Why is Life So Busy in Retirement?

Sunday, Feb 8, 2026

I’m just gonna be honest. I’m kinda stressed out right now. I shouldn’t be I don’t think but I am. First of all, the pic above was something I asked Chet to do (ChatGPT). Turned out pretty cute. Oh to have been able to do this back in the days when I was in the graphic group and blogging on AOL, lol. Little did we know what technology would come about. But is that Maddie up on the cabinet or a white cat? lol

So, the last week has just been really busy. I have been trying to keep up with everything and still relax too. But the more I do, the more that I need to do. And to be honest, I’m just tired and need to be in a silent place with no demands, no noise, and just beeeeeeee.

We went to church this morning. It’s a day already just getting ready, taking care of the dogs and getting out the door on Sunday morning by 8:15 but we do it. I do World Bible School, check the weather, and finalize grocery lists in the car on the way to church while George drives. An hour of church and an hour of Sunday School. Backing up….On Saturday nights (last night) I always verify Mom has what she needs on the grocery list b/c half the time she is not aware of what day it is since she doesn’t have to know.

So we went to Publix and I juggled two grocery lists. Mom had a lot this week. I had a nice list myself. Had to back track a few times despite my trying to be organized about it. Every week there is an item that we search for. This week it was German Chocolate cake, a craving she had. Didn’t ever find it, but we had anticipated such.

We went to Taco Bell drive thru for a quick cheap lunch. We usually end up buying lunch on Sunday for all of us and we needed cheap this week. Mom was craving a Nacho Bell Grande anyway so that worked. It was kind of good if I’m being honest. So I had a bean burrito and two crunchy tacos.

Mom wanted me to order her Amazon order, but it’s with her Vanilla Cards she got for Christmas and I’ll have to upload it using my desktop – not my phone. It will be less tedious. But I have what she wants in the Amazon cart and I’ll figure out how to get the card loaded and get it ordered. I think I just tell Amazon it’s a visa and have to upload it. We don’t get the full amount though so you try to order up to as much of the total as you can. Amazon won’t take two cards if you go over so the whole balance has to be on the one card. So it has to be less than the amount. Whatever’s left we probably can’t use anywhere else. I tried to use mine at Walmart I think, and they wouldn’t even take it. Maybe it wasn’t activated. I don’t know. Anyway, It’s not going to be today that it gets ordered. I’m done fooling with complicated things for the day.

I need to get some things done for me now that it’s 7 p.m. already. We have company coming tomorrow and will be busy with that and then I’m taking Mom out on Tuesday and will be busy with that and organizing her pantry closet. So it might be Wednesday before I get time to order her stuff. :-/

I also had to get Mom to write a check for the remaining amount of tax money on her property taxes ($124) so they could give her a complete refund. It’s the silliest accounting I think I’ve ever seen. She’s already overpaid, but she has to overpay more so they can round off and send her $300 back. My eyes are rolling so far back into my head they might get stuck. I mean don’t we live in a world of smart data, smart systems, smart intelligence. Yet we can’t do simple math in our government offices? Listen to myself, why would expect the government to do math? Aren’t we in trouble b/c of our math? Yeah….next subject, moving on.

George fixed her vent that she couldn’t get back on and blew the leaves off her porch which she’d asked George to do a long time ago. Also we failed to bring her $95 to her that George got cashed from last week. I forgot to remind him. So we have that on the list and maybe I can give it to her Tuesday or next Sunday but need to make myself a reminder. I’ve got too many reminders as it is. lol Can someone remind me to please set YET ANOTHER reminder.

One of her tax refunds came through. I guess the other office had it together and it came through for her discount on property taxes. I’m dealing with city and county and not sure which was which at this point. But I mobile deposited that in her account while we were there and the other will come through after I get the $124 check in the mail. So the check is made and I just need to get it mailed.

She also wants me to call the electric company and try to get the surge protection on her house. I was trying to give her the correct number so she could call and she asked me to do it. I think I told her we would do it together on Tuesday. I will call and let her do the talking. I don’t know anything about it and swore I would not handle caring for two households. I really have no desire to get into the handling of two houses. If it requires that then we need to make other arrangements. I know at some point I’ll be handling the sale of the house and all the contents but I can’t manage keeping up two households. Yet here I go this week having to make calls to fix things and clean up pantries. It’s my fault for saying yes. I don’t mind the pantry so much as I enjoy organizing things but I don’t know anything about power surges and so I will dial it and she can talk to them and we’ll do it on her time when I’m over there. I have a full week this week already.

