Fun with Family, and a Few Household Frustrations
We had a great week this week having family in town and it was much needed few days off. We still managed to get a couple of really good work days in the house. And Katy and the kids got to go see Mom.
I was exhausted when the week began and over the last few days have been able to catch up on some rest even though we were crazy busy. I’m behind on so much though.
I have a lot to do here in the house that has been ignored and also there are several phone calls I need to make as I’m still trying to iron some cancellations out on Mom’s end (AT&T not cancelled even though we cancelled it, SSA appt needs to be made for address change, and need to set up her expanded Xfinity cable) and make sure my health/dental insurance is going through (our broker is not very attentive, I’ve discovered, so we have to stay on top of it) and Maddie needs a vet appt.
The housework here at the house is beyond needing a good cleaning but I keep moving it forward because of all the things we are doing for Mom to get this house cleaned out and/or ready for the estate sale.
Also trying to work in a shelf that Katy and Cody were needing to get rid of from their storage here at his grandma’s. They were going to take it to Good Will but I asked if I could have it. It used to be here in the house for a few years after Katy graduated from college. And before that it was in her dorm room. But it fits in the sun room perfectly. Katy said “you could have had it all this time (10 years) as it was sitting in storage”. Oh well. I also have a few things of Mom’s to work in. Like her silverware. I like hers better than mine but I’ve not had time to make the switcheroo, lol.
Of heavy concern is that some structural things are happening with our house here. The gutter situation has been bad for years but George has not been willing to spend the money for it. It’s on the very long “we’ll fix it later list”. We’d have to get it out of investments, but it needs to be done because it’s already impacting the ceiling in my bathroom with leaks. I can’t imagine it being the roof as the roof is fairly new but I believe it to be back up from where the gutters are not properly guiding the water, and/or backed up gutters from leaves not cleaned out.
The gutters are horrible, my bathroom ceiling is leaking, the basement ceiling needs to be fixed again (we had it fixed and the plumbing leaked again within a year after and they had to cut the ceiling again to get to the plumbing). Our bathrooms and kitchen are old and way outdated and becoming dysfunctional in areas. We already cannot use one of the bathrooms because of a problem in there which I’m still unsure what the problem is but it likely has to do with plumbing. And part of the front porch is hanging crooked on one side? What? It looks awful. The ceiling fans and lights are not working properly in the den and in the sunroom but we keep putting off electrical work. This project has been on the list for about 10 years. I’ve kindof given up. By the time it gets fixed we’ll be downsized or moved.
I’ve decided I’m not worthy of having a newly remodeled kitchen or bathrooms or anything quite honestly to be fixed. I don’t know why George doesn’t like to fix things. We have the money. But it’s in investments. And I’ve wanted to take a trip for a loooooooooong time since we’ve been retired OTHER than Texas. But we’ll wait til one of us is sick or dying and we can’t enjoy it.
Anyway, I’m beginning to get disgusted with my situation here. I mean really. Home used to be the refuge but now it’s becoming a source of anger and frustration because everywhere you look there is something that needs to be fixed. Now the ice maker is broken. BOTH garage doors are broken and you can’t easily get in and out of the garage. The list is starting to get really personal.
I’m overwhelmed and honestly ready to move out. You think I’m kidding? I’m not. I am very disappointed in how things are going here at the house. And I am about to blow a gasket because I live here too! I should have a strong say. And this is NOT how I want to live. I don’t want to have a blow out with the spouse, but there will be a plan put in place soon or there will be trouble between us in a very big way. I’m about 10 min past the limit of what is acceptable.
I’ve prayed over it and I hope that George decides to relax a bit with the finances and have some faith and let it be fixed because now the list is overwhelming. And even the things we got done 5 years ago are starting to fall apart (flooring). I mean if we can’t be responsible homeowners, then do we need to live in an apartment? Gosh I hope not but my goodness, we are needing some repairs big time and the list just keeps growing. And the ice maker and garage door-now that’s just personal.
And it’s a shame because if we can’t afford to keep up the house then maybe don’t need this house. I really don’t want to wait til we sell the house to make the repairs because it will be like the old house in Gallatin, we’ll pay for repairs but won’t get to see the benefit from it- the new owners will. This makes me mad.
I may just have to override some of his decisions, which I don’t want to do, but somebody gotta do SOMETHING! This is getting really old. And some decisions need to be made, if not on his part, then by me, because I’m over it. I don’t want trouble, but I have a standard for how I like to live and this is not it. I need to see a plan and some action. Or there will be some trouble in the house. And it won’t be the repairs at that point.
River (my grandson) took a pic of me while cleaning out Mom’s dresser. I thought it was funny. He also learned how to take a video too but I forgot to tell him he needed to let it run for a bit, so the video was really really short, lol.
