Time Crunch, Dizziness, and a Possible Intruder

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Happy Halloween! Hard to believe that tomorrow is November! And today starts our Christmas Shopping! We have plans that are forming and changing right up to the last minute.

As for yesterday. It was an intense and busy Friday, frantically trying to cover as much ground as possible with the little time I was given to try and get returns filed. I made more ground than I realized this week. And not as behind as I thought – maybe a little more behind than normal but I think I have about two more days of work to go. Only down to the state that we are always a day or two late on, Oregon.

The major return that I normally struggle with a bit, the 941 return was filed though. It was complicated and stumped everyone else too because of the COVID numbers and credits. I was confused as to what number I was supposed to arrive to. I did the return but was it right? You have to matching numbers in your payroll reports to what you see on the screen in the report. lol. It was confusing but I was thankful to have help.

I have a very good and patient boss and teacher. She is so good with me and my personality. She knows I can do things, she knows I get better when I have good notes and that although it may be a slow go at this field I was never “colleged in”. She knows that I will eventually learn the task and can do it on my own. I used to have to have help with Oregon but I can do that one now. It once took three of us to get it done, lol. I balanced the first time yesterday on the unemployment, withholding, trimet, and WBF tax return – it’s an all in one. (But still there is an STT tax thing that has to be filed. And then I have to do all of the same for our Transport company.)

But my boss was very patient with me yesterday knowing I was freaking out late afternoon. I burst out with “I need to start getting this information sooner” and setting boundaries of “Now I can’t stay past dark by myself!” as the fear began pushing in. I wondered if she rolled her eyes inside at my stress (I probably would have if I was my supervisor, lol) – but if she did I didn’t see it. I am thankful that she lets me vent for a minute knowing that I will do so and then I will go on to finish said task. Some supervisors would just sit and argue and judge you over what you just said or vented, but she gets it and lets me just get it out and lets me go on.

I know I have to be frustrating sometimes when I get stressed and honestly a bit angry for having to rush at the last minute when I’m the last domino piece of the quarter end puzzle. And I don’t want to let us down. But this time there were a lot of things going on, and a lot of things that had to come together before the data was ready for me to do my part. Then when it was time to do my part there was not much time left. Could we have planned this better? I don’t know. It is and has been out of my control. I was good until I really needed a “mask” over my mouth in the last hour or two as I vented my frustrations.

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If we could do a bit more planning and have little icons set on a timeline that we have to be this far along by certain times in the month or we won’t finish on time – maybe the last minute crunch could be avoided. But there were new types of twists to this one that made things go awry. So….I’m not sure it could have been helped. Of course I pulled the rabbits out of the hat, ate lunch at my desk, prayed, prioritized, and did what I could to make up for it and was pleased that I made lemons out of a sauerkraut situation, LOL LOL. I don’t know where these things come from – they just pop in my head when I’m typing. How one can compare tax returns to sauerkraut is beyond me. I relate everything to food.

So back to the 11th hour…..As I mentioned it was a bit frantic as I had my day planned out but was redirected to do another return instead and rattled me a bit as it was the end of the day. I made notes that we need to try and NOT do that one at the end of the day but at the beginning of the day and I made notes that there are things I can have figured in advance to make it easier during the time crunch. I frustratingly called George and told him I’d be late, and it made me mad that suddenly at 4 p.m. I was just now realizing my night (our plans) was to be blown, but I was able to pull out of it more quickly than I thought. But…it meant I was not going to get through with the other things I was working on -gosh darnit. And then my email was exploding I got about 25 PTO forms at the very last minute as one of our plants had a power outage earlier in the week but decided to put those off til Monday to get ready for payroll.

I should do a procrastination post. I think most everyone lives in a procrastination world. That is so…..against my nature. I could probably title this post Procrastination as the opposite of it would have made for a better day for everyone. But it’s ok….I’m sure I procrastinate in some areas of my life too. And After all our plans were not ruined. I had done what I could with the time allotted, and wasn’t going to be able to focus and function beyond that point with accuracy. So I left at the time I normally do.

