School Traffic, Green Screen, and Narcism Strikes Again

School Traffic Isn’t Pretty

It’s mid-week of the first week of August. Schools are starting back and if not, the teachers are. The light summer traffic is no more. I am wondering if I can stand it. It really doesn’t matter if I leave at 3, 4 or 5. It’s awful any direction. Monday it took me an hour and a half to get home, instead of 45 to 50 minutes but there was a main road closure and pandemonium ensued on the road I was on. It’s also been “tax free” days and the road here is also on the way to Providence Shopping area.

tax documents on the table
Photo by Nataliya Vaitkevich on

Quarter End

It’s “over the hump day” today. Did I finish quarter end? Of course not. Being given a week and half’s worth of quarter end work information with less than 3 days to do it in and I had to be off one of them to take Mom to the doctor. So no! So I have a big Oregon return left but I had to stop and do payroll. I started it but as 5:00 approached I left, because I’m not staying in the building by myself and I also don’t work over just because I didn’t receive info in time. I’m sure those providing the info didn’t work over to provide it either. It is what it is and I do the best I can. I can only usually get quarter end work done by working over an hour a day to do it because it doesn’t fit into my regular job unless it’s an easier work load that week.

Final Cut Pro and Green Screen

I’m so proud of myself. I took 15 minutes from editing and learned how to do the “green screen” effect where you have numbers fly across a screen. I’ve seen others do this. It’s a pretty popular thing to do with YouTubers. It’ll be coming up in the next video – look for it. It’s a cool effect. I’m so happy to learn something new.

In Final Cut Pro you put the above math clip over a video clip you want it to appear in (Final Cut allows you to stack or layer video on top of video) and then add the “green screen effect” over your video clip and it “hides the green” or “filters the green” from the math clip. It allows the numbers to float across the screen.

I’m almost finished with the next video. I only have about 10 min left in editing and can review it an upload it. I was interrupted last night and otherwise would have been finished. But I’m close enough. So I should get done tonight. I’ll try to get the thumbnail done tonight too but if not, I’ll do it tomorrow night.

How Did God Know?

Well of course God knows, because He knows everything! And He provides us with what what we need, when we need it for those who are His. I am so happy for my recent research and therapy on Narcissism and self-parenting as it really has helped me as I deal with others that appear to be on the narcissistic spectrum. And I am so happy about this verse.

No you cannot win an argument with a narcissist and anything you say or do can and will be used against you. I think I’ve had nearly every thing pulled out of the book on me with this one person. It’s the same old song and dance. I’ve come to accept what it is and how to deal with it. It’s no longer as painful and hurtful as it used to be. It’s just aggravating. The question is what boundaries do you set and at what point do you just excuse yourself entirely from the situation?

Last night I considered that I am about “three more arguments away” from totally removing myself from a particular situation. However, I’m bathing it in prayer and turning to God and letting Him deal with it. For now. But the end is getting close for me. At least I can hold my own now in a conversation and not run from it. Matter of fact I’m to the point of “Go ahead and tangle with me if you want. I have a lot I want you to hear from me as well.” Not that the information could actually be absorbed or embraced, but will be deflected. But it makes me feel better anyway. That way I say how I feel to the person and not my blog or others. Works for me but you have to listen to them rant on though – like a hyena in the dessert heat. (Is that a thing? I just made it up!)

Of course a Narcissist cannot listen to the truth. It’s too painful for them. They will recoil, hang up, run off, etc. So the conversation never lasts long as they have to remove themselves from the conversation when the truth comes back at them. God said the “truth will set you free”. It sure does. It’s a double edge sword. It does the trick.

The Narcissist plays victim, dances and sings the song of “woe is me” and “nothing is ever done for me”, and ________(fill in the blank). The Poet says, “Oh dear let me count the ways and give you a list of what all has been done for you”. The Bible says to love one another and be grateful for what we have. Society says “don’t bite the finger of the one who sees after you” and don’t “kick a gift horse in the mouth”. People want to shame you so you will do more, manipulate you to doing everything their way. The Narcissist does not like it when they know you are on to them. They never remember what all you do for them. Until you are gone.

The irony here is that “momma didn’t raise no fool”. 😉

Joined BJ’s

We have a BJ’s coming in the fall. George and I joined it. I set it up yesterday at a discount provided by my employer.

Other News

So the week is going by fast. I hope you all have a good rest of the week. I personally have not felt good this week, and I’ve not been in a good space, but I’m pulling through. I really think it’s spurred on by not having down time this past weekend. I usually require some downtime to reset me, reset the house, and get things done. I feel rushed and inadequately prepared when I don’t get that time.

I have been presented with some information on Adult Women High Functioning Autism. I’m doing some research with that. What I’m finding is kinda blowing me away. Are any of you familiar with that? I didn’t know it was a thing. Til now.

