Managing Life with Grace and Ease….or Maybe NOT!

Thank You for Watching! Let’s Make it Easier to Find Less Hustle More Coffee Platforms

Hope your weekend is going well. Thank you everyone for your time on watching the latest video on the Less Hustle More Coffee channel on Tube. I appreciate you. And if you missed it -it’s embedded on the previous day’s blog post. I’m working on the next one and it’s mainly about Mom’s house being ready and closing on it. We also go through the new Christmas shop in town and out to eat and I share those places. I’m so behind “time” getting them done. But I’m determined to try and crank them out faster. After all, before long I’ll be able to do a new Intro as we have dexter dog now! Hoping to get them out about every 2 weeks instead of every 3 or once a month. Whenever they do go out, I’ll always stage them for Saturday at 7:00 a.m. That seems to be kinda the coffee hour and when people start to be available. Sunday’s don’t work b/c of church and other obligations it seems. Saturday seems to serve everyone better.

Here is making it easier to follow along for any of our shenanigans and endeavors, lol! Some things overlap but each platform usually has its own content. I share more words here on WordPress and you get “the inside story” —I call it the reality blog. Instagram is a little shinier. The pretty things and the fun things. But I do daily stories on Instagram and just now learning the Reels. I’m not sure about Tic Tok as I have too much going already, lol. YouTube just kinda highlights in photos and videos all the excursions and home projects and car chronicles of what is going on in a particular period of time. I should have made this above, a long time ago. There’s also Facebook Page also of the same name, which I didn’t put on this graphic. Honestly forgot about it but there is that option too which my blog shares to FB and then my Instagram stories flow over onto my Facebook Page stories. Anyway I thought that would make it more convenient. It’s always in my side bar but not everyone sees that. My side bar on the phone -and maybe the iPad too – is actually at the bottom when you scroll down.

Getting Some Extra Home Time

Well we have been getting anywhere from about 12 to 24 hours every month back into our schedule. It has helped me tremendously to be sane and happier. How’d we do it?