Dizzy Dizzy Dizzy

And yeah, There’s more to the story. I worked yesterday with dizziness, sweats, shakiness, and nearly passed out or stroked out or something around 1 or so. I have been doing my 16 hours of fasting and then eating in an 8 hour window of the day. It worked really well for two days! I could feel my body releasing fat, toxins, my tummy getting flatter, and felt great. I had found the way to do it w/o having to cleanse all day. But yesterday, I had water and fruits drink and then when I ate, because I was trying to eat quick, I ate starchy things – carrots with honey french dressing, mac and cheese cup, and two slices of bacon – oh and an oreo cookie. Odd weird lunch I know. Then a few minutes later while filing a return, everything turned upside down and I began to feel out of control like I was about to pass out or just disconnect from the world. I grabbed the desk and put my head down and drank water and ate nuts for quick protein.

So I had gone from not eating, to eating a bunch of everything that was sugar or starch that would turn into sugar. I think my system was shocked by it. This incident made me realize this is what was happening all those times I was dizzy across my life – and I can picture each time it happened, where I was and how it made me feel was just like what I experienced yesterday. And it’s the big reason why I’m afraid to be hungry or miss a meal. It’s the reason I overeat. It’s because I’ve always tried to avoid this happening. I remember these times in my life when this happened:

  1. College dorm, had been waiting to eat knowing we were going out later in the day for pizza. I drank a sweet tea in the lobby while waiting to be picked up.
  2. Working at Cain Sloan, a busy morning and didn’t eat properly- I’m sure I had a coke or something and then BAM. This is the biggest one though – I was dizzy for two days and had a hard time walking after this dizzy spell as it messed with my balance. It was the day before the Challenger exploded. I remember as I was home trying to recover and regain balance and clear vision and balance.
  3. Driving to Columbia with Katy in the car to my sister’s shower. Didn’t eat much knowing that we were going to eat later. Probably sipped on some kind of sweet drink on the way and bam. I recovered quickly and was able to get to the right lane where I chose to stay in case it happened again.
  4. At the movie theatre and mall at Hundred Oaks. We didn’t eat breakfast as we were going to an early matinee around noon and then eat after. I decided I’d cut calories by no breakfast and just eat popcorn and coke. Bam! I had to send Katy to tell George to hurry and get me a taco fast as I was about to pass out. Dizzy, sweat, everything going black. Protein brought me back.
  5. The day we went to Cheekwood, and I skipped lunch as we were going out to eat. Not sure if I had anything sweet or not but got the shakes really bad and felt out of control. We had to get something to eat in a hurry while waiting for friends to join us.
  6. The day we had a late brunch with a lot of starches and I topped it off with a pancake and syrup. BAM! Had to get George to take us through a fast food place where I could get a burger and eat the meat off the bun to bring me back.

Why is this backward from everyone else that has to have sugar to bring them back? Like orange juice. I have to eat protein to be brought back to normal. Anyway, I can’t do this again. I realize now what is causing it. Not eating for a stretch, followed by eating sugar/starch and not much protein.

So why did not do this while cleansing? I was following their system and eating some small thing every hour all day long and they had it built in where you wouldn’t have sugar highs or lows. I’m not sure which it is. I think I’m just getting opposite extremes and my system can’t handle it. Momma told me this might happen and I shooed her thoughts away but she was right. So no more fasting like that.

Instead of going home, I pushed through for the sake of quarter end processing. I knew I had to pull my part of the puzzle. But another reason we need to NOT try and do things last minute. Now we are all much older, I have a Momma older than me that will begin need much more care, and we will have a new Grandson soon. So procrastination could prove to be a nasty notch on the wheel if selected as the course of option always. One never knows when you have a situation that will take you away that will put a kink in everything planned, and then there is payroll. So double trouble. This is why I like to get things done early! You are in a better position for life to happen.

But no worries and no more fasting! That will at least help. If I’d known that I could have had a nice breakfast yesterday! LOL. Dang it!

I’d rather be fat and happy than stroked out and dizzy.

Evening Out

And since I stayed at work, as bad as I felt, I pushed through our plans to go to the new restaurant in town, MEMO’s.

I kinda felt like I was put through a grinder of sorts and spit out the other end of the work week, and it was odd sitting there at the restaurant with George on the other side of me. Wow. All I could think of was taxes, returns, numbers, files, computer, calculator, desk, pens. Now I’m plunked down in a restaurant with a drink in my hand and no words. All I could say was “How was your day?” I had no brain left. Not much energy and was looking very forward to those fajitas! Protein, my friend!

We were so excited when it arrived, I apparently didn’t take a picture, LOL. But I did get the drinks and yes, even after yesterday’s debacle with the fasting, I had dessert. If I have a lot of protein I can handle it. So we got the Mexican Cheesecake.