More later. Lord Willing, the Creeks don’t rise, and I don’t stroke out!

7 responses to “School Traffic, Green Screen, and Narcism Strikes Again”

  1. Evening dear Sonya, I’ve been praying before I wrote the comment cause I didn’t really know what to say. Firstly I’m so sorry you are having to travel so long to get to and from work and although you are thinking it’s the school traffic and it probably is and it’s not going to get any better that’s for sure. I also worry as driving so far is not good even in better driving conditions…..the answer I’ve had to my prayers seem always to fall back on leaving your present work place, start before winter approaches and you can go in a different direction of work altogether. May mean working from home ? Changing direction altogether….if all things were equal what would be your dream job ? go for it …you don’t want to have to stop work before your retirement age but in the other hand you want to REACH your retirement ..If you continue as you are you might not even reach your retirement, and that would be terrible….. I know this is something you’ve thought about before, but although the thought was/is there you’ve never been brave enough to take the plunge. Do think well love. God Bless.

  2. Yes I do have some experience with Adult Women High Functioning Autism – it has also been called Aspergers in the past. I actually have this myself.

    There are some good online tests you can do and I’ll leave another comment with a link.

    We women are extremely good at masking and hiding this condition from the world. I wasn’t diagnosed till age 35. Once I was, we did a deep dive into how the autism played into pretty much every situation in my past and it was very empowering and enlightening. I always thought I was “the problem” in those situations. I was not the problem at all.

    I think your love for to-do lists definitely point towards autism and also how you kind of get obsessed with something for a while, there are probably other things I can’t recall right now but I’ve read it and thought, I wonder if Sonya could be on the spectrum.

    Your Mom is a whole other comment. I’m so sorry this is happening to you. I think you might benefit from removing yourself from her equation for a little while. I definitely get why you are saying three strikes and you’re out, but the truth is Sonya we both know she’s going to make it to those three strikes no matter what you do – she is who she is. There’s no fixing a narcissist, we all know that.

    So maybe you just need to say look Mom, I need a break for a little bit, I’m sorry I’m not doing everything you want me to do, but I have done so much for you the past couple of years and I can’t keep doing it. I need some me time. Figure out life for yourself for a bit and I’ll be back when I’m ready.

    • Thank you for the information. I don’t know if I am a high functioner or not but in learning about it, it makes you go, hmmmmm. It’s blowing my mind to read about it. And learn by listening to YouTubes. I definitely have meltdowns and have to do things in order, lol. But who knows. It’s kinda like when a doctor does his studies he thinks he has all the diseases. When I read symptoms of MS. I always go hmmmm with that too. I will take the test. I don’t suppose there are many benefits to having a diagnosis other than someone or others around them having answers? Thanks so much for sharing.

      • I think it makes a huge difference to know you have it, because once you know you can understand it and others (workplaces, family, friends) need to learn to make allowances and accommodations for it.

        Things like the cup theory has been very important to me – every interaction I have with other people either fills or empties my cup. Sometimes a bad interaction can fill my cup in seconds and I need to head to my happy places so I can empty the cup again. Once you understand that you can begin to plan life a bit better – eg here is a real world example.

        Last week I had two massive work events on Wednesday chock full of people and noise and constant interactions – one in the morning, one in the evening, then I had classes on Thursday. Knowing that, I needed to plan in some downtime between the two events, downtime after I got home on Wednesday and then I was good for Thursday.

        I’d say for you, if you are on the spectrum, interactions with your Mom could fill your cup very quickly and that is why you feel a need to retreat to your home and your hobbies.

        Things like sensory issues can also set me off, too. If a school bus parks out the front and leaves the engine running, it drives me crazy. It is the only thing I can hear, it takes over my brain and makes me so uncomfortable. But before I knew the why, I couldn’t understand what was going on.

        Some people get what I like to call super powers. I’ve talked a bit about that on my blog – link here to that category – – might be worth having a read through that category and seeing if any of that resonates with you.

        I definitely feel like you could be on the spectrum. Maybe that is why I was drawn to you in the first place?

        If you take the test and find out it is a yes, maybe we could do a video zoom call or a discord or something like that, and chat about it. 😉

      • I resonate with most of the things your links said. Except I don’t have a fixation with numbers, but I do notice patterns, but mostly with people and not things. I don’t notice food texture, and while some noises bother me I mostly block everything out and am quite opposite. I don’t hear anything at all because I’ve learned to block it out. Except for base music in cars. I am very very annoyed by anything that interrupts my train of thought. I took the test but it was 4 a.m. and I didn’t have the credit card handy. I wish they would not wait til the end to tell you that it costs. I’m sure it didn’t save it. lol 😂

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