The Week Gives Way to a Little Attitude!

Monday, April 27

We headed over to Mom’s at 9:30 for our 10:00 appointment with the realtor (who is actually a family member). We were giving an idea of what the area was bringing per sq foot and the outlook of what might be expected. Because we are family, we talked a lot, lol and enjoyed our time. It’s Cody’s momma and we had a lot to catch up on and of course we have grandkids in common.

I had to go through some of Mom’s assisted living paperwork (there’s gobs) and have her answer a few questions about her medical history and also about her parents medical history.

After she left we went on to work on Mom’s banking. The money had been cashed out from investments and was sitting in accounts. We needed to work on separating her and her sister’s accounts, and we got that done. So now we needed to transfer $ and into a high yield account that was liquid. So we turned Mom’s personal savings into a money market account. And I didn’t even know you could do that. Since my name was on the account and we did it thru Mom’s account, we could set it up via phone request and I had to sign a document via Docusign. So we set the account up on Monday and the interest rate had not changed so I waited for an overnight update to see if the interest would correct itself after midnight. Makes sense so the interest doesn’t change in the middle of the day and confuse things. So I held off making any transfers.

I also set up Mom’s follow up appointment for 2 months out (also shocked that getting a stent has a two month follow up instead of two weeks or something like that). I also set up Maddie for a grooming for Wednesday.

I also called and got an appointment for Mom to walk through her new place. We still have to wait for the person to move out of Memory care (hospice? not sure) so the person currently is in mom’s place can move to Memory care unit and then Mom’s unit can be remodeled to the new style and then we will be given a move in date. But the place is nice enough to let Mom see it amidst all the chaos. However, we have to come at lunch while the current person is eating so it doesn’t upset the current tenant who with memory issues would not have the logic to understand. So we are taking George next week so he can measure. I assigned him to the task, lol.

We also went to the grocery store on the way home and got our groceries. I was out of a lot. I have a tendency to go and get my things every two weeks when things are so busy. So I was out of a lot.

I fixed a cold glass of one of my favorite wines, Coppola. It was a sauvignon blanc. Dry and crisp. And just what I needed after a very long but successful busy day.

It was a beautiful breezy day yesterday but after bedtime storms moved through and we even had a tornado warning. Look at the pic below and you will see the blue dot near Nashville. And you can see the “hook” underneath the “s” and “h” in Nashville. I was already keeping an eye on that hook just before the warning went out. Quickly they changed it to a severe thunderstorm warning and most of the night was uneventful. The wind DID blow a huge limb out of a tree that George had been worried about coming down and he said God did the trim work for him.

Tuesday, April 28

Today’s work included doing all the transfers money wise on all the accounts. I had 3 different transfers to complete to move money to Mom’s money market funds. Since some of her and my aunt’s accounts were intermingled I texted, called, and screenshotted the transactions to my Aunt so she could transfer her amounts out and we have only a bit in the account that they will split once the final interest amount lands in the account and then we’ll have the bank close it out.

So long story short. We have done BIG things in the last week! Huge things. I’m pleased. Thank you Lord for the wisdom, energy, and clarity to proceed with these things and for all people to cooperate.

Once Mom sees the place, I’m going to take her to look for a recliner. May as well wait and make sure she doesn’t want any other pieces of furniture so we can do it all at once.

I’ve been working on video editing today. And washing my sheets. I’m almost finished with Arthur Hailey’s Airport so excited to finish that off tonight or tomorrow and start a new one. We have more storms coming in tonight and I guess I will just go to bed and not worry and just wait for the alerts to start coming in. We needed the rain but the storms make me edgy. I’m trying to trust in the Lord and the meteorologists.

For the last three days my back has been hurting me more and more. It was a burning sensation and now I have both the back pain and the burning sensation. It’s hurt me all day today even when sitting. Standing hurts less than sitting unless I have the heating pad on it. The softer the chair the better. The burning sensation started last week. My guess is that time I lifted Mom at midnight and she didn’t push up while I was lifting, left all the weight on my back. I could tell then it wasn’t good but it didn’t really start hurting til later. My concern is it’s getting worse and not better over time. I hope my trying to save her $ doesn’t mean I end up with a bad back. I knew not to be pulling on her. And she tired and wasn’t pushing up with her feet. We had done it successfully all day but for whatever reason that time she did not push up and I was pulling and well, here we are. I knew I couldn’t do it but we didn’t have anyone lined up and she needed help and the hospital was pushing her out the door.

I’ve been trying to avoid Tylenol but I believe that I’m going to have to dive in and take some this afternoon. And that is where we are today.

Wednesday, April 29

On this day we took Maddie in for a spa day and trim and Dexter had his doggie daycare day. George and I ran to Sprout’s for some fresh veggies and I made a huge orzo salad.

Thursday, April 30

I have been finishing up Mom’s paperwork packet for the assisted living place, so I’m ready to go to in case they want it Tuesday when Mom does her tour. I had made notes of the missing information pieces that I had to gather. Things like Mom’s medicare number, my sister’s email address (she is one of the contacts, in case something happens to George and I at once, she will be THE ONE).

I’ve placed a call to Mom’s doctor to see if they want me to drop off her packet for them to sign off on her meds. It’s for the assisted living care as they will be using their prescription service there onsite – otherwise it’s $250 extra a month as they have to pay an extra person to work on all the claims. I have a packet for her doctor to sign and not sure if it’s best to drop it off or email them as he has to indicate what meds they need to get for her. If Mom’s doctor works best on email I can scan it and email it and we have a paper trail. I don’t want it to get lost. So waiting for their call to see if that is the best route and where to send the email.