For a few I came back to life and suggested to watch a movie when we got home. But on the way home I told George, I couldn’t do it. Couldn’t focus, just needed to play Candy Crush and go to bed. Dang it I left those clothes in the washer -was trying to get ahead and now need to reboot it and let it wash again most likely.

An Intruder?

Well I slept for a couple of hours and then woke up about an hour after George came to bed. I think about midnight or so. I kept hearing noises that didn’t sound familiar – full moon, booms and bangs in the night, a door shutting, a window being pried open. Who knows, but with each noise the imagination gets bigger. I had a home intruder envisioned in my brain. I got up to look outside. Imagine the horror when my sleepy eyes transfixed on the sun room door that was opened a few inches wide. What? I thought my eyes were betraying me – surely not. I went to another window for a closer look. And YES THE SUN ROOM DOOR was open!

I quickly jumped back in bed – the easiest way to get to George in a king size bed. He was sleeping good. Real good. Snores and all. I kept trying to wake him. It took three tries and alarmed him as I said the sun room door is open and I’m scared someone is in the house or has been.

He got up, I grabbed my phone and had the dial pad open where I could easily call 911 without fumbling. He grabbed the gun and began going forward and looking everywhere. We did not see anyone. I was rattled. I could not go to sleep until 4 a.m. Was anyone hiding somewhere? I played Candy Crush, drank SleepyTime Tea and waited for either morning or a burglar surprise – I wasn’t sure which. I just prayed. And at 4 a.m. when I knew people would start to stir across the neighborhood that we were nearing the safer hours and I crawled back in bed and slept until 8. George put double doors between Maisy and me so she wouldn’t wake me up.

The coffee is good, the blogging is good and I’m going for a second cup, a shower and then we are off to Lebanon TN for the day to shop and eat! And oh yeah, I’ll be grabbin a bit of something before I go. Likely an egg. I’ve been craving an egg sandwich all week. Maybe I’ll do an egg on whole grain – just once slice. Geez!

I think I’ll take my camera and keep it around my neck for our adventures today. What a beautiful day for some shots around the square!

Worry, Anxiety, Negativity, Reality

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It’s Friday! Yippee Yay! Yesterday great progress made toward the quarter end. It went way faster than I imagined and I won’t be as behind as I thought. However, it won’t be finished I don’t think on time as I really only have until Noon to post anything for banking thru today, if that. But just down to a few filings. And they are the harder ones that take more time, like Oregon and it requires a LOT of manual data entry. We have always been behind with those. So instead of a week behind, as far as I know, I’m only about 2 to 3 days behind. It could extend to the week if I don’t make good progress today though as it’ll be time to do payroll again which is about a 2 to 3 day time consumption. So….we’ll see, but it is going faster than I thought. At least the impact is minimal. I kinda see now, if we have a month like this in January then it should be no problem going to Texas as I sat idle for about 2 weeks this month and couldn’t work on it. It takes a while for the information to come to me and it seems like I sit and pant waiting on it and it comes all at once the last week leaving me to have to slam dunk it (or not). At that, I could plan a whole 2 week excursion to Australia and back and be able to still sorta finish. LOL

I don’t think my PTO form has been signed. However, I’ve been told verbally that I could go in January. So no worries. Maybe it’s been approved and I didn’t get a copy. Approval really has no bearing anyway, as we are planning to go regardless. Wouldn’t miss it for the world. Births and deaths are times that companies don’t get the luxury to come first.

OK sorry, I’ve promised not to worry about quarter ends any more! And trying not to worry about where we are going to stay in January. It just is going to be what it is going to be and we do what we can with the time we have and I can apparently with the help of God pull some bunnies out of the hat, so….it’s all good. Still one wonders how on earth January will be accomplished. And maybe it’ll be done by the time it’s the next quarter end, lol lol lol. There is more to do in Jan as you have to do all the w-2 reporting. So that will take a long minute.

Speaking of worries. I have some things to say. After being told that I was negative by someone recently, I have had a long week of thinking. It really hurts my feelings to be called negative. To me that is not what it is being. It’s being responsible to plan, propagate, figure out, stew over, map it, know how much time it will take, be prepared, look at all the angles, pick the right path. This is how I was brought up.

I’m also very goofy, laid back, forgetful and so I over compensate these things by over planning and thinking about things. It’s almost like a defense mechanism for the forgetful. I “worry” and “think” and “ponder” and “wonder” and go down rabbit holes and briar patches, because I care. And well because I know I’ll also have to pull rabbits out of the hat so you have to get the rabbits from somewhere. LOL.

