“Be Calm and Carry On”, Build Site Progress, and a Lighter To Do List

We went to church Sunday and ate with friends and then went by the build site for Mom’s house. The concrete slab has been placed. We were very surprised that the houses next to it were already framed and on their way! How exciting is that? Watching it become real! I think it was important for all of us to see after all the hard work we’ve done getting Mom out of the house and into our own, as we await and watch the progress. How exciting!

As for the church visit? Well Mom said that churches of Christ with the name that has “Hills” in it was code word for being “liberal”. I had never heard that. She fears getting into a church that “allows anything and everything” and allows “certain types of sinners to attend”, which obviously led to discussions about how not everyone in any church is going to be perfect and that we all sin and those with sin obviously need Jesus the most. So a little drama before and after as we held these discussions. Mom has a tendency to raise her voice and get visibly angry when explaining her views, which is not really necessary, but I allowed her to say what she needed to say about it, and then I did as well in a much calmer voice.

If a conversation gets too loud or ugly I boundary it with people, not caring who you are. I don’t like to be yelled at and I will table a conversation if someone starts yelling no matter who you are- whether you are my Mom or an executive. Anger scares me but most of all I don’t want to be talked to that way, and I refuse to be. Luckily with Mom on Sunday – no yells -just raised voices and a “tone” over it.

Unless I get angry too and one will know that I am and I am not quiet either at that point. You don’t want to go there or provoke me b/c I can unleash it. When I get angry will expel everything about you that has bothered me in the past 5 years that I have kept quiet about and it comes out fast and its unarguable! And I will win the conversation. I really don’t like that side of me and I don’t want it to come out. So I will walk on eggshells around people to avoid both them and me getting angry. It’s just not the way to solve things. I have really had to work on that all my life as we have a tendency to react like our role models that we had. It is hard to tame oneself of these tendencies. But now these types of tendencies are perceived as bullying, gaslighting, etc. So we all need to be calm and carry on! lol lol lol

Mom said she didn’t see anything unscriptural taking place but was not particularly happy about the Sunday school discussion which I will refrain from going into as I don’t necessarily see scripture the way my mother does. I DO feel that God’s word is for all sinners and not just a few. I Do feel his word should be open to all. But I do agree that none of us should let our sins be a foothold and I do not feel that God wants us to freely continue in that sin but to continually shed the sin. We agree on that point. But to me, it’s not about agreeing with my Mom. My Mom is not going to judge me in the end —oh wait, what am I saying, Mom’s judges me and others all the time – lol – let me rephrase that – My God’s judgement of me is the one that matters. Like I say I worship Him everyday not just on Sunday. So as far as “the church going” goes, I have given her the church going card to hold her in hand. I really don’t care what she does with the card. It would be nice to be able to go to the church we were used to when we went and where there are so many people we know already but that would too easy right? And that would be what I would prefer to do. It’s never about me though, lol. It’s what Momma wants. I don’t have to take her but I have given her the church going card. That means I’ve promised to take her where she wants to go. I will sacrifice my time and effort to take her where she wants. I want to keep that promise. So like I said, if she wants to worship a corn stalk, I’ll take her. lol lol But I don’t hold any expectations that she will like our church. She had preconceived opinions about it before ever trying it and really already had her mind made up and told me no, until finally she agreed to try it after I told her the person she didn’t like wasn’t going there anymore. Since then she has found another couple that she was told “gave up the Lord” for attending there. Lord, help us all.

I don’t make this stuff up ya’ll. This is my life. This has been my life. It’s a wonder my eyeballs have not stuck permanently as they roll back into my head sometimes at some of the conversations. Most of them ONE WAY until as an adult I realize I have a voice and I’m allowed to have and form my own opinions and I do not have to agree with another person if I don’t want to. That said I want to keep my promises. As long as it is healthy to do so. If it becomes a unhealthy thing, I will boundary it. That is not being rude but that is protecting oneself and keeping oneself safe.

So I put a fun little July 4 decor on the table. I didn’t have a lot of red to choose from. This seemed to be an American kind of centerpiece. Children, worth fighting for, worth having Indepence for. A little Red Wagon is iconic also!

To lighten up the mood from the “church going” tension (isn’t it a shame that has to be the source of tension?) I ordered a puzzle for us to start on the 4th weekend coming up as we have an extra day.

I ended up with this one. How perfect! It’s a larger piece puzzle and a Ravenburger I think if I’m spelling it right. I thought the larger pieces would help Mom to see them. The picture is just so cozy. I look forward to working it.