By the time we got home, it was time for me to start cleaning my house for tomorrow. But honestly, the house is just gonna have to go. I’ve done a few things. I had laundry to do because I do two loads of laundry on Monday’s but I won’t do it tomorrow as we’ll have company so I did one load yesterday and one load today to make up for none tomorrow. I also told George I would cook dinner tonight since he was going to be watching the Super Bowl. I fixed chili and hot dogs. It was really good. I am freezing the rest of the chili though for lunches since we are having company tomorrow. I got most of my mess cleaned up, but George had been cooking some things for tomorrow and the kitchen had a lot of dishes already drying and dishwasher washing so I do have a few things in the sink til we can reboot and have more space tomorrow.

I had started my puzzle finally by separating the inside pieces from the border pieces but had to bring it back in my bedroom for later as we’ll not need the card board table in the way tomorrow. I also need to vacuum Dexter and Maddie hair up tomorrow before they get here and clean the bathroom really quick.

Silly me, though, I sat down for an hour and read my book and played Farmville 2 in an effort to chill out and feel like part of the day was mine. That helped, but then I’m irritated when I have lots to do after the sun goes down and it’s been a day already. But I got laundry put up and a few things picked up. I’ll have to do the rest in the morning. They get here around 1:00. So I’ll be so glad to see them but I hope my house is decent enough.

I think I’m just stressed because I’ve been dealing with Mom’s list, the tax stuff, trying to get her things taken care of and we have things we are trying to do here. I honestly feel like crying right now. I’m just tired.

I also needed to get the new Life Group date set. So we picked Sunday March 1 and I sent that to the group.

I knew today would be hard because it would be busy. I was going to vlog us getting ready for company and capture what all George was doing in the kitchen but it was not meant to be. I was mentally spent by the time we got home at 2 p.m. And I was in NO MOOD to pick up the camera.

I tried to create a calm atmosphere for myself by playing a YouTube music video with relaxing jazz and a pretty scene, but the streaming was interrupted and sounded like a speaker coming in and out and in and out. It was mangled and not working properly. I spent about 30 min trying to fix it. George had to ask Chet how to do it and finally fixed it. That alone put me 30 min behind in dinner. George had already put me 30 min or so behind as he wasn’t through in the kitchen and took longer to do what he was going to do in there.

I was also irritated that George moved all my spices to other places in the cabinet. I had asked that my few little spices I use be on the bottom shelf where I could reach it and find it and so I called him in to find all of them and asked again to keep them on the bottom shelf. That was freaking me out as there’s probably 100 spice containers and I can’t find anything in a crowd of stuff like that. Also my stuff in the pantry was rearranged and I couldn’t find the cocoa powder and I had to move an entire two shelves of stuff around to find it. I spend so much time organizing this a year ago so that everything would have its spot and it’s all been rearranged. And I just messed it up even more tearing the pantry apart trying to find what I needed. Grrrrr. This also put me in a horrible mood. Between the YouTube streaming issue and not being able to find anything I needed. I spent a total of about an hour just trying to get the world in an operable condition for me to cook and finding items. And this is why it’s hard to have two cooks in a kitchen. And also why I used to love to cook but dread it now sometimes. It becomes so aggravating. Normally I lay things out ahead of time just because gathering the items takes a living forever. But I thought spices would be easy. It would have been had it not been rearranged.

I was also supposed to do video editing tonight while the Super Bowl was on, but I was doing laundry folding, cleaning, and eating and cleaning up the kitchen. All that made me late. And now I’m doing this blog entry since when I’m upset, it helps regulate my emotions. But I do need to try to get started on this video. My week is so busy this week. I have very little time to work on my video much less any personal projects. Everything else in life is taking over this week. Arghhhh!

Over and out.

Thursday, Feb 12

Well, it’s pretty easy to say that this week has been so busy that I’ve not had much time to do anything much for myself, much less come here and vlog. I really don’t have the time today but I’m forcing it. I’ve been very stressed. Normally I have Monday and Tuesday to get things done in the house and most of the video done. But we had company Monday (which I loved, so don’t misunderstand me) and then I took Mom out for lunch and reorganized her pantry on Tuesday. And then yesterday I worked most of the day on things for Mom. And my video has been an afterthought. I’ve worked on it and still have several more hours before finishing, but today is upload day and if I’m up half the night then I’ll just have to be. I have a dentist appointment today and then Mom has an appointment with Milligan tomorrow.

