Overcoming Negativity: Lessons from My Experiences

Good morning. Thursday here. How do the weeks go by so fast? Glad to have a day at home today as Mom and I went out yesterday. Monday and Tuesday I worked on this weekend’s video and got it uploaded and yesterday. I did the thumbnail before heading out with Mom. I’m shocked that the new computer is working out so well! Because it’s faster, I can get more done in a day. The old one would wear me out. I would be tired of using the computer and ready to get away from it. I didn’t realize just how bad it was til I got the new one.

Day Out with Mom

So Mom and I headed out to eat lunch yesterday. We ate at Shoney’s. Spaghetti is my favorite food – for the most part. Second would be prime rib. Third would be a gyro plate. 😉 But I got spaghetti and theirs is so good. After that I took Mom to talk to a local place in Lebanon about their gas fireplaces. It’s not going to work for her because her living room is so tiny. The heat would mess with the TV and there’s just not enough walls.

Fireplace or No Fireplace?

My concern is that to get it she would basically be wiping out her savings. She has taxes to pay (this year and future years if she stays there at all, plus emergencies that happen). If she spends thousands on a fireplace and wipes out her savings she will be in a mess. Or will have to cash out investments to replenish. It’s her money and she can do what she will with it, but if she spends it on something like a fireplace and then needs it for taxes, medical expenses, and emergencies, she will be in a pickle. When we sold her car and put that in savings, it really helped cushion when things come due like taxes or there’s medical expenses that are so high now, or extra household emergencies, when appliances have to be replaced, etc.

When I brought that up to her yesterday she said “if you worry about every little thing you will have nothing”. I asked, “Isn’t that what you are doing? Worrying about the power going out and not having heat?” I said, “It’s more likely that you would have emergency funding needs for health care, household needs, rather than the power going off grid for days. Of course any and all of it can happen, as life’s a gamble, but her point did not drive home with me because statistically speaking she is more likely to need that money for all these other things. So I hated to see her throw away all that money and burn it up literally in a gas fireplace, but they told her it would not work as there’s not enough room. So I’m relieved for her sake.

She will likely need every bit of what is in savings to set up for her first month of assisted living or nursing home site, whatever is available when the time comes if she can’t get in the one she wants. So she needs some liquidity to be able to take care of that if something happens to her health wise. All it takes is one moment – a fall, an illness, a heart issue, a stroke. These things can happen to any of us on any day. It will take time to get house sold and investments cashed out, so she needs to be thinking about the reality of those things because they are very REAL needs and definite upcoming needs – possibly sooner than later. But again, it’s hers to spend. I just try to advise and help bring in the clarity and reality of it and remind her, coach her. But ultimately her outcome and her situation is for her to decide while she can still do so.

I’m grateful to God that she was nice about me trying to look out for her. She didn’t yell at me. Proving that we can actually have a conversation and even if we disagree – can just agree to disagree. At least it happened once – yesterday – lol. And I appreciated that. So much. Because no one wants to walk on egg shells and have shaky hands not knowing when the next explosion will happen. I’ve been on egg shells for almost 60 years and I hope the boundaries are working, b/c the day would have ended right there if it had gone awry. I no longer allow anyone to yell at me and get to be around me for any length of time.

Dressing Room Dilemmas continue

We also went to Belk to try on pants. She found 3 pair. She still needs a brown pair but they don’t have them. I also couldn’t find them on line. Once again the dressing room by the plus size dept was closed down and she had to walk to the other side of the store to try them on. It’s so hard on the elderly to have to deal with that. But of course the stores are not considering that. To them it’s all about profit center and they close off the dressing rooms not near the front of the store as the stores have had to cut staff and most likely trying to cut theft. But gosh when you walk with a walker, it’s just hard.

Putting up with Negativity or Shedding it?

So….an update on World Bible School. I had a student that had asked me why I was no longer grading and commenting on their tests. When I told them that I wasn’t getting their completed tests in my portal and therefore unable to comment, they came back and said I was just not wanting to be their study helper and making excuses. I tried to explain what I thought was happening and assure the individual that I was not trying to ignore them and said “why on earth would I be wanting to do that?” if I’m helping people learn the Bible. lol. I had communicated the issue with World Bible School and told them what was happening and the software wasn’t sending me the test to grade in my portal. I had noticed other students dropped off around that point and that it became self-guided. World Bible School never responded to my original post to clarify, or verify – they just asked if I was logging in and grading tests. My answer: “yes every day” – and without fail! Never heard anything back from WBS. So I thought things would go on as normal from here, the student would understand what was happening and if he/she was really interesting in doing the lessons, they would continue on with them.

The student stopped doing the lessons, but each day or two, I’d have an agonizing email trying to spur me into conversation about it. Just stirring the stick to try to poke my anger. I began to realize the student likely had a mental issue or some kind of emotional baggage that is weighing them down, so I tried to respond with truths that, no I’m not trying to ignore you but it’s as simple as if your test is not in my portal it won’t be graded. Then I was met with “so you are saying you are finished”, lol. Well not by my choice, so I repeated the problem and then I asked myself why on earth am I continuing to try to convince this person that it is not my issue. So the student said it sounded like to him/her that I was just making up excuses and began quoting scripture at me, like I was the issue.

So I told the person that based on his/her behavior and rude comments that I had made the decision to have them removed as a student, and that it was becoming a “self fulfilling prophecy”. And I asked WBS to remove the person.

I waited all day to see if WBS would remove them because I did not want to see any more rude comments in my in box accusing me of things and trying to demean my character. Bottom line, it’s been a rule for a while to cut out negative people from my life – especially if it begins to wear on me. I wanted to help this person but now he’ll have to have help from someone else. Because I won’t allow myself to be treated in such a manner. If he is rotten seed to the point he is belittling and degrading others who try to help him, then he/she is not genuine in needing help.

So the person messaged me back and said “Let it go”. Like it had been my issue, lol. He/she was the one that kept up the agitation. I’m thinking and laughing that isn’t it the one who says Let it Go, is the one who always had the issue to begin with, lol lol. True that.

About an hour or two after that email came, I finally got an email that they had read the messages from the person in our account and they removed him/her. I felt a relief of peace immediately. I was about to call WBS and ask why they hadn’t removed him/her yet because now it seemed like I was going to be accusing them of ignoring ME! lol I even considered stopping doing WBS for a while but then thought, nawwww I’m not letting some rude person rob me of my opportunity to help those that want to be helped. That is what the devil would have wanted. So triumph…..1) The devil did not get his way 2) I don’t have to put up with a devil in a sheep skin – at least on that portal for a while 3) Got my peace back 4) Negativity is shed 5) Prayer was said over the individual that they would find a way to be a nicer person and have their mental issues resolved and be able to properly communicate and trust others and just be a nice person ya know? So ——WOOT! Now life can move on until the next agitation arrives, lol. oh and 6) I DID LET GO, literally! They be outta there! Bye bye.

Today’s List

So on the To Do List for today?

• Devo
• Laundry (blankets)
• Set appt with doc for Rx refill
• Order Target for household items
• Work on Chattanooga video
• Work on Christmas list (getting serious at this point) and vlogging for vlogmas
• Vacuum with the little vacuum since I was gone yesterday and couldn’t do it while Dexter was gone
• Spot clean the fridge – throw away leftovers
• Work on puzzle
• Read
• Check on Mom

So I’m off to get started on all that. Everyone have a great day. Just had to capture some thoughts in the blog today.