Well, we are packed and ready. I had a very loooooong day yesterday. My original intent was to go in early as I knew it would be packed extra full. I rushed through the day and was able to get everything done. It was a tough payroll with tons of vacations to enter. Since we didn’t have the holiday Friday everyone took PTO, lol. When I get back I’ll have the HOL payroll and so I have exclamations all over the place for next Monday when I get back so I don’t forget to pay HOL pay since it was a weird year and taken on the 3rd. I left the house at 6:30 ish I think and got home about 6. Everything I didn’t do will be waiting for me to double up on next week.
Remember when I told you I get to drive over the lake to work. The bridge is about twice this long. Was about half way over at this shot. The sunrises over the lake was incredible with the pink clouds and little fog clouds hovering above the water.
The drive itself was pretty through these backroads with the trees still full with snow and the sun peeking through.
I said a prayer of thanks to God for his beautiful artwork yesterday.
So we are about to head out. The flight is at 11:35. Please say prayers of travel safety and blessings as we have both air and car. Hoping all flights go and the rental car has no issues since they are “hard to get” I hear. I hear planes flying about the house already this morning so at least someone is getting somewhere.
My suitcase is full. I can’t buy anything. If I do it’ll have to fit in George’s suitcase (he said he had room) or my backpack. We are excited to see Little Roo! And I won’t like leaving him Sunday not knowing when I will get to see him again. I’m already dreading leaving and we’ve not arrived yet. But we plan to enjoy the time we have. Only 4 nights. Then our plates are full when we return.
We have neighbors who are watching over the house and the cat and will let the cat in the night it dips to 9 degrees when we are gone.
Now that Christmas is over and New Year gone, and we are embarking upon this trip, I’m starting to see the other side of the “holidays” finally. A new year, fresh planner, things to accomplish, friends to see, still two Christmases to do, so the tree itself stays up for a bit. We will also be working on Mom’s goals with her.
So this gets its own headline. Oh my gosh ya’ll. YOU all came out for me yesterday! Thank you so much. EACH ONE of you! I felt your embraces and your trying to solve our problem. Perhaps we can find someone that can lend a screw driving hand in a pinch. I don’t think she will be willing to pay for it. And we are all kinda trying to save right now, but it could be the answer if she is so demandingly desperate with the right now mentality. I was really surprised that the holidays were barely over before the “I have to have my curtains NOW scenario; Nothing is happening the way I want it; I shouldn’t have moved here cause I can’t do anything and ya’ll can’t either ” went down. I feel like sometimes people try to make you feel guilty to make you do more. I’ve been doing a lot of psychological studies on manipulation and have started to see where people in my life have used this. It worked on a lot of people including me. But when I recognize manipulative behavior, I’m learning how to live with it. I have been learning about boundaries for a long time as I’ve always had a soft personality and very easily swayed and taken advantage of at times. You live and learn. I’ve never been good with demanding demeanors though and have never accepted that well. At 59, I don’t have to have demands put on me with an ugly tone – not even from bosses. Just ask a boss that was ugly to me – I didn’t take it and their conversation with me did not go well. I know how to take care of myself and it shocks people when I do. People in life just need to be nice. You get far more with honey than being demanding with people, especially ones that do so much already. What is it they say. “Don’t bite the hand that feeds.” There’s been a lot of hand biting in peoples lives. The result of it is never good. It takes a long time to heal and forgive – if indeed it ever will be. There is already evidence of it. I hope there are not repeats. We can only take so much in life.
When you give and give and give and it’s still not good enough. Sorry for the pun, but something gotta give! All I know is I have to protect my psyche and try to put positive influences in my life to overcome the negative and miserable influences. So I have given everything to God to handle. It’s all to big for me. I’m going to keep on living my life. I’m not giving up my entire free time for one person. It doesn’t work that way. Needs will be met. Luxuries and extra comforts may have to wait a bit. We all have to be patient at times. Maybe the Lord is trying to teach it and it isn’t working, lol.
I just know that I felt sucker punched on my birthday by the “this ain’t working conversation”. It’s not a day I will forget any time soon. What’s done is done. And it didn’t do anyone any favors.
But ya’ll “thank you” for coming to me yesterday. I love you all. This is my place to vent and write and fret! Thank you for letting me get my feelings out of feeling so insufficient and helpless. Not able to be everything everyone wants me to be, and feeling like I’m a disappointment to my Mom. I feel like I can never do anything or enough to please her – ever. And I’m learning that despite my efforts I just need to quit trying to forever please, it’s a moving target I cannot ever personally reach. So we will do what we can with the time we have to give and if that is not good enough…..then ta da……
Here he is….mystery maintenance man to the rescue? Is Schneider still up from hire from One Day at a Time? lol