I really hate that someone close to me “doesn’t get me”. Sometimes I think no one really does. I’ve always taken life seriously. I felt it was my role to do so. This has kept me alive taking life seriously. It has gotten things done. My negativity to others is a realist state to me. I am also shaped by the past. If I know something can go wrong, I plug a hole in it so it doesn’t happen again. If I know the train can veer off the track, I want to fix it where it won’t. I won’t enjoy the ride if I know something needs to be fixed. I feel like if I enjoy the ride that the thing that needs fixing will wreck us. Does this make sense?

Do I enjoy life? Heck yeah. But I like for the train to be on track, the boat on course and everything safe and planned like it should be so that it’s a smooth ride.

I don’t like clusters. They make me tense, they make me mad, they make me wonder why something wasn’t planned out, lol. I avoid them at all costs. You do not want to know me during a cluster. I feel like the universe is falling and after all the planning I did to avoid said cluster, if there is a cluster and you try to blame me for it – oh no sir! I think the ire goes through me faster than a bolt of lightning and I will be quick to point out exactly what the problems are and when leave you standing there with your mouth open at the entire list! And no more words will be said. Thus egg shells….LOL LOL I can’t help this about me. I try and I try hard. My feelings are real. I pin them in as much as I can for fear of being misunderstood and then they bubble out when the time comes. A voice and a mind must eventually be heard. A blog helps, by the way.

All that said, I agree I worry more than I should. God said today has enough of its own worries. And I worry over events that are months away. While it’s my nature to do so I still can allow God’s help and according to an article I read yesterday by Crosswalk’s Daily Inspiration emails, I’m doubting God if I don’t allow him to help.

In summary of this great article by Rick Warren, we doubt God, if we don’t allow God to help when we are anxious, impatient, resentful, bitter, dwell in guilt of the past, or when you feel inadequate. Rick says we should “doubt our doubts” and allow God to bring the anxiety levels down, realize God has a plan for our life, trust God’s wisdom when things don’t turn out, and believe in God’s forgiveness and in his power to help. Powerful stuff by Mr. Warren.

Sometimes God speaks through others and I think God was knowing that me and others needed this message. It’s a give and take thing with me. I give it to God and take it back. In reality we do need to make sure we are doing our part – that is where I go sideways is I take it ALL back again. But we have to remember that with prayer and God, Jesus, and our comforter and helper, The Spirit, we can move mountains.

My faith has apparently been too little. But I know my Creator and He knows me. I’m placing my faith and reminding myself again with the help of Rick Warren, that it really doesn’t matter what anyone thinks of me, it doesn’t matter whether quarter end is finished or not, it doesn’t matter if we have a hotel, a motel, an RV, a car or a tent in Texas – what matters is His Will, His Kingdom, and my place within it.

Tropic Storm, 16 Hour Fasting Technique, and Hacksaw Ridge Review

Good morning! Yesterday I set the desktop to fall photos with animals. It’s a desktop theme on microsoft. It reminded me of Cody and Katy and of course the deer in our yard. There are lots of new themes on there and I’m looking forward to finding a Thanksgiving one next week.

We had a lot of rain that threatened our area yesterday and it decided to unleash about the time I got off from work. I just took it slow, hugged the right lane and was thankful that most everyone else took it slow. It was very heavy rain. I could still see but ponding on the roads in Nashville area can be a big issue during these heavy rains. Flash flood warnings were out.

I was able to do the 16 hour window of “daily fasting” yesterday, in which I ate in an 8 hour window. It basically cut out a meal and instead I had two meals and a 140 calorie snack in between of protein. I drank my cleanse drink and put the Ionix stress formula in it with lots of ice and water. It kept me til lunch. I was busy and able to not notice any hunger pains but I had eaten a lot the night before (as we usually do).

I tried this Tuna Infusions yesterday. Oh my it was good. It’s by Chicken of the Sea. I had to look three or four times to make sure it wasn’t cat food. LOL