Well I felt I needed to do a pop in and I wanted to give an update. I’m making progress through Mom’s house. I finished with the clothes this week and now I need to finish her dresser drawers and the utility room and then go through the garage and open all the boxes and see what is in each one and get out memorabilia. I am going to have to sort it out and memorabilia comes home with me – and my sister and I can go through it later. And I will pull out things for the estate sell. I’m putting a box of holiday decor out for Mom to use at assisted living outside of her door. I’ll keep that box at my house and then can take her what she needs for each holiday. I’ll have to decide what will work.
Katy and Cody and the kids are on their way back home. The time goes by fast. I’m sad to see them go. But I guess it’s time for us to get back into the villa house and make more progress there.
We need to buy groceries. We have hardly any fresh veggies, yogurt, etc.
I just feel like my life is falling apart on all fronts and it’s making me very upset. But I’ve asked God to help us with our own house and with everything else. I have to trust Him that things will get taken care of, before I try to take matter into my own hands. It won’t go well if I do. George likes to be in control of the finances and expenses. It usually does not go well if I question anything or try to be involved. He gets irritated with me very quickly if I even question things.
We do a lot of giving and do a lot of things for the Lord, so I just hope He will take care of our needs too, because they are starting to overwhelm me now. I don’t do well when I’m overwhelmed. At least it’s not this bad as the pic below, but we are on our way, if this keeps up, lol. I feel like crying or screaming but that’s what other members of our family would do, and I don’t want to be like them so I will just keep praying that the Lord will provide for our needs too. Til then I kinda just want to be somewhere else but here. It’s really embarrassing to me honestly at how things are going (or not going, lol). I don’t even want to have people over anymore. I used to think the pop corn ceilings were ugly but now the ceilings are not just popcorn but have leaks and holes in them. I wish things could get better instead of always getting worse. Is that too much to ask? Apparently so. I just need to get away I guess, but who am I kidding? That would be asking way too much as well.
And with that, I’ll close and get to the list of many things I need to do over at Mom’s, get the grocery shopping done, the phone calls made, and so forth.
Video goes live tomorrow. See you then.
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18 Comments
Mona Morgan
Good morning, Sonya! I can relate to the house frustrations. Mine is falling apart too! It IS overwhelming. I think I need to start with flooring and go from there. At least I’m in control of my own finances, but the problem is that I don’t really have much in my spare finances to draw from. lol. Life is so short and I find myself wanting to spend my spare money on travel and expereinces while the house falls down around me. Sigh. I hope you can George can work out a plan, starting with the most important things first. The house will need those things done when you have to sell it someday so hopefully he can see that the money spent on it is an investmant and not just wasted spending.
LessHustleMoreCoffee
Someone just mentioned that it’s only moving money from one asset to another. I hadn’t looked at it that way.
Anonymous
Sonya,
You have so much on your plate right now.
Please take care of yourself. I can relate to your problems. Our house was built in 1983 and needs a complete renovation. My problem is my twin grandsons that are 15 live with us so my house is full. I would like to empty all the rooms and go from there. You need a vacation. I recommend a cruise. It’s nice to be able to eat and not have to clean up and someone cleans your room everyday. It works well for us with the boys. We are scheduled for a 7 day cruise July 11 leaving out of Galveston. We live in East Texas. We are looking forward to it.
Maybe having a heart to heart talk with George with God leading you would help. Praying for you.
LessHustleMoreCoffee
I would love to go on a cruise. I’ve never been and it’s in my bucket list. George holds me back from traveling like I want to but one day maybe it will work out. I certainly thought we would travel more than we do and it’s a major disappointment for me.
Judy W.
A year or so we replaced our windows, gutters & had the exterior painted. Our financial advisor reminded me that we are just moving the money from one asset to another. His comment really helped me see that taking care of our house is important & necessary. It is an asset.
LessHustleMoreCoffee
That’s really a good point! Thanks for bringing that up!
sybil wilson
Oh Sonya, I’m so sorry that things are getting overwhelming for you at home. I’ve heard it often that husbands and wife’s are at loggerheads over what to spend money on…I’ve no idea how men can’t see how silly it is to keep money in investments and not investing it in their own home..After all if you try to sell it if it’s showing damp patches, broken doors, etc etc they won’t buy it at a reasonable price….whereas if it were done up it would sell much easier. I’m only sorry I can’t give you and good advice as I woudnt know where to start….but i definitely think it’s time for a good sit down TOGETHER and TALK …At the bottom of all your feelings I think is that you are so TIRED and I can only join in your own prayers and ask GOD TO KEEP YOU IN HIS LOVING ARMS….. night night. God Bless. Xxx
LessHustleMoreCoffee
Thank you. 🙏
Tracy Marie
Hi, I love the channel and I look forward to the weekly blog/vlogs. I was in that same predicament for many years and we didn’t have money to make the repairs on the house and it is very frustrating. When I was reading this blog, I thought about your mom‘s house. I remember it was built not too long ago. Would that be big enough for you and George to move to? I’m not sure if that would be the area you would be interested in but A thought I’m sending prayers for A positive outcome.