Tuesday, I took Mom to lunch. I was in no mood to be around anyone as it was my 3rd day in a row to be occupied without being able to get normal things done in my routine. So all these things are screaming at me in my head to “do me next” and I can’t do any of it. So I was trying to calm myself down thinking —ok tomorrow I’ll be at home all day and can catch up. But for today let’s just enjoy the day and eat a nice lunch. Sounds easy but honestly I was not in a good mood no matter how much I tried to convince myself. I was just pulled in too many directions in my head.

So I back out of the garage and George’s car is in a different place from where it usually sits so I’m careful to get out past it and then turn. I backed into the RAV4. I’m surprised that my car didn’t alert me. Normally it does, but there’s a couple of dents on the back of my new Honda now and a new dent in the RAV4. I cried. Already stressed, already running late, already had a little word game with George before I left b/c he hadn’t understood what I was trying to say and apparently I didn’t understand what he was trying to say. And then there’s Mom over there waiting for her “day out” because she’s “tired of looking at the four walls”. So I get over there and she’s asleep in the recliner. She didn’t even hear me come in. But she woke up after a few minutes and was startled to see me. She hasn’t been sleeping at night. So we went to eat but she wasn’t feeling good.

I looked down and we were basically on empty. Why in the heck do they schedule the gas light to come on when you are almost out? Can they not warn you at a quarter of a tank so you have time to get it? How in a smart world does our technology not get more efficient? It does me no good to wait til the last minute especially on a day where I’ve had words with my spouse, I’ve had a minor fender bender, and trying to get my Mom’s needs taken care of. So we had to find a gas station and it was hard to get to through the traffic. And we were supposed to go to Cracker Barrel as mom had a card, but I had put all of her cards on my desk at home so I could get her orders done and I forgot to pull the Cracker Barrel one out for us to use. So we’ll have to use that on Friday when we go to her doctor. So we went to Ruby Tuesday.

I will never set foot in that Ruby Tuesday again unless I hear they have updated it. They sat us at a table that had sides that flip out on each side of the table to make it bigger but the sides would stay flipped out to be flat. They sloped downhill so that your plate was not flat. And on the way to the table the carpet was so worn out that it was black with sticky stuff all over the walkways so your feet stuck to the carpet all the way to the table. They set us at a table for six as well.

Our waitress asked how we were and I said “well I have had a bad day so far and was hoping a nice lunch would make me feel better but this table is sloping and our feet are sticking to the floor and this is not helping my mood any. I’m just honest, lol. She offered to move us but Mom was already seated in her walker and I didn’t want her to have to move on my account so I told her we’d just suffer through it. I got a salad only as so many of the other things I wanted was a stupid calorie count and I didn’t want to have to fool with leftovers because Mom would have leftovers and we’d have the walker to deal with and doors and all that.

So I was in a bad mood and Mom didn’t feel good so neither of us talked. Nothing good would have come from my mouth. I was seething after the morning I had. I was needing some time alone after not getting any now for three days. And I was attracting negative energy with my own. And she wasn’t generating any positive vibes herself, lol.

Finally we get to her house and I begin doing her pantry. She sat the whole time just about leaning forward with her head in her hands. I don’t know if she was trying to show me how bad she felt by doing that or if she’d have been doing that anyway if I wasn’t there. So I finally asked her “Mom, do we need to go to ER or a walk in center, or call your doc?” She said “no not right now”. She always says that unless she is in bad pain.

So I got the pantry done and it took a couple of hours. I threw away 2 huge bulging bags of old expired food, old bags, and such. Lifting it was heavy but I finally got it in the bigger trash can out back. And my back has hurt some since along with the right arm that is not supposed to lift things. It had healed but when I lift anything heavy (even groceries) it kicks up again in pain. I was also mad at myself for saying that I was not going to keep up two households but there I was trying to clean up a mess as she is not able to keep house anymore (another reason for her to be in assisted living). I just don’t need to be working on two households. It has done a number on me but it’s totally my fault for not obeying my boundaries. I did it out of love and the fact that I’m good at organizing things, but I was a total wreck by the time I got home. I cried on the way home because I was so stressed out and needing rest and some down time and she’s not feeling good and won’t go to the doctor.

