What a joy she was to my life. She remains in my heart forever, my Miss Maisy. Not able to properly digest and expel, no appetite, off the chart liver issues, moderate to severe heart issues, labored breathing, and considering her age, I made the call to give her peace.
Yesterday at 4:30 we held on to her weak body and said our goodbyes as she slipped into peace. The vet and staff at Countryside Hospital were wonderful in the situation. There was an offer to try a couple of new things. But considering all she has been through and the state of her organs – I just didn’t want her suffering through all of this any longer for a few more weeks or months. She was not handling the meds well and not a candidate for any type of surgery due to her heart. I made the call for peace and no more suffering. She was truly a sick little girl.
We came home and buried her in the dark in the backyard. I had called Katy and Momma and told them on the way home from the vet. I texted a couple of neighbors to let them know and to come over if they wished to keep us company while we buried her. They loved her too. My friend and neighbor Christy’s son had rescued Maisy. She was there in a flash to talk to us while George dug the grave. Naturally George passed beers around in celebration of our Maisy girl’s life and quite honestly to take the edge off of what we have just been through and what we will be going through without her. Our neighbor friend, David also came over when I texted we were burying Maisy in the backyard. I thought maybe George could use the moral support too. David helped shovel some. He knows how we love our doggies. We all put a shovel full on top as we said our goodbyes. To me, and knowing God and how he does things, I knew that she was no longer in her body but with us in spirit, in our minds and our hearts and our souls. She will no longer be kept to the limitations of her body but will now be able to be with us wherever we are.
Christy and George and I came in and had BBQ and Beans and Cornbread and watched Elf. I texted my friend Lisa. And posted on Facebook. Lisa called me immediately. I burst into tears and she did too, feeling my pain. I’m grateful to all those that supported us yesterday and in the previous roller coaster days as we tried to deal with and heal our precious Maisy girl.
What a loyal, sweet, faithful friend my Maisy has been. Not even any person I know has cherished me like she did. What a gift God gave me in her, to follow me around and worship me as she did. Always wanting to be at my feet, at my side, with me, watching me. She quickly became a buddy and friend. I will miss our bed time the most, singing to her, and talking to her. She would look me in the eyes and our eyes would lock as I spoke to her. It’s as if she knew exactly what I was saying and feeling. I always thanked God for her for providing her to me when I needed a friend the most. And God provided her with a friend when she needed it most too. She had been found wandering around in a Tropical Storm.
She was always so dainty. She would also wait at the shower or bathroom door til I showered. She went from room to room with me. Sometimes it was comical on the weekends and she figured out I was all over the place and would finally settle somewhere in the den or would go sleep finally til I finished walking around the house.
On a small scale it feels like I’ve failed her because it was after all, my call to end her life. But I know that is not true but I’ve loved her enough to not make her go through so much just to keep her alive for my sake for a few more weeks or months. My heart hurts, but my mind is at ease knowing she is no longer having to fight, to be in a medicine coma state, no more discomfort or pain, or unhappiness for our girl. No more roller coasters. No more fighting us over pills. Yesterday, knowing this was likely to happen, we did not give her any pills. We allowed her to have a pill free day. We both worked yesterday. What we came home to mid afternoon was not pretty within the two rooms in which both dogs stay. George began working on the carpets and I the kitchen before our appointment so we would not have to come home to the mess. As it turns out Roger is also met with a tummy issue now, likely from our experimenting with Maisy as to what she would eat and giving it to Roger if she would not. His diet has changed. So we will see how THAT goes. He did eat some this morning – so hopefully it’s just a diet change thing. He often does that. I need a break right now from everything, and as bad as I hate to say it, just from all pets right now – even Roger. I will be there for Roger, of course, but right now I need some time, some extra sleep and free from worry over how a dog feels or what I need to be doing for a dog. So I’m glad George is here to care for Roger. I will help but right now I want to clean my house, get ready for Christmas and fill my mind with joy and hope and fond memories of Maisy. I don’t want to have to focus on anything else right now. I guess what I am saying is my heart and spirit is just spent right now.
For the video channel, I’ll probably do a special video up to date imovie to explain that Maisy has passed and that there will be a few more videos to catch up to current time and then once the videos catch up I’ll be having to change my intro.
Oh my heart. I can’t even imagine doing the videos without her in them somewhere! A person should have a day to recover from losing a dog. It should be considered a family member. But I have to go close payroll today. Not really a good combination if you ask me.
I awoke at 2:30 this morning and looked in the spot where she would lay. I normally see two ears pop up in the moonlight as she was attune to my every movement. When I was awake she was awake. If I got up she would get up too if I was gone more than five or ten minutes from bed. There were no ears to pop up. I was alone and not followed when I got up. The tears naturally dropped in big heaps. But in my sadness, during those times, I heard her say “I’m here Momma, right here, in your heart and on your shoulder. I get to be with you all the time now, even at work.” She even went on to say that Tugie was there too and that she met some of my previous dogs from the past and how cool they were. Made me smile to hear – or just to imagine that.
Tears will roll on as life rolls on. And all I can type any further is that the coffee sure does taste good this morning, and I miss her so, but her battle is over.