Negative YouTube Comments: My Reactions and Response

Well, when you put yourself out there, you can expect the negativity and the judgement. I’ve been very surprised though til now. Most of the time, if the content is “not for someone” they just politely move on, unsubscribe, and find their next video that they resonate with. But sometimes, for whatever reason, they have to leave their trail, or markings on your channel to brain dump, excrete their negative energy, or try to create buzz kill. I’m not a degreed psychologist – well ok that’s incorrect – I do have a minor in psychology, but you know what I mean. I don’t know what is in their own life, present or past, that makes a person feel the need to dump or express thoughts that might hurt another, especially when they don’t really even know you very well. Or maybe that IS part of the issue – they just don’t know. Still, regardless, there are some that just cannot leave something be and have to exercise the tongue – which God says can start fires. I guess at times we are all guilty.

All that said, I recently asked George to join me in a video of the Pantry clean out. He is the main cook in our family and his rules about what to eat and how long after they expire are different than my own. I usually don’t use things by the “Best By” date. For the video, George read off of the internet the definition of “Best By” date, trying to explain that it is not an “Expiration Date”. He was very passionate in this response. And here were a few of the comments. Some I didn’t understand. Some sound like they just immediately had left their therapy session, lol. Some were just amusing. I tried to answer each one or reply in a nice manner as I don’t want my videos to be an arguing ground. I will demand and make sure that it is a safe place for everyone. And I will not allow anything other than peace or respect to take place. I will likely allow these to remain for respect of their opinion, however. They were not hugely ugly, but they certainly were judgmental and/or critical. I left the user name off. I probably shouldn’t have since it is a public comment they themselves put out for all to see but in case someone was innocent before proven guilty I decided to cut it off.

Confused Comment

So, am I being complimented here or being made fun of? I wasn’t sure. But I decided the latter. The words were oddly composed, perhaps for the purpose of being confusing. Maybe they wanted to complain and wrap it in nicer shell. “Mrs. More Coffee” starts out with kindof a smart ass tone but could have just been playful, until you keep reading. So I’m a saint, courageous and strong. Thank you! That is a goal. Have I reached it? But wait, there’s more. I have been talked down too and baited. Is that what makes me a saint? Did I turn the other cheek? What was I baited for again? Doesn’t say. But they liked it so much they are going to continue watching a conflict resolution mentor? So are they complimenting me for handling misbehavior? Or are they just plain making fun? And was there any misbehavior in the first place? LOL. Was quite intrigued by that one.

Calls my Husband Judgmental and Mocking but signs off “Hugs”

Well, this one might have been more truthful than not. There have OFTEN been times that my gentle psyche has felt roughed over by critical and judgmental comments from my spouse (or anyone). Because of my upbringing, I have a very defensive attitude myself and I am very sensitive. I am not able to process criticism very well. So already I’m in a deficit hole of anyone saying anything to me about improvement, change, or criticism in any way, even with good intentions. Which made this comment make me go “ouch” more quickly than the others. I’m already hard on myself. So through the years George and I have had issues with things of this manner. I do not allow him to talk down to me. I also set boundaries. And if I fail to set one, that is on ME and not for anyone else to do. As I analyzed this one I realized several things.

• I didn’t take it that George was talking down to me, I mean, it was about food, lol. It is a passion of his to be argumentative or combative over certain issues. It’s part of his persona to want to be educated, exact, know the facts, and yes, to be right most of the time. He’s a man with convictions and proud of it, lol. He could have been a lawyer. He loves debate. He hung out with lawyers in his twenties. He is a Vandy graduate. This is his nature. He loves to set the facts straight etc. It’s not about the person but the facts.
• If George showed any disrespect that is on Him. While this matter was over food, I kinda took it all in fun. It’s been an ongoing argument between us when to eat or throw out food. So to me it was nothing new or different. He was putting on a passionate show for the camera with his facts. It didn’t really bother me that he was trying to make his point and diss mine. I simply retaliated in fun by making fun of him while on camera while making faces at him like a child. I was laughing. I thought it was funny. If I was really thinking it was an ugly scene, I’d have edited it out.
• We have been married for 33 and a 1/2 years and so anything serious of these types of issues, have been ironed out already. Do we have a perfect marriage? Absolutely NOT. Could it be improved?Yes. But I think we are both pretty happy where things are at this point in our lives. We decided years ago we were better together than apart. We do have a good partnership and a friendship base that underlines it all and makes it work. We are completely opposite though in many other things.
• We BOTH have flaws. I won’t go into them here, but we both have a lot of flaws, baggage, and things that each other have to deal with or reconcile with, or back away from, as the case may be. We both have had to make concessions and accept or deal with how we conquer our relationship and navigate through those flaws.

Anyway, enough on that one. It touched a nerve until I realized how proud I was of myself for being able to set boundaries, when it really did matter. I exit conversations in which I’m being talked down to, unless I choose to verbally attack the person and let them know how I felt about “said action or words”, because that was how I was raised. So he has had to be at the brunt of THAT, which leaves him shell shocked at those times when I cannot say “let’s discuss later when we have both calmed down”. But it did bother me that someone had such a bad opinion of George when most of the time he is a caring, funny man. But I get it. I’ve also had times when I was mad at him too. But none of us are perfect and watching a YouTube show is not really a good aspect of what really goes on between and within two peoples lives. I’m amused that people assume a few minutes of a show and have your entire life figured out. Ok well moving on.

Knock Knock Who’s There?

Did George knock on my head? I didn’t even remember it. It might have been when he said we were both stubborn and I was stubborn about how long I was letting stuff go before I will eat it. I didn’t take offense to it. I am indeed stubborn about what I eat and when. I am stubborn about a lot of things. So is he. It’s a fact. We both accept it. And even though he quoted the “internet facts” about what a Best By date was instead of an Expired Date, it didn’t matter. I was already confident in my decision about what I was going to eat or drink. There would be no swaying. In some big way I think he knew that, because he knows it didn’t matter what facts he threw out there, I’d be convicted in my own way of thinking and doing things and I was not going to budge. And he would be right. If he knocked on my head and called me stubborn, it didn’t offend me. He would be right and that might have been the most truthful part of the whole scene and I am proud of it. So be it.

Asking and Deflecting

This one confused me a little bit too. In a home where two people share things and have differing opinions about things, why would I NOT ask? George is the main cook in the house and often WILL eat things past the best by date, and even the expiration date. So he has asked me to inquire of him before I throw things out. So I was being nice and honoring his wishes. But I did need to call his attention to it so he could decide. And that answers that question.

Maybe I’m deflecting by having to have someone else make the decision? IS that what she means? Maybe that is what she or he meant. I don’t know. There is no subconscious thought about it other than, “I don’t want this food, but he might.” But they wished me better and told me I did a good job so it left me feeling ok – but still confused.

Anyway, that’s all. I just wanted to share and rebut my thoughts here instead of on the channel. This is usually my dumping ground to work through or park negative energy.

All that said, it’s all good. I realize that by putting your life on line, you WILL get some comments that are confusing, hurtful, and as people are today, very judgmental and feel the need to be controlling over other’s lives. So it’s all good. I’m surprised it hasn’t happened before now. I mostly have really good comments that are supportive, kind, and amazing. And I truly feel blessed for our community we are building together to get through this life, what years however long or short they may be. Let’s continue to support and thrive and carry on. It’s much better together than a bickering few who find themselves cornered, divided, and rotting away in negative energy. We are better than that. 🙂