Mom in the Hospital and Finding Her Assisted Living Place

Above is a pic of me in the visitor chair and Mom in the hospital bed beside me. It was no time to photo or video anything so I just took a shot of our feet. And you can see her wheel chair up there.

I am so far behind in blogging. It was a crazy week. But I will do my best to recap the days as everything unfolded.

Monday, April 20, 2026

Mom had one more test at Summit Hospital (Tri-Centennial) to see if she qualified for the TAVR procedure. It was a heart catheter test to see if her veins and arteries were clear. Once we got to the room they asked her if they could intervene if anything was wrong, like put in a stent and Mom agreed.

They were gone for about an hour longer than the procedure was supposed to take. She was away from the room for about 2.5 hours instead of 1 to 1.5 hours. When they brought her in the doctor came a few minutes later. They did the stent and they could not let air get to her wrist and had to release her wrist to the air slowly – so many millimeters of air at a time – so no air bubbles could get in her veins I think. This happened when I got my arteriogram so I remember it well. Only it made her whole arm swell up and her hand went numb and her whole arm turned purple and when they finally took off the brace it was very painful as the feeling and the blood came back to her. She was in so much pain. And then she began to get sick.

During this process the nurses were trying to get us out of there being the last ones left in their wing. I’m sure they were ready to go home. As Mom was over there tossing cookies and writing in pain they were asking her to go ahead and get dressed to be discharged. They asked her three times to get dressed. Mom didn’t. She couldn’t. She was ill and in pain. The third time they asked I said “she can’t and explained the situation as I thought they weren’t able to see it with their own eyes”. I couldn’t have even driven with her throwing up and writhing in pain. I told them nicely but firmly “you cannot discharge her like this, she is in pain, throwing up, and how do we know it’s not her heart as she just had a stent put in.” Finally a nurse said “I agree” and left. I wasn’t sure what they were going to do but I think she called the doc and the doc signed off that she could stay for observation.

They sent us to room 718 – it was around 7:30 ish or something like that. I hadn’t had dinner but didn’t want to leave her. George offered to bring me something but I had some nuts and a granola bar. And it was after dinner time hours. Mom had eaten something they gave her in the other unit. They leave a few packed lunches for them to give out. Mom woofed it down and that is what made her sick in that prior unit, being on those meds (we suspect but didn’t know it then).

She began to feel better and wanted to watch TV and then began my quest for finding a comfortable sleep situation. The recliner was comfy for sitting up and leaning back but for sleep purposes was lacking after a few hours. I did sleep about 2 hours in that chair. I finally figured out at 12:00 a.m. how to turn the couch thing into a bed. And that was fairly comfortable although nothing compared to my own bed. But I got another 4 hours there. But around 4 am. or so is when a nurse noticed Mom’s arm was bleeding, which could be dangerous as she could bleed out as it was a major artery. One nurse called other nurses and there were 4 people in there working with Mom as she was in the bathroom and that’s when they discovered it. So they called the doctor. You could tell they did not want to have to call Dr. Hoda. I’m sure they had been calling him all night for things. But they called him (again) and her arm did not bleed anymore. The applied pressure and got her bandaged up again. Then we were both able to sleep after that.

Mom’s arm actually looks so much better. This is Saturday and it’s not as purple as it had been. So we are 5 days out in improvement at the point this pic was taken. Bless her. She has been through it. Oh I also meant to say that from here Mom could not go to the bathroom or get up from a chair without help. She pretty much became bedridden in the hospital b/c she had to treat her arm like it was broken. I asked her if she wanted my help but there were wires and the hospital bed had to be locked and so the nurses had to be the one to help and if they were slow, well, they had to change her. This went on all night too. I felt so bad for her. But what can you do?

Tuesday, April 21

Tuesday, Mom’s breakfast never came. They told her it was on the way. It never showed. I called George and asked him to get her breakfast from Chic Fil A when he brought mine. I also asked for coffee in a thermos from home. So he brought breakfast. The hospital explained that her order hadn’t been turned in is why no breakfast came. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Tuesday morning there were rumblings of her being released. Really? I reminded them she lived alone. I explained that I could not lift her. My right arm (rotator cuff can give me issues if I lift grocery bags with them over a certain amount and I cannot life 189 lbs). So we asked about home health care and such. The hospital social worker was asked to come talk with us and basically told us any cost would be on our own not thru insurance. She looked nervous as she talked with us, like she was afraid she was being put on the spot or afraid she would be asked the wrong question. I have no idea, other than she looked nervous. I later learned that if Mom had stayed one more night the insurance would pay for her extra care and I think they are required and pushed to get the patient out the door. This is so sad. You could see it on her face she was uncomfortable talking with us. She was a really nice lady and I suspect that is what was making her nervous seeing us in the position we were in, her knowing what she knows and what she has to keep us from knowing. How crazy.

