I found a spot for my “Coffee Sign”. It was half price at Hobby Lobby and not very much so I decided it was a must have. Less Hustle and More Coffee for sure. One thing is for sure, I don’t like being rushed and quite frankly I don’t conform to a rushed lifestyle anymore. Not quite sure I ever rushed to begin with, just mainly was frustrated having to move so quickly from one agenda to another every heartbeat. I think life in a city with a career and family was just that way. I chose to “have it all” and I did, and I’m ready to slow it down. I think we’ve done a tremendous job of that lately especially during the pandemic. Pandemic aside, I’m ready to get out there, do some shopping and adventuring!
So back to the coffee area, I love our little Keurig center. The books make me want to read. I’ve not had time to do so. The making of the videos and the blogging and our watching shows – and sleeping – keep me from getting much reading done. Most of mine are audio books.
Then there is the tea center. Some of these teas are really old. I don’t drink as much hot tea as I should. I’m usually wanting something with caffeine and most of what I have here does not have caffeine. But perhaps I can sip some while watching Netflix. I forget about it.
I added the “We are Thankful for our Blessings” sign to our fall decor. I have a turkey or two stuck back that I will add once Halloween is over. I never really got into Halloween decor after Katy grew up and honestly we never did do much anyway. I do have a Halloween face pumpkin though and I need to be hooking that up at night and keep forgetting.
Why I’m Not in the Mood to Cook
My goal was to get in the mood to cook, but for some reason lately I have not been in the mood. I’m not sure why because normally I get in spurts of it. I really think it is more of a “time” thing. I’ll want to make things and then don’t have time to because I choose to do something else and it gets squeezed out. I also do not love cooking in our kitchen anymore because because because – old counters, old flooring, old stove(s), old everything. It just does not inspire me anymore. George does most of the cooking because he likes to and so a lot of the time it just feels like his domain sometimes. However, I am sure once the flooring is installed that I will become inspired to work in it again. Cabinets need reorganizing, and we need matching glasses instead of all the onesy twosy things. But George gets attached to certain things and won’t let go of them so if I get new glasses he won’t let go of the old and it really makes the space difficult. So I stick with the old things. I am about ready to buy some new dishes though. I’m toying with the idea of black stoneware kind of dishes or a brown or tan. Right now I have white dishes. I like them but just ready for something different. It seems wasteful to spend money on it though. But I do plan on looking at these some in the next year. It’s a next year thing and something to maybe save blow money for. Anyway, those are things I think about when I am ready to cook. I think about the changes I want to make. These things about me drive George bananas. His wanting to keep things the same drives me bananas. But at 58, I’ve decided to be me and well quite frankly I think I decided to be me a long time ago, lol. I’m just not going to feel bad or let anyone make me feel bad for being me.
Making a Nest and Plumping it Up
As a little girl, all my life, all I dreamed about was having my own home, making it nice, creating a nest, and decorating it. I’ve done a lot of that. It’s not been as fast as I’d have liked. Anything over $300 required some topsy turvy conversations, near divorces at times (thinking of the old house and a table I wanted for the new house), but yet we spend house facelift money tens times over with food, wine, beer, liquor, concerts, fine dining and all our hobbies and so forth – and used to spend it on nails and hair coloring, and now all my monthly subscriptions to everything. So I don’t feel bad for being me and wanting to enjoy these things and making my nest nice. Not going to apologize for that. Yes I’m thankful for what I have. But it doesn’t mean you can’t plump your nest up occasionally. Won’t apologize for that and not being selfish for that. I have a personality that likes to make things better, and I can’t help that. I’m looked at being negative because of that and that really hurts my feelings. “I’m never happy” they say.
Maybe I’m not at times because I always feel held back from so many things that I want to do so often. But when there are two of you, you unselfishly allow the other person to have a say and have their way a lot so….we wait, and wait, and wait until it’s your turn. I’m really looking forward to the flooring. And I’m really looking forward to a new stove and counter tops after that. Wonder how many years that’ll take. lol I’ll be dead before I ever get to RV. LOL
Men, Embrace Your Women’s Strengths
So yeah, all that just coming from – I am not in the mood to cook and here’s why. I was trying to analyze why and that all came out. I guess a few years worth of frustration was hidden down in my heart somewhere. But it’s all good. We are blessed beyond belief and I will never be able to shed my love for having things look nice, clean, functional, and organized. I love my clean lines and a fresh look. That will NEVER go away and I will NEVER apologize for it or try to change my persona for another. But I will be willing to compromise so long as it truly is a compromise and not one sided. Sometimes as a woman don’t you think people just want you to be shoved in a corner, be silent, and not saying, not cause any ruffles, any changes, not spend any money, not have an opinion. Oh yeah, it’s everywhere in my world. Has been for a long time. I witnessed it early on and continue to see it in ALL parts of my world. Women get less pay, less titles, less help, less heard, ignored, bullied, and so forth. Some worse than others. I could prove those things to you right now, but I won’t. I choose my world and I choose not to expose ALL that I have seen because I have no need to do so. But I have some stories! But I also am not going to belittle myself just because ANY man wants me to, whether it is my spouse, an employer, or some odd man you have to deal with in a retail store.
Wow, lots of frustrations coming out today. And that is good thing. Apparently I’m frustrated with some men in general these days – no not just these days – actually for a long time. I think they have a lot they need to prove otherwise to convince me they are not the way they are. We shall see. Not all men are that way to shove women aside. But a lot of them are and I do not respect that at all. We have a voice as women. We often have to raise our voices to be heard when others won’t give us space to talk and then we are accused of yelling. And if we are responsible we are called the B word. If we call the behavior out we are most certainly the B. lol. Oh wow, this stuff mainly goes back to my career all those years and all those places in HR. I could go on but there is no point. It’s over and done. I fought the battle and I actually feel like I won. I won for me! I usually said my peace when they needed to “come to Jesus” as they call it, LOL. Usually when they would try to pick a speck from my eye, I’d show them their beam of wood in their life that stretched out a mile and a half from their eyes.
I’m happy with what I’m doing now career wise and retirement is almost here – 4 years or so. And I will celebrate all men who hold their women up and cherish them for who they are, whether it’s their secretary, their wife, their management professional, or their girlfriend. Embrace and celebrate who they are as a person – don’t fight it- work with them, encourage them, endorse them. Have the “balls” to humble yourself and be a good partner, friend, or boss, supportive of their efforts. Don’t leave them on an island to fend for themselves, hoping they screw up and die along the path or just go away. Don’t make fun of them or mock them. Shame on those who do those things. God sees and God will deal with those as he may. Some sooner than later.
And that’s all she wrote for today as payroll must be done. But Wow I feel Better with a capital B. I’ve been listening to Jen Hatmaker and it’s making all this tangle of a mess of feelings come out that I’ve held in a very long time for many many many years. Whew Jen, thank you dear!
Ya’ll gotta read this one! There is no reason other people should make you feel less than special. God made you and me the way we are for a reason. And YOU are needed, as Jen says. Excellent book, Jen.