  1. Divide and Conquer. The biggest thing is that we are alternating taking Mom to church. Mainly it was the dog that did it. Not wanting the dog to be left alone on the weekends too when we are gone all week and we try to train him. That gives six hours or more back into a weekend. Surprisingly we are having a more normal life doing it this way and I wished we had thought of it before. I’m grateful to George to do this – he suggested it – but it wasn’t for my account, it was for the dog. lol. Yes, it’s six hours b/c we do more than take her to church, as we do lunch and errands.
  2. Less outings. George is already talking about doing some excursions but it will be a while yet. We need to ease “dog dog” into it (our being gone some). Sometimes he can go with us of course and sometimes not. Right now we need to give him some good love and attention on the weekends though as training and settling in continues.
  3. Hello Fresh. I’ve actually had more time to spend in the kitchen. And this time of year that makes George happy and me happy too as I had missed it some. He loves to cook but with doing the outside (yard) too, it infringes on his spare time so I try to be more involved. He and I both are enjoying the constructed, already shopped for meals with Hello Fresh, that arrive with recipe and ready to be cooked. It’s been fun. And the meals – and the process too – have been fabulous. And I’m learning to cook differently. We only do the 3 meals per week option though so we can do our own things the rest of the time. I bought tortillas to make enchiladas again. I’ll try to be better at my photos and maybe some stories on Instagram of what I’m doing.
  4. Less time at the store. Ideally, I’d love to believe this one. It’s true most of the weeks. I only have to go to Publix about once every 2 to 3 weeks to get things I love for work. (Unsalted peanuts in the shell, popcorn, my Rx prescription, frozen lunches, crackers, tuna, fresh fruit, etc.). The reason I said I would love to believe this one is b/c George or I have been to Publix, Pet Smart, Walmart, Aldi all this weekend alone, lol. But – we are not used to having a pup growing into a big dog and how much more they can eat, and puppy pads – going through them fast. We were not very coordinated either as we brought home the same stuff. Let’s just say we have a LOT of strawberries to eat this week. lol. So we will streamline this a bit more in the coming weeks to try and cut costs too and bring the grocery bill down.
  5. Ordering on line. I’m switching to order more of the household and beauty and personal items on line. I used to do it when we were so busy before but during “that pandemic time” it was hard to find everything we needed on line.
  6. Leaving work on time. I’m leaving when the normal work day is over. I will always get my 8 in and then some according to how much lunch I take. I will have no choice but to work many hours over during quarter end though. That is just the accounting way. It’s always going to be that way. So reserving the extra hours worked for that month seems wise and for year end also – is what I’m going to do. (Jan, April, July, October are those months- also some in February b/c I’m still doing w-2 reporting and rushing through that). Then I don’t have to worry really about doc appts any more. Quarter end times will sufficiently cover that with much leftover in the bucket. However, I will hold true to my promise to go in early on Tuesday for Mom’s regularly scheduled monthly eye injection so that there is no confusion on anyone (else’s) part that was covered since I end up having to take 1/2 day off for that one. The rest of the appointments are just odd here and there and the quarter end and year end hours will cover them sufficiently.
  7. Borrowing time from Peter to pay Paul, lol. My favorite phrase lately. In other words, just moving things around in our schedule. We still borrow time from other places. For example I don’t go to church but every other Sunday, but I still worship on my drive time. I am listening to a very long series every day on the drive home (on Revelations right now) and learning so much. Instead of it being once a week it’s 5 days I’m studying/listening. I pray and spend time with God in the morning drive – thanking for blessings for the day before, telling Him I love Him and asking for guidance, His spirit’s leading, and praying for others and any personal requests or needs. So that is one example. Normally I’d be listening to a pleasure podcast. I’ve had to boot the pleasure reading to home and it has been hard to come by as the dog, Dexter, has taken time from that, lol. I no longer journal and study in my prayer journal corner. I also added the earlier morning exercise in the mornings along with taking care of the dog and dog needs. So I’ve juggled things about.
  8. Grouping errands. We tend to try to group things together. Mom’s errands and needs, our errands and needs.
  9. Spreading out the housework. I just don’t clean everything every weekend and I’m putting this last because I’ve been doing this one for a while. Not a new change. It’s just wasted time in a way. We are not here enough to have a perfect house. It’s perfect enough. I might vacuum really good once every two weeks – maybe three if we’ve not messed it up. Or I just do it by rooms as needed. I don’t dust until it is just absolutely obvious it needs to be done, lol. I don’t even see it much anymore now that I’m older. I try to keep certain areas clean that bother me. Don’t get me wrong. I clean and I’m a neat freak, and a germ freak at times, so I do clean but it’s not a perfect line up everything on every Saturday.
  10. I use my To Do List and Planner. I have to include this. If I didn’t use these things I’d never get anything done. And if it’s not on the list, I’d probably forget it. I even put household chores on there to get me focused. The iPhone’s to do list, has been perfect for me. And that said brings me to the next section.

Why am I Forgetful? Probably for the Same Reasons YOU are!

That last one above – number 10 – has made me think of this. Recently last week I took Mom for a day out. I left her house forgetting my food in her fridge. I remembered it and was going to get it and Mom had me take pics of something and then I forgot it. I forgot the pink tub I was going to take by the door also, and there was something else I forgot too – amazing I’ve forgotten what I forgot? lol. Mom told me yesterday she had told my Aunt about it. So do I have a forgetful problem that is so bad the family feels a need to discuss it? I told Mom I was just not as perfect as she was. lol. I must be someone else’s child since I’m so…..imperfect.

Anyway, everyone has always bragged about how organized I am in other areas of my life. I have managed to be organized most of the time, and manage our home inventory and supplies without running out. I have managed to get to work on time. Get my work done. Get my child’s life organized when she was here and her needs met. Manage a YouTube channel, a Blog, and keep up some on social media. Plan goals for the year, bucket lists, keep up with doc appointments and now keep up with the same for my Mom’s needs and appointments. But truth be known, I’ve had to work very hard to be organized. And I feel it has served me well in most instances. So why am I so forgetful if I am so organized?