I only have ONE Reeses left at work and I’m going to have to give them up. When I eat one I immediately want another. So I’m going to have to go to my wellness program chocolates or migrate to only the dark chocolate. Otherwise I will continue to eat two a day. ::sigh:: This is not the new habit I was hoping for, lol.
However, I allowed it during the stress days of moving Mom. We were using more calories anyway and I needed the comfort!

I’m a conflicted bag of horse poo though, because I bought brownie mix at the store last night when I did a big staples run just for me and what I need (and a few things for Mom). I was considering making light trifle cups with blueberry and strawberry, graham crackers and whip cream, this weekend for dessert since it’s a holiday. But no, we’ll go whole hog with brownies and chocolate mint ice cream scoop on top! Not very 4thy but very American! lol

And that is my story and I’m sticking to it!

I also began editing and doing voiceovers for the next video, yesterday morning, keeping with my “every other day blog/vlog” schedule.

Off to work. I’m not going in as early today as I worked early all month to get extra work in so I can take off one afternoon a month to take Mom to the do appt, but instead of taking an afternoon off I ended up burning a PTO day. So I am not going in early today.

I also have made her heart appointment with the new doc. Same group as far as hospital records so they had all her data, just a different doctor so that he is nearby. So that is later in July on a Monday morning. My desk does not get critical until Monday afternoon so I will be ok and rush through it and still get the work done.

I got my to do list done Sunday that I mentioned in the blog – almost all of it! I was so happy. My to do list is lighter this week. Thank goodness. I need to work on my wellness program order, work on dusting, changing out the bathroom rug and washing it, doing our Bucket List calendar (probably this weekend now that summer is half over), and set up the card table and chairs for puzzling.

And I better finish getting ready and get on the road!

Employer Picnic Day, Winery Excursion, and Little Roo Takes to the Pool

We went to George’s company picnic yesterday for lunch. We had BBQ, kielbasa dog, baked beans, Mac n Cheese, and I brought home my chips. It was nice a little lunch. We did not win any prizes but there is nothing we need in life right now I guess, but perhaps reflooring and a house remodel. lol. They were not giving those away. We only stayed for an hour or so as George had to leave to go get a PO for an emergency order. The plant runs 24/7. He only works Mon – Fri but every now and then if a part will shut the plant down, he will have to give a PO for something or try to order something on the weekends. Rare but the call came during the picnic of course. lol

Afterwards we wanted to run by a nearby winery, Cellar53 Winery in Smith County, TN.

The place is beautifully landscaped. It looks like George has flowery pants, lol lol lol. The day was breezy and warm and we enjoyed sitting outside among the green hills and breezy trees. A couple of dogs were around. One evidently went home with its owner and the other lazed around and surprised us by peeking around the corner.

We only did a picnic tasting. These were actually smaller cups than they look. They are larger than communion cups but smaller than the little small size clear drink cups you see at social settings. We got to pick 4. We ended up buying 3 bottles of wine to take home. But it was about like having 1 glass of wine a piece total I guess while we sat outside for a bit. Here was the straight on view from my seat.

I held up my watermelon wine to the US flag, “here’s to America reopening and having gatherings and excursions again”.

One of the wines I bought, was Independence Red, for July 4th!

I really like this winery place. It’s just a little far out though for my liking. It’s close to George’s work though. It’s about 45 min away. Not much else to do in that area but Walmart and maybe a dinner. So we don’t go out this far usually. George has to travel that way all week long so we usually stay close around for excursions unless we are going to make a half day tour of an area or something.

I’ve missed our excursions and it felt like a mini vacation day. We enjoyed it so much. We headed back home and after a big lunch followed by a glass of wine, I was not in a “work mode”, I was in “relax mode”. So I chose to have another glass of wine and read. It was good for my psyche. I redid my to do list marking off all that I had done this week, which was more than I thought. I planned for the next week.

Have I told you how much I love my little escape room? My bed is perfect, my Mac computer is both a hobby spot, planning spot, and a TV. And my chair and little table make the perfect prayer journaling, bible reading, pleasure reading, wine sipping corner.

Life.Is.Good

Life.Is.God

We had a wonderfully cooked evening meal at the dining table.

My To List for Today (Sunday):

  • Church this morning
  • Lunch with friends
  • See Mom’s Plot/House
  • Redo my Vitamins
  • Make pimento and cheese
  • Maybe make a pasta salad
  • Wash George’s sheets
  • Change purses
  • Do my Order for that Wellness Company I use
  • Grocery (might wait and do that tomorrow after work)
  • Hem blue pants
  • Iron a couple of pants/shirts for the next week
  • July 4th decor for table

I thought I had fewer things to do, but I guess not, lol. I’ll probably work on the video in the morning. It’s time to start editing.