I also changed Mom’s appointment for the shot she gets in the eye. We had been traveling to Hendersonville and there is an office closer to us near where all her other doctors are. It takes almost an hour to get to Hendersonville but only 20 minutes to get to Summit. The doctor she likes is no longer at the Hendersonville location anymore anyway so I changed her appointment location. The lady I talked with at the appointment desk sounded annoyed for some reason but maybe she personally was having a bad day. I mean why drive an hour and 10 min extra in a day round trip when you can do a 40 min round trip eh? Saves time and gas. The last time we made that trip over there, Mom had asked why it took so long. She truly didn’t feel like going – so the sooner I can get her in and out of a place, the better.

So today has just been kind of me picking up the debris and missing pieces. I’ve rested some today and also planned today. I put everything on my legal pad into my spreadsheet which is divided by “things to do this week” things to do in May, things to do in June, 3rd quarter, and 4th quarter. I have all tasks related to the new things going on with Mom, her move, the estate sale, the sell of the house, and so forth.

We can’t hire the movers until we have a date locked in. But I need to get Mom to go ahead and be deciding what clothes she wants to take, jewelry, and go through the drawers of the furniture she wants to take and decide if all of that is going. I am not opposed to helping her do this, but we need to get started on it. She has a lot of clothes, a lot of jewelry, and needs to get an idea of what she wants to take.

Once we have a date, I think things will really start to rolling. Right now we are in the calm before the storm. She has already exclaimed that she wants a new recliner. I think this will be the 3rd or 4th one then since she has moved up here. But it’s where she sits almost 24/7. So….we need to get it before she moves so the old one can go in the estate sale and no one has to move it. We can’t move anything anymore personally, it’ll have to be hired help. Our backs are done for and after moving Mom’s things twice, George is not wanting to move anything again. That liked to have killed him in so many ways. But he’s willing to help orchestrate the move I think, just not actually do it himself.

George had guys night out tonight with the next door neighbor and other friends from the community. I am going to watch a movie, read, and eat popcorn and orzo salad, lol.

Friday, May 1

I find myself a little discouraged today, if I’m being honest. I’ve been working hard doing things for Mom to get ready for the move. But I’m starting to see a little attitude in spots. And that is making me have a little attitude of my own. First discouragement and now anger as it’s settled in overnight. Things were going so well and so peaceful and I was so appreciative of it. I’m not sure if someone else stirs up her thoughts or if it’s her own fear that stirs her up. But she can be so peaceful and then all of the sudden just a ball of fury and fear.

Mom had a couple of little “hand on her hip” moments yesterday. She wants to handle some of her meds and let them handle some of it. I expressed concern about how I was afraid she would be overdosed if she had the meds and they did too. All her meds will be going through their pharmacy and she began to balk over that. I explained it was $250 extra per month if they had to file the claims through her pharmacy and maybe we were talking about two different things but she raised her voice at me. I told her I had zero intentions of arguing with her over medications that I was just trying to look out for her but she can argue with assisted living all day long about it if that suits her. But she will not hear any more arguments from me and I’m not fighting those battles for her. She is on her own on that one.

I truly hope she does not go in with her hand on her hips with this place from the onset. But yet it is her life and her situation and she will either choose to create chaos or embrace the situation with love and compassion which breeds yet the same. I cannot create that for her. She creates her own “kingdom” and she will be the one to have to live in it.

She also demanded, not ask, that I continue to take her for her “dips” on manicures because she said “she did not want to be dropped over there and dumped”. I found the comment, after all we have done with her, very bruising and hurtful. Like she would expect that from us? If she recalls, I’m not one that has abandoned her, I’m the one that has seen her through, even though she has been less than nice to me many times.

If I’m being honest, this is the 2nd pass at writing today’s blog post. The first one was very scathing to the core, asking things like – if the Spirit of God is within a person, then what the hell did you do with it? Is it under the bed or hidden in the closet? lol. I’ve calmed down since then, but I did read it to George before I erased it. It was about a 500 word essay of a mixed bag of emotion, questions, and boundaries.

I don’t mind saying that I still intend on keeping my boundaries in tact and if necessary I will walk completely out the building or the house – even on the main day of moving or packing -if I’m being treated disrespectfully, or yelled at. I will not stand it.

George apologized yesterday to me for not taking up for me in the past when this has happened because he knows blood is thicker than water (sometimes I wonder, about that phrase because my friends have been there for me so much more in the way of time, emotional support, kindness, and wanting to be there for me personally). But he has warned me that in the future he will not allow any further instances of disrespect toward me. I’m always treated nicer when he is present and that is why I really like for him to be present because when people yell I start to shake and I think it comes from my childhood and being yelled at so much. My spirit just cannot handle it. Even last night’s conversation, I feel, went south because she already knew he was not there as I told her he was out with the guys, so she unleashed on me. But I told him about it when he got home. So I truly can’t trust being alone with her without being afraid a gasket will blow. This makes me sad. I thought things were getting so much better but I guess someone has stirred her up or she’s allowing fear to take over.

I’m trying to be understanding. A lot of people say “aww it’s just what they go through as they get older” but sadly no – it’s kinda always been this way. It’s just a constant battle between good and evil, constant battle of what to say and how to say it, having a gentle loving tone or a hateful tone, dark over light, being quiet or boisterous.

But it makes me very tired, and honestly just makes me want to give up and not try. It just leaves me exhausted and pained. And I’m just being honest and I don’t care who knows it. If yelling and raising her voice is her evil, then being extremely honest and open is mine. I’ve always said, whatever you do today, know it’ll be in print tomorrow, so make today amazing. God put His truth in black and white. And I’ve put mine in it as well.

And that is all she wrote for today.