Our Little Getaway, Plus Life Lately

Happy Saturday! Just wanted to share the little getaway we had last week. What fun! I hope you enjoy it. You can watch it HERE.

Real life update:

It’s been busy as usual. And I’ve been a little overwhelmed and frustrated trying to catch up. I sat down yesterday with 90 things I wanted to do yesterday built up over time. And made myself get it down to 40 but pretty much only got about 27 of them done. Normally I could have knocked most of them out pretty quick, but life is getting harder. Here’s what’s going on.

• I’m not feeling well, but hanging on to my physical. There is no fever, no blood, no pain – just tiredness, not much energy, bloating, and some IBS stuff. Will ask to be tested for celiac just to be sure. I’ve stopped taking some of my supplements as one or a combination of them may be the issue. My supplements helped me a lot otherwise so I’m sure that is igniting the tiredness. So I’m back on B Complex, D, and I will be adding back a probiotic but a different one. All of my supplements leaned toward “digestion” – avoiding constipation – and I might have taken it over time a little too far in the other direction. So I’m working on the right mix of supplements and doing a rework on the gut biome. Things are much better and improving in recent days, except for bloating after I eat, which is so annoying. When I’m not feeling well, it’s hard to get stuff done.
• I have a consult meeting with a lawyer, that I will take Mom to, so we can talk to them about options for Mom’s protection to ensure that she has enough $ to cover her assisted living funding through the rest of her days. So if the money runs out she is still funded. George and Susan did this for their Mom and it worked out great and gave peace of mind. The clock starts ticking usually at 5 years. So we should at least look at it. But for our appointment I have a 19 page document I have to complete. :-O. I started working on it yesterday.
• I’m a little behind on laundry
• The travel – 2 trips – in the last month has set me back getting my normal schedule done which backed me up by about 10 days really. That is the main culprit right there. And I need to realize that but it frustrates me to be so “stacked upon”. It’s good for me to get away though, but the list when I return is overwhelming to navigate and to separate b/w what needs to get done, what I want to get done, what has deadlines, and when can I relax a bit. What I want to get done and relaxing are hard to come by so the joy kinda leaves the room a bit trying to catch up. Then there’s Mom.
• George is now wanting me to do videos for his music channel and quite honestly I just do not have the time but I hate telling him no because he does a lot for me and for Mom but I honestly just do not have the bandwidth in the week and when I stop to do that it puts me behind in my own YouTube and in life itself.
• Maddie has a cough that is bad and I think we may need to take her to the vet. Probably kennel cough but it could be her airway to her throat which is a thing with chihuahuas. This is just weighing heavy on my mind.
• Little things have been hard lately or frustrating. Things like passwords. You enter your password exactly as you had it and they say it’s wrong. ::sigh:: Simple things like just trying to get into your bank.
• Then there’s a situation (or two) that I have been or possibly have been gaslit about. Something I found out about and I was told that I had been told about it but I don’t remember it. Did I really not remember it? Gosh, It was a big thing to not have remembered. But maybe we were just so busy I said ok and went on. Or am I really being gaslit? So either I’m losing my memory or just have had the wool pulled over my eyes and it makes me mad/sad b/c either way it’s not good.
• I have my office I’ve been trying to paint since March and I’m astounded that it’s the end of October and it’s not painted yet. It’s very discouraging.
• The housework is getting really behind and that frustrates me heavily as I like things to be organized, cleaned.
• I’m ordering Christmas gifts and the boxes are coming in and it’s even overwhelming, lol. I opened them all yesterday and got everything listed. I didn’t have time to but I had to stop and do this. Plus all Mom’s orders, plus my own, plus the dog foods. I have had to order a cart that folds to put in my car so I can get her “stuff” from the car to her room without having to make multiple trips of carrying things.
• The state of the house is depressing me too. As we can’t seem to keep up with the decay of the house. Yes the roof/gutters were repaired and George is working on the ceiling in the bathroom painting it, in which the popcorn ceiling started to come off, making the situation not improve. The bathrooms need upgrades, the kitchen needs upgrades, the new floors we bought are already having issues and there’s tape holding it together. I’m starting to have visions of moving now because I’m tired of it. But I’m trying to find joy in the disarray and that is hard for me to do. But only by the help from God am I able to put up with it. It seems like it would be an investment to the value of the house that we will be selling not too many years from now to go ahead and do the work and increase the value instead of decreasing it and not getting as much for it.
• Mom has had a lot of things I’ve had to work through – her insurance for the house, and her renter insurance got confused. So I had to call and work through that and get it fixed.
• The house is not selling.
• And I’m kinda burned out on trying to do life honestly. Yesterday I just felt lifeless, hopeless, and very much depressed. If life is like this, what’s the point? I took a real dive yesterday. I feel like I cannot get out of the cycle and something has to change.
• That leads me to consider taking a break from YouTube. My tiredness and weariness is coming through on camera. I even lost a few subscribers. It’s hard for me to grow the channel and it makes me feel like I want to give up now with all that is going on. I really don’t want to. I just don’t have the bandwidth to carry all this load anymore. I’m thinking I will take a break but I really struggle with even that, and it makes me sad.

I don’t know what the answer is. I just keep praying and trying to figure out how to structure each day so I can squeeze the most out of it, how to feel the best I can, and get my rest. Somehow it will all work out, or not.

You can watch the video here if you read the blog first.