  1. On days when I truly relax is when I forget something.
  2. If something or someone throws me off focus****
  3. If I’m in a hurry.
  4. If I’m having to keep up with another human or animal – besides myself
  5. When I’m overwhelmed by too much going on at once
  6. Too many irons in the fire or the plate is full
  7. I don’t have it on the schedule or to do list
  8. The activity to remember is not the norm or off routine
  9. My mind is in another place or something is consuming my thoughts

*****Yes I realize it’s my responsibility to keep myself on focus – but it still happens as my gaze has been moved to a different track. I don’t think that is abnormal. Especially, when you compare yourself to someone, who – let’s say – does not have multiple responsibilities, doesn’t work FT, doesn’t care-give, doesn’t have many hobbies, and doesn’t do much in the day – and has all day to think about every move to do next.

So yes I left groceries in Mom’s fridge and had to come back to get them and I left the tub there at her house too. Let’s see which numbers above might have played a factor?

#1 as I was trying to relax, #2 as we stopped to resolve an issue, #4 trying to take care of Mom’s needs, #6 is the case at any given moment in my life now, #8 as I usually don’t have groceries in Mom’s fridge nor do I carry tubs home when I leave there, and probably #9 as I was truly ready to get home and thinking of what I still felt I could do so late in the day.

Don’t Let Your Self Talk or Others Persuade You Differently

Understanding Why I’m Good Enough

So while my forgetfulness may be entertainment, concern, or just small talk as there might not be anything else more interesting to discuss (lol) I still have come to the conclusion as follows:

“You know what? I’m alright! I’m not only ENOUGH, but I’m doing better than enough!”

Shall we count the ways? This is to show myself or anyone else that needs a refresher (lol) that I’m ENOUGH regardless and despite my forgetfulness issues. Let one discuss these GOOD things, if one dares themself :-O. Nothing wrong with lifting one another up right? If not one else does let me do some self-help therapy here.

  1. I’ve helped raise a fabulous daughter who is not only turning out to be a great person herself, but she has a God focused marriage and my precious grandson.
  2. I’ve managed a professional career most of my life with success in HR and now Accounting/Payroll. It may end tomorrow but God leads.
  3. I got a college degree, and Masters (MBA) – the MBA while working Full Time, and still kept a full time blog going during the process.
  4. I learned PSP (Paint Shop Pro and made graphics for the blog).
  5. I taught myself how to learn music and to play piano (keyboard) as an adult b/c it was something I wanted to do as child and didn’t get to. So I wanted to see what it was like (It’s not a hobby I continued after having Katy as I found other things I liked better).
  6. I learned how to make videos and I’m really good at learning new technology and learned Final Cut Pro after iMovie.
  7. I love techie things and enjoy them —until I get frustrated. But often can overcome my frustration when I come back to it later.
  8. I’m stubborn and focused enough to get what I want usually. Let’s call it “resilient” since a boss once told me I was. Another called me a “rock” (unmoved/unshaken/stable). Not sure of that one, lol!
  9. I know how to plan a project and follow it through meticulously
  10. Despite some earlier bad decisions in my life, I was able to stay married for 30 years and still going.
  11. I chose God as my master when I was 9 and although my lines may have blurred and I missed the mark some, I still claim God as my Master, my friend, my Father and my Savior.
  12. I love to learn new things and I’m trying to find time to enjoy my camera and photography.
  13. I love to read, explore, discover, share, and organize my world.
  14. God loves me despite my ways, my issues, and including my forgetfulness. He made me wonderfully just to be who He wanted me to be.
  15. I’m always trying to improve myself to be a better version of me.
  16. I have learned that I am a strong person and can survive a number of things – even alone if I have to but I’m not wanting to and hope I never have to, but I can with God. I’ve learned not to be totally dependent on others even though we know we all get by with a little help from our friends. I think God wanted us to depend on each other some to let love and friendship grow.
  17. If anyway I can improve myself it is to be a better person that God wants me to be. If I am a believer and follower and choose to do none of the talents, career, skills or much of the list above, I will have met my Master’s “enough”. If it is good enough for Him. It’s good enough for me.