We had a conversation with the social worker about all our options and she offered suggestions and we talked about various types of care – assisted living, palliative care, and then later hospice. Mom agreed she was ready for assisted living when that was brought up. Tears stung my eyes and I wanted to hop up and say hallelujah. So they put me in touch with an agency called “A Place for Mom”. George already knew of the agency and we’d been planning on using them for Mom when the time come anyway. So the social worker had the agency call me and we chatted and they had home health aid agencies to call me (two of them so I could make a choice) and also would put the feelers out for a 1 bedroom “apartment style” assisted living location as Mom did not want a studio room that felt like the hospital. I don’t blame her. She wants it to feel like a little condo I guess.

Finally the social worker said that Mom could have one more night in the hospital but we had to understand that we needed to find her care til she could be by herself. The social worker again, was very nervous and came in several times in the meeting with the first in-home people I interviewed that had met me at the hospital. It was going to be about 2700 for 5 days or so. So I wanted to interview the other company but they couldn’t see me til 8 a.m. This again made the social worker nervous. I wasn’t nervous, but just very busy trying to fit in all the calls that were coming in.

I told Mom since she had nursing staff that I would sleep at home the next night and get good sleep and regroup as I had a day filled with appointments the next day and would be staying with her the first day she was home until we could hire a home aid person. They were non-medical buy the way, but could clean, fix a meal and do a lot. I still had to interview that other company at 8:00 a.m.

George fixed spaghetti for me that night. I was wanting comfort food, lol. I had a big day tomorrow and didn’t know what was going to happen about getting help with Mom. We both agreed to let go and let God and we knew he would provide. I was just grasping at what I needed to do for the moment.

Wednesday, April 22

I got up at 5:30 I believe as we went to bed early the night before and we talked over coffee and I listened to messages, returned messages. George fixed eggs and breakfast sausages for breakfast and we ate in the sun room. He was really taking care of me as I took care of things for Mom. I had a call at 8:00 with the other company to provide care in home, so I had already showered and dressed and packed a bag for the day and also got a bag ready for Mom to bring things home in.

At 8:00 a.m. the company never called. I was annoyed and George reminded me that maybe God was forcing this to happen. He said maybe he’s trying to stall you, so let it play out without being frustrated as we’ve prayed over what is to happen. True that. Wise man. Good council. lol. I did call the company though and let them know that no one called b/c they did have better rates I’d heard so George said not to let my anger with them, eliminate them.

While trying to get out the door, the 2nd company for home help finally called. Another lady besides who I had the appointment with. This person was very kind and we talked a lot but abruptly she had to get off the phone. I also had to leave as I had an 11:00 tour with an assisted living place in town. So we didn’t get to finish talking.

While all that was going on, the hospital was wanting to release Mom. George had already agreed to go and be with Mom from mid-morning until she was released. They released her around 11:15 or so. I was getting texts from George while doing the tour. I had another tour lined up a couple days later on Friday with another assisted living in Lebanon, but it was a studio and didn’t check all the boxes and was further away.

George got Mom home and settled. She was upset at having ride in his car as she likes my SUV instead of his Honda Accord (higher up) but he told her that his car was it, or she could find another ride, lol, b/c I was busy looking at her assisted living place.

I signed with the assisted living place. I did not want to let it slip away. It was more than I thought, but honestly not much more than any of the other places but this had just come open and so I grabbed it as “A Place for Mom” had given me what that had in our area and it was slim as to what was open. George and I discussed that closer is better b/c traffic is increasing b/w Lebanon and Mount Juliet and having her closer to us was going to make a difference as to how often we saw her and the ease of getting things to her. I loved the place and it’s getting remodeled. The person in it had been there for years and is going to memory care. They are waiting for a memory care spot to open and it’s coming open soon, but once he moves then they will repaint the unit, add new cabinets, and new flooring. So it will be mid-May to end of May before she can move in.

I then had to stop and get Mom’s new meds and also George called and asked if I would get her something to eat. She got breakfast at the hospital but they were sure to let her go before lunch, lol.

My mind was so full of everything that I needed to tell everyone. I had calls to make, calls to return, explaining the facility I’d toured and answering messages to family and all. I had brought a rolling office with me – Mom’s stuff, my stuff, things to do, my overnight stuff. I was ready to spend two nights there as I knew that it might take that long to get help hired.