LessHustleMoreCoffee
No Moms house is too little for us. Rooms are too small and not enough storage. George has a while music studio downstairs and I have a full office. It’s also an HOA and we think we don’t want that. I wouldn’t want the memory of that place either. It wasn’t exactly a place of happiness for me. But associated with negative emotions. Sad but true.
Thanks for watching the channel. 🙂
Holly
Watching your video as I watch this. Love seeing the deer in your yard, I with we had more that came to visit our yard. They are such gentle and soothing creatures to watch. Thank goodness for your sister! Mine lives in FL but I really appreciated it when she could be here to help. I wish she lived closer.
Ditto all the comments above, time for a serious talk with George, maybe let him read the blog if he doesn’t already. Those investment funds are partly due to your efforts over the years too! You deserve a say in how they are spent long term. And the longer “problems” go on, the bigger the issues become and then they are even more expensive to fix! A small leak could be $500 but let is go on and then it becomes the plumbing, plus maybe walls, floor that is warped, mold, etc… and then it becomes several thousand that could have been saved had it been addressed right away!
Not so much money but we’re facing a list of “fix its” in the house now that we are retired. My spouse absolutely hates having people in the house when he’s not here. No excuse now. We’re tackling one thing at a time. Had a roof repair done, had the roof inspected so we can put a full replacement on a realistic schedule and plan for it (2-3 years). Plumbing is next and we’re going to get one thing fixed and proactively have 2 other things inspected – our water heater and sump pump are past their expected life span. If they need to be replaced, we’re doing it. Electrician is next. We’ve scheduled some big yard work (trees and overgrown shrubs) to be done – they will get here in July. Like you, we took care of elderly parents home for a couple years and ours got only the basics done. Then we have flooring, new kitchen appliances, and some small fixes to address that I think we can do ourselves. My house also needs a big clean. I’m thinking of hiring a cleaning company to come in one time to catch me up and I’ll keep it up from there. Luckily, my husband does help with chores too. Our house is way to big for the 2 of us but it just doesn’t pay for us to move at this time. I’ve told him I’m not spending my retirement cleaning the house for hours every week so he has to help more. We are considering moving in 5ish years and don’t want to have to put out thousands of dollars at once then, much less painful, and stressful, to do it in little pieces now. And I don’t know what it’s like in TN but here in IN where we live, it’s not like you can call someone and boom, they show up! We’ve had to get on their schedules and sometimes it takes weeks or months before they can get to us! So the process isn’t fast even though we’ve decided to do it now. Kind of frustrating to be ready to get things done and now we have to wait again…!
You ABSOLUTELY deserve a renovated kitchen.
Hope you get some self-care time this week. Small wins to keep your sanity. Wishing you a better week!
LessHustleMoreCoffee
Thank you. It’s so hard trying to balance what to do but we need to start doing something because the timing will never be right. I will pray for you too. It’s hard at our age to get things done physically too.
Anonymous
Keeping a home up and making necessary repairs is so important. My fil never painted or got his house updated and it was in such bad shape when it sold he lost thousands of dollars. We just had old carpets and tile ripped out and had LVP put down. And we both love it and wish we would have done it sooner. It make the house look bigger and is so much cleaner than carpet.
Next on our list is to paint master bath . Then next we want new countertops and backsplash for the kitchen.
Just doing one thing at a time makes it easier.
I hope you can get things resolved with your husband.
LessHustleMoreCoffee
Well I’ve let George know I’m unhappy with our household situation, and I will be “bugging the tar” out of him til these things are done. It’s getting ridiculous and personal now. I’m not a happy camper! 🤪 I live here too and have say!
Anonymous
You should be able to use money for what is really a good cause! The house would be worth much more if all those things were fixed. You have worked hard all your life, and I am on your side. My husband is much the same way, but I am a bit like him. I’ll take it or leave it… it’s my nature. Also, I have dementia and have quit worrying about much. I live one day at a time. I am going to pray for you, because his money is also your money and your house is going down quickly.
LessHustleMoreCoffee
Thank you I appreciate the prayers.
Anonymous
This is Donna, from Missouri. I’ve followed you for at least 3 different blogs.
LessHustleMoreCoffee
Hi Donna! Hope you guys are doing well! I see you singing over there! 😉 On the YouTube!