I may never buy regular tuna again! lol. Oh I will but this was good. It came with a fork and was easy to eat at my desk and totally worked for a snack. Requires mint chewing gum afterwards! Wearing a mask after tuna is no good, not to mention what ones coworkers may think when they are around. George won’t take tuna to work. But I do. Tuna rocks. I just got tired of eating it every week. I think that is what has happened to me. I got in a cycle of eating the same foods over and over and just flat got tired of it. I never DID get used to doing shakes every day during winter. I have some of it left in the big containers waiting to either drink it or expire so I can get the ones in the smaller containers. I just think something happens to the ingredients in the big containers that make them taste bad after it’s been open a while – even before it expires. But the ones in the little packets hold their “composure”. I haven’t ordered any more shakes lately though and I’m about ready to. I miss the chocolate ones. I just can’t stomach the big ones anymore. I had one or two that didn’t taste right and it’s hard to bring myself around. I guess I will toss them as they are taking up space but I feel guilty. They were expensive except the ones that I got for free. They sure do a good job though of getting the nutrients in. I can be achy from old age and drink that it is like medicine. I’ve just learned I have to get them in the packets. I will order more shakes next month. I have some vanilla’s left in packets.

Little Bit likes hanging outside as that is where he loves to be – either on our porch or out in the woods. I’m sure he probably visits neighbors. So far no one has complained. If they did not sure what we would do. He’s sortof a stray cat that we just brought home to this area so we could feed him. But we claim him as ours. He has to be about 11 years old or so. But yesterday he was just a fussing over the rain and wanted to hang inside. He tried to go back out a couple of times and ran back in, LOL. I fixed his bed up in the guest bed and put the quilt down in his favorite spot so he wouldn’t get on the comforter.

I tried to get a good pic of Roger’s little drowned rat look but he kept moving. I wasn’t going to use them but why not? It tells the story of what happened really well. Never mind my ratty floors. They will be gone soon and a pretty replacement. It hardly seems real. I will be so excited. Have to wait til after the baby is born and we will likely have to take off a day or two of work.

George fixed dinner and I wrapped gifts for Friday’s “shower” with no people. lol. I think there will be a table for the father to be and a bride to be. We had lessons of “No more sharing of food you guys. You cannot cook for each other and share food during the pandemic”. We had some sweet folks to pass out some things in recent days out of the kindness of their hearts. It was yum. I survived. It’s this kind of thing that is hard when you want to share and can’t. This virus is the perfect devil-created thing to keep people from being close. However, as we know, God takes things and turns it around for good. I’m not sure how yet, but I know He does. For me, it gave me time to learn iMovies! And of course if we want to commune at work, we just go out for lunch to do it. We have done more of that I guess than we normally did. So that is good. It’s about time too for another excursion out. Maybe after quarter end though. I’m sure I’ll finish with that next week, I hope. It should be finished this week but I didn’t get the information in time to even dream of being able to get it done this week. There were a lot of issues that had to be fixed, found, and adjusted first. That’s ok. I am trying to rush it through as quick as I can. It’s going pretty fast. But today is the 29th and it is supposed to be finished by tomorrow. It won’t be. Most things are not requiring much $ to be paid for unemployment so not much interest or fines, and that is what we would be trying to avoid.

We saw Hacksaw Ridge last night. I’d been putting it off as I figured it’d be hard to watch. And it was. It was very graphic, very real. I had to look away a number of times. We both cried. I knew that it was based on a real story and I knew without a doubt that it depicted what really happened at the Battle of Okinawa It was hard to watch, and as I said, I had to look away. I could not bare to see human life go through such. But the character of Desmond Doss played by Andrew Garfield was excellent. I enjoyed seeing Vince Vaughn as the sergeant and Rachel Griffith’s as the Mom (also played in Six Feet Under, and we had to figure that out.) The movie was excellent. The effects were excellent. But it was very intense and I had to delete messages on my phone for about 20 minutes as I looked down. I could not watch the graphic scenes. But it gives you a deeper appreciation for those that gave their lives. I think everyone should have to sit in the room with this one at least just to give respect for those that had to endure this and other wars protecting our rights. And here people go across our country trying to tear down what they protected. It’s insane the selfishness that is taking place right now across our country. People are standing for things they don’t realize they are standing for. They are being deceived.

“RATED R for intense prolonged realistically graphic sequences of war violence including grisly bloody images.”

And Little Bit watched it with us. Much of it in my lap. Do you know how much I loved this? I miss my lap cats and my lap dog. Maisy tried, but just couldn’t stay. She wants to watch me from a few feet away. She’s learned not to be jealous. For the most part. Bless her.

Maisy is on the floor behind me and Little Bit is so black you can’t see his face hardly, lol.

I just loved having him there in my lap.

I think he liked being there in my lap. Look at his back legs crossed like a human, lol. How many pics of a black cat in my lap did you really want to see? I had to share them all at every angle! That is how much I loved him being there. He seemed pretty happy too.