I encourage you to do a similar exercise when you are feeling “not enough”, talked about, made fun of, or just any day when you are down on yourself for simply being human. We all run into those who think they are some kind of God of perfection in themselves – you know the type – the ones that never admit to doing anything wrong. Just remember, they are not perfect either. And sometimes people like to focus on your inefficiencies rather than your perfections as it makes them feel better about their own inefficiencies and makes them look good or better in others eyes in comparison. We get that already. We got that a loooong time ago about life and dealing with other people And we have all done it on the flip side, so my goal is not to point fingers but to help me and others realize YOU ARE ENOUGH – just keep trying.

The weekend blogs are so long! I have time to spew all my thoughts and then some.

Weekend Update

Sleeping Puppy Dog and all His Toys and My Old Shirt and George’s Socks

~Dexter is doing good. We are slowly making progress with his stubborn streaks and in training. He sneaks and gets the garbage. He loves toilet paper rolls and Mom’s used face wash wipes.He loves us to chase him when he has something in his mouth and he’s very good at it. He is our newest weight loss program. He doesn’t understand weekend “sleeping in” yet. We are training him to be around the shower noise because it’s time for a bath and right now bathing him will be like trying to bathe a cat. lol. He continues to be fearful of loud birds, lol. He began enjoying his outside time more – longer walks and used to outside noises. We still can’t take him out of our yard yet because of him not having all his shots and even then he is still likely to catch something due to the wild life that comes across our yard but we feel we need to let him get out some.

~My psyche is good getting extra time at home. It’s been a relief actually.

~Mom and I changed our hair appointments with someone else for our next hair appointment. Probably next weekend I will cut on mine some. Or I may just wait til the next appt. It’s just going to be too heavy though for these hot weeks ahead.

~My car is going back in the shop next weekend for spark plugs and a headlight fix.

~George gets 1/2 day off a week but has to make it up other days during the summer. So I am getting home earlier for dog those days he works late and I start on dinner. But we’ll have to do something else – during the quarter end. Not sure what yet. Every hour and minute seems to count in our life.

That is all I know for now. It’ll be probably WED when I’m back. Unless I can sneak in a canned post, lol. Monday I’ll do videos and Tuesday is my earlier day. Let me know if you made it this far, lol. Or any thoughts on anything above today. Ya’ll have a good weekend. And a good week until next WED!

9 responses to “Getting Time Back in My Life, Why I am So Forgetful, and Remembering Why I am Good Enough”

  1. Cocosmom Avatar
    Cocosmom

    Well done worry about what your mom tells your aunt. She has a very limited life being by herself so much. I just let things roll off as I realize this when she is talking. Outside of telling me about the construction work around her and her interactions with you and George she does not have much in her life at this point. She is lonely and by herself. She is asking when we are coming up. We cannot come until Cheri has all her shots so it is safe for her to be around others etc. Our best friends cannot even see her now as they have little ones that she can get infections. As I said dont worry we all forget things as we go along in life. Nothing like me getting to work and finding I dont have my phone and have to have it for work etc. Love ya girl.

    1. Backporchwriter Avatar

      All is well. I’m excited to hear about Cheri- we will call at some point this week and check in.

  2. Lauren Avatar
    Lauren

    As much as you have to go on in your life no wonder you might forget things. I don’t see how you do as much as you do.
    Sometimes I will tell my husband to remind me of something I need to do. And I remind him of his dentist appt and such. Just a part of having a busy life I guess.
    It will be interesting to hear how Dexter does with his first bath. He might even like a kiddie pool since it is so hot.
    I hope you have a good week. I am looking forward to your next video.