I think life is starting to get back to normal. George and I have also booked a concert for next weekend and dinner before. So we have “a date” of sorts.

But George’s Uncle Richard passed yesterday and we are sad about that.

Better go and get ready for church. I’m showered but just need to put on my outfit and do makeup. I’ve been wearing makeup again this week, takes a little extra time.

Pray for us that Mom likes the church. I guess I’m being pessimistic but I’m not used to family members EVER agreeing on much when it comes to churches, and the things churches do, or the people do, or whatever. And someone she doesn’t like she heard goes there, but I’ve been told they no longer go there. So Mom agreed to go.

Mom has decided she doesn’t like ANY church that has “Hills” in it because that their code word for being ________ (fill in the blank here) -however it is she things they are. Liberal I guess. It’ll be a miracle if we end up all going to the same church. Or church at all. George won’t go to Mount Juliet Church of Christ. So……yeah, wish us luck. It would be too easy if she liked this one right next to her place, and where our friends go right? Mom thinks this church has instrumental music and women preaching, but they do not. I don’t know where she got the information or if she just internalized that somehow on her own. I’m afraid to hope so that I’m not disappointed. So we don’t have high expectations today. Maybe that is a wrong approach, but one has to protect themselves from disappointment. And no one gets to own my emotions anymore. I’m not tying myself to anything. It’s just simply going to be or not to be and we’ll move on from there. ;-). But I will say that how things go today will determine the future. So it IS important. If Mom is not happy, I will keep my promise and take her somewhere else in which we will either go with or drop her off, or we’ll all just stay home and do our own thing, but I will keep my promise and that is all that matters on my end. I’m good with me and my God. We are tight. I worship him where I am, all day and everywhere, not just on Sunday. But yeah, how it goes today, determines the rest for ALL.

Meanwhile in Texas

How Not to Let Others Push Your Buttons

Photo by Maksim Romashkin on Pexels.com

I chose this pic for today’s blog post because the picture best reflects the topic for today, How Not to Let Other’s Push Your Buttons, which is really the topic of: How We Got to be Who We are, Why We React the Way We Do, and How to Handle That. Why we are who we are and we got that way is a huge complex mass, with cracks, clumps, connections, bubbles, darkness, and confusion. But there is good news. We can break through it all to clear skies and sunshine, with a little bit of help, a little bit of looking back, and a little bit of looking forward. Knowing God helps.

I decided to blog about this today because of a Podcast I listened to this week by Amy Smith, of the Joy Junkie Podcast through my iPhone app. It resonated a lot with me and helped me to look back on a few things in my life, so that I could look forward in life and be able to react or handle some relationships differently. It seems like we often have recurrences in life of people that can “push our buttons”! So how do we deal with that differently and keep that from happening?

A lot of our personality being is from God, who created us in our Mother’s womb, and who knows the number of hairs on our heads, but a lot of who we are and how we handle ourselves, come from our youth from ages 0 to 8. Our experiences and our roles models in EVERYTHING WE DID or SAW, formed our brains, our minds, our opinions and our reactions. From about 0 to 8, as a child, everything said was fact. At that age you have no way to discern, you simply take everything as fact.

Our feelings though start at a much younger age. One usually remembers how they feel or felt regarding certain things that happened in their life. Irregardless of the person(s) making them feel that way, their intent, or their reason, we STILL felt emotions regarding certain events. Those emotions – if negative ones – rallied ourselves into creating defense mechanisms to be able to cope with those emotions.

Listening to this podcast made me look back into my life and recall the negative emotions I experienced from childhood and up into some present times in my life. Which we ALL have had. Everyone of us has had negative experiences and negative feelings. Doing this was very eye opening as I could see patterns. Patterns that began early in childhood and persisted, in the way I react to situations and to people. Now I’m not going to go in detail about my personal life here as to what caused my negative emotions as it would shed negative light on others and that is not my intent at all. But I do want to share this with you today because of the way it made me feel after I did this look back exercise. It freed me in many ways from some tangles that beheld me. I learned a lot about myself and that is what the purpose of it is, to learn about yourself and to free yourself from negative emotions linked to the past especially within your relationships, and to learn where you need to set boundaries, and not allow buttons to be pushed. That part about boundaries, I was already getting pretty good at as it’s a lesson I’ve already learned. Not an expert, but I usually have no problem establishing and giving boundaries.

