A Week at RANDOM in Retirement
A very chatty but fun little Random Week in Retirement and you can watch it HERE. Just one of those weeks where not a lot of was going on except whatever we just did at random, which turned out to be pretty fun. Just one of those weeks you expected out of retirement.
Real Time Update
Ahhh we are back from what was almost a 2 week vacation and having a somewhat relaxing week. The first time ever since a child that a post vacation was relaxing, lol. Everything was easy to catch up on, except for a family member we are helping. I can never get caught up on everything she needs and wants and desires in a week’s time. But I keep staying on the hamster wheel at it. I’m the only rat on the wheel except for George’s help. It’s a lonely little spot. lol. I just can’t do it all in one week. Which will require patience somehow on her part as we have a life to live too.
Laundry is caught up and wasn’t bad at all since we had laundry access there on the ranch. Just a big trip to the grocery mainly and we are trying to eat better. House was already cleaned so we just needed to unpack and I began to start editing a video.
As far as family member. I came home to a list of wants and desires: Lowe’s trip #1 for a fan for family member’s porch (bought), Lowe’s Trip #2 is imminent as said family member wants a fountain and flowers soon (not sure where it will go on porch as there’s not a lot of room left), needs an appointment for perm (got that set), needed to go to Walgreens to get more CBD gummies and eye cream for wrinkles. Walgreens did not carry CBD gummies so I ordered on Amazon. Still needing to go shopping for Capri’s – two or three orders have been done and they were not fitting or not acceptable. Previously had fought with Walmart to return them because family member cannot find the email/order number. Last order she said she would just give to a neighbor so we didn’t have to fight with Walmart again. So we’ll have to go shopping for those capris before the warmer summer-time temps arrive in May. Kohl’s is the likely option but they are not close. So will have to plan an excursion. We tried to do groceries this week but she wanted to put it off. Fine by me as George can help me get them in the house.
Family member had me order long sleeve Oxford button downs in white and blue from Amazon- was probably “influenced” by either social media or a friend or neighbor? Who knows. As this isn’t normally her style. Said family member wants a fridge or upright freezer moved from Garage into the house. Wants George to do it. I’ve already said that George is DONE moving things. Goes in one ear and out the other but there is no room for that anyway and it would look silly in family members laundry room, when all you have to do is take two steps out into the garage. But the temp out there is either to cold or hot and she doesn’t like to go out there.
The list of desires and changes could go on, depending day or mood. It is hard to keep up with, especially coming back from vacation where the new list is often unleashed upon us at the same time that we are tired as an old wet dog after a long hunt. But at least I’m not working. I’m still not giving up more than a day or two a week. Any more time needed from there will have to be assisted living. :-O She stopped meals on wheels as she didn’t like it as we predicted. Took forever to get her on the list, but she didn’t like their cooking. lol We knew that was coming but at least she tried.
Anyway there is more to life than said family member. Contrary to what some think, we actually exist in the world too and have our own needs and desires, so we’ve been resting some and gearing up for taking care of some things we need to take care of here. We have been pretty much exhausted by the trip. I mean 4 days of 6-7 hours of travel and doing things once we arrived in location, 3 full on days of babysitting a 1 year old and 4 year old (fun but tiring for 60 somethings), plus another week of running around here and there. So we had a great time (videos coming) but we are back to our routines now and settling back in.
See you back here Wednesday most likely. If you need the link again, for the video you can watch it here.
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13 Comments
Anonymous
Bless your heart! I know it’s hard caring for a family member. In December, we moved my Dad to independent living at Clarendale in Hendersonville and it has been a challenge. I’m buying all his groceries and doing everything else he needs done and it is tiring! I retired last May so I have the time but it does sometimes interfere with what I want to do. I keep telling myself just one day at a time…. I really enjoy your newsletter and your videos! Keep up the good work!
LessHustleMoreCoffee
Thanks for the support, kind words, and encouragement. Good luck to you too!
Anonymous
Lol … I couldn’t help but laugh at your description of a wet old dog. ( traveling is exhausting). It takes me a week to recover from Vacation. That was so nice to give Daughter & Sil a break with the kids. No one ever offered to give us a break when kids were little.
Your family member sounds like a handful. I don’t know how you do all that you do.
Poor George and that hot chicken! You couldn’t pay me to eat something that hot and spicy. Hope he recovered.
Anonymous
Just getting downto viewing yesterday’s VLOG. I smiled at the starting date Feb 26th I think as it’s now Wmarch 23rd it’s late news !! I’ll start at the latest news on it…your hair trim what a time you had but glad you got it in the end. It actually looks good. A bit like mine actually….then I had a laugh at that daft husband of yours and his HOT HOT food..as I never ever eat anything spicy or hot it was a bit of an eye opener to see someone suffer !! Just to eat LOL…
I was hoping you were going to do less and less for family member but sorry to see she still has you on the end of a string….time to set the boundaries even shorter me thinks….well love must go. Breakfast calls then have to get ready for church at 10. 30. Take care. Thanks as always for ALL the Vlogs etc etc. God Bless. Have a nice Sunday xxx
LessHustleMoreCoffee
Remember I have been on vacation for two weeks so I’m two weeks behind in the respect that in those two weeks of vacation I didn’t have a computer to do video editing. It had to wait til I got back. But will catch up to time as I’m pushing out two per week til caught up and then not vlogging as much currently. Just the important stuff.
