that we were able to pack up things so quickly. George started in the office area and packed books. I started in the guest bathroom and brought things out to Mom which she placed in the boxes. It took next to NO TIME before we had the car loaded and we could not load any more. We threw some stuff away. So next weekend we will take two cars. And be able to do twice the loads. We are only packing up things that won’t impact people looking at the house. Next weekend though I think I’ll help clean some for the viewing. The house looks good but there are a few places that needed dusting and or little dust webs or corners that needed sweeping. These are mainly hard to reach places or things Mom can’t see too well.

By 12:30 we were saying our good byes to get back home.

I guess we were back home by 2:00 or 2:30 and we unloaded Mom’s stuff. I have identified on the boxes with sharpies on florescent stickers as to what is in each box. And it is going into our basement. As we were working in the basement I reloaded the car with stuff to go to Good Will. I had some clothes, baskets, and decor that I was no longer going to use. That cleared out almost a car load of our own stuff from the basement to make room for Mom’s.

I showed George the prices for the storage areas and how many there were in our area. And the prices were not too bad. That is where Mom’s furniture will go til her house is ready. Mom keeps asking about availability. I didn’t call yet on that b/c we were not ready for it and don’t know exactly when. If it’s available today it’s not going to matter. What will matter is if it is available when we need it. We will be needing it soon though (late May, June, July) depending on house sale. So once the house goes up for sale I will do a Pre-check on general availability so we’ll know what we are dealing with. Are they usually full, hard to get? Or plentiful? Then when we get a contract and I know the terms and approximate dates we can think about going ahead and renting the space if it is hard to get any. I know they are more popular in the summer months.

I worked on more laundry and ironing after cleaning on the basement a bit. Worked on the house some picking up things.

Photo by Pedro Figueras on Pexels.com

Blood Pressure Update

So I’m sure my blood pressure is probably up and that my machine is somewhat accurate, but I’m thinking it is not entirely accurate. For example I get readings that are twenty points off with in the same 5 minutes. It seems to do best against my arm with no clothing. I get a lower reading. But once it kept tightening and tightening and I had to stop it – it was going up to 265 when I stopped it and was squeezing my arm so hard it was hurting. Your machine is supposed to take your BP not cause the BP to go higher! lol

So I do feel a little bit better knowing that *maybe* some of my readings were not accurate.

Moringa for Lowering Blood Pressure- A Wonder Pill

So I ordered Moringa <—-click on the link to open a new tab to read about it. It seems safe as long as you don’t take more than the recommended amounts and it seems to cure all! So I’m thinking of dropping some of my other supplements. It says it’ll take about a month. I’d rather try and lower BP on my own naturally than to up the meds. So before calling the doc, I’m going to try this. I will still be monitoring my BP. I may have to order a more reliable BP machine though if this one keeps acting up.

It does say to be careful taking it with your current BP in case it gets it too low. Well if it is that good – all right! WE have found an alternative to modern medicine! If mine is high I don’t think it’ll bring it down too low. But I am going to experiment with this. I never order any thing that says it has known side effects. My research has shown this to be safe. It’s a natural thing so I’m going to take it.

It takes about a month to work. I will hold off on calling the doc. I will monitor and if it goes up and spikes though I’ll call the doc. But I’d like to give this a chance.

Photo by Skylar Kang on Pexels.com

My Overall Plan for Health/Wellness and Reducing Blood Pressure

  • Trusting God
  • Breathing Exercises
  • Mindfulness Practices of Staying in the Moment
  • Exercising 20 minutes – gotta start somewhere
  • Eating Better – Nutritious Choices
  • “Findy Happy”
  • Looking into my Grandson’s face
  • Planning without worrying
  • Enjoying my friends
  • Looking forward to my next dog which will make things RIGHT!
  • Pretending I get to go RVing – even if I won’t.
  • Looking forward to the new flooring – even if I still have to wait
  • Living today – even if I’m gone tomorrow

I have been a bit depressed and scared the last couple of days, just shocked over the blood pressure thing. I do this after every medical report too. Til I get my mind on something else. But I can’t stop living and enjoying life. I just have to try and resolve this. And I’d like to do it naturally if I can.

Today’s Agenda

Well, because I needed to “find some happy” today, I started working on the next video! I was thinking Texas was next but there’s one in between. I’ve added the video and photos in the timeline and it’s over an hour’s worth of footage. So I have my editing to do. I was considering giving up the videos because I was fretting so over not having time to work on them. I prayed about it and lo and behold I had time this morning. It makes me happy. So I think it’s better to keep doing them as I have time than to fret over not getting to do them. There is no time pressure. I just have no consistent way of creating a time schedule for myself while working and two pending “moves”. I mean even if I get a year behind – it’s still in chronological order and I’m recording our life and having fun. So what? I’ve not been videoing much lately so I’ll probably catch up a bit. Not a lot has really happened worthy of video. And I’ve not have enough time to create topics, which is something I’d like to do if given the time, aka retirement.

So the agenda today:

  1. Start the Video (Check)
  2. Cut George’s hair
  3. Good Will Run
  4. Oil Change
  5. Grocery Run
  6. Change George’s Sheets

Any time left is good gravy!