Coffee Date with Myself, An Array of Emotions, and a Vent Session

I threw some green things up on the mantle since Valentine’s is over and spring and St Patrick’s is the next holiday. Yeah I know one side is heavier stacked than the other. I needed to have bought two of the “ferns” and I’ll get another when I go back to Hobby Lobby.

Panera Soup and Salad

Of course Friday I did all things Mom, Saturday we had our company and dinner party, so Sunday was the day to get anything done that I needed to get done for us. I didn’t get through with everything of course, as it was too packed. I got up and washed all of our fine glasses and cleaned on the kitchen a bit. I went for a walk Saturday morning which was lovely before the south winds started to blow. But I did get my glasses adjusted which with these pair I have to do about every six months. She told me they are about to fall apart and when they do I’ll just get another kind. I also got gas so I didn’t have to try to fit that in during the work week when I’m already in a hurry. I went to Panera and got a salad and soup while doing some planning for the blog, and vlog. I got the car washed and then also went to the grocery to get some items I needed for work and some fresh items for home that we needed. At home, I tried to finish up the laundry but still have one final load to do and will have to do my ironing this week. We had leftovers and watched Manifest and I headed for bed. I had slept until 7 the day before (must have been tired) and then didn’t want to go to sleep last night. Then I overslept this morning and George had to wake me up. ::sigh::

Signs of spring during my walk.
Little Bit in My Lap

Someone requested to see the gifts I received from friends this weekend. And here they are. We laughed and said that the longer after Christmas it was, the more we added to the gift pile that we gave to each other. We did the same. It’s quite the loot there! ;-). I love it all. Lisa is good to me. This was our final Christmas celebration. And it’s awful that we had to wait til February. Between life and work…oh my gosh, as you know if you have read my blog you know how busy it’s been. It was so good to see them though.

Coffee Date with Myself

So I went to Panera and actually had not only coffee but lunch since it was lunch time and I was craving a salad. The 1/2 and 1/2 deal sounded good to me and their tomato soup is divine. I enjoyed the meal so much as I looked over notes I’d taken in the past couple of years on blog and vlog goals. I really wanted to brain storm and turns out, most of that had already been done. I couldn’t think of anything to add, so I basically consolidated my notes. The restaurant began to get crowded, which around 3:30 kindof surprised me. It was hard to concentrate and I felt I needed to leave and let someone else have my table for four (I needed the room to spread out my notes and things). So my idea of having a brain storm and planning session wasn’t all I had hoped. I was hoping for an epiphany – a grand idea(s) – but it was not to be had. All I really did was confirm that I was doing what I set out to do and what I’ve laid out before me that has not been done was mainly because I’d not had time to do it. It’s all there waiting for me to do it.

I left Panera feeling an array of emotions over my VIDEOS/GOALS:

  • Confirmed – that I already had the plans and to do’s laid out and I was headed in the right directions
  • Sad – that I hadn’t had time to get a lot of my plans that I laid out done
  • Disappointed – that I’m not further along and that I’ve not had time in the past year to be more intentional with my videos (using my camera more, going on excursions, telling a better story, filming ourselves). And disappointed that I’m having to learn so many things all over again with Final Cut Pro.
  • Mad – that I have to almost verbally fight with others to get time to myself (not George he’s very supportive). If I have a day off, there is always someone or something wanting a piece of it.
  • Discouraged – about a lot of things – the INTRO I’m not happy with, we have not filmed much of ourselves in the last six months – just things! And I’m disappointed with my work of late because I’ve not had time to do things like I’d want them. And discouraged that Final Cut Pro is taking some time to learn. The audio sucked on the last video. Quite frankly a lot of that video sucked. I just had the footage and used it to learn the new software.
  • Happy – I do have an underlying happiness that I have decided to do the videos and it brings me joy to work on them, to plan them, and work at it and have goals with it. And I’m overjoyed when you all like them and I get a good positive response.
  • Hope – Because I do enjoy doing them, I know that there is hope of improvement and that one day I’ll get more time to work on them again and get on track.

