Managing Life with Grace and Ease….or Maybe NOT!

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Happy Halloween! Hard to believe that tomorrow is November! And today starts our Christmas Shopping! We have plans that are forming and changing right up to the last minute.

As for yesterday. It was an intense and busy Friday, frantically trying to cover as much ground as possible with the little time I was given to try and get returns filed. I made more ground than I realized this week. And not as behind as I thought – maybe a little more behind than normal but I think I have about two more days of work to go. Only down to the state that we are always a day or two late on, Oregon.

The major return that I normally struggle with a bit, the 941 return was filed though. It was complicated and stumped everyone else too because of the COVID numbers and credits. I was confused as to what number I was supposed to arrive to. I did the return but was it right? You have to matching numbers in your payroll reports to what you see on the screen in the report. lol. It was confusing but I was thankful to have help.

I have a very good and patient boss and teacher. She is so good with me and my personality. She knows I can do things, she knows I get better when I have good notes and that although it may be a slow go at this field I was never “colleged in”. She knows that I will eventually learn the task and can do it on my own. I used to have to have help with Oregon but I can do that one now. It once took three of us to get it done, lol. I balanced the first time yesterday on the unemployment, withholding, trimet, and WBF tax return – it’s an all in one. (But still there is an STT tax thing that has to be filed. And then I have to do all of the same for our Transport company.)

But my boss was very patient with me yesterday knowing I was freaking out late afternoon. I burst out with “I need to start getting this information sooner” and setting boundaries of “Now I can’t stay past dark by myself!” as the fear began pushing in. I wondered if she rolled her eyes inside at my stress (I probably would have if I was my supervisor, lol) – but if she did I didn’t see it. I am thankful that she lets me vent for a minute knowing that I will do so and then I will go on to finish said task. Some supervisors would just sit and argue and judge you over what you just said or vented, but she gets it and lets me just get it out and lets me go on.

I know I have to be frustrating sometimes when I get stressed and honestly a bit angry for having to rush at the last minute when I’m the last domino piece of the quarter end puzzle. And I don’t want to let us down. But this time there were a lot of things going on, and a lot of things that had to come together before the data was ready for me to do my part. Then when it was time to do my part there was not much time left. Could we have planned this better? I don’t know. It is and has been out of my control. I was good until I really needed a “mask” over my mouth in the last hour or two as I vented my frustrations.

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If we could do a bit more planning and have little icons set on a timeline that we have to be this far along by certain times in the month or we won’t finish on time – maybe the last minute crunch could be avoided. But there were new types of twists to this one that made things go awry. So….I’m not sure it could have been helped. Of course I pulled the rabbits out of the hat, ate lunch at my desk, prayed, prioritized, and did what I could to make up for it and was pleased that I made lemons out of a sauerkraut situation, LOL LOL. I don’t know where these things come from – they just pop in my head when I’m typing. How one can compare tax returns to sauerkraut is beyond me. I relate everything to food.

So back to the 11th hour…..As I mentioned it was a bit frantic as I had my day planned out but was redirected to do another return instead and rattled me a bit as it was the end of the day. I made notes that we need to try and NOT do that one at the end of the day but at the beginning of the day and I made notes that there are things I can have figured in advance to make it easier during the time crunch. I frustratingly called George and told him I’d be late, and it made me mad that suddenly at 4 p.m. I was just now realizing my night (our plans) was to be blown, but I was able to pull out of it more quickly than I thought. But…it meant I was not going to get through with the other things I was working on -gosh darnit. And then my email was exploding I got about 25 PTO forms at the very last minute as one of our plants had a power outage earlier in the week but decided to put those off til Monday to get ready for payroll.

I should do a procrastination post. I think most everyone lives in a procrastination world. That is so…..against my nature. I could probably title this post Procrastination as the opposite of it would have made for a better day for everyone. But it’s ok….I’m sure I procrastinate in some areas of my life too. And After all our plans were not ruined. I had done what I could with the time allotted, and wasn’t going to be able to focus and function beyond that point with accuracy. So I left at the time I normally do.