After putting a deposit down on the room, and knowing the full fees were coming due soon, I really didn’t want to spend money on home health care person and began toying with how we could possibly get through the week. The second company had said they had no contracts and didn’t have a minimum of hours that had to be signed up for. So I held that in my mind. But was concerned that they seemed to be having trouble holding phone conversations, lol.

I spent the night with Mom and slept 1/2 the night in the recliner. When leaning back, the recliner would slowly inch back into a seating position, lol. I couldn’t keep it in a flatter position. It was annoying. Mom needed periodic help every few hours to get to the rest room. I was worried about the lifting, but she would push up and I would pull and we could make it work. So I knew then that I would be the health care aid b/c I wasn’t wanting to spend her money that way if I could do it. But at midnight she needed to go and I lifted her and she wasn’t pushing up and I could tell it strained my back. Since then I’ve had a burning sensation in a nerve on my left hand side, and periodic pain. It’s not bad. I’ve used a heating pad and that helps. I told her that she was going to have to push with her feet b/c I can’t lift her whole 189 lbs from a seated position if she is not helping. I said if she can’t do it will have to hire help. She said “give me a minute and let me wake up”.

The next thing that happened was a pure miracle. She hopped up from the chair, used her walker and got the bathroom on her own, used it, and came back. OMGosh. Morale immediately lifted all around. I knew I’d be sleeping in my bed the next night.

So now that she didn’t need me, I went back and slept in the back bedroom. I had my phone and told her she could call me, lol. So I had my pillow and blanket and I slept in the guest room and slept hard until sunrise. I think it was around 6. I think Mom had slept good as well.

Thursday, April 23

Since Mom was doing ok by herself, I went to McDonald’s and got us breakfast. I had fixed coffee which we both enjoyed at Mom’s so I got unsweet tea for us to sip during the day.

I had some calls to make again and returned messages – family, assisted living places, a place for mom, etc. And we had some banking to do to close out Mom’s investments to pay for assisted living until the house was sold. I arranged our realtor also which is family – so that was easy, lol. We also discussed the game plan with my Aunt (Mom’s sister) as they had some accounts together and a deal that they had made so we got a game plan on all that.

We set up the realtor appt and I canceled the other assisted living appointment place that did not check our boxes. That other place was sour when I said we had already found a place. She asked where and she started to trash them and said they didn’t have good care. She said that with Mom sitting there and I knew Mom would be upset. It really made me mad and it was unprofessional. I told the lady, “honestly they said the same thing about you”. She said “they don’t even have memory care”. I said “actually they do, as that is how this room came open b/c the guy was moving to the memory care unit”. She said “oh ok”. I thanked her for her time and told her I had her number if things didn’t work out but this other place checked all Mom’s apartment check list as she didn’t want a studio.

George arrived with Maddie at my request b/c I was missing my girl. He also brought some files we needed. I had some bills to pay for Mom and also we needed her account files.

I cleaned Mom’s fridge and threw away most of what was in it due to past due dates. Her eggs expired in February. I was so thankful that assisted living was coming soon.

Then Maddie and I headed home.

I tried to catch up on some laundry and was able to finish the video that I uploaded for Saturday. I really didn’t think I was going to get it done. The Lord is good. He gave me just enough time.

George went out and bought steaks for dinner. It was so good. We needed some good beef protein. It’s been a while.

Friday, April 24, 2026

Of course I checked on Mom and made sure she was taking meds and eating something. She loves her Ensures and can’t eat much at a time. She ate donuts and cheese and crackers. I was not really happy about that and was thinking we really need to get into assisted living as she doesn’t even want to heat up all the frozen meals she has.

Saturday, April 25

The Lord was really placing it on my heart to take her some food today. We’ll be getting any groceries tomorrow. But I asked her if she would like Cracker Barrel or BBQ. So I took her Whitt’s. George went with me. We got her mail and sat with her for a bit. I figured out how to post my videos on her TV so she could see on a big screen what her new place looked like.

And that is where we are right now. My sister was adamant about me not worrying about coming to Columbia for the shower but to take care of Mom. I agree it’s a bit much with all that is going on. I have a lot of paperwork I need to do for Mom’s place. And I need to figure out our plans for next week. We have a realtor meeting on Monday. So I need to look up the latest HOA info for that on Mom’s house. I’m catching up a bit at home but I still have so much to do. We have to get Mom’s groceries tomorrow also. So I hate I can’t go and am relieved that she understands.

And that is where we are right now. lol