So yesterday I ended up calling the doctor to see if their nurse manager made home health care calls or to see if someone could start coming to the home instead of her having to come to the office. Mom said she would call the nurse but she didn’t so I took it upon myself to do it. The doctor immediately called me back and I explained to him that she’s lost weight, thinks she is not on the right meds, can’t sleep, and is miserable and uncomfortable and won’t agree to go to their office, could they assign a home health person to come out. No he said, that she would have to be evaluated. He said to make an appointment and tell her she was going. So I said I’d try. I made the appointment and told Mom that we had the appointment so they could get her meds straightened out and try to get her sleep figured out. So Mom agreed.

Because I have not had down time and was confused myself, I took the first appointment for Thursday. The nurse had said “tomorrow” only I thought it was Thursday that day and that would mean her appt was Friday. However, George overheard me telling Mom that her appointment was tomorrow on Friday (I thought it was Thursday and not Wed) so I had booked her appt for Thursday and I already had a dentist appointment for Thursday. So I had to call the appt desk back (wait time on line for 10-15 minutes) and then change it to Friday and then call Mom back. :-/

She said “you are confused b/c you are having to do so much for me this week”. I didn’t want to agree with her but I’m just a robot this week and honestly had not even had time to consider what day it was. I had been so busy so far during the week that it felt like it was Thursday.

So after that, I needed to get Mom’s Amazon order done with those Vanilla cards that she got for Christmas. Uploaded those to the Amazon account and realized I’d have to do separate orders for each because you can’t use two credit cards in one transaction. But one of the items she picked out was going to be over the amount. So I just paid for what she wanted with my own money and then used her card to order two books that were on my Wish List. I didn’t need to spend the money but hey – I did and so it was a reward for all my troubles this week. I already have so many books I cannot read them all before I die, so hopefully I’ll get to read them some day. lol.

I also got her tax forms together and when I can get a friggin’ moment to myself I will make the copies and get that sent to my Aunt in the mail so she can get Mom’s taxes done at the place she used to work.

I also called Mom’s power company and the power company was checking on Mom’s electrical set up and they told her she’d have to have an electrician to fix any surges inside the house. (I have been preaching that an electrician needed to be called since December when she told me they started having issues back when my Aunt and Uncle were visiting. But no one ever thinks I know what I’m talking about). Electrician could have been in and fixed it since December but no, the issue has caused a fridge to have problems and be fixed, a dishwasher to have problems and had to be fixed, and now the den lights.

I’m not sure why people call me for advice, I give it and then they don’t take it because they themselves know better. Then why call me and ask me? I’m serious. Why call me then? My advice could have saved at least one of the repairs. But I am not the homeowner, so it’s not my place to override a decision.

I also got Mom’s check in the mail to overpay for her taxes (eye roller again) so she can get the full $300 back. Don’t ask me to explain that one. Government math. And I addressed a Get Well card for someone at church.

Once all that was done I worked on my video some and had an amazing round of Farmville 2.

Today I have a dentist appt at 1 but must get the video uploaded today and I’m still working on it. And then tomorrow of course is Mom’s doc appointment, which is apparently much needed. She is seriously declining and actually told me she wanted to see if there were some different assisted living places out there where there was an apartment instead of a studio design. Most of the world is open concept but I will check on it. Probably not this week. I’m rapidly deteriorating myself this week.

I’m also trying to vlog this week. It’s happening but on the heels of trying to do a good mood vlog, it’s always ironic how the universe tries to slam me the same time period. I’m trying to overcome and be in a good mood, but honestly it’s been so crazy dealing with all the Mom stuff, that life is slamming me into a concrete wall right now.

Of course Valentine’s is Saturday and we picked out where to go but it’s just kinda like an afterthought. So I pleasantly realized it was coming up and I am looking forward to it after the week we are having. The week could be worse though. But for me having so much off the routine, throws me for a loop. And not having down time throws me for a loop. So I’m on the struggle bus this week. Instead of just being out a couple of days during the week. I’ve been busy or occupied off of my routine for 5 days of the last 7.

I have also decided that since life is getting harder and my time more pressed, I’ll be stepping back on a few things. I’m not giving anything up, just stepping back.

So let’s just walk through this together….sadly most of it is God’s Work but so is having to do so much for Mom. If she’s taking more time something else has to go in another of the God’s Work arena.