Dizzy Dizzy Dizzy

And yeah, There’s more to the story. I worked yesterday with dizziness, sweats, shakiness, and nearly passed out or stroked out or something around 1 or so. I have been doing my 16 hours of fasting and then eating in an 8 hour window of the day. It worked really well for two days! I could feel my body releasing fat, toxins, my tummy getting flatter, and felt great. I had found the way to do it w/o having to cleanse all day. But yesterday, I had water and fruits drink and then when I ate, because I was trying to eat quick, I ate starchy things – carrots with honey french dressing, mac and cheese cup, and two slices of bacon – oh and an oreo cookie. Odd weird lunch I know. Then a few minutes later while filing a return, everything turned upside down and I began to feel out of control like I was about to pass out or just disconnect from the world. I grabbed the desk and put my head down and drank water and ate nuts for quick protein.

So I had gone from not eating, to eating a bunch of everything that was sugar or starch that would turn into sugar. I think my system was shocked by it. This incident made me realize this is what was happening all those times I was dizzy across my life – and I can picture each time it happened, where I was and how it made me feel was just like what I experienced yesterday. And it’s the big reason why I’m afraid to be hungry or miss a meal. It’s the reason I overeat. It’s because I’ve always tried to avoid this happening. I remember these times in my life when this happened:

  1. College dorm, had been waiting to eat knowing we were going out later in the day for pizza. I drank a sweet tea in the lobby while waiting to be picked up.
  2. Working at Cain Sloan, a busy morning and didn’t eat properly- I’m sure I had a coke or something and then BAM. This is the biggest one though – I was dizzy for two days and had a hard time walking after this dizzy spell as it messed with my balance. It was the day before the Challenger exploded. I remember as I was home trying to recover and regain balance and clear vision and balance.
  3. Driving to Columbia with Katy in the car to my sister’s shower. Didn’t eat much knowing that we were going to eat later. Probably sipped on some kind of sweet drink on the way and bam. I recovered quickly and was able to get to the right lane where I chose to stay in case it happened again.
  4. At the movie theatre and mall at Hundred Oaks. We didn’t eat breakfast as we were going to an early matinee around noon and then eat after. I decided I’d cut calories by no breakfast and just eat popcorn and coke. Bam! I had to send Katy to tell George to hurry and get me a taco fast as I was about to pass out. Dizzy, sweat, everything going black. Protein brought me back.
  5. The day we went to Cheekwood, and I skipped lunch as we were going out to eat. Not sure if I had anything sweet or not but got the shakes really bad and felt out of control. We had to get something to eat in a hurry while waiting for friends to join us.
  6. The day we had a late brunch with a lot of starches and I topped it off with a pancake and syrup. BAM! Had to get George to take us through a fast food place where I could get a burger and eat the meat off the bun to bring me back.

Why is this backward from everyone else that has to have sugar to bring them back? Like orange juice. I have to eat protein to be brought back to normal. Anyway, I can’t do this again. I realize now what is causing it. Not eating for a stretch, followed by eating sugar/starch and not much protein.

So why did not do this while cleansing? I was following their system and eating some small thing every hour all day long and they had it built in where you wouldn’t have sugar highs or lows. I’m not sure which it is. I think I’m just getting opposite extremes and my system can’t handle it. Momma told me this might happen and I shooed her thoughts away but she was right. So no more fasting like that.

Instead of going home, I pushed through for the sake of quarter end processing. I knew I had to pull my part of the puzzle. But another reason we need to NOT try and do things last minute. Now we are all much older, I have a Momma older than me that will begin need much more care, and we will have a new Grandson soon. So procrastination could prove to be a nasty notch on the wheel if selected as the course of option always. One never knows when you have a situation that will take you away that will put a kink in everything planned, and then there is payroll. So double trouble. This is why I like to get things done early! You are in a better position for life to happen.

But no worries and no more fasting! That will at least help. If I’d known that I could have had a nice breakfast yesterday! LOL. Dang it!

I’d rather be fat and happy than stroked out and dizzy.

Evening Out

And since I stayed at work, as bad as I felt, I pushed through our plans to go to the new restaurant in town, MEMO’s.

I kinda felt like I was put through a grinder of sorts and spit out the other end of the work week, and it was odd sitting there at the restaurant with George on the other side of me. Wow. All I could think of was taxes, returns, numbers, files, computer, calculator, desk, pens. Now I’m plunked down in a restaurant with a drink in my hand and no words. All I could say was “How was your day?” I had no brain left. Not much energy and was looking very forward to those fajitas! Protein, my friend!