Photo by Tatiana Syrikova on Pexels.com

The Root of our Emotions

I experienced fear at times of certain people in my life, feeling some things were unfair or unjust at times, and later developed some anger surrounding some things that I couldn’t change and toward those that would spawn negative energies around me. I sometimes felt trapped. I remember at times feeling like I didn’t have an outlet for these feelings and didn’t know what to do, so I just cried. Aha! That is why I cry at first when I’m misunderstood or misjudged or mistreated! I also remember feeling judged and criticized, and often felt like I had to have justification for everything I did or didn’t do. Aha! That is where my defensiveness was born! Having to explain or justify my every move, a list of 1, 2, 3 reasons why I thought a certain way, acted a certain way, did a certain thing, etc. I often felt I didn’t have a voice as someone usually spoke for me or over me. Aha! That is why I cut people off today midstream and mid thought – it was a learned reaction and I needed to do that to be able to have my own thought heard! And so forth…..

So you see what I did here?

Here’s how to go back and revisit negative emotions early on in life, so you can learn why you react the way you do, what defense mechanisms or coping mechanisms you developed.

  • Remember negative emotions you had as a child in your younger days, as a teen, as an adult, in past relationships or situations. What were they? Remember the specific incidents.
  • Don’t focus on the other person that made you feel that way or what their intentions were – just focus on you. How did you react or feel?
  • How did you cope with that? What was your defense mechanism?
  • BAM! Do you see the link between your younger formative years and now?

Knowing that is very freeing. You can begin to change your reactions and your outlook because once you know that and can see the patterns, you can focus on the future ways you want to react or feel or cope.

Is it OK to Revisit the Past?

We are often told not to visit the past as it makes you hold grudges or bring these thoughts to the forefront where you will bring it up in a more recent argument with others. And of course that can be true. But I DO think we have to go back and wrestle with the past so that we can drop off that damn baggage, (I’m sorry but baggage needed a curse word here), that tries to control us and haunt us at every turn down the path.

Taking it a step further though into the REASON why someone may have made you feel a certain negative emotion. Now you can visit why by using EMPATHY. Did the person really mean to hurt you? Was their actions warranted? It is possible we did not rationale this situation appropriately. Did they really have ill intent? Selfish Intent? They may have done something out of hate or out of selfishness or maybe you just thought they did. Just recognize this and think about it and then let it go. If you conclude it was ill intent – that is NOT on you. If you conclude that it was not ill intent, you can begin to work though some things within yourself to understand that. It’s easier as now you have identified the most important thing – that “oh it probably wasn’t something I should have taken personal” and BAM, problem solved.

Photo by Yaroslav Shuraev on Pexels.com

The whole purpose of this exercise is so that you can realize that you don’t have to allow others to own your emotions. Once you try to understand how a person pushed your buttons initially – you start to understand why – and then you can decide to release it. It doesn’t mean a person’s actions are OK if you release it, you are just not going to let the actions own you or ruin your day.

Will you be able to fix an issue permanently?

Probably not. The original button pushing feeling may emerge again and again causing a chain reaction of emotions. You can’t change others, but you can change yourself. Just realize what is going on, don’t harbor your anger or negative emotions. Don’t let them control you. Approach your thoughts with clarity and calmness. Anger only muddles the mind. Claim your mind as your own. Free yourself.

HOW TO GUARD YOUR BUTTONS:

  1. RECOGNIZE WHY YOUR BUTTON IS BEING PUSHED. (Exercise above).
  2. You can find ways to release the negative energy
  3. Limit your time around those with negative energy.
  4. Be kind to the person giving you the negative energy. Don’t let anything be on YOU.
  5. Control your own reactions. Set a time later to continue the conversation if needed.
  6. Lead with Love!
  7. Realize you are NOT in charge of the negative person’s reactions. Just yours.
  8. Set boundaries with the negative person pushing your buttons.
  9. Refocus you mind on other things that need your attention
  10. Set a timer to schedule a time to think about it later (you will be less angry, less bothered for rational thinking)
  11. Do or plan fun things to do
  12. Focus on the positive
  13. Breathe deeply ten deep breaths, positive in, exhale negative out
  14. Spend some time in nature
  15. Talk and release with a friend
  16. Drink a glass of wine and toss a cheer to yourself for being insightful
  17. Have a cup of coffee (home brewed or cafe out) and smile because good coffee is oh so good!
  18. Come read my blog and I’ll always have something for you to focus on, lol.
  19. Leave me a comment and I’ll love you forever.
  20. Watch my YouTube Channel and we will be BFF’s forever and ever and ever.

Ok a little humor there at the end, but yeah – Humor is probably the one and only thing that could resolve all of this in one big swoop. Throw humor in there and that’s all the perspective you need!

Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

I hope this has helped. I was so excited to have listened to this podcast. And it sent me soaring down a path that really helped me and I was excited to share with you. Let me know what you thought.