Ways I can Step Back My Schedule for a While

• WBS – instead of adopting 18 per day. I’ll adopt only 10
• I’ll suspend my Genesis dive-deep study and do small devotionals only on days where I am having to go out or be really busy with Mom stuff – I will likely resume the big study in March after our Small Group event
• I’ll only check email on Mon, Wed, Fri instead of every day
• I am not going to beat myself up if I only do 10 min on the treadmill as that’s better than none
• Try and do shorter videos. Lord help me.
• Spend less time eating and more time doing other things. I need to eat less anyway and quit caring about food so much even though I love it.
• Reduce time on Farmville 2. ::sigh::
• Forget trying to work on the puzzle til after March
• Only do ONE load of laundry per day instead of two. It’ll spread it out over the week instead of making for a harder day on my hardest days.
• Clean kitchen as much as I can at night so it’s not bothering me in the mornings when I need that productivity time for other things
• Exercise earlier, and shower earlier – I’ve been wanting to do this anyway. It’s often 1 or 2 p.m. by the time I get a shower in.

I really don’t want to suspend a lot of my projects. I’ll keep them lined up on the schedule, but honestly a lot of them have been suspended just by the pure nature of my week being so busy. So they just keep getting forwarded to future dates already. So no change there. This is why I plan my day so I can determine what on the list is doable and what has to be forwarded.

HOW DO WE GET SO BUSY? WHY IS THERE NEVER ENOUGH TIME?

Friday, February 13

I was not in the mood today to go out, but it had to be done. I left the house at 9:15 (or tried to leave then anyway) to get Mom at 9:45. She had a 10:40 appt close to Nashville. We got there 30 min early which was good. She got in right away. I was happy we could finally talk to the doctor about her not being able to sleep, confused about meds, unable to sleep in her bed, not having an appetite and not wanting to eat much, as she had been filling my ear with all the woes over the last two weeks and two days ago sat with her head in her hands. So this was a good thing to get some answers. After all I had called the doctor asking for home health care because she was so miserable and I wanted someone to come regularly to her home.

Mom was all chipper this morning, dressed to the nines, hair done and makeup on. The doc came in. They got her weight and blood pressure. And the doc asked her all kinds of questions. Was she able to sleep? Oh yes, I can sleep fine, she said. Sleeping in the bed? Oh yes. She had lost weight so what was she doing different? Oh I just cut my meals down to 2 a day instead of 3, so I’m sure that’s why I’ve lost some. Are you winded ever? Oh sometimes but not too bad. Are you feeling ok most days or you feeling sad or blue? Oh yeah I’m making it just fine. Are you able to get out and go and do things? Oh yeah, we get out and go.

I felt like the biggest liar that ever was sitting there in front of that doctor having told him earlier on the phone that I was concerned and she needed to be set up for home care of all things. I felt like a fool. Was I not told that there was no sleep, no appetite, she felt horrible and couldn’t sleep in the bed anymore? Or did I just imagine all that? I felt so gas lit. Not only was there no need for him to assign home care but according to her vibe, we probably shouldn’t have even made the visit because things were going so well. But they did do her bloodwork, and next time I will likely just stay out of trying to help with the medical help because to tell you the truth, it wasn’t fun making me look stupid. And when she really does feel bad, I’m not sure I’m going to know whether she does or not. So what do you do? What do you do? I was honestly trying to help, but she’s so healthy, she doesn’t need my help, lol.

Then we went to Cracker Barrel and had a nice lunch. And I dropped her off and came home. I feel like it’s a Friday evening after a long busy week of work. I finally have the rest of the day and Saturday to get something done. Next week looks better. The weather is better, but we have rain tomorrow. I’m ok with that. I don’t have to be out and I will make my own sunshine and try to catch up on all I’ve been behind on.

Thanks for listening to my journals on Mom Care this week and how frustrated I’ve been. Most of my frustration is around how long everything takes and how much there is to do. And I get three things done and then four more need to be done. It’s just been overwhelming and I’ve already had to shove so many things off my list this week that were important to us or to me. I’m just frustrated at not being able to accomplish goals and that makes me feel like a failure but like it’s something I cannot control. I’m a nice person and try to meet Mom’s needs and our household needs and be there for everyone that needs me, but I’m spent this week and I hope I can recover over the next few days. Sunday we are at it again, with church and Mom but hopefully I can crawl out of this black hole. I’ll be fine. I just need some time and to be able to hear myself think.