    1. Backporchwriter Avatar

      George is considering a kiddie pool but we’d have to keep him on a leash. lol He’s scared of the water 💦 running. So I’m a little scared of how he will react.

  3. Snoskred Avatar

    Can I just say this –

    “Mom told me yesterday she had told my Aunt about it. So do I have a forgetful problem that is so bad the family feels a need to discuss it? I told Mom I was just not as perfect as she was. lol. I must be someone else’s child since I’m so…..imperfect.”

    First of all, no you most certainly do not have a forgetful problem. We all forget things from time to time especially when we are busy and life is so full. There are times I would forget body parts of my own if they were not attached.

    Secondly, of course your Mom talks about you to other people. It is what Moms do, especially when Moms don’t have to go to work and run all the errands and take care of a new puppy etc. Does your Mom need to tell you she did that? Probably not, but possibly she doesn’t always have super interesting things to tell you and this was a thing she could tell you and it was a thing about you which she might have thought was interesting to you.

    I’m not sure why that seems like it has sent you into a place where you feel like you need to defend yourself from being imperfect or forgetful. Is this something you always feel that you need to do when it comes to Mom?

    I will just say this. I lost my Dad last year. We had a complicated relationship as all family relationships are, but having said that I realise now that none of that stuff was important. I was actually lucky enough to realise it while he was still here so we could have those last few months together unburdened by all that shiznit and just enjoy my time with him.

    I’m maybe not putting any of this well.. I see you struggle with stuff like this and I think.. sometimes we let peoples comments affect us so much when it is just that, a comment.

    There used to be a guy on a TV show here and he would take questions from the audience, and sometimes when they were done asking the question he would simply say “I’ll take that as a comment” and not put the question to the panel. I’m wondering if that might be a new strategy for you going forward – I’ll take that as a comment – and then let it go so you can focus your mind on the important to you stuff and not the comment which is going to fester within you for a while. 🙂

    1. Snoskred Avatar

      PS so iconic was his taking that as a comment they even made it into a t-shirt. 🙂 https://www.redbubble.com/i/t-shirt/I-ll-take-that-as-a-comment-qanda-T-Shirt-by-wolfcat/6773908.NL9AC

    2. Backporchwriter Avatar

      You are so kind to try and bring resolve and to understand. It’s all deeply rooted and with very many layers. The post was mainly to make a point of – it’s ok to speak good of someone instead of all the things gone wrong. In case one needs a list of something to talk about. It has been provided. I won’t hurt people’s feelings by going into detail here. But I think criticism breeds defensiveness. Love, praise, and nurturing breed love and patience. One reaps what is sewn. I have done a lot of study on personality development, defense mechanisms, narcissism, verbal abuse, gaslighting, and I understand a lot more of what I have been exposed to now. My best outlet of expression is to write. Once it’s out, it’s gone and over. But where I came from a comment on the surface was usually a more of a loaded iceberg underneath. I speak only from the heart of experience but with joy that I can overcome it because I am enough regardless of never being able to please or being the butt of a conversation. At least I’m still around. Other family split.

  4. JE Avatar
    JE

    I’m so sorry that a comment like that would trigger the defensiveness to the level that you felt you had to develop a list of your accomplishments. Sometimes a comment is just a comment and not a dig or character assassination. Maybe it would help to try and flip things around before coming to the conclusion of judgment of you. For example if George forgot something twice and you made a comment to someone that he was getting forgetful would he be most likely to laugh it off and say like “yeah, I’m losing it ha!” And not feel it’s a big deal? Wow how this must trigger something, maybe something to try and get help with.

    1. Backporchwriter Avatar

      Please read my reply to Snoksred above. So no repeats. It’s very deeply rooted. Multi layered. But I’m fine. It’s all forgotten just like all the other times. I know I’m enough and yes I know others need someone to talk about so I’ve listed a few good things they can say. 🙂

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