I’m not really ready to share all my goals yet, but mainly it’s BLOG and VLOG growth. I’ve consolidated all my notes and will slowly be able to work on them over time. I looked and the next video is on the flooring. There is hardly any footage of us, so I’ll probably do a little filming of myself walking through the house in current time and introduce it and talk about the flooring a bit and the experience and why we chose those floors.

Growth and improvement are painful. So I have to look at it in that way. I haven’t had time to be intentional with things especially last year while packing and moving Mom twice and trying to meet all her needs as she lived with us and all the doc appointments and care. I let my work on all this slide and it shows. But it’s ok. I’ll doctor it up and patch it up and get up on the horse and ride again.

Everything takes so much time. Here I sit now having overslept, trying to do my normal morning and I’m likely to be late. Life slings us around and I feel like I’m on the end of a whiplash lol.


And if one more person asked me if I have done something yet when they know I have zero time to do it I’m likely gonna bite their head off. :-O I’m not into manipulation tactics and can see it a mile away when people try to make me rush to do something. ::sigh:: George says I don’t owe anyone a response for what I do with my time. Even though people may sit in judgment of it. He’s right, but if someone is too pushy with my time, they WILL hear my response, and I will call them out on it for not being considerate and will start to set some boundaries. Let’s just say that the tribe has spoken. I mean if you ask someone to do something for you, one can at least expect to give the person time to do it before they ask if you have done it yet. (Insert eye roll here).

I really need a break ya’ll b/c I’m about to lose my freaking mind. Life is too much. Somedays, I want to get in the car, drive west and never look back. Thank God for sleep because I think I’d totally loose my marbles. And this is where forgiveness becomes key for me every day because others shirk their God given responsibilities and I’m reminded of it nearly every day. I realize I can’t be everyone’s everything. You can’t please certain people. I’m not even going to try. I’m also not going to be manipulated. I have a new rule. The more I’m pushed the longer it’s going to take! I don’t do manipulation and guilt tactics too well. I’m on it like a fly on trash. I’ve had to put up with it most of my life and it doesn’t sit well with me. Tribe speaks again. The tribe is smart. lol

Off to work.

7 responses to “Coffee Date with Myself, An Array of Emotions, and a Vent Session”

  1. Time is your most valuable asset. You can replace the money you lost, but not the time that gets stolen. Here’s the thing I discovered in my life, people will still your time for their convenience. They need something done or don’t want to do it themselves. it is so much easier to have you do it for them.

    • I’m much more responsive to honey than vinegar for sure. I don’t mind doing things for others as long as they realize I too have a life and are respectful. Please and thank you’s go a long way too.

  2. Hi Sonya, glad you can vent on your blog….it washes over us but helps you…..I think/ hope…I totally agree though don’t let yourself be pushed/ rushed into doing anything unless you really must…..I’m not going to comment much on the rest of todays Blog as I think you already know that your faithful friends already know all you have had to do these last months. There’s been times I’ve thought you were going to crack under the weight of it all. I know you probably would have but for the grace of God who is always surrounding us with his peace, just occasionally we really have to sit quietly and …..wait, for it to sweep over us. We have thankfully all survived the dreadful gales of the weekend ….it’s still gusty and they say we are not out of the wood yet with another storm coming our way in a few days…..That may well take more trees down as I expect they have been loosened in last few days,,,
    Take care in your gales. God Bless.

    • I’m trying to learn how to not let others control my anger and frustration. It’s simply going to be what it is. The others have to learn their roles as well and give me a chance.

  3. Take a deep breath when it all feels overwhelming. Slowly let it out. You have been through a lot this past year. I don’t know how you do all that you do.
    It is nice to see the daffodils peeking out. It won’t be long and Spring will be here. March 20th is the first day of Spring. it is my favorite time of year.
    Hope you have a good week. Take care..

  4. I love seeing the daffodils. Spring is on the way. That’s a happy sight.
    You really owe no one an explanation, especially about what you do with your time. That’s YOUR time & business & personal. Nosey people like to sit back & imagine others lives, not knowing facts. Ignorance.
    You really have been riding a roller coaster this past year. I don’t know how you do all that you do & manage to stay civil. Really. Give yourself a break & a hug. 🤗

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