Conflicts and Complexities of Christmas – oh and Exhaustion

Yesterday I went to work and discovered a plant had not followed payroll instructions (sent twice) and sent a bunch of late PTO forms for last week after payroll had closed. ::sigh:: So that is how my day began yesterday. What could have been a smooth short week where we have extra work could have been smoother for everyone and my answer is simply “we will do what we can with the time we have” and as I understand it from my boss, there is a lot of year end stuff to do and not much time.

In addition to not having time, I left half day yesterday to attend George’s Uncle Robert’s visitation and funeral. A very sudden death and a much loved person by his family and friends. Having given work the best of me since July with crazy hours and –well you saw who worked Sunday –when I could have been out with my daughter having fun – I decided I was going to this funeral with George and in support of the family. Work doesn’t get me first. I wanted to be there for the memorial/celebration of his life. So there was no asking – it was simply “I’ve got to leave to go to a funeral”. And I did.

Oh I know I’ll pay for it when I get back this week. But I’ll drink my Ionix like I did yesterday, and everyone, including me, will just have to face the facts: There are two days left to work in the week. There is one of me. There are critical deadlines. And something will have to go b/c there are four days of work to do, plus month end, year end, and quarter end. Not all of that has to be complete by Friday. But some of it does. We will do the most important things first and sadly it won’t include time to do a lot of extras.

I did the “after payroll processes” and ran some reports, organized for my 401k, garn, and tax uploads I’ll do later in the week. And spent most of the morning stuffing the TN plant checks so they would be ready for delivery Thursday morning.

I left work feeling exasperated. I needed to go the funeral. I needed to be at work. Decision was already made. I was exhausted – having rushed around all week, and we have had things we’ve been doing at night – grocerying, eating out, trying to insert family time with Katy and Cody in town. They have not gotten the best of me. I’m spent by 6 or 7 having been going since the 4 o-clock a.m. hour. And what has not helped has been the lack of sleep. Waking up at 1:30 every morning and hoping to snooze again before 4. But one feels guilty having these thoughts when there are grandchildren that just lost their grandpa and family that has lost their Dad. How devastated they must be here at Christmas, and then my problems don’t seem so bad. There are also others that are seriously ill. Another family lost their child, and another George knows lost their teenage son. So my tiredness, is nothing compared to the ailing going on in others. And I reign in my thoughts and feelings of being thankful that we have each other and we have been able to pull off a really difficult season and hopefully give a wonderful Christmas to everyone. It still doesn’t change the fact that I’m exhausted before Christmas starts, or not worried about how the rest of the week will go, or counting up how many years left til retirement when I can freaking enjoy the holidays for once. But at least we all still have each other.

I also know that for my story, is another’s story slightly different but much the same – we are all struggling to get through the holidays – the pressures, the timelines, the moods (including our own) as the short weeks occur and additional work is on you – and some with sickness in their family and some with themselves, and most of us battling sinus issues anyway as it’s 30 one day and 60 the next. Some with funerals, some with family members who are difficult, __________ fill in the blank with your own situation. It seems that all flaws, problems, and responsibilities and issues become magnified at this time and a light shines down upon them. I think the devil likes to try to use Jesus’ holiday to create the most havoc and distraction that he can – the sorry toad that he is. No wonder heaven kicked him out. He didn’t make the cut, didn’t make the grade, and literally his elevator doesn’t go to the top. Let’s just take this time to say that he is kicked to the curb, homeless, and will find his home in the basement one day. Til then he travels to and fro (hope it’s not in an RV) seeking who he can devour.

So back to yesterday…after the funeral, we went out to eat at Swaney Swift on the square in Gallatin. And it kept entering my mind…I’m off for the next two whole days! It felt as if we were about to board a ship heading for the Bahamas. And there’s presents in our near future!

Swaney Swift Restaurant, Gallatin, TN

It once used to be a drug store and now a restaurant and milkshake (diner) atmosphere. Mainly burgers but have other things too. I got a salad. We had a beer.

Christmas Tree on the Square, Gallatin, TN

Then George reminded me we had to go to the store again for the fresh stuff and a little surprise. I had completely forgot with the funeral and the work situation and the crunch time and the lack of sleep. Somewhere in there since working Sunday – I’d kinda given up on my to do list. There wasn’t much time to do anything extra – not even time to look at it really. But thank goodness George is able to see through all the muddle and huddle and keep us on task. So off to Publix we go, me so tired I could stretch out across the ham and turkey’s and sleep in the middle freezer section.

All I could think of going home was bed and how every little thing at that point was as arduous as the climbing of Everest: The small drive home, the climbing up the stairs with grocery bags, the putting up of groceries, taking the dogs out, rebooting the laundry, feeding the dogs. Would it ever end?

I put up the important stuff and left the rest on the counter – the laundry I may have to rewash – I was done – we took dogs out. George fed them. I hit the sack! Sleep was good til 1:30 when Maisy woke me up wanting to go outside. I took her out b/c she was about to jump off the bed to go. So then back in bed I couldn’t sleep. I waned to get up and start doing things but I was only with less than 5 hours – I want to enjoy this day! So I took a few squirts of sleep spray, drank some water, took several deep breaths and after an hour went to sleep. I woke up again and thought why can’t I sleep? and I realized oh I was sleeping – I was dreaming – so I must have been sleeping.

So that is what’s been going on the last day or so and today I’m going to get my shower done and reboot the laundry and make sausage balls and straighten up the house a final time (it’s pretty much clean – just where we have lived in it the last couple of days). And then our dinner starts tonight and Christmas day tomorrow and…I get my iMac! I won’t get to do anything with it til Saturday – I don’t think. But I’m looking forward to it.

And for two days, work is erased from my mind, I’ll be in the present (in the presents, lol) and will enjoy the time! Someone may have to remind me to go to work Thursday – I normally like to have the 26th off to unwind. But it’s all good. I made my mind up it was ok to work on the 26th when I got to go to Texas. (It’s not but I’m sucking it up!) And then we’ll go from there. But these two days are mine and no one but family can have it! Sawwwwwry (in your best Carol Burnette voice). lol

3 responses to “Conflicts and Complexities of Christmas – oh and Exhaustion”

  1. Oh my just when it seemed like things were ever so good.hope the rest goes smoothly just don’t let it steal your Christmas spirit away you can do this ! Hang in there!!!

  2. don’t let the work steal your sunshine. take a moment or two to relish the holiday with your family. have a MERRY CHRISTMAS.

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