I think family member is waking up for spring and feeling a bit back seat when we travel so she has a list for our attention when we return. No worries, it sits on a list til we have time to do them. We live our lives too. I take care of needs and give so many hours per week and that’s it. Boundaries are already in place. I was going to do more, but it didn’t work out as my head was bitten off and I don’t deserve that. So house cleaning is all hers!
sybil wilson
I-hope my long comment arrived…I had a quick finish as I was going to church and I THINK it went. BUT ….anyway if it didn’t. Hopefully this will. Loved the Vlog. My laugh this time was George tucking into his HOT HOT dinner I think you know I don’t like anything whatsoever that is spicy or hot. And to see Georges almost predicament assured me my idea of steering clear of hot curry like food is the right condition !! Second laugh was seeing you driving around looking for a hairdresser LOL. Glad you got one in the end and your cut is very like mine but your more beautiful…..I’m sorry to see you are still dancing to orders from…you know who…Please do try to say NO more often giving up one day a week is MORE than enough….Take Care. God Bless.
Loved the idea of you helping with the boxes for disadvantaged children, how often are you going to do it.? Take Care xxxx
LessHustleMoreCoffee
I got them both! Thanks Sybil. Have a great week!
Rose
Hi Sonya,
Sounds like you had a wonderful vacation. I’m glad you were able to see your grand babies! I imagine they are getting pretty big and handsome boys!
I’m sorry you had to come home to a family members demands. Care taking 101 is listen and when no ones looking SCREAM as loud as you can! LOL ITs the hardest job there is .
My dad passed away Feb 25th of this year. He was in the nursing home and the whole floor got the flu. He was bed ridden for the first time in his life and then got pneumonia and he just couldn’t fight it. We went to the ER on a Sunday and by Tuesday early evening he was gone. Quick. While it’s sad, he lived a long life and he is no longer in any pain. So I’m comforted by that. He loved to garden so we say he is up in the heavens planting the biggest garden he’s ever had ! 🙂 Now my mom is in the nursing home full time, two days after we buried my father. All to quick.
Why do I tell you all of this? I wish your family member could see the strain you are going through with her demands. So much can happen, to you and your hubby. Stress, sickness and so on. It’s a lot to care for anyone. My mother hated Meals on Wheels also. Which was hard because it took the strain off of me to cook for her. So I get it. If your mom would consider assisted living it will be so much easier to transfer to the NH. It comes faster than anyone thinks.
Wishing you all the best!
So glad you are retired and learning to live free of that stress!
Rose Happy spring!
LessHustleMoreCoffee
I’m sorry to hear of your Fathers passing. Yes it’s been harder than I thought to keep her up in everything. Sometimes the family member makes it harder on the caretaker than it has to be. I’ve had to back off due to maintenance of my own mental health, which has root triggers back to childhood. Trying to perform my Godly duties and it confusing trying to figure out healthy boundaries, Godly responsibilities, and how much I am supposed to protect myself vs how much to give and still be sane and healthy. Right now I pretty much take care of driving her places and groceries and doc appointments. I have to keep separate as much as possible because of the negative energy and stress.
SamiB
Sonya, you are going well above and beyond the Godly duty of caring for and/OR ensuring the care of your family member. God does not expect or desire that you cater to her every whim such as outdoor fans, fountains and flowers, etc. and multiple shopping trips/orders/returns just for capris seems at least a little insensitive/selfish on the family member’s part. This family member seems to be leaning on you so heavily, and appears to be overly reliant on you to be her everything. If you are the ONLY person she has, that is her problem, and not your fault. She should take some adult responsibility for herself and stop demanding everything of you. She’s burning you out…
God wants you to ensure her basic needs are provided for, whether by you or by someone else. Honoring her isn’t the same as catering to her.
This is why she should be active at church and in senior groups, so she has a social circle where she can find help and support with different things. This is why it is important to know people and do life with them.
And if she wanted to be considerate of others, she could try accessing public resources once in a while to lighten the burden she is assigning to others, such as free or discounted rides through county services, grocery and pharmacy delivery, etc.
I’m sorry if my comment sounds harsh, I really don’t mean it to be. I really like you, and I enjoy your videos. I hope you take good care, get plenty of rest, and spend some time doing what you want to do.
LessHustleMoreCoffee
Thank you for your words. Probably an answer to prayer. I prayed this morning in tears for God to help me overcome my feeling of being overwhelmed. I’m easily overwhelmed because of my personality so things for me are multiplied x 5 vs a normal person. Last night I was asked by family member if I was going to help clean her house or what and if not she’d need to hire someone. I told her I’d help some but she could do one or the other. I won’t be able to keep up two households. I’m not signing up for that. It’s really time for assisted living but she will wait too late as expensive and then she won’t get to choose as it will be wherever there’s a spot for her, which may be nursing facility at that point.
I’m easily traumatized over the past arguments and yellings, throughout my life. I’d gotten away from it all but it’s followed me. I shake when I’m around her and walk on egg shells so, just trying to be away from her as much as possible for my own health.
Anonymous
Oh Sonya, no wonder I felt so compelled to message, it was a nudge from the Holy Spirit. I will be praying about this daily. I’m so glad that you recognize the need for and the value of boundaries. You can’t keep 2 households, and nobody should want that for you. Maybe consider scaling back more on what you offer to do—pray about it, you can never go wrong with prayer.
LessHustleMoreCoffee
Thank you so much. God amazes us, how He lets us know He is hearing us.