We were so excited when it arrived, I apparently didn’t take a picture, LOL. But I did get the drinks and yes, even after yesterday’s debacle with the fasting, I had dessert. If I have a lot of protein I can handle it. So we got the Mexican Cheesecake.

For a few I came back to life and suggested to watch a movie when we got home. But on the way home I told George, I couldn’t do it. Couldn’t focus, just needed to play Candy Crush and go to bed. Dang it I left those clothes in the washer -was trying to get ahead and now need to reboot it and let it wash again most likely.

An Intruder?

Well I slept for a couple of hours and then woke up about an hour after George came to bed. I think about midnight or so. I kept hearing noises that didn’t sound familiar – full moon, booms and bangs in the night, a door shutting, a window being pried open. Who knows, but with each noise the imagination gets bigger. I had a home intruder envisioned in my brain. I got up to look outside. Imagine the horror when my sleepy eyes transfixed on the sun room door that was opened a few inches wide. What? I thought my eyes were betraying me – surely not. I went to another window for a closer look. And YES THE SUN ROOM DOOR was open!

I quickly jumped back in bed – the easiest way to get to George in a king size bed. He was sleeping good. Real good. Snores and all. I kept trying to wake him. It took three tries and alarmed him as I said the sun room door is open and I’m scared someone is in the house or has been.

He got up, I grabbed my phone and had the dial pad open where I could easily call 911 without fumbling. He grabbed the gun and began going forward and looking everywhere. We did not see anyone. I was rattled. I could not go to sleep until 4 a.m. Was anyone hiding somewhere? I played Candy Crush, drank SleepyTime Tea and waited for either morning or a burglar surprise – I wasn’t sure which. I just prayed. And at 4 a.m. when I knew people would start to stir across the neighborhood that we were nearing the safer hours and I crawled back in bed and slept until 8. George put double doors between Maisy and me so she wouldn’t wake me up.

The coffee is good, the blogging is good and I’m going for a second cup, a shower and then we are off to Lebanon TN for the day to shop and eat! And oh yeah, I’ll be grabbin a bit of something before I go. Likely an egg. I’ve been craving an egg sandwich all week. Maybe I’ll do an egg on whole grain – just once slice. Geez!

I think I’ll take my camera and keep it around my neck for our adventures today. What a beautiful day for some shots around the square!

7 responses to “Time Crunch, Dizziness, and a Possible Intruder”

  1. 7monica7 Avatar

    I just stopped by to let you know that I was thinking about you.
    The open sun room door is spooky.
    I know that dizzy feeling is the worst.
    I’m off to make a batch of chili.
    Happy Halloween!

    1. Backporchwriter Avatar

      Awww Ms Monica thank you! Made my day! Chili sounds fun! Have a great Halloween 🎃

  2. Lauren Avatar
    Lauren

    Sounds like you had a rough day. I am prediabetic so have to eat 3-4 small meals a day or I get lightheaded and feel shaky. Protein bars help to keep my blood sugar steady./
    hope you did not have an intruder. That is scary.
    Take care and try not to do too much today.

  3. Cocosmom Avatar
    Cocosmom

    Well did someone open the door or was it accidently opened with the wind,, etc. You left us hanging on that one.. You can lock the doors to the sunroom also can you not. Let us know about that one. Take care to eat small meals during the day so you do not have those feelings. They are bad. This is one reason I do not eat a lot of sweets. I love pancakes but do not need to start the day off with them as it is a sugar overload.

    1. Backporchwriter Avatar

      I think it was the wind that blew the door open- I am not sure but nothing seems amiss. So going with that!

  4. Sybil Avatar
    Sybil

    Oh dear poor you and all this worry and then going way back reminding yourself of other instances when you felt odd mainly because your diet was not right…Please love try to forget things from way back leave them there and think only about today’s worries…Anyway I’m sure you’ll feel better today, As I type this I imagine you are having a lovely sunny day enjoying some good food and maybe even buying a few gifts? I am relieved to see you didn’t have a burglar etc Hope George makes sure tonight that ALL the doors are firmly shut and locked…
    Enjoy the rest of your day. God Bless

    1. Backporchwriter Avatar

      Oh just so you know the point about all those other times was me figuring out what was doing it. I never realized why I had dizzy moments- was thinking MS or something and realized yesterday all those tones were probably blood sugar related. It’s all good. Eating better today.

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